the poor lad 
this one's mine :twisted:
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Darkfire
Over 90 days ago
Bisexual Female, 50
0 miles · Greater London
Forum
Quote by phil_osopher
You are talking about blokes here, aren't you?
A bloke is a bloke. You know - genetically designed to think about shagging every 15 minutes? That kind of bloke?
If you want to swing with someone and then to talk about shopping over a cup of coffee, I'd suggest lesbianism... :twisted:
No hun, I'm not.
In general I was talking about *some* couples, but it applies to singles too - male and female, especially the speculative flirting with anything that moves.
My issue with single blokes specifically is a whole different ball game, and another thread
and as for lesbianism - advice not needed luv, I'm probably 75% there already :twisted:
Quote by dambuster
Hmmmm :confused:
That's just prompted another question in my mind, based on some of the site changes.
I used to value the difference between "Replying to Photo Ads" and the PM system. They were two very different methods of contact.
I'm guessing that the worst aspect of the whole single fems (note that lack if "bi") feeling as though they are being treated as a piece of meat, is in the actual playing, or face to face meets.
But how much of the problem is the . . . . . . . . . .(struggling for a name) "internal mail" they receive here.
How much of it is down to badly written/phrased responses/profiles/ads ? After all - it's very easy to create misunderstandings and misinterpretations in the written word, regardless of use of smileycons, punctuation and the like.
Replies to ads/ pm's from people who obviously havent read my ad/ posts correctly are an just an 'annoyance' I guess , but that's the beauty of the delete button!
.For me, it's not generally how pm's & replies are worded (although the generic pm and blanket coverage thing drives me mad) , its actually people's attitudes face to face, its in the way they approach you , and particularly what happens after you've played and the incessant flirting with anyone who'll pay attention that's done with the intention of 'getting a shag' (not entertainingly funny flirting , before Dammy gets the hump
) that really causes me a problem. That, and the misinterpretation of what 'coffee' means. 
The 'internal mail' system just backs up how things are face to face.
Quote by dambuster
The last thing I'd want to see is half a dozen people wandering round snapping away, willy nilly. And I can see that if we didn't at least address the topic, that could happen. In fact, we might already have started down that road judging by the last couple of munches I've been to.
A possible answer ? I would see that as inappropriate behaviour and would look to the munch organisers, the "long standing respected members" and yes even Mods and Ops to deal with it in the same way as any inappropriate behaviour.
In closing, and summary .....................
In my HUMBLE opinion (really)
I thinks it was/is good to air and discuss the topic, but I believe the answer to be somewhere between "letting sleeping dogs lie", and it's a very good "timely reminder"
Although I dont agree with some aspects of what you've said Dammy ( & specifically the idea from over the road that 'if being 'outed' as a result of photo's taken is of so much detriment to carreer/family then perhaps 'we' shouldnt be attending these events in the first place' - and yes, I know it wasnt you who said it originally, but you did say it here:
If it's THAT big a risk or issue to your "real lives" - should you not reconsider your involvement ?- I'm using that to emphasise my point) - what I do agree with wholeheartedly is this bit above.
For the last couple of munches I've been to, the 'rules' have been very slack over the bringing and use of cameras, and unless it is 'reigned in' (as opposed to stopped altogether) then it is perhaps only a trend that will continue. I too (albeit guilty of taking pics at the weekend so this is somehwat hypocrytical) do not want to see people 'snapping away willy nilly' become the norm - and although I dont agree with the 'risk assessment' sentiments in principal, staying away from Munches is probably exactly what I'd do.
Quote by Darkfire
One thing that does and always did, get my back right up was when people (doesn't matter whether it was singles or couples) said what they thought you wanted to hear in order to lure you into their lair. ....
For this reason, as a single bifemale, I stopped actively look for encounters with couples and 'single' females, taking a more relaxed approach where they'd come and find me if they were interested.
Its only 3 or 4 weeks ago that I came to that same decision :shock:
Phil_osopher wrote:
It's not sbf's fault, but they are objectified and treated as a commodity. But this can be overcome - it's up to sbf's to go looking for the people they want to interact with, rather than wait for emails and PMs and other types of contact. sbf's can take control of their own contacts with other singles and couples (just as Sheena has done) by looking for the people they want to meet, rather than just wading through the inbox and replying to people who take their fancy.
Oh god, dont tell me I need to have another rethink!!
:doh: you just did, didnt you
:eeek:
Quote by Pete_sw
Right just back from washing up, (and thats bloody womens work) and looked thru the thread and the flag thing.
