Oh - so no bugger tells me she is back!
Only her personal identity creator......
nuffink..
not a peck on the cheek, a wink, a rub of the shoulder - not even a fart in my general direction........
HUH!
Who says we missed her. I didn't even notice she had gone.....
Me?
I never even spoke to Carpy and asked where she was - never!
Bloody women!
*phhhaattttttttttttt*
SHIT! - my dummy just went into the Ferret's cage!
*mumble, mutter, groan, shuffle*
Join the most popular community of UK swingers now
Login
FredFlintstone
Over 90 days ago
Straight Male, 62
Bisexual Female, 58
UK
Forum
: :?: :?: Think about it!Quote by KitKat
Released a bloody monster I have!
You were warned to keep her barefoot and in the kitchen - but no - you said "what harm can it do except chip her nail polish!"
Glad you liked the Avatar Kit - by the way - it was only something I created - you chose to use it and therefore it is YOU that gets the slap from Jags!
Thanks for modelling for me Sarge!
:wink: (Shaddup man - I know it wasn't you - but I can see a few raised eyebrows out there!)Fred
I'm no lady - but I think I can answer your question.!!!!
Most condoms are made of latex and quite a few women are sensitive to it in the nether regions. There are a number of Hypoallergenic and Latex Free condoms on the market. Durex make one called Avanti - which is latex free.
We know a few of our friends who have the same problem - tried every lube etc and still got irritation. Changed to a different condom and the problems either stopped or were dramatically reduced.
Hope it helps
Fred
Most condoms are made of latex and quite a few women are sensitive to it in the nether regions. There are a number of Hypoallergenic and Latex Free condoms on the market. Durex make one called Avanti - which is latex free.
We know a few of our friends who have the same problem - tried every lube etc and still got irritation. Changed to a different condom and the problems either stopped or were dramatically reduced.
Hope it helps
Fred
Mark just happens to be one of the nicest most unassuming guys I have ever met! (Thanks Mark - I'll collect the tenner later. And of course I am bound to say that because he is Da Boss and he will fire my ass if I don't!)
However when I see stuff like this I really do wonder why he has the patience to do all this for free and get abused into the bargain!
:doh: :doh: :doh: :doh: :doh: :doh: :doh:
Nice to see the full unedited thread Mark - puts it into context quite nicely!
Ooohhhhhhhhh - do you mean anyone I know - if so I will personally go and tell them off for you for not conforming?
Oh - and don't let the door hit you too hard on the back as you leave!
I love people who use smoke and mirrors to hide their own faults!
:rotflmao: :rotflmao: :rotflmao: :rotflmao: :rotflmao:
Fred
:wave: :wave: :wave: :wave: :wave: :wave:
However when I see stuff like this I really do wonder why he has the patience to do all this for free and get abused into the bargain!
:doh: :doh: :doh: :doh: :doh: :doh: :doh:
Nice to see the full unedited thread Mark - puts it into context quite nicely!
There are a few king & queen bees on here & no-one can say or do anything against them without the weight of SH fallling on their head so with this I shall now indeed leave & shall never darken your doors again with my obviously unwelcome views.
Ooohhhhhhhhh - do you mean anyone I know - if so I will personally go and tell them off for you for not conforming?
Oh - and don't let the door hit you too hard on the back as you leave!
I love people who use smoke and mirrors to hide their own faults!
:rotflmao: :rotflmao: :rotflmao: :rotflmao: :rotflmao: Fred
:wave: :wave: :wave: :wave: :wave: :wave: There is no light switch.......
The door is a revolving one...........
There are those that leave after 1 posting - there are those that leave after a thousand postings. Some think they were pushed out - some left because they were bored - some left because they got upset - some left because the priorities in their life changed - some left to move into other forums - some left because they did not fit in.
Some of those people became friends - others I didn't know and others I couldn't care less about. But one man's meat is another man's poison - other people will have felt differently about them.
All in all the forum grows in it's membership and the posting tally goes up every day - so I say why have a wake everytime someone leaves? Accept that they leave of thier own free will (unless ejected by a mod for breaching the AUP!) and we should all gather to wave them off!
I don't think we ever really communicated moist - but hey! Be happy!
Fred
The door is a revolving one...........
There are those that leave after 1 posting - there are those that leave after a thousand postings. Some think they were pushed out - some left because they were bored - some left because they got upset - some left because the priorities in their life changed - some left to move into other forums - some left because they did not fit in.
