Quote by Mal
................or even a mix of the two? A list of commonly posted threads AND point them to a Mentor?
Just a fort!!
Mal
I'd go with that. And to save having another sticky, could we maybe add the links into The advice thread?
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HornyLittleBlonde
Over 90 days ago
Straight Female, 51
Straight Female, 66
0 miles · Derbyshire
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Quote by cockslut
a social is just that, a social. in any language. surely socials are for the purpose of letting people meet likeminded people in a safe environment with no pressure to do anything else at that time and to evaluate if you would like to meet someone at a later date. be it at the end of the night or a month later.
:thumbup:
Quote by cockslut
there seems to be a common denominator appearing through this thread etc,that theres a divide between forum,/ ads and chatroom users,
its been mentioned people who use the ads section are ungenuine,people in the chatrooms are the quick shag bridgade and the people in the forum are the genuine swingers,
I haven't seen that and personally I don't think that is the case. There are genuine swingers who use the ads, chatroom and forum. You'll also find the "quick shag brigade" and "ungenuine" in all three
However what I will say is I do believe because there is a record of previous posts you can get a lot of information that people in the ads and chatroom don't always have.
For instance looking at people's previous posts, if they put a thread in let's meet up saying they're a single male aged 40 and are getting no luck. When they do another one a month later as the male part of a couple aged 28 it's easy to spot so they're weeded out.
Now if someone did that in the chatroom, the chances are no one would remember.
I don't think this makes the forum users superior in any way, but the nature of how it works means (over time) we do gain information that others might not.
For instance, if people want to know
How to post pics
Is it a pay site?
What's a munch?
Why's the site been down?
Why can't I log in the chatroom?
Why can't I put my phone number in my ad?
They often come to the point is I would argue that the majority of the forum users know more about the site rules and guidelines than other parts of the site.
Pololady gave an example of this earlier when she mentioned that she'd seen many chatroom users organising meets and giving exact times and locations. I'm not saying this doesn't happen in the forums, but I don't think it's as common. This doesn't make them any less genuine, it just means they're not aware of the dangers of what they're doing - as some of the forum users don't when they first start to post
I like the idea in theory, but like has been said, who would read it.
We have a Chatroom Q & A thread at the top of the page, but it doesn't stop people posting their winges like they think this is the chatroom customer services department.
Then I thought if we had a FAQ thread at least we would have an easy link to refer people to and post the link to them. The down side to that is as Darkfire mentioned it does cut down the actual interaction with the newbies.
I think sometimes the questions they ask are just their way of taking the plunge and a response of "Go read here" could stop them posting again.
Oooh I can't make my mind up. Typical Libran!!!
We have a Chatroom Q & A thread at the top of the page, but it doesn't stop people posting their winges like they think this is the chatroom customer services department.
Then I thought if we had a FAQ thread at least we would have an easy link to refer people to and post the link to them. The down side to that is as Darkfire mentioned it does cut down the actual interaction with the newbies.
I think sometimes the questions they ask are just their way of taking the plunge and a response of "Go read here" could stop them posting again.
Oooh I can't make my mind up. Typical Libran!!!
Quote by de_sadeBut that aside, how about gathering a few props, e.g a wig, sunglasses, a pipe, a fake moustache, some googly eye glasses, you know stuff that are weird and funny and keep changing your appearance
Errrr...Didn't I read somewhere on here that was Dambusters trademark? I'd check the :small-print: before you proceed with Tania's suggestion, just in case DB has it registered.
De_sade
And as we also like to make videos I would just like to clarify that yes I do have an exhibitionist side, but no dammie does not "dress up in our videos"
:wave Steve
Welcome to the forum. Sounds like you've certainly got the attitude right :thumbup:
If that means what I think it means it's a very very bad idea.
Welcome to the forum. Sounds like you've certainly got the attitude right :thumbup:
Quote by nandrews
Have you written up about your first meeting? If you post it up then maybe that will interest someone to make contact.
Good luck
Nigel
If that means what I think it means it's a very very bad idea.
