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FredFlintstone
Over 90 days ago
Straight Male, 62
Bisexual Female, 58
UK
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FredFlintstone
Sex God
I see DJohn is still burbbling in the corner - can someone please fix him some more coffee please - Jags is gonna have a dicky fit if he is still in this condition when she gets back......
Oh - and get some breath mints for him - stops you in your tracks at 20 paces - mixture of Meths and old Pizza - and is that green sheeps wool in the corner of his mouth? FFS - keep him away from anything that looks remotely edible when he is this drunk. rolleyes :roll:
:shock: Blimey :shock: - This room changed colour bloody quick - much better, what we need is some nice blackout curtains at the windows now and we are cooking on gas - well, cooking on DJohns farts at least! confused
Where is Sarge now? - If someone tells me that is him upstairs plastering and whistling "Two Little Boys" I am gonna do my crunch!
And WHAT the HELL is this? - I just went to sit down on that green wooly stool and the f**cking thing walked out from under me - I am beginning to think the fumes off the paint are going to my head............... :? AND my arse is covered in green paint as well - cool! 8)
Glad to see the old telly and equipment is finally gone - I loved the new flowers and all that stuck over the outside - bet the girlies loved that...
Yeeeehaaaaaaaaa - Hey have you lot seen the new telly an all this kit - blimey - enough power in that lot to blow the windows out tthe BFZ let alone the GFZ. Don't tell me that that is the speaker cable - it looks like bloody overhead wires to me - I'll bet that was Stu who picked that lot up - is there a small village without power somewhere now? :shock: :shock:
I love this new remote Carpy - nice touch that it needs a pin code before you operate it - that will stop the girlies being able to change channel. :twisted: :twisted:
SKY + as well - GREAT! - How the hell did we wangle that? 8)
Where the hell is all the bathroom furniture - we need to get the bog in quite fast the lawn out the back is looking a little yellow at the moment - d'ya reckon we have killed it off? redface surprisedops:
I need to see how Sarge is getting on - catch you later!
Fred
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FredFlintstone
Sex God
Arti!
Arti!
ARTI!
Shit - He has only gone and put Fly's collar on Alex's fake fur coat and taken it for a bloody walk - the girlies have kidnapped Fly and are gonna kill the poor dog by giving him a bath and the moans from Alex when Arti comes back with the coat having dragged it five miles round the fields will take weeks to subside.................
What has everyone been drinking? confused :? :?
Love the disguise Sarge - but did you really feel that the stockings and suspenders add to the disguise or is that just a personal thing? :shock: :shock:
:doh: :doh: :doh: :doh: :doh:
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FredFlintstone
Sex God
Quote by DJohn
Who organised the guest list for this party? There are a few new faces here.
It's Jake the Peg! Forget the 9 inches girls, this guy has three feet.
But what's this? Following close behind are two young men (the bouncer won't let the two little boys in) with two little toys. We'll save those for later, lads. Don't want to get the ladies too excited too early.
Now if you want to take some pictures of the titilating misses who put the agitating wishes in the thinking of the men who write the postings that are aiming for the favours of the ladies of the cafe of the forum of Swinging Heaven... you're just in time. The party has started early.

Will someone take the bottle of thinners off him and clean his glasses - the guy is completely out of it......
Jags is gonna slap you so hard if you don't sober up and sort yourself out by tonight DJohn...... :doh:
COFFEEEEEE!!!! and fast....
Will someone see if Kat is sober yet - we need a pow-wow!
Fred
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FredFlintstone
Sex God
FFS!
FFS!
FFS!
Sarge
STOP!
OMG what the hell are we gonna do now - where the hell did you get that bloody lot from - we said anything in grey or drab green - but THIS! :doh: :doh: :doh: :doh:
Do you do any DIY at home by any chance - If so remind me not to come round for tea without a hardhat .... confused :?
I thought it was odd when I was coming in and Fly walked past me with what looked like orange boots on - I thought Arti was training him to be a bloody fire dog.............. :?
Talking of which - when I walked in did I see MrsFC still chained to that floral sofa outside still? :shock: :shock:
Don't tell me nobody let her go last night??????? rolleyes :roll:
And I really think that when she wakes up and finds the Sarge has planted a Heebee between her legs and put a note on her chest saying "nice bush" she is gonna go completely wappy! Especially when she sees her frizzy hair...... She will never get that ready for the party tonight...... :roll: :roll:
Sarge - go get rid of this bloody paint now. Find something else and get double - this stuff is gonna take some covering................ :cry: :cry:
Is someone gonna put some bacon on - I need summat in my stomach to calm me nerves after looking at this colour........
