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Darkfire
Over 90 days ago
Bisexual Female, 50
0 miles · Greater London
Forum
I love the handmade stuff though 
my lot are in the main, very disadvantaged kids, with various problems from abuse history to alcoholism, getting something handmade from them really means alot, because it means they've thought about it and importantly recognise what I do, and then have felt at least some emotion and dealt with it in a positive way, wheras 6 months ago they'd have put a fist through a window or blocked it out with drugs.
.....I actually dont want to be away for 6 weeks :cry:
my lot are in the main, very disadvantaged kids, with various problems from abuse history to alcoholism, getting something handmade from them really means alot,
because it means they've thought about it and importantly recognise what I do, and then have felt at least some emotion and dealt with it in a positive way, wheras 6 months ago they'd have put a fist through a window or blocked it out with drugs......I actually dont want to be away for 6 weeks :cry:
Quote by couple_ne2000
Would I play with someone with disabilities.......Honestly, I don't know
...But to be totally truthful, I don't know if I would often be in a position to get to know someone with an obvious disability. Why - although it sounds awful - fear. Fear of offending and not knowing how to act. Mainly due to Political correctness and the media, i.e. what "labels" are currently accptable. ...
As awful as it sounds, if I saw a wheelchair user or a blind person (as examples) in a bar, I would see the disability before the person. I wouldn't approach them because I would come over all shy and flustered.......do I acknowledge the disability, or ignore it. Do I ask about it, in the same way people ask me about my dread locks and tatoos? Is this offensive or is it acceptable? ...
... Also I would be able to gauge how comfortable they are with their own disability and how they are comfortable being treated, i.e are the fiercly independent and would they be offended if you offered an arm to help them up a set of stairs, or would they welcome the help....
My problem is my fear of offending and fear of getting it wrong. A fear of causing unintentional distress to someone. Very importanly it is MY problem. Some people on this thread have said that they don't mention their disability until they have got to know someone a little bit first. This approach would help someone like me, because I would feel that I have the rapport to be able to ask if they view it as a disability and how they like it to be dealt with (ie dealing with practicalities etc), without me feeling I'm opening my mouth and stumbling around the subject and ending up with both my feet in my mouth at the end of it.
Les x
:thumbup: that's exactly how i feel.
not that the discussion is going very far at the moment
I'd love to see more posts from those who do have physical disabilities / sensory impairments and to hear more about their experiences & views on swinging and disability. And I'd also like to see more folk speak up and admit actually, it would be a problem. But as we cant stick to the thread topic without people posting crap that detracts from the actual subject at hand, I think i'll be waiting a while.
I think it really does depend on each person's perception of what 'disability' is. I dont mean to sound 'dismissive' - and blue badge or not, I personally dont consider Crohns or Arthritis a disability which would 'put me off' playing. I think as long as I clicked sexually with the person, it wouldnt matter about their disability - I've opened my mind considerably since the Night of the Senses thing last year.
I feel like I'd need to ask someone what they can and cant do, what they need help with or what I need to do, and to understand. There is someone I'd like to play with here, but to be honest I'm 'scared' to ask the questions, but without the questions it just aint gonna happen, but with the questions i'm gonna look silly and naive and 'nosey' for not understanding in the first place so they wont want to play with me anyway
I feel like I'd need to ask someone what they can and cant do, what they need help with or what I need to do, and to understand. There is someone I'd like to play with here, but to be honest I'm 'scared' to ask the questions, but without the questions it just aint gonna happen, but with the questions i'm gonna look silly and naive and 'nosey' for not understanding in the first place so they wont want to play with me anyway
it is , as far as i'm aware, illegal for a child under 14 (???) to be in the passenger seat of a car without a safety seat, and for any front passenger to be not wearing a seatbelt. (correct me if i'm wrong 
)
After a 60mph head on crash, the engine left where the gear stick is and the only reason I , my partner and my 7 year old (6 at the time) daughter, and the dog, who hit the windowscreen from the backseat are still here is because we had seatbelts on and she was in her safety seat.
) After a 60mph head on crash, the engine left where the gear stick is and the only reason I , my partner and my 7 year old (6 at the time) daughter, and the dog, who hit the windowscreen from the backseat are still here is because we had seatbelts on and she was in her safety seat.