Quote by naughtynymphos1
Wife not giving me any so am looking to have some fun with other women. Anyone for no strings fun in Peterborough/Cambridge?
Please email me.
GuyguySorry I'm a bit busy at the moment with the girl on girl stuff - that wife of yours is a real goer.
ohhh i heard that too fancy a girly 3sum HLB
:happy:
Not sure it's fair to leave Da69ve out though
Quote by cockslut
on the contary because the venue is kept secret until last few days and then only mailed to pm's not via chatroom or forum people only need to know what sort of event it is, area, date and time, not that many is there?
For the munches and "standard" socials yes, there is limited information you need to give, but the ones that cause the confusions are all the grey areas of BBQs, parties, drinkies then onto a club etc.
That's why I took posts out of your thread, I deliberately took out the names and area as it wasn't aimed at your thread and there are many other different events that people organise.
On a more personal note, thanks for coming into the Cafe and joining the discussion. I'm glad it's had your input :thumbup:
Quote by Shireen_Mids
But . . . . my main concern and reason for the thread is the ambiguity surrounding the threads billing pre-drink fuckfests as socials.
Getting ya now :thumbup: Perhaps then additional guidelines need to be put in place like there is for the munch.... The Mods and Admin team are going to kill me for saying that
btw You know what the best cure for a headache is don't you?
Quote by Shireen_Mids
Where is that sort of information ?
Where can "we"refer people ?
I would refer them to http://www.swingingheaven.co.uk/terminology/munch.html myself as munches and socials are pretty much the same with a couple of minor differences
:doh:
Shireen. It your head hurting yes? There goes case in point. If you refer people to those guidelines the ones that state "members only", how does that help?
So you've explained to them what a munch is that's great, but not if they're asking you the difference between a social and a munch.
Quote by cockslut
ok, appreciate that but the ad was put up cos we kept getting mails from single peeps asking would they be made welcome to our social as they had read that couples where going to be ad was to put everyones mind at ease (and save my fingers typing) that anyone would be made welcome to our socials, thats all nothing more.
OK that adds a 2nd issue to what I'm saying.
It has been suggested that since the unification of the logins and a lot more people coming over from the ads and the chatroom, that we need to clarify what these events are. The fact that people have been asking you tells me that this is indeed the case.
I am however left wondering why you felt the need to put an ad up for singles as opposed to just editing your initial post to say "All welcome, singles, couples etc"
Quote by cockslut
as the quote about social in forum plus add running same day seems aimed at us, can you please confirm socials are only for couples ,as we 've not read that anywhere? so am confused why we can't invite single guys (as well as couples) whatever there sexual preference to a drinks only social meet with no promise of afters fun?
Cockslut
I used your social as an example as it was the one that happened to be in my mind and I could find. The post certainly wasn't aimed at you.
To answer your question - no socials are just for couples, but the whole point of it is if it's purely social then there shouldn't be any need for "we need more single blokes" "We need another Bi fem" etc. Those type of comments tend to suggest that it's more than just a social meet.
The fact that there were questions asked about the previous social is case in point. And I've noticed that you have another thread running in Let's Meet Up where you have made it absolutely clear that is is a social, which you obviously have learnt from your experience of organising these things now. :thumbup:
All that's being suggested here is if it's a social, label it as a social and if it's a quick drink prior to a private party elsewhere then label it as such.
That way you get the people attending who are interested in the type of event you're organising.
Quote by davidandtracy
Jesus i have caught you all on a bad day haven't i?
How many times can i say sorry for using the BF word?
Well it looks as if all our chances of finding what we were looking for has definatley gone now for sure....I dont think the orginal post deserved this amount of abuse....
Quote :Has any one apart from us got so sick of waiting for the '' Allusive Bi Female'' to come along hired an escort fot the evening.........or are we just wirdo's
Anyway we were thinking of leaving anyway.....
Sorry if i offended any of you........
Caio
:therethere:
Don't take it personally.
I don't think the sarcastic comments are aimed at yourselves - it's just that your thread's been hijacked and got out of hand.
Trust me. Shut your 'puter down for the night. Have a wonderful evening together and come back tomorrow when it will all be done and dusted.