Now, Who is gonna skim the plasterboard upstairs today - I won't touch it - horrid job - and if you so much as put a finger in the air to volunteer Sarge I will break your knuckles - just sort the paint out. wink :wink:
FFS!
FFS!
FFS!
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FredFlintstone
Sex God
RedHot,
Gmanxxx decided to abuse a forum member some days ago and as a consequence his account was deactivated and all of his posts are being removed.
He is no longer welcome on this site.
Hope this helps, nuff said?
Regards,
Fred
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FredFlintstone
Sex God
As one of the senior Sysops for the chat room you may PM me with any complaint you may have and I will request room logs from the op concerned as all Sysops run full logs of both room chat and private conversations.
Alternatively you may discuss the complaint with the Sysop concerned.
Other than that there is no point discussing vague open ended comments in open forum.
Regards
Fred
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FredFlintstone
Sex God
MrFC - you are going to have to go with him - he would probably give his real name and address.
If she wont pay £200 Sarge - knock 'em out for £100 - just get rid - and sweep up the bloody mud as well - dead giveaway.
Whatever you get for the plants - go buy some new specs FFS!
Oh- and take a car of some sort - I can just see the staff at B&Q saying - "He drove off in a tank Officer" :doh: :doh:
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FredFlintstone
Sex God
Quote by Sgt Bilko
Right, let's unload this truck. What have I got here?? Tulips, Daffodils, Yuccas, Rose Bush, Geraniums and Spider Plants. That should do the trick!! smile :) :)
Fred...... Fred ...... I'm back. I've brought the green plants you asked for. Where are we putting them???
(I still think it was strange that Fred asked me to get some green plants) confused :? :?

OH FFS!
Sarge!
PAINT YOU PLONKER!
:doh: :doh: :doh: :doh: :doh: :doh: :doh: :doh: :doh: :doh:
Where the hell did you dig this lot up from? :shock: :shock:
Take it all back - every last bush and shrub!
Go on!
OMG!
MrFC help him load his tank again - this is a god awful mess!
Aaaarrrggggggggghhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh!!!!!!!! mad :x :x :x :x :x
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FredFlintstone
Sex God
Quote by RestlessNative
Stuart & his better half!

Not wrong there mate! wink :wink: :wink: :wink: Phwoooaaarrrrrrr!
Welcome......... good to see you!
Fred
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FredFlintstone
Sex God
Coooo - F**K ME them sofa's don't half "Pen & Ink"!
MrFC - just had a call from the local cop shop - seems there is an old dear moaning about being carried out of her house on her sofa and dumped in the street. Can you get down there and see if it was one of our lot.
It was 32 Arbuthnot STREET you collected those Sofa's from wasn't it Arti? rolleyes :roll:
Right Helen - for god sakes go and put some cream on yer arse looks sore - HOW many bottles did you open in two minutes? :shock: :shock:
Arti - do me a favour - Get Fly to go and shag someone elses legs - this stud partitioning is taking on the shape of a bloody zigzag!
Are we winning and where the HELL is Sarge?
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FredFlintstone
Sex God
Right - the stairs are in place.......
Who the hell let Jags loose and why is she in the skip taking all those cock pics out? rolleyes :roll: :roll: Someone grab her out of there and set light to the rubbish before she becomes a "bag lady" for gods sake! :shock:
If you use the stairs, step over the plate on the bottom stair - I am just off to talk to Alex about "playing" with mens tools - she really should be more careful - it is quite obvious that one has gone off in her hand! confused :?
Mrs FC - guess you will have to make use of the BFZ for the party this weekend - expect us all along tomorrow night around 7 - hope you have laid on grub and beer - we are going to need it. Also we will all be in work clothes and covered in paint but if I promise to do "The Full Monty" for some poor unfortunate then does that mean we are allowed in? Anyway - we don't want your mess in our nice new GFZ - we are the only ones allowed to make a mess in here!
We are missing a few of the guys - Arti, Sarge, Brumlad, Will and MrFC - anyone know where they are - we are getting to the point of filling all the holes in the walls now and putting up the room partitions?
Helen - do me a favour hun - remove the bottle tops from the crack of yer arse when you have opened them - you are beginning to sound like a pair of Maracas and it is distracting me.
Can someone tell me if this piece of wood looks level beforwe I nail it in place?
TDS - if MrsFC falls down drunk - use yer fingers - pick her up like a bowling ball and put her out on the sofa that Jags was tied to..........
While your at it - do the click test on her..........
The click test?
