Join the most popular community of UK swingers now
Login
Fun365
Over 90 days ago
Bi-curious Male, 71
0 miles · Hampshire

Forum

Quote by newbie_student2004
Hi all,
I told my gf today that I wanted to get involved in swinging. She promptly finished me. I wish I could say it was just because of that but I think our break up has been on the cards for a while. Nethertheless, I love her with everything I am, but as things normally end up.... the one I love so much is the one who doesn't love me back the same.
Anyway, has anyone else been giltted because of swinging?
:cry: :cry:
depressivly yours
nb2004

NB2004;
Maybe she found that that was the ideal reason for finishing the relationship and it was on the cards anyway.
I have only had two swinging partners and introduced them both to the idea as a fantasy. As we both thought the fantasy was incredibly erotic we could then progress further. But the whole deal is that we discussed over quite a long time and only moved on to acting out the fantasy when we were both comfortable.
Now I don't know how you approached your gf but got the impression you might have been somewhat blunt.
Anyway, good luck. Just put it down to one of lifes experiences.
Paul
Quote by clarensteve_lincs_69796
We were to have our first swap on Sunday,we got in some wine to ease tensions and have a chat before we got down to the nitty gritty.
I was extremely nervous and ended up downing a comsiderable amount of result of which was that we could'nt do the full swap because i could'nt get it up. redface
So here is the leson to all new swingers going for their first,please don't drink too much,just enough to relax yourself.
It was a good experience though and i now know for the a twat i am. :cry:
Steve

You have my sympathy - coz we did exactly the same thing first time out. And by the time I had guzzled my millionth glass of wine I was fit for f*ck all. But it was still a good evening
Paul
Hmmmm... I scored 50. And I suppose the description is accurate - or I'd like to think that it is reasonably so.
Paul
Quote by Sgt Bilko
I'll toss you for her!!!! :shock: :shock: confused confused confused lol lol lol lol wink

Sarge;
Strikes me as a bit cruel that you should throw Fred just to get frisking rights!!! :shock:
Or were you alluding to some some sort of masturbatory episode to determine frisking rights? confused
Regards
Paul
Quote by Sgt Bilko
Something with big, huge, huge, huge tits please. 8)

So that'll be the Arsenal team photo then!!!! :shock: confused lol lol lol lol lol
Sarge;
Pack it in now. Otherwise you will find that your stripes will be removed and you will be busted to Private.
Paul
Quote by mal609
Well, I am a fully fledged Cavalier (thank God I am not a Vectra lol ), so have no idea what it feels like to be a Roundhead.
I will ask my friend Carolyn tomorrow and post what she thinks.
She wont come over tonight as Arsenal are playing and therefore my attention will not be on her.
Paul

Paul
I bet you wish she had come round now!!
Mal
lol
Mal;
True indeed. I could have done with some distraction..
Oh well, such is life
Paul
Quote by mal609
As long as you have your priorities right!!! lol
Mal
lol

Ah Mal;
Sad to say that I do!!!! When you have supported The Gunners for over 40 years ...... even Carolyn has to wait. Mind you, I will show her this thread and then she can decide on a suitable forfeit / punishment
Paul
Fool that he is.
No doubt there are many circumstances that can curtail a meet (I have had to do so myself at the last minute) but I presume that he had your mobile and therefore should have had the decency to call.
There is always a next time lol
Paul
Well, I am a fully fledged Cavalier (thank God I am not a Vectra lol ), so have no idea what it feels like to be a Roundhead.
I will ask my friend Carolyn tomorrow and post what she thinks.
She wont come over tonight as Arsenal are playing and therefore my attention will not be on her.
Paul
The first Matrix I got straight away. Thought it was a fabulous film; brilliant concept, brilliantly executed.
But then the problem starts. I can't believe that Matrix was originally slated to be a three part story. The second and third films, whilst visually stunning (great effects etc) are poor from the plot aspect.
I've now watched Revolutions twice over the weekend and am still not sure if it has ended.
Paul
Can't say that I'm too fussed if some people don't like me.
Of course I dont know anyone that does not like me. Everybody thinks I am a great guy. Handsome, witty, charming and generous. And of course modest.
Sadly, I have lived as a hermit for the last twenty years and have not left my house in all that time
Paul
Very funny and certainly true..
When my son was about 5 I heard him get up about 7 am. Heard him go downstairs and then rush back up. Heard him go into the bathroom.
I asked " What are you doing"
" Getting my boats"
Thought I had better get up and followed him downstairs. Horror of horrors - he's playing with his boats on the living room carpet!!!! They were floating rather well.
To bring this to closure. What he'd done the night before was to leave the bathroom sink taps on, the plug in and the overflow blocked up with a flannel.
Oh, how we laughed
Paul
Quote by Sgt Bilko
I will stand corrected if it can be proven that The Sarge has behaved in an honourable manner - but I wont hold my breath!!!
Paul

Please feel free to hold your breath!! 45 minutes should suffice!!!
I can asure you that after waking up in bed with Sappho my intentions were not honourable. However, my actions were :doh:
I have thanked the lovely Sappho for her hospitality and I am now stood outside, gazing up at the roof of the BFZ, wondering how we can bring a drunkern Fred back down. confused confused confused

Sarge;
I might stamp my feet for 45 mins - but you can't trick me into holding my breath for such a time.
I hope that when Will sees this post that he will take the only course of action open to him. I will leave you to ponder on that.
(ps - you do not deny that this thread was an attack on Will then?) :shock:
Paul
Quote by Sappho
Gentlemen, gentlemen! Such suspicion! He truly was a frozen Sarge. His extremities were in danger of frostbite; it was a pretty chilly night you know. You wouldn't believe the chafing I had to do to get his circulation back to full flow :shock: .
Now where is Will? Last I heard he was stomping around in his bucket-topped boots, exclaiming 'Have at ye!' at next door's cat. Obviously in need of a little Shropshire therapy this evening.
Sappho xxx