You've not blown anything - just take on board the constructive advice and take the rest with a pinch of salt.
Dust yourself down and come back tomorrow knowing that you know more than you did yesterday
I can't believe you're asking for techie advice.
You've shattered the dream of you being my "techno knight in shining armour" :cry:
Seriously, we had problems when we had a wanadoo router - it works with the plug in thingy dammie got but not with my wireless laptop.
We then bought a netgear one which works great - well it does now we've set it up properly.
Sorry I said we there. What I meant was when someone came to our rescue and did it for us.
You've shattered the dream of you being my "techno knight in shining armour" :cry:
Seriously, we had problems when we had a wanadoo router - it works with the plug in thingy dammie got but not with my wireless laptop.
We then bought a netgear one which works great - well it does now we've set it up properly.
Sorry I said we there. What I meant was when someone came to our rescue and did it for us.
There seems to be a confusion of the issue in this thread and some of the examples being given are based on what happened previously instead of what's happening now.
We've also seen examples of how people organise or ask questions about functions from people who clearly know the difference, which again (IMO) is not the issue
I'm going to ask that we set aside the Munch/Mini Munch/Social terminology debate and just look at the difference between "Social" and "Party/Meet" using the example I gave earlier
So
1. Should this be advertised as:
A Social
A party
Social drinkies followed by a house party
2 separate threads for a social drinkies and a private house party
Other suggestions
2. Does it matter what this example is advertised as?
Discuss
We've also seen examples of how people organise or ask questions about functions from people who clearly know the difference, which again (IMO) is not the issue
I'm going to ask that we set aside the Munch/Mini Munch/Social terminology debate and just look at the difference between "Social" and "Party/Meet" using the example I gave earlier
Quote by HornyLittleBlonde
Here's the first 2 posts from another "Social" organised in Let's Meet Up:
hiya peeps, we're having our 4th social meet 29th april at 8pm, please mail for venue or catch us online for an invite, please though only apply if your local to the area. singles / couples made very if you can't make it that night please don't fill our mailbox with questions etc, and we have a strict policy if you say your going to cum and don't you won't get another oppurtunity.
As a single guy,I have been to the previous 3 socials,and can vouch that *** and *** are the top gals in have a few beers,a great laugh, and maybe some naughtiness to end the night,should we get an inside are often in the chatroom,and from that you can all see how friendly we are,and horny to would like to say more couples though,pref with a bi-fem cus our gals do get a bit this is your first time at swinging,drop the gals a line,we will all put on the 29th
So
1. Should this be advertised as:
A Social
A party
Social drinkies followed by a house party
2 separate threads for a social drinkies and a private house party
Other suggestions
2. Does it matter what this example is advertised as?
Discuss
Quote by davidandtracy
I promise never to use the Fraise ''Bi Female'' ever again.........only when talking about Tracy...............
Peace ?
No need to go that far. As I said you seem like a really nice, genuine couple and you're certainly not the only people in the world looking for a Single Bi Fem.
What I posted was purely to try & show the other side of the coin and the potential for SBFs to make judgement on your postings.
There's nothing worse than coming across as "over keen".
Sit back & relax and get to know people at a slower pace :thumbup:
In addition there's a few "interesting comments" here:
You know it's not rights when...
It's also quite an entertaining read even if I say so myself
Apologies to David and Tracy if it sounds like I'm giving you homework :giggle:
You know it's not rights when...
It's also quite an entertaining read even if I say so myself
Apologies to David and Tracy if it sounds like I'm giving you homework :giggle:
David & Tracy
I can understand your desire to find a Bi Female, but try and understand what the Bi females are looking for as well.
Celestria has given you a link to a very inciteful post and it's worth reading if you have the time.
As another member who joined as a Single Bi Fem (or SBF) I'll give you an idea of how I used to use this site. Yes this is only my opinion and I fully accept this does not apply to everyone.
In the beginning I found that as soon as people saw my SBF label they would pm me not knowing anything about me or caring about my looks/personality just because I was "the ellusive SBF".
I was also nervous and safety conscious of meeting people on my own.
