Just a bigger prick than the rest of us!
:rotflmao: :rotflmao: :rotflmao: Join the most popular community of UK swingers now
Login
FredFlintstone
Over 90 days ago
Straight Male, 62
Bisexual Female, 58
UK
Forum
Quote by RedVelvet
(That includes you Fred)
Don't get me wrong - I am happy with myself and what I am doing. I was never disgusted with myself or unhappy about my weight. Just one day I decided I wanted to lose some weight for the sake of my health and fitness having spent 4 years living in hotels around the world and I feel so much better physically. It was the same when I gave up smoking. I just decided one day I was a non smoker!
As those who attend our parties will testify - I am not ashamed of my body at all! In fact I do believe I have 2 further bookings!
:roll: :roll: Fred
Quote by DreamerHelen
Just what are you trying to say Fred? :shock:
Dunno really, but you already owe me a sexual favour of some sort so we will have to start with a BJ! So guess I am first in queue!
*smug grin*
By the way - there is one young lady who has no trouble at all in making me come orally - shame she isn't around at the moment. I'm beginning to miss her :cry:
Fred
xxxxxxxxxxxxxx
Quote by mattmoleman
Looks like I will have to try and read to catch up the score, unless you want to give a short and sweet version that is!?
Just looked at your profile and seen you have not been around for 2 months.......
:roll: No way that there is a short explanation of what has gone on in that time - ever!
:lol: Just the usual banter - dummy spitting - serious debate - frivolity - piss taking and comings and goings.However you will need a new chip card to get into the GFZ now it was extended and redecorated 2 weeks ago and new security added to keep out the girlies. I'll send you the card - Sarge will frisk you for bugs before he gives you your pin number!
Fred
Quote by Dawn_Mids
Not me hun. I'm never nervous when I come to your parties but have to agree that they a scream
So how come you keep peeing in the street outside?
:rotflmao: :rotflmao: :rotflmao:I also remember having to escort you to your first ever party hun and you were half lashed before you got there!
:wink: :wink: Fred
XXXXXXXXXXX (All for Dawnie baby!)
I dont remember being a cavalier! 
I was circumcised when I was 2 or 3 and therefore cannot tell you what difference I feel sexually!
However a friend of mine has recently been done at the age of 42 and he has said that for the first few weeks it was sensitive to rubbing but never sore and that it has done nothing to change his sex life other than his wife has a mental image of better hygiene and therefore is happier herself.
I do know though that Wilma prefers a circumcised one and the first time she played with a Cavalier she had to ask his wife what to do! The latest couple we have been swinging with were quite surprised on the first swing when she said "Oh I am so glad you have not got a foreskin!" and then promptly blushed when we all looked at her!
I have known a few women say it is more difficult to orally satisfy a man but have no idea why that should be or if it has any basis in fact.
Volunteers for research?
Bloody HellDreamerHelen you nearly snapped your elbow you put your hand up so fast! :lol: :lol:
Fred
I was circumcised when I was 2 or 3 and therefore cannot tell you what difference I feel sexually!However a friend of mine has recently been done at the age of 42 and he has said that for the first few weeks it was sensitive to rubbing but never sore and that it has done nothing to change his sex life other than his wife has a mental image of better hygiene and therefore is happier herself.
I do know though that Wilma prefers a circumcised one and the first time she played with a Cavalier she had to ask his wife what to do! The latest couple we have been swinging with were quite surprised on the first swing when she said "Oh I am so glad you have not got a foreskin!" and then promptly blushed when we all looked at her!
I have known a few women say it is more difficult to orally satisfy a man but have no idea why that should be or if it has any basis in fact.
Volunteers for research?
Bloody HellDreamerHelen you nearly snapped your elbow you put your hand up so fast!
:lol: :lol: Fred
It is difficult not to comment - but as Mal said - if you ignore them and they realise they are getting nowhere then they sink without trace. If you look at the members list there are hundreds and hundreds of people who have posted only once or twice and never come back because the "quick shag" routine did not work!
Fred
Fred
There was a documentary on Syk television some time ago about actual swingers dressed up as Cats and dogs of all things having a dinner party and talking about the lifestyle and experiences.
We did tape it - but not sure if it really portrays swinging in the correct light really so don't know if it will do you any good.......
Did anyone else see it and if so, what did you think of it?
I may need to watch it again to remind myself of what it contained - memory like a sieve! (early onset Alzheimers!)
