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Darkfire
Over 90 days ago
Bisexual Female, 50
0 miles · Greater London
Forum
it means the same yes.
doesnt mean that every person who's a member of a swinging site is a swinger, nor does it mean that everyone, swinger or not, pays attention to the etiquette though!
you've seen the quick shag brigade, you've seen the 'i've been here 2 weeks and still havent had a shag yet, what's wrong with you people' posts, and the directors in the chatroom who think its their right to get a show because a female has switched their cam on. Surely?
there's etiquette and there's people who blatantly dont give a shite about the 'unwritten rules' that form that etiquette, regardless of what site they're on.
doesnt mean that every person who's a member of a swinging site is a swinger, nor does it mean that everyone, swinger or not, pays attention to the etiquette though!
you've seen the quick shag brigade, you've seen the 'i've been here 2 weeks and still havent had a shag yet, what's wrong with you people' posts, and the directors in the chatroom who think its their right to get a show because a female has switched their cam on. Surely?
there's etiquette and there's people who blatantly dont give a shite about the 'unwritten rules' that form that etiquette, regardless of what site they're on.
A date might be useful :idea:
And a bit more info about the party, expectations, number of people, number of playrooms, any houserules - smoking or play is designated areas only , for example.
How many couples/ fems/ single guys approximately?
Is it bring your own bottle? will there be food layed on, and most importantly, is there a charge?
can you provide overnight accom / a list of local hotels for those who might be willing to travel? :idea:
and, a bit more info about you wouldnt go amiss either. I assume as you're inviting people to your private house, you might want to know a little about them first - it works both ways. 2 one-liner ads and teaming up with someone else doesnt give me enough info to think 'hmmmmm, sounds good, shall i go?'
:
Are you intending to join in? (some people throw parties for the enjoyment of others because they have a suitable house etc, some throw parties because they're voyeurs and like to watch, some throw parties because they want as much 'action' as possible etc)
41 people have looked luv, but although they should know what to expect because its billed as a 'house party', there's very little to go on
And a bit more info about the party, expectations, number of people, number of playrooms, any houserules - smoking or play is designated areas only , for example.
How many couples/ fems/ single guys approximately?
Is it bring your own bottle? will there be food layed on, and most importantly, is there a charge?
can you provide overnight accom / a list of local hotels for those who might be willing to travel? :idea:
and, a bit more info about you wouldnt go amiss either. I assume as you're inviting people to your private house, you might want to know a little about them first - it works both ways. 2 one-liner ads and teaming up with someone else doesnt give me enough info to think 'hmmmmm, sounds good, shall i go?'
: Are you intending to join in? (some people throw parties for the enjoyment of others because they have a suitable house etc, some throw parties because they're voyeurs and like to watch, some throw parties because they want as much 'action' as possible etc)
41 people have looked luv, but although they should know what to expect because its billed as a 'house party', there's very little to go on
I love the forum beacuse it's 'home'.
I like the sense of community you just dont get elsewhere, i like the banter and the quick wit and the hilariously funny coffee-spitting moments.
I like the fact, like HLB says - i can go make a coffee/ go to work/ get on with real life stuff and still not miss what's going on here. I am still 'part of it' even if i'm no where near the pc!
I like the people and our different perspectives and how the threads allow for sometimes very good discussion with opinions given from a wide variety of individuals of different age, background, status etc who would not perhaps associate or even have opportunity to have such discussion in real life because our paths simply would not cross were it not for the site.
I can log on here at stupid o'clock and there's gonna be someone around to keep me company. And even if there isnt, i can still type bollox and know it'll be responded to later
I like the psychology of it, 'people-watching' even if its virtual & online. I like the frank open discussions about sex, with people who, in the main, are here for the same reasons & dont treat 'sex' as .
I like how we help and support each other, offer help and quite often keep each other going. I love how people 'click' here and how genuine friendship or respect shines like a fuckin beacon sometimes. I love how even those who dont swing are welcomed and accepted, and how the emphasis here is not always sexual, but social and communitarian. I love how most days there is a selection of threads running about subjects as diverse as jaffa cakes to loss of control fantasy, from squirting to advice and who's got the best bum, all contributed to by people as diverse as the threads themselves.