Finger up her arse - thumb up her fanny - if you can click yer fingers - she is rotten right through! rotflmao :rotflmao: :rotflmao: :rotflmao: :rotflmao:
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FredFlintstone
Sex God
Quote by Herts Man
Surely if caused by the bacon fat the blotches would be porky scratchies? confused

rotflmao :rotflmao: :rotflmao: :rotflmao: :rotflmao: :rotflmao: :rotflmao:
Will someone please go out to the carpark where Jags is tied to the floral sofa we lifted out and see if she wants a bacon buttie and a cup of tea please..........
Alex - the next time you brig me a beer with the top on I will use the cheeks of yer arse to open the bloody thing! :twisted: :twisted: :twisted:
And who the F**K nailed my plate to the bottom step of the stairs? - I dropped me bacon roll on the floor!
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FredFlintstone
Sex God
Bacon buttie - hold the egg - brown sauce.
Black Tea one sugar please.
Need a hand lifting the stairs into place please. Come on lads - the girlies were moaning about splinters!
Will someone help Kit open that bloody Yorkie - she has done no work for 10 bloody minutes........
Alex - turn the heat down - the bacon fat is making your skin all blotchy and not very attractive - looks like you have a nasty case of the itchy scratchies! rolleyes :roll:
If that fop Larry Bowen turns up you have my permission to kick him round the block.......
Why is the beer warm Kat....
Kat......
Kat...
What happened to him??????
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FredFlintstone
Sex God
Quote by Jags
I STILL haven't forgiven you Caveman for Jag's Corner!!

Did anyone else hear that whimpering noise ????????????
No - oh well - back to work everyone - hole in the wall is done - need some girlies to clear some rubble away....
WHERE THE BLOODY HELL IS MY CUP OF TEA MISSCHIEF Come on woman - keep up.
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FredFlintstone
Sex God
Right - executive decision - NO PINK TOILET SEAT!
This is a GFZ- be grateul you have a toilet seat at all..........
Someone needs to add a wipeboard for jokes in the toilet to their shoplifting - er shopping - list please....... wink :wink:
Will someone help to carry Jags out of her old room - she is just sitting in a corner clutching cock pics to her busom and rocking........ it's embarrasing really rolleyes :roll:
Where the bloody hell is the Sarge.......
Carpi - check with Arti if the dog will object to being tied up and if he agrees you had better get the eyebolt for Misschief - thanks for agreeing to share her! :wink: :wink: True "lads" spirit that!
Fred
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FredFlintstone
Sex God
Alright - which of you bloody jokers bloody superglued my bloody tea mug on bloody top of the bloody telly? mad :x :x :x
I pulled the handle and it broke off.........
I had to drink the rest of me tea with a straw....
I have chipped most of the china off but there is still the base of the mug stuck on there.....
How the hell can we sell it to the girlies for the BFZ NOW? rolleyes :roll:
Fred
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FredFlintstone
Sex God
http://www.swingingheaven.co.uk/humour/wi/Sign.gif
Refurbishment of the GFZ
http://www.swingingheaven.co.uk/humour/wi/Bull.gif
It has been some time since the GFZ underwent change but the time is now upon us for a major refurbishment.
First of all the Jacuzzi just simply cannot remain where it is as people are complaining that not only can they not see the telly but also that certain members of the GFZ have been seen to be using it as a urinal late at night whilst under the influence. rolleyes
After scouting round a great discovery was made. The room next door to the GFZ was in fact the room where Jags had been storing all the deleted ads in order to keep hold of all the cock pics and she was in fact visiting on a daily basis. The only way we were able to prove that it was Jags was because a DNA analysis of the puddles of dribble (We think it was dribble!) proved it was hers. Also close examination of it under a microscope also revealed it had a tartan pattern – clearly identifiable as the McDougall tartan because it had little men in bowler hats all covered in flour. wink :wink:
So after removing some 18,000 adverts we realised that the space was big enough to put the Pool Table in as well as moving the old staircase from the main room. This then meant that the space upstairs could be used to create a shower and toilet room, a Jacuzzi area and a couple of bedrooms for members to use as they see fit.
At that point it was realised that a major refurbishment had to take place in order to rebuild the Bar, fit an archway through to what will now be called the “Jags Cock” room, move the stairs, build the rooms upstairs and redecorate in a suitable colour scheme and refurnish the rooms.
