We agree with the majority of posts on this topic - you're being sensible and straight forward in your approach.
There is absolutely nothing at all wrong in expecting, at the very least, a contact number and name, before any meet.
Without those 2 we would simply refuse to meet.
Keep your standards up and don't compromise on your minimum requireents is our advice.
Join the most popular community of UK swingers now
Login
Laff_n_Chilli
Over 90 days ago
Straight Male, 63
Straight Female, 61
0 miles · Conwy
Forum
excuse us for paraphrasing an old quote oft used by the more enviromentally aware brigade but it would seem apt given the circumstances of this post and the subsequent mention of the value of water.
"only when the last fish has been caught,
the last river poisoned,
& the last tree felled,
the last field turned to desert,"
etc etc
"only then will man learn that you can't eat money"
"only when the last fish has been caught,
the last river poisoned,
& the last tree felled,
the last field turned to desert,"
etc etc
"only then will man learn that you can't eat money"
Cornwall!
- we're staying near Wadebridge and would just love the chance to meet up with a nice couple or even a single man (or more than one single man) for a bite of lunch, a good old chin wag, and who knows what else may follow after all that.
(There's nowt like a good pasty to get us in the mood)
So - if your interested in a good chat and a good laugh with people who don't take life too seriously (especially whilst we're on our hols) then have a look at our profile - and should you still be up for a bit of a good time - send us a message
we look forward to hearing from you
Laff n Chilli
- we're staying near Wadebridge and would just love the chance to meet up with a nice couple or even a single man (or more than one single man) for a bite of lunch, a good old chin wag, and who knows what else may follow after all that.
(There's nowt like a good pasty to get us in the mood)
So - if your interested in a good chat and a good laugh with people who don't take life too seriously (especially whilst we're on our hols) then have a look at our profile - and should you still be up for a bit of a good time - send us a message
we look forward to hearing from you
Laff n Chilli
I believe a good introduction can overcome even the deepest of fears with regards the Tea/Coffee debate
"Hi - I'm Laff & this is Chilli,
........... and over here are our good friends Mr Teapot, Mrs Kettle, The Mug Brothers and they're all very happy to let me introduce you to the ringmaster - Miss Tap and her lovely daughters T-bag, Sugar, Senseo Coffee-maker and Coffee-mate.
Please feel free to help yourself to any threesome that takes your fancy ........ oh and while your there mines white with no sugar."
You see how easily all this stress can be overcome.
Happy housemeets everyone!
"Hi - I'm Laff & this is Chilli,
........... and over here are our good friends Mr Teapot, Mrs Kettle, The Mug Brothers and they're all very happy to let me introduce you to the ringmaster - Miss Tap and her lovely daughters T-bag, Sugar, Senseo Coffee-maker and Coffee-mate.
Please feel free to help yourself to any threesome that takes your fancy ........ oh and while your there mines white with no sugar."
You see how easily all this stress can be overcome.
Happy housemeets everyone!
to be sure of your date turning up the rules are simple
avoid meeting when a live football match is being broadcast
- or even highlights like match of the day
avoid meeting when a live rugby match is being broadcast
avoid meeting when a live cricket match is being broadccast
avoid meeting when live darts is being broadcast
avoid meeting when Top Gear is being broadcast
- even the repeats on Dave
avoid meeting whilst the bar is open
avoid meeting when the latest Sci-Fi blockbuster is still new at the cinema
so that leaves roughly 4 hrs a year
Between 3am and 5am on February 30th and 31st
still its not all bad news - only 9 months to go
is that right?
avoid meeting when a live football match is being broadcast
- or even highlights like match of the day
avoid meeting when a live rugby match is being broadcast
avoid meeting when a live cricket match is being broadccast
avoid meeting when live darts is being broadcast
avoid meeting when Top Gear is being broadcast
- even the repeats on Dave
avoid meeting whilst the bar is open
avoid meeting when the latest Sci-Fi blockbuster is still new at the cinema
so that leaves roughly 4 hrs a year
Between 3am and 5am on February 30th and 31st
still its not all bad news - only 9 months to go
is that right?
Well in just 2 weeks we'll be in one of our favourite spots in the world.
Cornwall!
- we're staying near Wadebridge and would just love the chance to meet up with a nice couple or even a single man (or more than one single man) for a bite of lunch, a good old chin wag, and who knows what else may follow after all that.
(There's nowt like a good pasty to get us in the mood)
So - if your interested in a good chat and a good laugh with people who don't take life too seriously (especially whilst we're on our hols) then have a look at our profile - and should you still be up for a bit of a good time - send us a message
we look forward to hearing from you
Laff n Chilli
Cornwall!