I like the sense of community you just dont get elsewhere, i like the banter and the quick wit and the hilariously funny coffee-spitting moments.
I like the fact, like HLB says - i can go make a coffee/ go to work/ get on with real life stuff and still not miss what's going on here. I am still 'part of it' even if i'm no where near the pc!
I like the people and our different perspectives and how the threads allow for sometimes very good discussion with opinions given from a wide variety of individuals of different age, background, status etc who would not perhaps associate or even have opportunity to have such discussion in real life because our paths simply would not cross were it not for the site.
I can log on here at stupid o'clock and there's gonna be someone around to keep me company. And even if there isnt, i can still type bollox and know it'll be responded to later
I like the psychology of it, 'people-watching' even if its virtual & online. I like the frank open discussions about sex, with people who, in the main, are here for the same reasons & dont treat 'sex' as .
I like how we help and support each other, offer help and quite often keep each other going. I love how people 'click' here and how genuine friendship or respect shines like a fuckin beacon sometimes. I love how even those who dont swing are welcomed and accepted, and how the emphasis here is not always sexual, but social and communitarian. I love how most days there is a selection of threads running about subjects as diverse as jaffa cakes to loss of control fantasy, from squirting to advice and who's got the best bum, all contributed to by people as diverse as the threads themselves.
Quote by cockslut
also there was a forum running last week seeking mentors for newbies, surely if these mentors have differing views, people will get differing views on what socials are etc. they may even scare them to death with supposedly unsafe gatherings they may never progress further along this path
(sorry, another tangent, but I wanted to answer this)
:dry: I think you'll find that people who are mentors on this scheme are ardent supporters of the social scene here on SH, and will actively encourage newbies to attend socials and Munches and to meet more folk face to face on a social basis - if that's what they express an interest in. More to the point, mentors should be able to give a definition of each if asked, and know that the information they're giving to people is accurate.
As far as I'm aware, mentors help newbies if the have specific questions or general guidance, and are there to help people find their feet and their way around the site. They do not give personal recommendations over which socials/ Munches to attend etc - and talking about 'unsafe gatherings' before they've even got past the first 'hello we're new' hurdle would be a pretty damn stupid thing to do when you're given such a position of responsibility by the Mods. Personally, I think once folk have found their feet here, with or without the support of a mentor they can make up their own minds about what is 'safe' and what isnt.
At least, they can if the definitions are clear and they know what to expect if they put their names down.
Quote by browning
The word should never be mentioned, full stop.
do you mean on here?
or in general?
but either way, that's a rather 'brush it under the carpet and pretend it doesnt happen' attitude, isnt it?
It may not be everyone's cup of tea luv but as far as adult discussions go, this is by far, one of the best threads I've seen. Throughout the whole thing, the 'R' word has been condemned - yet its still been part of the discussion - and importantly so.
so it appears your saying if someone wants to meet 4 sex (ie, a photo advert user) there not wanted at socials, b4 you reply i'm not suggesting sex at the you realy think if and i say if because from photo ads experience shows 99% don't turn up cos someone advertises in the photo ad section there gonna "jump" on every female at a vanilla pub.i'm certain they will be as controlled as any one should be who frequents any public house.
Will they? you might be certain luv but imo everyone who attends also needs to have that level of faith in the organiser, and each other.
am i right in thinking if someones got say 1000 posts they are more safer to meet? a post with someones sense of humour showing (which what lots of posts are) doesn't suggest there safer to meet.
Nope, but like Jas says, if someone frequents the chatroom or forum:
Post count has nothing to do with it - but frequenting the boards and taking on some of the values held & understanding the communitarian ethos does, imo - and the longer folk spend on the boards, joining in and finding out more, the more they 'get' it.
youve said theres a divide betwen the 3 mediums but want to try and close that divide but your posts aren't suggesting that, as you say don't invite people who advertise in other sections.