An analysis of available funds revealed that a staggering amount of money was in the kitty (No relation to Kit or Kat). Some £12,000 was available. This was due in part to the profit on the gaming machines and the habit of setting the payout level to less than 10% when the girlies were in but also because the new machine called “Find the Clit” had a 1 in 2 million chance of paying out. The second addition to the funds were because some months ago Sarge had found a way of getting into the liquor store of the BFZ and we have gradually removed all of their stock of booze and then sold it back to them, at greatly inflated prices, when they invaded the GFZ.
It was quickly decided that £9,000 was NEEDED to buy the new 60” Plasma TV panel and associated sound system to mount on the wall. This does away with the old remote which Jags has hold of still and also means we can shut the secret door she had installed as well. This has left only £3,000 for the rest of the work.
£1,000 was needed for the alcohol and food necessary to sustain all the MEN helping out in the refurbishment. lol :lol:
£800 was needed for all of the Timber, worktops, cupboards, sink and optics to build the new Bar.
£800 was needed for the beds and satin sheets in the 2 bedrooms. :wink: :wink:
This leaves £400 for materials, paint, furniture, bathroom fittings etc.
So – this is the challenge:
We have 1 weekend to work our socks off to get it all finished.
Here are the Plans:
http://www.swingingheaven.co.uk/humour/wi/GFZ1.jpg
The Ground Floor
http://www.swingingheaven.co.uk/humour/wi/GFZ2.jpg
The First Floor
Sarge– as a person of infinite means (OK, we said you were tight as arseholes!) you are charged with going off and sorting out the paint and fittings. Your budget is £50. Beg, steal, borrow indefinitely – whatever. A discussion of whether we wanted Grey (Tank) paint or Camouflage (Hanger) Green on the walls came to no consensus of opinion, so you have free reign on that. Just remember Peach is not a colour it is a fruit and we men only see in 8 colours man!
Will - You have £100 to find a toilet, shower, wash hand basin and one of them foot wash thingumies for the shower room and all the plumbing kit to go with it. The toilet does not need to have a seat as the only girlies that will be allowed in will have to sign to say they will not moan about the lack of a toilet seat (or will put it back up if there is one fitted) when they have finished using the lavvie.
Arti– As you have a tractor and flatbed you have £150 to furnish the lot. Old Mrs Mabel Archesthorpe in the village here has 2 old brown leather sofa’s with collapsed springs at one end and the leather all cracked on one seat where her incontinent cat laid for a year before it died. Other than that it is in good nick and is so comfortable to lay on. It has the added advantage that full height Stella cans stand upright so we can shove the empties under it and not have to get up or trip over them. We can have ‘em both for a tenner. You need Bar stools, coffee table, bedside tables (for the durex, lube and toys), card table and chairs, a cabinet to put the DVD, SAT, VID, AMP in and storage of some sort with a lock on that we can put all our DVD and Video porno in. Don’t waste money on bins but if you can get a cheap Henry Hoover it will make the girlies life easier as the push along carpet beater ‘aint much cop anymore.
SteveG - You have £100 for the dishwasher and 2 fridges for behind the bar. If you have to drop something then forget the dishwasher, it was only to help the girlies out anyway so is not too important.
Brumlad - You have a budget of zip, diddly squat, fuck-all squared, to find all the glasses you need to stock the bar and things like bottle openers, corkscrews etc.
Mal – See if you can scout round any of the other little used rooms and find some carpets or rugs we can put down on the floors. Take Djohn with you as he can open most locked doors with his left shoulder! While your at it nick some towels from somewhere, I hear from Fran that they nicked some nice fluffy ones from the local Travel Inn last time they were there! Stu says don’t bother with the Bathrobes though as the one he nicked fell apart inside 2 months.
Carpi – Grab Stu (of the Fran & Stu variety) and sort out the sound system and the new TV. What he don’t know about speakers and hi-fi ‘aint worth knowing (trust me, I have been lost to his drone about speaker cable resistance many a time!). He will tell you what kit you need to get. Unfortunately you may need to “lift” some of the stuff as the budget you have is £9000 and we reckon you will need most of that for the TV unless you can get hold of “Dave’s Dodgy Deals” and see if he can lay his hands on a “warm” TV. Remember nothing less than 60” for the screen though.
Kat and I will work away moving the staircase to start with and knocking through the wall – If anyone goes past a building site and can “lift” any tools and materials that would be a great help.
MrFC – You are on standby just in case anyone gets nicked when you can go down with what is left in the petty cash tin and use your “Get out of Jail Free” card to spring them.