Fred
We did tape it - but not sure if it really portrays swinging in the correct light really so don't know if it will do you any good.......
Did anyone else see it and if so, what did you think of it?
I may need to watch it again to remind myself of what it contained - memory like a sieve! (early onset Alzheimers!)
Fred
Quote by DreamerHelen
I actually told my best friend about my thoughts on Swinging and said that I would love her to meet some of my online friends at a Munch....her instant reaction was that I was taking her to an Orgy
Have to say that this is a common reaction for people new to swinging when we invite them to one of our swinging parties. They are nervous as hell (understandable) because they do not know that the events are mostly social events and a complete scream where all the swinging is upstairs if they decide they want to play. We always joke with newcomers to parties that they have to turn up to their first party naked and are allowed to add one article of clothing for every party they attend. (I am on 27 items now!
)A couple we met for the first time asked us what swinging parties were really like and we said that you walk in naked and join straight into the orgy. Their eyes were like saucers! When we invited them to our next party they were really anxious until they saw what it was really like.
Fred
Losing weight is like stopping smoking. It will only really happen when YOU want it to and if YOU want to do it.
I care not a zot what anyone else thinks of me and my body. I only care about how happy I am and what I want to be. I feel you have 2 choices in life - either accept yourself for what you are or do something about it.
I have always said I suffer from annorexia. Every morning I get out of bed and look in the mirror and see a fat person! (Please, it was a joke - I know annorexia is a real problem - I was just making light of my own weight!)
There is a good book called "Stop the Insanity" by Susan Powter - It is annoying and condescending in parts but it talks about changing your lifestyle and attitudes which lead to weight loss. If anyone wishes to do something about their weight then I recommend you get hold of a copy and read it. What it will teach you about is normal dieting makes you fat because of the "Feast/Famine" routine.
I always say that I am fat because I eat to much. That is honesty! I also say that as long as my mouth is bigger than my arse I will always have trouble stopping weight going on. If I had to push all my dietry requirements into an orifice the size of my arse - I would lose weight!
Am I really fat - Well, not toooo fat. I am 5'9" tall and weigh 13st 2lb butt naked this morning! I have a 42" chest and a 36" waist with a bit of a paunch above it. To me I am carrying excess weight of about 9 lb and I am losing it for my own health reasons. Wilma does not want me to lose too much and I have already lost 2 stone in the last 2 years. Rest assured I will never be thin - not whilst I have the willpower of a flip-flop and chocolate populates the shelves of my local supermarket or the fridge in the house!
Be what YOU want to be and be happy - life is too short.
*steps off orange box*
Fred
I care not a zot what anyone else thinks of me and my body. I only care about how happy I am and what I want to be. I feel you have 2 choices in life - either accept yourself for what you are or do something about it.
I have always said I suffer from annorexia. Every morning I get out of bed and look in the mirror and see a fat person! (Please, it was a joke - I know annorexia is a real problem - I was just making light of my own weight!)
There is a good book called "Stop the Insanity" by Susan Powter - It is annoying and condescending in parts but it talks about changing your lifestyle and attitudes which lead to weight loss. If anyone wishes to do something about their weight then I recommend you get hold of a copy and read it. What it will teach you about is normal dieting makes you fat because of the "Feast/Famine" routine.
I always say that I am fat because I eat to much. That is honesty! I also say that as long as my mouth is bigger than my arse I will always have trouble stopping weight going on. If I had to push all my dietry requirements into an orifice the size of my arse - I would lose weight!
Am I really fat - Well, not toooo fat. I am 5'9" tall and weigh 13st 2lb butt naked this morning! I have a 42" chest and a 36" waist with a bit of a paunch above it. To me I am carrying excess weight of about 9 lb and I am losing it for my own health reasons. Wilma does not want me to lose too much and I have already lost 2 stone in the last 2 years. Rest assured I will never be thin - not whilst I have the willpower of a flip-flop and chocolate populates the shelves of my local supermarket or the fridge in the house!
Be what YOU want to be and be happy - life is too short.
*steps off orange box*
Fred
Blimey!
How the hell did you get the pics of the last meet we had - I reckon someone at Boots is taking extra copies of the pictures!
:rotflmao: :rotflmao: :rotflmao: :rotflmao: :rotflmao:
You not far wrong though Man Alive! - (Sorry can't say that without having a stupid smug grin of satisfaction plastered all over my bloody face! 
ops: :oops: )
Fred
How the hell did you get the pics of the last meet we had - I reckon someone at Boots is taking extra copies of the pictures!
