A simple but moody all time fave of mine
Baker Street - Gerry Rafferty
Sexy sax or what?
Fred
Dear Technical Support, I seem to be having a problem with my system….
Last year I upgraded to Girlfriend 1.0 from Drinking Mates 4.2, which I have used for years without trouble - apart from the odd blank screen and occasional loss of memory. Apparently, however, there are conflicts between these two systems. The only solution was to try and run Girlfriend 1.0 with the sound turned off, but to make matters worse, Girlfriend 1.0 is incompatible with several of my other applications such as; Lads Night Out 3.1, Golf 2.2 and Playboy 6.0.
Successive versions of Girlfriend proved to be no better; Girlfriend 3.0 has many Bugs and left a virus in my system, forcing me to shut down for several weeks. Eventually, I tried installing Girlfriend 2.1 as well as Girlfriend 1.0 only to discover when these two systems detected each other they caused severe damage to all my hardware, and forced me to revert to my trusty Palm 5.
Sensing a way out I upgraded to Fiancé 1.0 only to discover to my dismay that this system requires rapid upgrading to Wife 1.0. This uses up all available resources and deletes FreeSpeech 2.1 automatically.
However, it does come bundled with FreeSex Plus and Cleanhouse 2000. FreeSex Plus can be useful, but is date sensitive, appearing to deny access unless unlocked via the Interflora Hyperlink or GoldCard Unlimited!
To my cost, I have discovered that not only can Wife 1.0 be unstable and costly to maintain, but also that any mistakes I make are automatically stored in Wife 1.0 Random Access Memory. This appears to be held on a special area of the hard drive and cannot be deleted. These mistakes then have an annoying habit of re-surfacing years later, usually after BogSeatUp 0.4 has been used three times in succession or LoudFart Exchange has been launched in the local shop!
Wife 1.0 also has an automatic InterDiary Explorer and E-mail Porn Filter, and automatically runs PhotoSTROP and when I least expect it. No option on the Help menu seems to work, leaving me to try to guess the fault myself.
The system needs updating regularly requiring Shoeshop Browser Pro for new attachments, and Hairstyle Express needs to be reinstalled every week. It has also refused to load my Marbella Mania and Tourguide Extreme games, stating they are illegal operations.
When Wife 1.0 attaches itself to Car 1.0, it often crashes, forgets to run Maintenance Wizard or runs the system dry. Wife 1.0 also has a rather annoying pop-up called Mother-in-Law , which can't be turned off.
Recently I have been tempted to try Mistress Millennium add-on, but there could be problems. If Wife 1.0 detects the presence of Mistress Millennium, I am told it will automatically load Solicitor for Dummies and delete all MSMoney files before un-installing itself, and becoming a virus.
On the left...
Click on photo ads....
then click on register....
do that process - respond to email.....
Then you can place an ad!
Enjoy!
Fred
xxxx
This story occurred on Auckland radio. One of the FM stations has a competition where they ring someone up, ask them three personal questions, ring their spouse or partner, ask them the same three questions, if the answers are the same, the couple win a holiday to Bali.
One day the competition went like this:
Presenter: Gidday its XXX-FM, do you want to play the game ?
Brian: Yeah, sure.
Presenter: O.K., Question 1 - When was the last time you had sex?
Brian: Ohhh, maaaate. Ha Ha, well, about 8 o'clock thismorning.
Presenter: And how long did it go for Brian ?
Brian: Orrrrr ... about 10 minutes.
Presenter: 10 minutes ? Good one. And where did you do it mate ?
Brian: Ohhhh maaaaate, I can't say that.
Presenter: There's a holiday to Bali at stake here Brian !
Brian: O.K. ... O.K. ... On the kitchen table.
Presenter: (and others in the room - much laughter). Good one Brian, now is it O.K. for us to call your wife ?
Brian: Yeah, alright.
Presenter: Hi Sharelle, how are you ?
Sharelle: Hi. Good thanks.
Presenter: (Explains competition again) We've got Brian on the other line, say hello.
Sharelle: Hi Brian.
Brian: Hi Sharelle.
Presenter: Now Sharelle, we're going to ask you the same three questions we asked Brian and if you give the same answers, you win a trip for two to Bali.
Brian: Just tell the truth Honey.
Sharelle: O.K.
Presenter: Sharelle, when was the last time you had sex ?
Sharelle: Oohhhh, noooooo. I can't say that on radio.
Brian: Sharelle, it doesn't matter. I've already told them.
Sharelle: O.K. ... About 8:00 this morning before Brian went to work.
Presenter: Good, nice start ! Next question. How long did it go for Sharelle ?
Sharelle: (giggling) About 12, maybe 15 minutes.
Co-Presenter: That's close enough ... Brian was just being a gentleman.
Presenter: O.K. Sharelle, final question. Where did you do it ?
Sharelle: Oh no I can't say that. My mum could be listening. No way, no.
Presenter: There's a trip to Bali on the line here.
Brian: Sharelle, I've already told them so it doesn't matter anyway .. just tell em.
Sharelle: Ohhhh .... alright .... Up the arse!
........Radio Silence
.......Advert.....
Presenter: Sorry if anyone was offended before, we're going live here, and sometimes these things happen. We've given Brian and Sharelle the holiday. Now we'll take a music break.
Someone call SteveG and Will - got some uppity birds in the GFZ need escorting out and last time i tried something like that I got into a whole heap of trouble!
*Thinks of kicking Wilma......
Thinks again.....*
Hmmmmmmmmm - Shall I - shan't I?
Fred
:lol: :lol: :lol: :lol: :lol: 
:roll: :roll:
:x :x !
:rotflmao: :rotflmao: :rotflmao: :rotflmao: :rotflmao:
ops: If so I just had my first experience and to be honest could not see what the fuss was all about? :shock: :shock: 