Girlies, you need to be around to serve drinks, fetch and carry, make bacon cobs, clean up and just hold tools for all the men. Some words of advice though – Any surface that is shiny and glass smooth is WET. You do not need to touch it to prove me wrong otherwise next to the fingerprints you leave behind will be a nice print of your face. Secondly please be careful when handling power tools – they are dangerous. Don’t push any buttons on them or move anything that moves – it was probably set to do a certain thing and you will be blamed for the hole being in the wrong place – too deep – too big!
Fran – can you put on your nice pinnie (and nothing else!) and make a large one of them fabulous 22,000 calorie choccie cakes please?
You will note that there is on the plans a set of cages built for visiting livestock. Arti has booked it for the ferrets for the first 3 weeks just to combat the smell of new paint and wood. There is also a dog basket under the stairs for any mutts that come along. Misschief’s request to have an eye bolt to chain them too after her last escapade in here has been refused as being unnecessary expenditure.
Post all progress reports here over the course of the weekend and hopefully we will all meet up in the finished rooms on Sunday night.
Girlies – if you insist on having a Yorkie from the fridge – please ask one of the men to open it for you and don’t try and show off and break a nail opening it – you will only embarrass yourselves.
I'm back!
Sarge - hand out the hard hats and flak jackets now!
Fred
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FredFlintstone
Sex God
Bloody Hell!
Didn't realise I had actually unlocked it! redface
Fuckity Fuck (copyright Jags 2003/2004) - can't seen to even get that right now!
It is definitely locked now - unless I am going stupid!
Night!
Fred
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FredFlintstone
Sex God
I have watched this topic grow and grow over the days and had many an email and PM talking about the good on this site.
I have also seen responses from some which I would say were typical of the people - not just the indifferent ones but the people who felt strongly on the issue.
I have unlocked the thread because I wanted to post one last time in this thread. Please note I am not saying I am posting one last time!
I am not going to comment on all the words of encouragement. When I made the original posting I was not saying I was leaving I was saying that if you don't like the job I do I will hang up my boots. I was also saying that I wanted no part of modding because at this time because of all the bitching that was going on - and it seemed to continue for certain people - so be it.
What it did show me though was that people did not realise the work that goes into modding such a busy site and I have to say i have felt guilty not doing my bit with the other busy mods for a week. I take my hat off to those who stepped forwards and offered to help - either in a PM to me or to Mark. It showed that there are others willing to put their shoulders to the wheel when needed. However I was not surprised at those that did offer.
There were some things that saddened me in some of the postings and maybe that will heal in time. There were also some words of encouragement from people who do not even know me.
One comment I got was - "So what was it like then" and this set me off on a quest to trawl the old pages to find some of the better threads that kept me amused. I shared those threads with that particular young lady who then pm'ed me to say she had spent 90 minutes wetting herself reading them. (Thats a new chair I owe you hun!)
I then thought that maybe some of the newer members should see what was posted in those threads to see the complete madness that we all got involved in and without anyone taking real offence.
However I also found threads that were really serious - which did get heavy at times and nearly come to blows but never quite did.
So here you go - for all the newer members who perhaps did not understand what I meant about the madness of old - have a gander at some of the threads below.
I am going to relock this thread as there is nothing more to say - but when I reread some of these old threads I admit I was laughing a lot as well - especially at poor old Will - I love the man dearly but you just have to laugh at the stupid scraps we always got into!
Will - I owe you a beer for restoring my laugh!
To the young lady who sent me on the crusade to prove to her that things were better - you will get a big wet girlie kiss on the bottom when I meet you for the first time - you deserve it. Thank you!
To all my friends out there - a big thanks for all the messages of support - it meant a lot.
And which silly bugger started that thread that seems to have gone on forever about the piss taking of Avatars? - Oh it was Wilma! - nice thread hun - restores the faith a little! xx
Hugs for those that want them - a fart in the general direction of those that don't!
Fred
XXXXXXX
___________________________________
The kick that started the fight in the first place
http://www.swingingheaven.co.uk/swingers-forum/viewtopic/4338.html
The poll Wilma started to get me sexually mutilated
http://www.swingingheaven.co.uk/swingers-forum/viewtopic/4436.html
Another poll from someone trying to help me, but made it worse
http://www.swingingheaven.co.uk/swingers-forum/viewtopic/4440.html
Diary of a condemned man (I have far too much time on my hands!)
http://www.swingingheaven.co.uk/swingers-forum/viewtopic/4491.html
One of many fights for the attention of the delightful Sappho
http://www.swingingheaven.co.uk/swingers-forum/viewtopic/4487.html
Serious swinging debate that got heated
http://www.swingingheaven.co.uk/swingers-forum/viewtopic/5460.html
How to place an ad and not get 2000 emails!
http://www.swingingheaven.co.uk/swingers-forum/viewtopic/4614.html
Jerry Swinger Web Page when it was first posted
http://www.swingingheaven.co.uk/swingers-forum/viewtopic/5230.html
Our Web Page when we updated it
http://www.swingingheaven.co.uk/swingers-forum/viewtopic/5319.html
View Post
FredFlintstone
Sex God
The alternatives are quite funny at times!