:rotflmao: :rotflmao: :rotflmao: :rotflmao: :rotflmao: You not far wrong though Man Alive! - (Sorry can't say that without having a stupid smug grin of satisfaction plastered all over my bloody face!
ops: :oops: )Fred
Quote by SiGo1
I just remember it vivdly from being a kid and every time I do I almost heave so stop it :shock:
Is it that noise as it rubs over your teeth - like nails down a blackboard - or that dry rubbing texture that makes your teeth itch...............?
Is it artificial sponges or real sponges and are they wet or dry?
All in the name of science and not torture - hope you understand!
:rotflmao: :rotflmao: :rotflmao: :rotflmao: Totally agree,
We do understand people fancy the idea and when faced with a real choice run away.... but as you say the simple courtesy of "Sorry gone off the idea" would be helpful.
I have 3 seperate mailboxes under my inbox - Boiling - Simmering and Boiled over! The count just now revealed 3 in boiling 12 in simmering (although 3 of those are now over a month since we replied to them!) and boiled over has 189 items of email in!
Fuck! - I'm more ugly than I thought!
We probably do get the run around as much as single guys to be honest. but we always say in emails to people when they contact us for the first time and tell us they are new to the scene that we will be straight with them and tell them if we have doubts in any way. I have just dug out one of these emails we sent to a couple recently:
Wonder if it's the mother gag that scares the fuck out of them!:rotflmao::rotflmao::rotflmao:
Fred
We do understand people fancy the idea and when faced with a real choice run away.... but as you say the simple courtesy of "Sorry gone off the idea" would be helpful.
I have 3 seperate mailboxes under my inbox - Boiling - Simmering and Boiled over! The count just now revealed 3 in boiling 12 in simmering (although 3 of those are now over a month since we replied to them!) and boiled over has 189 items of email in!
Fuck! - I'm more ugly than I thought!
We probably do get the run around as much as single guys to be honest. but we always say in emails to people when they contact us for the first time and tell us they are new to the scene that we will be straight with them and tell them if we have doubts in any way. I have just dug out one of these emails we sent to a couple recently:
First of all welcome to the swinging community! We hope you get the fun out of it we have and enjoy yourselves as much as we do! It has definitely added a new dimension to our lives and keeps us fit. The first thing you realise when you do this is that you become hornier with one another and you have not done anything yet!
We have been swinging for about 12 months now - and in that time had some fun, some disasters and some downright hilarious episodes! However what we would say to anyone new is do not rush it. There is a huge number of first time couples that have had a disasterous first meet because they got it wrong by rushing it. Secondly sort out a system that works for you. We have one. It might not suit but at least it gives you an idea.
First of all we like to swap facial pics - decent ones - preferably one of both people together as well! That way we can see who it is we are talking to. I am afraid there are no excuses on that one at all. We have all heard that people have sensitive jobs etc but we are in the same boat - which we always explain when we meet couples.
If everyone still likes what they see - and lets be honest, we don't always - then we like to have a chat in the chatroom or on msn. If we cannot have fun chatting or make conversation in a private chat or on the phone then there is going to be one hell of an uncomfortable silence when there is a pile of clothes in the middle of the room and post coital depression sets in! We love a laugh - anything else is a bonus.
Then we like to swap mobile numbers and the girlies can have a chat - that weeds out most of the wasters - and if they get on we like to arrange to meet one night for a drink only. We meet, chat, have a laugh and then go our separate ways. Afterwards we discuss with our partners if we want to swing with the other couple and then get in touch and be honest with one another. That way there is no embarrassment or pressure on anyone throughout the process. Nobody has any delusions and nobody gets hurt (although Fred does get a bit sensitive to rejection - hahaha!)
This may be too longwinded for you guys but we feel it works for us and shows us who the genuine ones are and we have less dissappointments now because of it.
If there is anything else you would like help with then please get back in touch. If you would like to see our pics - other than the ones on the webpage then please let us know.
And if you do go to the webpage (link at the bottom) where there is a lot more information - please remember to turm the speakers down a little - We have put some music on it and the kids end up dancing around if they hear it and asking you what you are doing!
In the meantime, have a good time, have a laugh, relax - your mother is not going to ring and say what are you doing on this website! (We spoke to her on the phone last night when we were arranging to meet her and she said she will not give you a hard time!) Oh come on - I didnt mean it - Hello... Hello..... Where did they go? Hahahaha.