- we're staying near Wadebridge and would just love the chance to meet up with a nice couple or even a single man (or more than one single man) for a bite of lunch, a good old chin wag, and who knows what else may follow after all that.
(There's nowt like a good pasty to get us in the mood)
So - if your interested in a good chat and a good laugh with people who don't take life too seriously (especially whilst we're on our hols) then have a look at our profile - and should you still be up for a bit of a good time - send us a message
we look forward to hearing from you
Laff n Chilli
Quote by Naughty Wigan Couple
I have a 'oh-my-god-want-to-do-you' list but most of the people on it dont know, and this is because they are either looking for different things than I am, they are mates and would feel uncomfortable approaching them, or they are what I consider to be 'out of my league' However, I also have another list which is my 'oh-my-god-want-to-do-you-just-a-matter-of-time' list and I do intend starting work on that at some point :twisted:
However, I do find them all sexually attractive
It's OK - you can tell me!
To make sure your partner squirts you need to apply the toothpaste tube theory
you know the one -
if you walk across the landing outside your bathroom just after one of the kids has been in there, you will, without a shadow of a doubt, find yourself treading on a nearly full tube of toothpaste - thus causing it to gush out and across the newly laid carpet onto your brand new shoes/dress/suit (delete as applicable)
Applying this principle to your partner is simplicity itself - and it can all be done in the privacy of your own bedroom - In fact it probably should be done in the privacy of your own soundproof padded cell.
Ask your partner to lay down and then apply a large garden roller to his/her lower extremities working your way up until the screaming stops.
Inspect for signs of 'gushing/squirting'.
If none are present don't give up. Instead apply greater pressure by having a neighbour lay on the roller to add to the intensity of the exprience.
Once your partner is fully satisfied and less than 1" thick (but prbably 5 feet wide) clean up the resulting liquid debris before calling your friends to brag at how well you've satisfied the bastard/bitch this time.
This technique can aso be applied to unruly teenagers when required.
you know the one -
if you walk across the landing outside your bathroom just after one of the kids has been in there, you will, without a shadow of a doubt, find yourself treading on a nearly full tube of toothpaste - thus causing it to gush out and across the newly laid carpet onto your brand new shoes/dress/suit (delete as applicable)
Applying this principle to your partner is simplicity itself - and it can all be done in the privacy of your own bedroom - In fact it probably should be done in the privacy of your own soundproof padded cell.
Ask your partner to lay down and then apply a large garden roller to his/her lower extremities working your way up until the screaming stops.
Inspect for signs of 'gushing/squirting'.
If none are present don't give up. Instead apply greater pressure by having a neighbour lay on the roller to add to the intensity of the exprience.
Once your partner is fully satisfied and less than 1" thick (but prbably 5 feet wide) clean up the resulting liquid debris before calling your friends to brag at how well you've satisfied the bastard/bitch this time.
This technique can aso be applied to unruly teenagers when required.
Personally we blame all those damn nicotine addicted basset hounds who just won't stop smoking whilst they are being transported, unrestrained in their owners cars - and you know what?
The buggers just won't stop messing with the CD players and sat-navs - is this an addiction also?
And while we're at it the labrador insists on eating his ice-cream cone and operating the windscreen wipers at the same time - should we chastise him? or buy him a new bone?
Oh - and don't get us started on the fekkin cats - just cos it's called a jaguar it doesn't mean they're in charge!
The buggers just won't stop messing with the CD players and sat-navs - is this an addiction also?
And while we're at it the labrador insists on eating his ice-cream cone and operating the windscreen wipers at the same time - should we chastise him? or buy him a new bone?
Oh - and don't get us started on the fekkin cats - just cos it's called a jaguar it doesn't mean they're in charge!
Taken unashamedly from the pages of the Daily MASH - We highly reccomend it as regular reading to all. -
As Action for Happiness, a mass movement to improve general wellbeing, unveiled its list of 10 steps to contentment, researchers stressed that everyone would absolutely hate it and them.
Professor Henry Brubaker, of the Institute for Studies, said: "It includes things like 'giving', 'relating' and 'exercising'. It says we should 'appreciate' local wildlife, set 'goals' for ourselves, learn 'a language'.
"It does seem that they may have mistaken us for a bunch of fucking Blue Peter presenters. 'Yeah, let's all be really active, engaged, socially aware citizens'.
"Piss off, you freaks."
Meanwhile, our own Institute for Studies has compiled its own 10 Quick Steps to Easy Happiness:
So many options. With a chum, in a public lavatory. At home alone is nice too.
2. Television
Have you seen WHITE VAN MAN? It's the balls.