I met a lovely lady when I was a ski instructor many years ago in my youth! I went to meet her when I got home, and she was living at home with her parents in this fabulous house with a swimming pool, walk in fireplaces and 20ft ceilings! Her parents went to bed that evening a few hours after we had met and this was the conversation....
"Where am I sleeping?"
"In my bed"
"Where are you sleeping?"
"In my bed"
"Do your parents know?"
"No"
"Won't they be upset to find a guy they just met in bed with their daughter?"
"Don't know"
"I think they will - I will sleep down here - I have my sleeping bag in the car"
"Wait a minute"
5 minutes go by.......
"It's OK - I went and woke mum and asked her if it would be OK for you to sleep with me and she said yes"
Can you imagine how uncomfortable I felt at breakfast Sunday morning when her mum asked us if we slept well and her father winked at me? redface surprisedops: :oops: :oops:
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FredFlintstone
Sex God
I’m back
For all those that sent me well wishes when I was so poorly I thank you! smile :)
I have gradually got better – still 4lb lighter – no complaints on that front! 8)
However, I have been visiting the forum on and off for about a week now and have decided to leave it all well alone for now.
I feel I should explain why.
As you are all aware the recent influx of people to do with the Stan Collymore incident left the site very bashed and bruised. Not only here in the forum but also in the chat room. During a three or four day period I spent more hours than I care to imagine helping to mod both the forum and help the other Ops in the chatroom by posting special bans etc to keep all the numpties out. By the time I had finished, sometimes at 2 or 3 in the morning, I was skullfucked – literally.
I will only speak for myself but as a user of this site I did not exist. I could not post in my usual way because I was taking threatening emails, helping people, policing ads and threads like it was going out of fashion.
After that I had to take some time out to restore balance to my “real” life outside of the cyber world and I then fell ill.
I then visited the forum and saw things which made me feel like I did not want to contribute. The last couple of days have just reinforced that feeling. It has made me realise that there is a serious problem here because people think that the mods are heavy handed, cliquey etc.
I take offence to that.
Not because I feel that those comments are aimed at me, but because it devalues the work that every single mod does to keep this site going. It then also devalues the effort Mark puts into keeping this site going because I know it is the most popular swinging site out there and takes huge effort and cost to keep running and Mark and Helen do that for the benefit of the swinging community. You guys!
So how does this affect me?
Well, for one I personally feel hurt by the comments that have been made – irrespective of whether they were aimed at me or not – they still say that there is a problem with how the site is moderated. What many of you fail to see is the sheer amount of unseen work going on behind the scenes where mods spend half their lives asking other mods and forum users if they have been too harsh or “what shall I do?” type comments.
We were approached to do this job, we do it freely and willingly because we wish to see a site which is fair and fun. To those of you who have stuck your comments in about cliques and bad modding – STEP UP and have a go!
It is always the case in any environment that there are those that do, and those that don’t and those that permanently moan and snipe. Tell you what – I’ll stop doing, (I guess some of the other mods feel the same way), and we will all see how long it takes for members to start leaving in droves because the site will descend into chaos and anarchy. If that is what you want – then fine – go find someone to host it and run it for you, and don’t let the door hit you too hard on the arse as you leave.
For those of you who remain – volunteer. Take over the reigns – because I know I will gladly give them up here and now and become just a site user. I would much rather spend my time trawling the ads and the pm’s talking to people we want to meet and inviting them to our parties whenever we have them.
How many of you have ever contacted me to say “hi – like the ad – like the web page – me and the missus wanna meet you”?
How many of you have contacted me to say “I need help – can you sort this – what did I do wrong”?
How many of you have had messages from me trying to help – new avatars – posting ads – creating web pages – running the WI page etc?
The number of help emails, PM's etc outnumber the "Lets meet" by a factor of about 8 to 1.
People see me as a mod first and a swinger second - (Maybe I am just an ugly fuck!)
In short – I don’t like what has become of this forum – I don’t like the way certain people have treated it – I don’t like the way people have decided they wanna have a pop and criticise but offer nothing as an alternative OR HAVE OFFERED TO HELP.