Wonder if it's the mother gag that scares the fuck out of them!
:rotflmao::rotflmao::rotflmao:Fred
Had to howl reading this!
We got an email from a couple in early December - seemed nice - linked to an ad - checked out the add and they seemed nice. Sent them a long email and 5 facial pics over and heard nothing for about 2 months.
Next thing we get an email from them saying - love your website want to know more! with a link to another site as there ad was no longer on here but when I went to the other site the ad was not there!
We sent back an email saying "we have been here before" but gave them the benefit of the doubt - wrote a nice long email about us and sent some more pics over and heard nothing.
Just this morning I ended up sending them this!
It seems you will always get these people on all sides - and you never can quite tell - however we can quite honestly say that we have never let anyone down, failed to show unless we have told people well in advance (and I am only talking about the Midlands munch here!), and have always been "Ronseal" Swingers - we do exactly what it says on the tin! - OK, website, if you are going to pick holes!
Every time we get an email we write a good response to it and always send facial pics if they have sent us decent ones and 98% of the time that is the last we hear.
(wonder if there is a correlation between me sending out my facial pic and people stopping talking to us? ops: :oops: )
I have no idea what the answer is though!
Fred
We got an email from a couple in early December - seemed nice - linked to an ad - checked out the add and they seemed nice. Sent them a long email and 5 facial pics over and heard nothing for about 2 months.
Next thing we get an email from them saying - love your website want to know more! with a link to another site as there ad was no longer on here but when I went to the other site the ad was not there!
We sent back an email saying "we have been here before" but gave them the benefit of the doubt - wrote a nice long email about us and sent some more pics over and heard nothing.
Just this morning I ended up sending them this!
Hi,
Sent this on 8th March and still not heard. That is now the second time you have not responded to us after you contacted us........ Sorry to be blunt but beginning to think that you are actually just timewasters or not an actual couple!
Your words "We have been let down by a few couples and to be honest getting a bit fed up with time wasters and those silly pic collectors. We only ever ask for face or full length pictures not nude! if we meet we will see you then (hopefully)" seem to ring a little hollow! At least do us the honour of replying to our emails - even if it is a no thanks.
Be good - Be happy - Be horny - Be Safe!
Yabba Dabba Dooooo? We bloody well do!
Fred & Wilma
XXXXXXXXXXXX
http://www.swingingheaven.co.uk/personal/flintstones/
It seems you will always get these people on all sides - and you never can quite tell - however we can quite honestly say that we have never let anyone down, failed to show unless we have told people well in advance (and I am only talking about the Midlands munch here!), and have always been "Ronseal" Swingers - we do exactly what it says on the tin! - OK, website, if you are going to pick holes!
Every time we get an email we write a good response to it and always send facial pics if they have sent us decent ones and 98% of the time that is the last we hear.
(wonder if there is a correlation between me sending out my facial pic and people stopping talking to us?
ops: :oops: )I have no idea what the answer is though!
Fred
As you will all remember I do indeed hold an unbroken record of 3 days at the crease with the runs clocking up!
I am certainly willing to come in the middle of the order - Wilma says I am not fast enough to come first!
However I will need some personal attention to adjust my dress before I go on - volunteers please to help me with my box..........
Now - I do fancy getting Dawn into the nets - she can put a little shine on my balls anytime - so long as she don't rub a little dirt in!
During a match from behind the stumps Rod Marsh, the Aussie wicket keeper, said to "Beefy" Ian Botham "So how's your wife, and my kids?"!!!!!
Now who is gonna do the warm up massages???????
Fred
I am certainly willing to come in the middle of the order - Wilma says I am not fast enough to come first!
However I will need some personal attention to adjust my dress before I go on - volunteers please to help me with my box..........
Now - I do fancy getting Dawn into the nets - she can put a little shine on my balls anytime - so long as she don't rub a little dirt in!
During a match from behind the stumps Rod Marsh, the Aussie wicket keeper, said to "Beefy" Ian Botham "So how's your wife, and my kids?"!!!!!
Now who is gonna do the warm up massages???????
Fred
So much of what blue says applied to us............
We started out by looking on the web first...
Then we went into a chat room on another site *spit* and got to know poeple and then got invited to our first party. There we just got it on with each other in front of other people.