Quote by oneforall
Are there any couples or singles on the site with issues surrounding physical ability who might like to voice their opinion?
I dunno if its my oppinion or not - but this interests me, alot.
This time last year I was invited to Night of the Senses with a friend ( not disabled ) ( and i'll apologise now for the lack of pc language cos i know its a contentious issue but i dont do PC, i just say what I think)
initially I loved the idea and was up for going for a really good experience of the event - no expectation of anything else... and then bottled it. Why? .... because I didnt know how i'd handle/ react if someone with a mental or physical disability came onto me. How shallow is that
so anyway I bottled it, and missed out on an, by all accounts, very good night. And i've thought about it alot since then.
I've come to the conclusion that its my own lack of knowledge and understanding thats the issue - I dont know how to 'be' with a disabled person. I have enough of a debate over whether its 'pc' to open a door for someone or offer to help reach things from a shelf in the supermarket, let alone what i'm suposed to do in the bedroom !! I dont wish to offend by calling someone 'disabled' when the pc term might be 'wheelchair-user' and appear ignorant to someone's needs because I dont understand what their needs are
I dont even know what I 'class' as a disability ooo, getting myself in a right muddle here - i'll come back to this
{hijack}
I know i said keep this thread on track...... but....
i dont understand what you're getting at Tania
{end hijack}
I know i said keep this thread on track......
but....Quote by Tania
we don' t need to put every thread under the microscope and try to prove ourselves better than the poster. (Unfortunately, this is the trend lately and I am just wondering whether this is the reason some very fine people do not post any more.)
i dont understand what you're getting at Tania
{end hijack}
oh god
please can we keep this one on track, and not debate the ins and outs of that particular LMU thread?
this could become one of those very good important discussions we ocasionally have on here - if allowed
:thumbup:
please can we keep this one on track, and not debate the ins and outs of that particular LMU thread?
this could become one of those very good important discussions we ocasionally have on here - if allowed
What are the thoughts of ALL of us here on SH surrounding ability/disability?
Are there any couples or singles on the site with issues surrounding physical ability who might like to voice their opinion?
Obviously we all have desires and needs, lets hope that there is room enough on here (an otherwise very open minded and understanding site) to accept all for what they are, and what might turn them on?
>law permitting, obviously!! hehe<
any thoughts?
:thumbup:
My comment Dawn?
that was an 'ouch' = i dont much like the idea that SH members, disabled or not, are considered lowenough to need use a channel such as an internet website to get a shag.
the ' :giveup: ' = wish i hadnt have bothered giving my support I dont see what the issue is if someone wants to meet someone who has a disability but I do have an issue with the insinuation that looking for fun on a swingers site is 'lowering yourself' .
that was an 'ouch' = i dont much like the idea that SH members, disabled or not, are considered lowenough to need use a channel such as an internet website to get a shag.
the ' :giveup: ' = wish i hadnt have bothered giving my support
I dont see what the issue is if someone wants to meet someone who has a disability but I do have an issue with the insinuation that looking for fun on a swingers site is 'lowering yourself' . I'm sorry, i cant see what the problem is
so the post could have been better worded, but in essence the guy is a 'giver' & wants to meet disabled people for fun - whats wrong with that? I dont know if its a 'kink' or not - but we all have those in one form or another. I dont see that as 'perverted' at all.
I recommend Night of the Senses - its on 2nd September this year but I'm not going as it clashes with my munch - its worth a look though for those who are able to open their minds a little
Quote by swingerukbeds
purely for giving satisfaction not any selfish or perverted reasons i want older or disabled couples and women for friendship and fun and the ultimate in understanding. MAYBE I COULD HELP THE PARTNER TO SATISFY THE OTHER WHEN SHE OR HE EVEN CANNOT PROVIDE. YOUNGER A POSIBILITY.
so the post could have been better worded, but in essence the guy is a 'giver' & wants to meet disabled people for fun - whats wrong with that? I dont know if its a 'kink' or not - but we all have those in one form or another. I dont see that as 'perverted' at all.
I recommend Night of the Senses - its on 2nd September this year but I'm not going as it clashes with my munch - its worth a look though for those who are able to open their minds a little