Not once in the last few days have those that have bitched and sniped said that they can offer an alternative or have said hey will help - I wonder why?
Put up – or shut up I say......
Until then – I will let you all get on with it – I want no part of it.
Before any of you accuse me of speaking to any other mod, or Mark I will tell you now – apart from a personal email from one person asking me how I have been I have not spoken by phone, email, or PM with a single member of this forum. I do not lie or play politics – I say as I see.
Mark – do me a favour – if people request it of you, and say I have been unfair, badly behaved or unjust – hang up my boots for me please. I would love the freedom to roam the site free of fetters and to be able to sit in judgement of all the new Mods you will be appointing!
By the way - anything I say in reply to this thread is a personal comment - not done as a mod. Therefore if you wanna have a go at me or abuse me for what I have said as a personal opinion I will make no apology for my response.
If you have something to say to me - say it! If you do it in public I will respond the same way - just have the courage to say it to my face!
Ask yourselves this - where have all the regular contributors gone?
Where are the fun days of me being locked up in pink fluffy handcuffs for taking on the girls with the aid of only SteveG one weekend in the GFZ?
Where has all the humour gone - or have we all had "sense of humour" bypasses?
This is a virtual environment where we all have virtual friends - until we meet them!
Fred
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FredFlintstone
Sex God
Phaaaarrrrrpppppp!
Ahem! redface
Evening all!
I am starting to recover now folks but still not up to much and so Wilma has banned me from spending too much time in here for now - so will have to submit 1 posting for now and see if I can do some more tomorrow if I promise to eat all my breakfast!
I am so glad you took delight in my tale of woe - and I mean that....
Looking back on it now it makes me chuckle at the thought of how absurd it all seemed at the time and the more I thought about it the more I thought you lot would apprecate the humour, if not the graphic detail, of the experience!
Thank you for all your kind words for those that said something here and in PM to either myself or Wilma - they are appreciated.
Thanks for the humour and sympathy Kat - NOT! wink
Please come and be nursey Fran - I need some luvin.... rolleyes
Arti - kind offer - and well intentioned no doubt - just not quite what I had in mind - but if still going on Wednesday it may not be too much out in right field to risk having a go! :shock:
To top it all off, when Wilma took my sample to the doctors this morning they said it would be at least 5 days before I get the result back. I could have shit myself to death by then! :roll: :roll: mad
Fred
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FredFlintstone
Sex God
For those of you who knew, I have been a little bit poorly for the last few days. I wish to share with you a very dark and low point in my life because I hope that by the time you have finished reading this you will realise that there is humour in everything. This is not a script from Billy Connolly but it felt like it after the event!
Picture the scene…..
There I was feeling all flu like on Thursday and when I went to bed I began to feel a little queasy. 2am and I was to the toilet with a stomach upset. Nothing too bad – back to bed.
4:20am and I wake up sweating. My stomach is cramping and I am thinking that if it is more than 8 steps from the bed to the toilet in the en-suite I am going to be in a mess! I dash to the toilet and sit down. At this point I start to go. This is no ordinary visit to the toilet.
This is the sort of shit where:
the first thing you hear when you sit down is the Sound barrier being broken in the bowl
you don’t strain to go – you just relax
you hold onto the toilet seat or you are likely to be launched by the force of it
you don’t wipe afterwards – you dab
the aftershock of the smell is still peeling paint 5 hours later
3 hours later you still cannot get off the toilet because a) you cannot stop going and b) your legs have lost all sensation
Have I painted enough of a vivid picture for you? – Sorry!
Anyway – all this has taken place in the dark. I am shivering and shaking because my temperature has soared with the fever and I then do the most inane thing I could do in the circumstances – I flushed! rolleyes
For those of you who don’t know what I mean I remind you that a man’s body regulates the temperature of his testicles by his scrotum either expanding to let them down to swing in the breeze or shrinking to hold them close to the body. My temperature must have been sky high because my plums were down around knee level. (Why is it that I don’t get the same thing happen to my dick, because I would have 4 radiators in the bedroom if it did?) wink
I digress…
So there I am – shivering – convulsing - feeling wretched and with my wits having deserted me some 2 minutes before, I flush the toilet only to feel the misery of ice cold water washing my scrotum! It shrank so fast that my mouth slammed shut and I feel like I chipped 2 front teeth…… :shock: :shock:
So – sitting in the dark, miserable and as low as I feel I can get I reach sideways to find an empty cardboard tube on the toilet roll holder…………
“WIIIILLLLLLLLMMMMMMMMAAAAA!!!!!!!” I groan – she lifts her head from the pillow and says “What?”