We then had a huge debrief about it and discussed what we liked and disliked and where to from here. Next we did soft swings with a number of couples - had a few disasters and some real funny episodes as well before we then tried a 3some with a single bi fem. That worked well sometimes and not others and we dealt with the issues before we moved on. As Blue says - boundaries move as you get happier with things. Eventually we moved onto full swap same room and finally seperate room.
There is also the fear factor - you visit the site and the phone goes and you think it is your mum ringing up to ask why you are on a website! Then you get more comfortable until eventually you are comfortable with where you are at and if someone came up to me now and said "you're Fred Flinstone" I would ask them what their ad number is!
Some poeple say that they have codes that they use with one another and signals etc. To be honest we have always just said that if we are at all unhappy with anything during a swing we just say "Sorry guys - can we please stop - I am not happy with where I am at this moment". Those that understand are absolutley great - those that get upset are not worth the time in future. We also do the same when people contact us - If we don't quite like what we see we always tell people the truth - as difficult as that is at times and as harsh as it may seem. You cannot be attracted to everyone you chat to or meet.
The other side of the coin is that you get so horny when you first get involved you dont talk it through - you rush into it - people get hurt and upset and it plays havoc with their emotions and people have a bad time. We have seen this quite a few times since we started swinging and it upsets us to see that people can be so calous with new couples at times.
However - we have constantly talked through every aspect of our swinging and have no hangups at all in where we are and are having a complete blast at the moment.
If anyone would prefer to talk in private please feel free to contact either myself or Wilma in a PM or email us - (addy on our webpage).
Three key words for anyone.......
Trust
Honesty
Communication
Be Good - Be Happy - Be Horny - Be Safe!
Fred
We started out by looking on the web first...
Then we went into a chat room on another site *spit* and got to know poeple and then got invited to our first party. There we just got it on with each other in front of other people.
We then had a huge debrief about it and discussed what we liked and disliked and where to from here. Next we did soft swings with a number of couples - had a few disasters and some real funny episodes as well before we then tried a 3some with a single bi fem. That worked well sometimes and not others and we dealt with the issues before we moved on. As Blue says - boundaries move as you get happier with things. Eventually we moved onto full swap same room and finally seperate room.
There is also the fear factor - you visit the site and the phone goes and you think it is your mum ringing up to ask why you are on a website! Then you get more comfortable until eventually you are comfortable with where you are at and if someone came up to me now and said "you're Fred Flinstone" I would ask them what their ad number is!
Some poeple say that they have codes that they use with one another and signals etc. To be honest we have always just said that if we are at all unhappy with anything during a swing we just say "Sorry guys - can we please stop - I am not happy with where I am at this moment". Those that understand are absolutley great - those that get upset are not worth the time in future. We also do the same when people contact us - If we don't quite like what we see we always tell people the truth - as difficult as that is at times and as harsh as it may seem. You cannot be attracted to everyone you chat to or meet.
The other side of the coin is that you get so horny when you first get involved you dont talk it through - you rush into it - people get hurt and upset and it plays havoc with their emotions and people have a bad time. We have seen this quite a few times since we started swinging and it upsets us to see that people can be so calous with new couples at times.
However - we have constantly talked through every aspect of our swinging and have no hangups at all in where we are and are having a complete blast at the moment.
If anyone would prefer to talk in private please feel free to contact either myself or Wilma in a PM or email us - (addy on our webpage).
Three key words for anyone.......
Trust
Honesty
Communication
Be Good - Be Happy - Be Horny - Be Safe!
Fred
Quote by westerross
OK. Can we morph it back about half way to a subject close to my heart. What's all this about Roundheads? Speaking as a Cavalier surely there's more variety and interest in something uncut - or am I missing something?
I can only speak as one who has always been a roundhead from a young age because of a medical problem but from what I have heard from some women is that they prefer it as there are no little nooks and crannies to gather "dust" for want of a better word.
Don't forget that there are many variations of uncut men in terms of what they can do with their foreskin and so your view of life being uncut may be different to many others unless you have discussed this at length with other guys of had bi experiences to see for yourself.
Personally - I never look at other guys cocks because they hold absolutely no interest for me and certainly get a bad case of the wilts if the heads touch!
ops: :oops: So any couples out there planning a meet with us - please remember, one at a time please - cramming them both in your mouth is so undignified - makes you look like a wide mouth frog - and does nothing for me! :roll: :roll: :roll:Fred
Will that work out for you okay? 