Some of those people became friends - others I didn't know and others I couldn't care less about. But one man's meat is another man's poison - other people will have felt differently about them.
All in all the forum grows in it's membership and the posting tally goes up every day - so I say why have a wake everytime someone leaves? Accept that they leave of thier own free will (unless ejected by a mod for breaching the AUP!) and we should all gather to wave them off!
I don't think we ever really communicated moist - but hey!
Be happy!Fred
Well_Busty_Babe
Personally the clad body with a hint of sexuality has more allure than the naked form every day of the week. I once had a receptionist who sat there one evening as I was leaving with her blouse open one extra button and her short skirt riding up just a little too much and I glimpsed little bits of lacy bra, stocking tops, bare thigh and panties. She seemed to move a lot as we talked and cross her legs frequently and I was mesmerised. I cannot remember a single inane thing I must have said to prolong the conversation but I remember every graphic moment!
I was a rabbit caught in the headlights! And the second I got home I told Wilma and we disappeared at the first opportunity for a bit of rampant sex! :wink:
Did the receptionist know what she was doing to me? - Damn right she did. We never discussed it and she never did it again - but she was a VERY fit lady in her mid 30's and very attractive. 8)
I agree with the sentiment about bits of meat making the rest of you unimportant. I also think that total close up "meat" shots leave nothing to be explored and discovered! Plus the fact - unless you are an alien - I doubt you have anything different to any other woman except proportions therefore I personally would much rather you "allured" me - you can shag me later! :roll:
Fred
Personally the clad body with a hint of sexuality has more allure than the naked form every day of the week. I once had a receptionist who sat there one evening as I was leaving with her blouse open one extra button and her short skirt riding up just a little too much and I glimpsed little bits of lacy bra, stocking tops, bare thigh and panties. She seemed to move a lot as we talked and cross her legs frequently and I was mesmerised. I cannot remember a single inane thing I must have said to prolong the conversation but I remember every graphic moment!
I was a rabbit caught in the headlights! And the second I got home I told Wilma and we disappeared at the first opportunity for a bit of rampant sex!
:wink: Did the receptionist know what she was doing to me? - Damn right she did. We never discussed it and she never did it again - but she was a VERY fit lady in her mid 30's and very attractive. 8)
I agree with the sentiment about bits of meat making the rest of you unimportant. I also think that total close up "meat" shots leave nothing to be explored and discovered! Plus the fact - unless you are an alien - I doubt you have anything different to any other woman except proportions therefore I personally would much rather you "allured" me - you can shag me later!
:roll: Fred
With - or without artificial aids or KY Jelly and have you been taking your prescription performance enhancing drugs again (Viagara)? If so that's cheating.
Also if we are allowed seconds to hold our weapons then I choose Sappho. Have you seen the length of those fingers? :wink: :wink:
GazTracy - I guess right about now you wish you hadn't bothered! - Sorry - it's his fault!!!! *pointing at Mark, Sarge, Kat, Artificer, MrFC*
Fred
Also if we are allowed seconds to hold our weapons then I choose Sappho. Have you seen the length of those fingers?
:wink: :wink: GazTracy - I guess right about now you wish you hadn't bothered! - Sorry - it's his fault!!!! *pointing at Mark, Sarge, Kat, Artificer, MrFC*
Fred
:lol: :lol: :lol: :lol: :lol: Well - what a tadooooo!
Lou - you made a post in response to the original posting because you took offence to it. It was I who posted it on behalf of a Forum member who thought that if their identity was known that it may colour peoples judgements.
You on the other hand were obviously feeling that it was aimed at you and fired a broadside! Good on you if you were right - you were defending yourself!
However I knew that the posting was not a personal one but a general one and when I pointed this out to you you must have wanted the ground to open up and swallow you because you had just done what the original posting had said - read into something that was not there and taken it personally!
So why should bring it up now? Certainly not to make you feel bad - I did offer you some cream to go with that slice of humble pie :wink: - but for us all to take away the lesson that what we read can have been written in one way and interpreted in another.
God on you Lou - admire you "spunk" if I am allowed to pen such a phrase myself. Just a shame you feel bad about it - coz I reckon that is one thing you will remember for a long time.
Keep on posting!
Fred
Lou - you made a post in response to the original posting because you took offence to it. It was I who posted it on behalf of a Forum member who thought that if their identity was known that it may colour peoples judgements.