Dear Sappho;
Whilst I for one would never wish to doubt you. Myself and Arti and just seeekers of truth and justice. I will stand corrected if it can be proven that The Sarge has behaved in an honourable manner - but I wont hold my breath!!!
Paul
Quote by artificer
Yep, Fun 365,
I tend to agree. Old Bilko is my mate and all, but, I fear this is all a cunning plan designed to get him to ...exactly the position he is in now (what position are you on now Sarge? Blimey! Didn't see that one in my Pilates book!). He knew Sappho would take pity on him, course he did. He knew what a sweet, caring soul she was and....has taken advantage. We still haven't heard any basis to his original protest....(Me thinks he doth protesteth too much!)...and that figure on the roof last night looked suspiciously like my missing ewe wrapped in khaki fatigues.
Come on Sarge, spit it out-no, not you Sappho dear-you're up to your Bilko tricks aren't you? Not that we think ill of you-although Will may well be polishing his rapier as I speak.

Arti;
I've noticed that Sarge has posted against another couple of threads since I made my post and yet not answered mine or yours. Though I hate to say this, as Sarge is a military man, but I think he is running scared!!!
If he is shed of his tanks, bombs, jeeps then he is in essence 'naked'. I feel that Will must deal with him, and deal with him once and for all!!!
This attempt to gain sympathy by threatening to throw himself off the roof - well even a fool can see through that. Despicable behaviour indeed.
I await the response from The Sarge (soon to be busted to Private I think)
Paul
Will;
After due consideration of this thread and initially thinking that the Sarge had just gone completely mad, I am now of the firm belief that the whole thread has been an attack, by Sarge, on yourself. Just look at the Title of the thread..
I am convinced that it is a typo and is actually meant to say Bard'Stard.
I also believe that you should run the bugger through at the first opportunity.
Paul
Good Lord Kinky. You never cease to amaze me!!!!
You have my sympathy. But you have made me laugh.
Must go and check my CV
Paul
Quote by ManAlive

Mrs Peel - I'm almost tempted to cease being a gentleman.

My God - what a pic.
Shuffles uncomfortably in his seat redface
Paul
Quote by Mr Writer
I watched it he was so cheerful right till the end even tho he must have been in so much pain he still wanted to help others he was one brave man and thought are with his parents

His mother came across with a tremendous sense of dignity. It's a shame the same can't be said about his late father who all but rejected his son because of the condition.
If you're in the afterlife you told us you believed in Jonny, I hope you're having a good time of it there.
Dear Mr Writer;
Sadly did not see the program, but read much about it in the papers.
I can understand how his father 'all but rejected' the son. To try and come to terms with something like this tests the limits virtually to the end. I do speak from experience. My mother got measles when whe was pregnant with my younger brother. The result was a brother that was (and still is ) serverly mentally disabled (and now physically). My initial reaction as a youth was not what it should have been. Mind you I did get good at beating the proverbial shit out of older boys that took the piss out of him.
It took me until my late teens / early twenties for me to come to terms with his problems - and my elder brother educating me. All is well with the world and he lives a good life ( as long as you keep the bugger supplied with copious amounts of tea and ensure his dinner is on time lol )
That's my hijacking of this thread
Paul
Quote by Kinky Lizard

Well, I found it a little foul...... biggrin biggrin

Bloody hell Kinky. You are looking good these days.
Paul :shock:
Quote by mal609

But, Mal I feel good - you have about the same amount of hair (on your head) as me
lol
Paul

Never affected my performance, Paul, can't imagine how it got like that though! :therethere: passionkiss :therethere: passionkiss :therethere: passionkiss :therethere:
Mal
lol
I always claim that it is related to banging head against headboards whilst in the throes of sexual peaks....
But of course it could be because my Dad is a bald bugger as well
confused
Paul
Delightful pics indeed!!!!!
Mal is one extremely lucky guy..
But, Mal I feel good - you have about the same amount of hair (on your head) as me
lol
Paul
Sean;
Not taking the pee... But your e-mail address probably wont encourage many.
Good luck anyway
Paul
I trawled my memory and found it empty.
I once was told I looked like a tw*t - but I took that as a complimenet. :shock:
And one lady a few years ago said " I always go out with men that are just short of handsome" So, that was the end of that then.
Paul
Quote by Sappho
I can only cite the case of the disappearing strawberry - and will say no more! wink
rotflmaorotflmaorotflmaorotflmaorotflmao
Sappho xxx

Sappho;
Whilst I can use my over active imagination - I really would like the full story redface
Paul
Quote by scrumcioussue
redface When you wake up open the dresser drawer and sit eyes still closed and empty yer bladder :shock:

Bloody hell Scrum... That is not good at all!!!!!!!!!!!
Paul
The best for me has to be.. Working in Bermuda for 6 years for a Bank. rom the age of 22 - 28.
The job was great. The people wonderful and friendly. Weather superb. Pace of life just right. The women ... aaagh the women. :shock:
Now, why the f**k did I ever leave confused
Paul
The worst job. Try this for size
As a 16 yr old, I got a summer job. On a turkey farm. I spent 6 weeks
Shovelling turkey shit
Cleaning turkey shit from pens
Washing turkey shit from grills
Moving turkey shit from place to place
De-beaking turkey chicks
popping the chicks with a syringe (when they got air into there stomachs)
Earning extra money on the artificial insemmination runs (don't ask for details)
Being covered in turkey shit
But I did get to drive a tractor lol
And all this so that i had enough money to have a weeks holiday in Bournemouth
Paul