I think they should do away with the flag of St George ( he wasnt even English) and the union Jack for that matter and get somthing more multi culturol, Somthing with a bit of green and yellow, with a hint of black added.
That would look great in your garden.
I am now going to stop feeding the TROLL
:thumbup:
:gagged:
i am, for once, going to bite my tongue, let this one whoosh straight over my head and not say another fluckin word
Quote by Versace Vase
Oh and those bloody England flags, well ok if you need to let them flutter, wait until the world cup, but no they just put the bloody things up a month early, and what really makes my blood boil is when you see them still on the cars 6 montrhs latter all ripped and gruby.
Perhaps people put em up early because its English people's way of seizing an opportunity to display a little national pride without fear of reprisals from the politically correct local councils or police?
Quote by little gem
One thing that does and always did, get my back right up was when people (doesn't matter whether it was singles or couples) said what they thought you wanted to hear in order to lure you into their lair. ....
For this reason, as a single bifemale, I stopped actively look for encounters with couples and 'single' females, taking a more relaxed approach where they'd come and find me if they were interested.
Its only 3 or 4 weeks ago that I came to that same decision :shock:
The interesting bit is how many people you thought were friends don't actually notice when you have a break from the scene and how many stop talking to you when you're not swinging or declare couple status.
Are you flucking psychic or what?? :shock:
I like discussions like this one too - its frank, its honest, open and hasnt yer turned into a slanging match/ heated debate ( :shock: )
but, i was thinking about this again today at work, and Gem I think you're in my head, because you've just posted EXACTLY what I'd planned to post :shock: :shock: :shock:
well, at least I know it isnt me! :idea: I'm not the only one :happy:
Quote by makingcocoa
It's the connection with the couple that matters most to me - the way I see it is that you're being invited to share a part of a relationship, perhaps only a small part and only temporarily, but that relationship has to be one you like and admire and respect, in the same way that you would only sleep with a single person you liked / admired / respected.
Cocoa x
and in the same breath, you'd hope that someone would only play with you because they like/ admire/ respect you - and not just because your single, you're swing both ways and you're female
In edit : I've just re-read that, and it is one of my big 'gripes' about the lifestyle, because I'm now sat here waiting for someone of the other school of thought to come and flame me for not wanting a quick shag, for wanting to know people's names before I play with them, for going to somewhere like Chams simply cos I want to, not because i'm there to use the playrooms, and for not spreading my legs at every available opportunity, ya know?
In fact, its exactly this difference in the way some people think about 'swinging' that often makes me wonder if I truly am a 'swinger' - the great 'predominantly social side vs nsa shag' debate
Maybe I'm just too damn picky/ expect too much/ have too high an 'expectation' of what 'swinging' is to truly experience 'swinging' as others see it? Quote by sexkittenhfx
i was just sitting here, contemplating my illusive and superior status....(yeh right......)
so i wondered....what exactly do you want in a single bi female?
its just a discussion point.....afterall....were forever discussing what single men need to do to improve their chances....so why not turn it around?
I'm bumping this bit of the original post, cos now I'm really interested in what people think
and Morb, you are banned from answering
I propose we hereby ban Morbius from this thread for the duration of the exams - not because you dont raise vaild points and make interesting posts - but for your own bloody good.
I dont disagree with anything you've siad luv, but it is my oppinion that finding people who can identify with such personal posts as ours is a rareity .
Now sod off and do your revision!!!
- not because you dont raise vaild points and make interesting posts - but for your own bloody good. I dont disagree with anything you've siad luv, but it is my oppinion that finding people who can identify with such personal posts as ours is a rareity .
Now sod off and do your revision!!!
How come there's no 'newbies' in this thread??
I'd be interested to hear what those who are new to munches think about cameras being there.... and about having their pics taken, even if it is 'just socially' ? Is it offputting? does it add to the nerves? would it make you uncomfortable?
and particularly when we're on about the 'official photographer' idea - its all very well for 'us' who willknow the person who takes on this honour if it happens... but 'noobs' wont, so , any thooughts???:
I'd be interested to hear what those who are new to munches think about cameras being there.... and about having their pics taken, even if it is 'just socially' ? Is it offputting? does it add to the nerves? would it make you uncomfortable?
and particularly when we're on about the 'official photographer' idea - its all very well for 'us' who willknow the person who takes on this honour if it happens... but 'noobs' wont, so , any thooughts???
: 