You on the other hand were obviously feeling that it was aimed at you and fired a broadside! Good on you if you were right - you were defending yourself!
However I knew that the posting was not a personal one but a general one and when I pointed this out to you you must have wanted the ground to open up and swallow you because you had just done what the original posting had said - read into something that was not there and taken it personally!
So why should bring it up now? Certainly not to make you feel bad - I did offer you some cream to go with that slice of humble pie
:wink: - but for us all to take away the lesson that what we read can have been written in one way and interpreted in another.God on you Lou - admire you "spunk" if I am allowed to pen such a phrase myself. Just a shame you feel bad about it - coz I reckon that is one thing you will remember for a long time.
Keep on posting!
Fred
I saw the first one and was blown away by the effects and the message. Although I thought it was amazing at the time I have never been back and watched it a second time - even though I have the DVD - wierd!
I then heard "same same" reports on the second one and dire reports on the third one and have never been drawn to watch them at all...........
Perhaps it wasn't as good as I told myself it was in the first place!
STUNNING effects though...
Fred
I then heard "same same" reports on the second one and dire reports on the third one and have never been drawn to watch them at all...........
Perhaps it wasn't as good as I told myself it was in the first place!
STUNNING effects though...
Fred
One part of the survey recommends waving your arms, brandishing objects and making yourself appear large, to assert authority over others.
They have obviously based this on Wilma when she has PMT. For three days a month me and the sproglets hide in the cupboard under the stairs.
:roll: She is better - it used to be knives she brandished! :eeek: :eeek: :eeek: :eeek:
Fred
(Off to hide now!)
A bloody good idea!
I dont think you need a months worth of entries - just a weeks worth - but in each day reveal a little more about what you are looking for and your likes and dislikes. i.e. this guy over 60 tried to chat me up in the wine bar - personally I prefer my men between 18 and 20! :rotflmao:
And about 5 or 6 pics are all you need and some graphics - don't go for a lot of disjointed animated gif's - they look naff. Find a theme and vary it - I could always modify some graphics for you if you find a good set you want to use - if you look at the Hmm Hmm pages you will see that the whole theme is around knitting - which is a parody on the Hmm Hmm! - It could quite easily have been different coloured pots of Jam!
You do all the text and email it all to me and I'll "cobble" it together for you!
Well done!
Fred
I dont think you need a months worth of entries - just a weeks worth - but in each day reveal a little more about what you are looking for and your likes and dislikes. i.e. this guy over 60 tried to chat me up in the wine bar - personally I prefer my men between 18 and 20!
:rotflmao: And about 5 or 6 pics are all you need and some graphics - don't go for a lot of disjointed animated gif's - they look naff. Find a theme and vary it - I could always modify some graphics for you if you find a good set you want to use - if you look at the Hmm Hmm pages you will see that the whole theme is around knitting - which is a parody on the Hmm Hmm! - It could quite easily have been different coloured pots of Jam!
You do all the text and email it all to me and I'll "cobble" it together for you!
Well done!
Fred
OK,
As you will all know I have put back the pages for the old SH Hmm Hmm website. However as a temporary measure we changed the tune - even though we did not need to and Wilma penned some words.
<--------- Look to the left here and you will see the link! or go to http://www.swingingheaven.co.uk/humour/clubs/hmmhmm/
What we need is a new name for the club, a new strap line, a new logo and then a new tune and anthem. After that I will do a new look webpage!
However if people do not want to put something into it and think it has run it's course then I will leave it as it is and move onto something else.
As another aside I have built pages for ourselves and Fran & Stu and would like to help others as well. My only proviso is that it cannot just be a "here is us and our pics" page. I think an easy challenge would be a single fems page and a really difficult one would be a single guys one in terms of generating hits. Both are difficult in terms of having the theme in the first place. How about good ideas for others to use for those who don't want a page but have had a good idea.
I'll kick it off with 2 ideas for a single males page. 1) Action Man - like the Sarga Action Man figure that Brumlad did - great idea could have the description as the description on the box and a set of instructions for use. 2) A Bloodstock Sale. Pictures of body parts etc. and a description like a bloodstock auction catalogue with pedigree lines in terms of swinging pedigree as well as what type of racing the "animal" is suited to.