“There’s no toilet paper!”
“Down the side of the laundry basket there is one” she says
“I found my razor” - “Reach further” - “And the Readers Digest’s” - “Further”
“Ah – got it!”
And at that point she commented on how bad I smelt, turned over and went back to sleep! That was her contribution to my care that night!
I have never been so miserable in the middle of the night in my life. I now know what Jim Carry meant when he said in the film “Bruce Almighty” that even God had deserted him! (If anyone dares to send me a message telling me how to find God again I swear their arse will end up as sore as mine!)
However – it is now Sunday – I am still going to toilet a lot – I have lost 7 lbs in 72 hours – which I think must be a great way to try fit into a nice outfit for that special occasion. I just need to work out how to market it and get past the only real side effect – how to stop your arse looking like a baboon’s!
The reason I am not better? – Well the doctor decided on Saturday that a sample might help them to identify the culprit – but the hospital labs will not be able to analyse it because the only work they do at the weekend is hospital work. Even though Wilma offered to drive it to the hospital it apparently is still no good.
Instead we have to wait until I collapse – ring for an ambulance – be taken to the hospital – have a sample analysed in the hospital to tell me what I have so they can then treat me when I am in a worse condition that I was 48 hours before. So instead of a course of antibiotics on Saturday morning and 1 lab test result I could end up taking a hospital bed for days and need the care of a whole team of people to get me back to health.
Don’t you just love the mentality that allows this to happen – or am I just in a grumpy mood?
Guess I will have to wait til tomorrow before they can do a test!
Thanks for all your good wishes folks – I will return soon – and for those of you who missed us at the munch – we had already decided not to come to the munch for personal reasons last week. This illness did not change the fact about us coming, it just prevented us from caving in at the last minute and deciding to come anyway!
Anyone wanna snog? :wink: :wink:
Wilma has let me stay out of bed for a few hours now, but I am knackered, so going back to bed – night all! I promise I will catch up on all the posts in the forum when I have the energy.....
Fred
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FredFlintstone
Sex God
Quote by willxx69
will I accept
Sappho xxx
Well, that seems to settle that one then!! :happy: :happy:

Yes but would you be happy marrying someone whose grammar is so bad Will - think about it...... wink :wink:
Fred
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FredFlintstone
Sex God
Quote by Fran & Stu
Wilma, with your long suffering, I reckon that's a thread (Fred) you should start...lol
lol :lol: :lol: :lol: :lol: :lol: :lol: :lol: :lol: :lol: :lol: :lol: :lol: :lol: :lol: :lol: :lol: :lol: :lol:
Wilma.....cos he won't....!!!!!!
Luv
Stu & Fran
xxxxx

Oy!
Just seen this you cheeky buggers!
Own up - who typed it - coz if it was that Fran she is in for some punishment next time I see her! wink :wink:
If it was Stu - I guess I'll have to let him off! - DAMN! rolleyes
(That will teach me to mark all threads as read when I am tired and had enough when we get a busload of morons invade us!)
Fred
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FredFlintstone
Sex God
Nope!
You are not a killjoy..
Why is it people behave worse than kids?
Teacher has gone out we can do what we like!
I won't tolerate it and nor will the other ops therefore if anyone has a log of activity taking place that is in breach of the rules I WILL ban the individuals concerned and stop them from using the room.
The channel could be monitored at all times of the day or night and should any illegal activity take place we will find ourselves very quickly without a chatroom for good.
If that is what the complete morons who engage in this activity want then go find your own room to lose - starchat will give you one for free!
We just do not want you around in ours!
Is that plain enough for you?
email logs or screenshots of the offenders to if you want action taken.
Fred
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FredFlintstone
Sex God
Quote by Ian_Mids
If I remember rightly the tide did start to come in along your road once fred..... thought you might have needed to visit "flood barriers r us!"
Oh I'm so gonna die for this..........

That might be an understatement there Ian - you are soooooo much in trouble with Dawn when she sees that!
Fred
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FredFlintstone
Sex God
I do know that in America they have invented a special gel which they have to pump into the anus for those unfortunates who have "lost" a light bulb!
Apparently they were breaking a lot of bulbs recovering them leading to surgery to recover the bits of glass.
Now if someone goes into casualty complaining they have lost a light bulb they just inject some of this stuff - it sets like rubber around the bulb and they then extract the whole plug with the bulb intact!
Bet it makes their bloody eyes water though! rolleyes :roll: :roll:
rotflmao :rotflmao: :rotflmao: :rotflmao: :rotflmao: :rotflmao:
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