Nope, I said there's a divide between the way some people using the 3 mediums approachswinging. I also did not say 'we' dont invite people who use other sections - we dont invite people who are not known in large numbers (which is effectively what you're doing when advertising a social in the ads section) (which is different to allowing several 'forum/chat newbies' to a social - which is positively encouraged)
Jas wrote:
:thumbup: I really think that's the best solution to this little problem. (I know we're a bit off topic here, but this needed addressing imo. )
However I dont agree with the linking it in your ads bit *folds arms stomps foot* - but thats just my opinion.
You have many contacts in your area Cockslut, and people who frequent your chatroom - i'd say just let them know in chat or by pm (without divulging other details) that its up in LMU, the rest is up to them. If people are interested in the social aspect, they will put that effort in.
I still dont think advertising socials - by advert in the ads section or a link on that advert is good practice - you're still encouraging people generally who are primarily interested in your AD (as in they're looking at it because they've done a search for couples in the Derby area, they're looking at your pics, they're searching for a meet etc ) to come along to a social. It just doesnt sit well with me at all.
Will they? you might be certain luv but imo everyone who attends also needs to have that level of faith in the organiser, and each other.
am i right in thinking if someones got say 1000 posts they are more safer to meet? a post with someones sense of humour showing (which what lots of posts are) doesn't suggest there safer to meet.
Nope, but like Jas says, if someone frequents the chatroom or forum:
it just means that they are active on the boards and that you may have some inclinination regarding their personality and whether you want them at your social or not
Post count has nothing to do with it - but frequenting the boards and taking on some of the values held & understanding the communitarian ethos does, imo - and the longer folk spend on the boards, joining in and finding out more, the more they 'get' it.
youve said theres a divide betwen the 3 mediums but want to try and close that divide but your posts aren't suggesting that, as you say don't invite people who advertise in other sections.
Nope, I said there's a divide between the way some people using the 3 mediums approachswinging. I also did not say 'we' dont invite people who use other sections - we dont invite people who are not known in large numbers (which is effectively what you're doing when advertising a social in the ads section) (which is different to allowing several 'forum/chat newbies' to a social - which is positively encouraged)
Jas wrote:
....If you are trying to encourage cross overs between all areas then perhaps a link in your ads to let people know you are organising social and that they'll find all details in LMU.
That encourages them onto the forums so that they will perhaps gain a better understanding of expectations for munches and socials.
:thumbup: I really think that's the best solution to this little problem. (I know we're a bit off topic here, but this needed addressing imo. )
However I dont agree with the linking it in your ads bit
*folds arms stomps foot* - but thats just my opinion. You have many contacts in your area Cockslut, and people who frequent your chatroom - i'd say just let them know in chat or by pm (without divulging other details) that its up in LMU, the rest is up to them. If people are interested in the social aspect, they will put that effort in.
I still dont think advertising socials - by advert in the ads section or a link on that advert is good practice - you're still encouraging people generally who are primarily interested in your AD (as in they're looking at it because they've done a search for couples in the Derby area, they're looking at your pics, they're searching for a meet etc ) to come along to a social. It just doesnt sit well with me at all.
Ahhhhhhhhhhh :idea:
you're talking about this: http://www.swingingheaven.co.uk/swingers-forum/viewtopic/4225.html
the 'how to link your advert' post - which, incidentally has been a sticky since before the 'new' profile system - which didnt automatically link to (there was no button in the profile box) member's adverts.
We used to encourage people to link to their personal adverts when posting in LMU for meets - so that folk also looking for meets could find more info about the poster and what they are looking for etc.
"Let's Meet Up" is for advertising meets, socials and Munches - the ads section is for personal adverts. It is still my oppinion that people should not be posting personal adverts in the ads section for the purpose of publicising Socials. IMO, and some people will disagree of course, those who frequent the ads section do so for a reason - they're looking for personal 1:1 type meets, and have little interest in attending 'socials' - as in socials as we understand them to be.... otherwise they'd be frequenting LMU too, wouldnt they? but by opening up a social and publicising it in the adverts section you're effectively inviting every Tom Dick and Harry, which is not good practice in terms of personal safety, discretion and the security of your guests.
