Quote by curvy-gal
hey xxx
I apologise in advance if i mumble on lol
right...
You may have noticed that i've been a bit quiet recently (not like me is it lol) but i've had a bit of a bad experience and its got nothing to do with SH but all the same I'd like to share it if thats ok.
(have edited the middle bit because i'm far too riled to post anything of any use)
Eventually he did give up and I know that I should have made him go then too, but I felt so scared and freaked that I didnt and lay awake for the rest of the night until he went at 8am the next day.
I'm trying very hard not to go completely off on one here..... i might have to come back to this.
Thinking about this afterwards, drinks aside and all, I'm starting to think that a lot of this is my own fault and because of this, it makes me a really unsuitable swinger if I feel i cant tell someone to leave when i'm feeling really uncomfortable with them doesnt it.
My own opinion on this particular bit is that No, it doesnt make you an unsuitable 'swinger', but you do need some 'i'm not playing at the moment' time to take stock and have a think about things. If you have a problem saying No to someone, it makes you very vulnerable in this scene and if i were you I'd take some time out (from playing, not the site).
From another thread, but entirely relevant : Swinging as a single female is something that requires a bit of faith in yourself - you WILL have to be brave sometimes, you WILL have to learn to deal with unwanted attention, and you WILL have to find the emotional maturity to deal with what can be a complicated set of circumstances - and you have to do that yourself, for yourself. YOU need to have the strength and self-respect to keep yourself safe here.
...... If you have trouble refusing to play with people you don't want to play with, you are not safe here. At the very least you're going to spend all your time crying over threads like this, and at the other end of the scale, being a lone single female in a club who is incapable of saying 'no' is an extremely uncomfortable and potentially damaging scenario.
There's some good advice in this thread - if I were you, I would have a good read of it and think seriously about what you want to get out of this scene, and what kind of ....you need to have in order to manage it safely.
Cocoa x

So , still a bit freaked out by this, I've now taken my ad from my profile and really dont want to consider meets... although I love this site and dont want to go. there are some brilliant people on here and I still feel that I'd like to come to a social or a group meeting to meet you all (but not necessarily for play)
I was just wondering if any of you do the same and if its acceptable.
Sorry for going on
Curvy xxx
Curvy hun, its entirely acceptable - and ffs stop beating yourself up about it.
There are lots of people here who dont 'swing', there are lots of folk who 'swing' as and when it suits them. Me , for a start.
You are welcome here wether you're here socially or shagging everything that moves. That's my experience of this site, and i'm sticking to it. :D I'm not 'doing meets' at the moment, nor am I actively looking, and havent been for a couple of months now.... if something exceptional comes up, fantastic. If it doesnt, I aint lost owt anyway :lol: but SH is still my 'home', wether I'm actively swinging or not. It is yours too, if you choose to adopt it as such.
Munches and socials are excatly that - just socials. You dont attend in order to get a shag at the end of the night - you come to meet 'us lot' and have a bloody good night out! There is no pressure hun and nobody has an issue whether you're 'currently playing' or not. If you're active on the site, you're a member of the community and therefore you get your butt to Munches and socials because that's how it works! :thumbup:

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