I then got into the social/munch side of the site and found this suited me more as I'm a much better judge of character in person than on line and I felt I was meeting people in a safe environment.
What I was able to see when I met people was how they would talk to me half interested and then ask who I was with. When I said I was single all of a sudden there's a spark in their eye and they ask "Are you Bi".
All of a sudden they're handing off my every word like I'm thw most interesting person in the universe. I have to say I found it extremely off putting and wouldn't shag them if my life depended on it.
Now the other thing I always do if someone contacts me is:
Check out their profile
Check out the pics
Check out the ads
Check out their posts
You seem like a really nice couple, put bearing in mind your time on the site and the posts you've made regarding SBFs. Some of them are practically ads. You could easily be pigeon holed into the "we want an SBF now - anyone will do" category and to many of the girly's it's extremely off putting.
Having said all that I sincerely hope you find what you're looking for :thumbup:
I can understand your desire to find a Bi Female, but try and understand what the Bi females are looking for as well.
Celestria has given you a link to a very inciteful post and it's worth reading if you have the time.
As another member who joined as a Single Bi Fem (or SBF) I'll give you an idea of how I used to use this site. Yes this is only my opinion and I fully accept this does not apply to everyone.
In the beginning I found that as soon as people saw my SBF label they would pm me not knowing anything about me or caring about my looks/personality just because I was "the ellusive SBF".
I was also nervous and safety conscious of meeting people on my own.
I then got into the social/munch side of the site and found this suited me more as I'm a much better judge of character in person than on line and I felt I was meeting people in a safe environment.
What I was able to see when I met people was how they would talk to me half interested and then ask who I was with. When I said I was single all of a sudden there's a spark in their eye and they ask "Are you Bi".
All of a sudden they're handing off my every word like I'm thw most interesting person in the universe. I have to say I found it extremely off putting and wouldn't shag them if my life depended on it.
Now the other thing I always do if someone contacts me is:
Check out their profile
Check out the pics
Check out the ads
Check out their posts
You seem like a really nice couple, put bearing in mind your time on the site and the posts you've made regarding SBFs. Some of them are practically ads. You could easily be pigeon holed into the "we want an SBF now - anyone will do" category and to many of the girly's it's extremely off putting.
Having said all that I sincerely hope you find what you're looking for :thumbup:
Shireen/Dawn
The examples you give are ones from socials organised by yourselves and obviously you know the difference between a social and a fuckfest.
Here's the first 2 posts from another "Social" organised in Let's Meet Up:
The examples you give are ones from socials organised by yourselves and obviously you know the difference between a social and a fuckfest.
Here's the first 2 posts from another "Social" organised in Let's Meet Up:
hiya peeps, we're having our 4th social meet 29th april at 8pm, please mail for venue or catch us online for an invite, please though only apply if your local to the area. singles / couples made very if you can't make it that night please don't fill our mailbox with questions etc, and we have a strict policy if you say your going to cum and don't you won't get another oppurtunity.
As a single guy,I have been to the previous 3 socials,and can vouch that *** and *** are the top gals in have a few beers,a great laugh, and maybe some naughtiness to end the night,should we get an inside are often in the chatroom,and from that you can all see how friendly we are,and horny to would like to say more couples though,pref with a bi-fem cus our gals do get a bit this is your first time at swinging,drop the gals a line,we will all put on the 29th
Quote by Bloke2005
Right, I'm in chat and they are talking about it there too... who let the cat out of the bag? This is snowballing...and not in a good way :twisted:
Bloke I feel for you I really do
Unfortunately I don't think a man who started a wedding munch thread can really protest about having a "Bloke is Bi" tour.
The tour stands. Now where's Sarah with that Bus? :giggle:
Quote by essex34m
no more than usual
When I started the thread on Sunday (I think) there were a significantly high number of threads being edited by mods and quite a few cock shot avatars around.
In addition the number of spam wink messages I received has increased
I also checked the latest members and there were over 450 joined on Saturday - I'm not sure what the norm is now, but it just made me wonder if there had been any additional advertising/marketing or if we'd had a mention in the tabloids.