I do not want someone to say - "I like this idea here are 3 pics can you build it?". If the idea is good and you submit me the text and all the images, backgrounds, logo's (remembering our fight with the Hmm Hmm and Miss Always Wright & Uptight!) then will put in the effort to build ift for you and Mark will host it for you for FREE!
Anyway, will leave it for you all to mull over. Will make it a sticky for now but if there genuinely is no real interest I will de sticky and let it fall away into obscurity.
Fred
As you will all know I have put back the pages for the old SH Hmm Hmm website. However as a temporary measure we changed the tune - even though we did not need to and Wilma penned some words.
<--------- Look to the left here and you will see the link! or go to http://www.swingingheaven.co.uk/humour/clubs/hmmhmm/
What we need is a new name for the club, a new strap line, a new logo and then a new tune and anthem. After that I will do a new look webpage!
However if people do not want to put something into it and think it has run it's course then I will leave it as it is and move onto something else.
As another aside I have built pages for ourselves and Fran & Stu and would like to help others as well. My only proviso is that it cannot just be a "here is us and our pics" page. I think an easy challenge would be a single fems page and a really difficult one would be a single guys one in terms of generating hits. Both are difficult in terms of having the theme in the first place. How about good ideas for others to use for those who don't want a page but have had a good idea.
I'll kick it off with 2 ideas for a single males page. 1) Action Man - like the Sarga Action Man figure that Brumlad did - great idea could have the description as the description on the box and a set of instructions for use. 2) A Bloodstock Sale. Pictures of body parts etc. and a description like a bloodstock auction catalogue with pedigree lines in terms of swinging pedigree as well as what type of racing the "animal" is suited to.
I do not want someone to say - "I like this idea here are 3 pics can you build it?". If the idea is good and you submit me the text and all the images, backgrounds, logo's (remembering our fight with the Hmm Hmm and Miss Always Wright & Uptight!) then will put in the effort to build ift for you and Mark will host it for you for FREE!
Anyway, will leave it for you all to mull over. Will make it a sticky for now but if there genuinely is no real interest I will de sticky and let it fall away into obscurity.
Fred
A couple of comments I would like to add
I have to add a note of praise to whoever it was that did my circumcision...........
I have read a lot of comments about scarring around the penis after circumcision. Personally I have so little scarring it is difficult to tell where my foreskin was attached. I have seen one other guys penis who has had dreadful scarring and I thought he must have been unlucky. I am beginning to think that I was VERY lucky. I also get compliments about how nice he looks - just wish someone would lie to me and tell me he looks big one day! :rotflmao: :rotflmao: :rotflmao:
As to the issue of sensitivity. I suppose it does take me longer to come at times and certainly during oral. But here I perhaps can help women to really make a circumcised guy come during oral sex. Wilma has discovered that by using her mouth on the head of my penis and her hand gripping quite tight on the shaft and co-ordinating the movements of her strokes whilst using quite a lot of saliva for lubrication I can get to the peak much quicker. If she don't then she ends up with arm ache and Jaw ache! This works for me - come on Roundheads - spill the beans on what works for you and lets see if we can help women to satisfy us better!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
I think using condoms desensitises everyone so I never worry about that.
Fred
I have to add a note of praise to whoever it was that did my circumcision...........
I have read a lot of comments about scarring around the penis after circumcision. Personally I have so little scarring it is difficult to tell where my foreskin was attached. I have seen one other guys penis who has had dreadful scarring and I thought he must have been unlucky. I am beginning to think that I was VERY lucky. I also get compliments about how nice he looks - just wish someone would lie to me and tell me he looks big one day!
:rotflmao: :rotflmao: :rotflmao: As to the issue of sensitivity. I suppose it does take me longer to come at times and certainly during oral. But here I perhaps can help women to really make a circumcised guy come during oral sex. Wilma has discovered that by using her mouth on the head of my penis and her hand gripping quite tight on the shaft and co-ordinating the movements of her strokes whilst using quite a lot of saliva for lubrication I can get to the peak much quicker. If she don't then she ends up with arm ache and Jaw ache! This works for me - come on Roundheads - spill the beans on what works for you and lets see if we can help women to satisfy us better!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
I think using condoms desensitises everyone so I never worry about that.
Fred
Quote by DreamerHelen
So who's second then? Do think Wilma would get Stevie out for me
She probably would hun - you will have to ask her - but will you two fight over who drives him first? hahahahahaha.
Guess I will just have to watch :wink: :wink: :wink:
(shit job - but someone has to do it!)
Fred