That sticky, in my mind is not there to encourage the linking of personal ads to postsfor Socials - usually people organising socials dont need to tell people to 'look here and find out more about me' - its for people who are advertising for meets - which by definition, is a different kettle of fish to a Social.
you're talking about this: http://www.swingingheaven.co.uk/swingers-forum/viewtopic/4225.html
the 'how to link your advert' post - which, incidentally has been a sticky since before the 'new' profile system - which didnt automatically link to (there was no button in the profile box) member's adverts.
We used to encourage people to link to their personal adverts when posting in LMU for meets - so that folk also looking for meets could find more info about the poster and what they are looking for etc.
"Let's Meet Up" is for advertising meets, socials and Munches - the ads section is for personal adverts. It is still my oppinion that people should not be posting personal adverts in the ads section for the purpose of publicising Socials. IMO, and some people will disagree of course, those who frequent the ads section do so for a reason - they're looking for personal 1:1 type meets, and have little interest in attending 'socials' - as in socials as we understand them to be.... otherwise they'd be frequenting LMU too, wouldnt they? but by opening up a social and publicising it in the adverts section you're effectively inviting every Tom Dick and Harry, which is not good practice in terms of personal safety, discretion and the security of your guests.
That sticky, in my mind is not there to encourage the linking of personal ads to postsfor Socials - usually people organising socials dont need to tell people to 'look here and find out more about me' - its for people who are advertising for meets - which by definition, is a different kettle of fish to a Social.
Quote by firelizard
You and me both Dark
I dare'nt brush a nipple accidently with my hand or arm as it sends a pulse down to "me bits" hmmmm I wonder if I could find a way to generate electricity that way :idea: :giggle:
Love
Fire xxxx
just stick ya finger in the plug socket hun, there's enough energy to power the national grid for a week all pent up down there you know
worst of it is, I aint got PMT, it's injection day tomorrow - which means there's no nasty stomach cramps or icky feelings to make this go away
- my pm box is now closed for the duration cos mood i'm in i've only got to get one of those 'fancy a shag' pm's and i might just fall for it 
Quote by Sassy-Seren
Well I have to admit I'm horny 24/7 ( even worse this week ):
how can you be worse than 24/7
is this some sort of welsh maths derivitive?naff off you daft bat
everyone knows there's horny as in rabbit-relieving horny and there's 'OMG, I need it right NOW' type horny.
ladies with PMT will know exactly what I mean by that didn't you learn anything in school? :giggle:
:thumbup: - now THAT'S the kind of horny I mean
- the 'fuck me now and keep doing it til i pass out, and if you stop, you'll die' type of hormonal horny 
:thumbup:Feeling especially horny today, with no chance of getting any cos other stuff is taking priority at the moment, I was thinking (and giggling to myself) about Sassy's (??) comments about us fems getting a 'wide on' (:giggle: - that just cracks me up, sorry!)
I mentioned this to someone a couple of weeks ago and apparently its not just me who does the pussy twitch & nostril flaring thing if I see something / someone I find particularly horny :twisted: - but I'm interested in how you lot experience that 'i need it and i need it now' feeling?
and does anyone else have shares in vileda supermop? 
I mentioned this to someone a couple of weeks ago and apparently its not just me who does the pussy twitch & nostril flaring thing if I see something / someone I find particularly horny :twisted: - but I'm interested in how you lot experience that 'i need it and i need it now' feeling?
and does anyone else have shares in vileda supermop?
Quote by Darkfire
this one Dammy?
Dear Members,
We are going to give the list of people going to the Social when people CONFIRM that they still want to attend.
So far around 90 - 100 members have put their name(s) down but Lindaxxx & myself are going to wait till people have confirmed.
The members that will confirm SHALL get a FULL list of fellow members attending in the final PM - that will be give 7 days before the event.
So let's just be 'cool & the gang'.
If you want Lindaxxx, will give you the exact figure as she is in charge of the list....
It will be a BLAST - England might of gone out of pens. AGAIN today but am still standing,
Omar.
as an aside though, I like to see the list BEFORE i confirm / ask for an invite in the first place - as it is often that in itself (aside from money / childcare) which will determine my final confirmation. But hey, i'm not on this list so i'm just being pedantic as usual
this one Dammy?
Quote by Omar The Wünderhorse
Dear Members,
We are going to give the list of people going to the Social when people CONFIRM that they still want to attend.
So far around 90 - 100 members have put their name(s) down but Lindaxxx & myself are going to wait till people have confirmed.
The members that will confirm SHALL get a FULL list of fellow members attending in the final PM - that will be give 7 days before the event.
So let's just be 'cool & the gang'.
If you want Lindaxxx, will give you the exact figure as she is in charge of the list....
It will be a BLAST - England might of gone out of pens. AGAIN today but am still standing,
Omar.
Quote by Darkfire
there seems to be a common denominator appearing through this thread etc,that theres a divide between forum,/ ads and chatroom users,
its been mentioned people who use the ads section are ungenuine,people in the chatrooms are the quick shag bridgade and the people in the forum are the genuine swingers, perhaps a poll is needed to find if this is correct, surely you're not trying to impose an ads / a forum all swinging heaven has given us the 3 mediums to find what we are all searching for.
*copying and pasting from my pm box, i'll be back in a minute, just for clarification of exactly what I said *
is there a division between people who go on the forum /chatrooms/ and photo ads?
There has always been a form of divide - but purely due to the way 'swinging' is appraoched I think - forum is more social, ads are more shag-and go with a heavy hint of single males who dont swing, they shag. In my head there;s a big difference in the mentality & approach to recreational sex with others - some people agree with that point, others dont. There has alwyas been a divide of sorts between chatroom and forum - but again, purely because we move in different circles and don’t know/associate with each other - and now with the proliferation of 'chatroom socials', that's only going to get worse, in my opinion. Munches and socials have always been the times and places where people do mix and meet each other and make friends and prospective play partners etc, between chatroom and forum.
are you suggesting we keep these different catogary of people seperate,
Fuck no! I rarely use chatroom, but from what I know of the forum, it is usually 'site regulars' who organise Munches and Socials - and it just tends to be people from the forum - again i think, because of the social emphasis of the forum itself. Far from trying to create a divide, chatroomers are and always have been welcome at Munches and socials, we try to heal the divide not create it!
Much of the issue in that thread, imo, are because recently, chatroomers are organising their own socials - the guestlists are primarily chatroomers who most of 'us lot' have never heard of. We dont know the organisers either - hence then makes it very difficult to ascertain whether the organiser knows what they're doing, who the hell are these people on the list, and most importantly, are we safe. Many won’t take the risk - therefore chatroom organised socials are attended by chatroomers only - and that's where the divide comes in. What we have now, a trend that's started very recently, is that munches and socials organised by forum people will be attended by forum people - and chatroom socials are attended only by chatroom people (with perhaps a couple of exceptions either way. In my opinion it is exactly that which is creating the divide.
were trying to increase the swingers activity in XXXX and keep coming across threads trying to stop it .
I've noticed that - but, alienating the forum people isnt going to help. I'm not talking about you specifically - there are loads more examples - the black on white (is a chatroom meet).... the BBW social (is a chatroom meet) . I havent noticed any particular threads to 'stop' them though (but feel free to point them out)
why / after all on the lets meet section it clearly states a social only has 2 rules 1, no banned members allowed plus dont tell a banned member about any s.h events, no wonder were getting an 8 page thread on a few simple rules.
its not about rules (although personally, i'd like to see one that says socials cannot be advertised in the adverts section) per se, its about the correct use of terminology. It wasnt just your previous social thread that kicked this whole thing off - its because recently, for reasons you'll have read in the thread - the defining lines between what is a Munch, a social and a party have become very blurred - and its time to chalk out those lines again so that when people put their name on the list they know what they're getting into- thats all.
no matter how people word the event no one should have expectations beyond a chat and drink with likeminded people at a social.
then why advertise it in the ads section, where you know full well there are people who are very ungenuine, people who will jump at the opportunity to get into a room full of women who (in their mind) are 'up for it' and an easy lay?
(with permission from Cockslut)