3. Meat
Take time to appreciate the animal life around you and then eat it in a bun.
4. Foreigners
Impersonate their ridiculous accents and accuse them of .
5. Give up
Having a goal in life is stressful. And annoying. No-one cares if you're 'successful' and neither should you.
6. Ignorance
The more you know about the world the more horrifying it becomes. Learn nothing and persecute the intelligent.
7. Smugness
You're brilliant and everyone else is an arse.
8. Power
Be part of something bigger - like a club or society - and then rule it with an iron fist.
9. Just be, like, you know, happy
It may seem like a grotesque over-simplification, but it is better than being sad.
10. 'Fuck off'
If you meet anyone who is a member of Action for Happiness, tell them to 'fuck off'. You will feel fantastic
As Action for Happiness, a mass movement to improve general wellbeing, unveiled its list of 10 steps to contentment, researchers stressed that everyone would absolutely hate it and them.
Professor Henry Brubaker, of the Institute for Studies, said: "It includes things like 'giving', 'relating' and 'exercising'. It says we should 'appreciate' local wildlife, set 'goals' for ourselves, learn 'a language'.
"It does seem that they may have mistaken us for a bunch of fucking Blue Peter presenters. 'Yeah, let's all be really active, engaged, socially aware citizens'.
"Piss off, you freaks."
Meanwhile, our own Institute for Studies has compiled its own 10 Quick Steps to Easy Happiness:
So many options. With a chum, in a public lavatory. At home alone is nice too.
2. Television
Have you seen WHITE VAN MAN? It's the balls.
3. Meat
Take time to appreciate the animal life around you and then eat it in a bun.
4. Foreigners
Impersonate their ridiculous accents and accuse them of .
5. Give up
Having a goal in life is stressful. And annoying. No-one cares if you're 'successful' and neither should you.
6. Ignorance
The more you know about the world the more horrifying it becomes. Learn nothing and persecute the intelligent.
7. Smugness
You're brilliant and everyone else is an arse.
8. Power
Be part of something bigger - like a club or society - and then rule it with an iron fist.
9. Just be, like, you know, happy
It may seem like a grotesque over-simplification, but it is better than being sad.
10. 'Fuck off'
If you meet anyone who is a member of Action for Happiness, tell them to 'fuck off'. You will feel fantastic
Hiya
It's an absolutely top class profile and in our opinion should be held up as a model for the majority of single males on this site who seem to be unable to
1. download a photo
2. download any photo that doesn't include their cock
3. describe themselves
4. read and write
5. behave in a reasonable manner
Well done to you for what we hope proves to be a truthful and well thought out tome of excellent depth and interest (and not a little humour).
We wish you every success.
It's an absolutely top class profile and in our opinion should be held up as a model for the majority of single males on this site who seem to be unable to
1. download a photo
2. download any photo that doesn't include their cock
3. describe themselves
4. read and write
5. behave in a reasonable manner
Well done to you for what we hope proves to be a truthful and well thought out tome of excellent depth and interest (and not a little humour).
We wish you every success.
NO KISSING!!
FFS - Thats absurd
We could never do without kissing - in fact we'd go so far as to say that a poor kiss can result in our guest(s) being shown the door.
A kiss is essentail.
A good kiss is desirable.
And a great kiss is almost certain to get into my knickers - cos it makes me soooooooooo horny.
Just thinking about some of the truly stupendous kissing I've experienced is making me horny now ......
excuse me ...
I may be back later ...
or not.
FFS - Thats absurd
We could never do without kissing - in fact we'd go so far as to say that a poor kiss can result in our guest(s) being shown the door.
A kiss is essentail.
A good kiss is desirable.
And a great kiss is almost certain to get into my knickers - cos it makes me soooooooooo horny.
Just thinking about some of the truly stupendous kissing I've experienced is making me horny now ......
excuse me ...
I may be back later ...
or not.
Laff -
when having that conversation with my dad - the whole conversation lasted about 30 secs
Dad - "you're mother says I should talk to you about sex"
small pause
"Always take your shoes and socks off first, cos a guy looks a total pratt running about with just his shoes and socks on"
longer pause
"You want to know anything else?"
longer pause still
"OK - here's a little book - read it and don't ask me anything ever again!"
when having that conversation with my dad - the whole conversation lasted about 30 secs
Dad - "you're mother says I should talk to you about sex"
small pause
"Always take your shoes and socks off first, cos a guy looks a total pratt running about with just his shoes and socks on"
longer pause
"You want to know anything else?"
longer pause still
"OK - here's a little book - read it and don't ask me anything ever again!"
Quote by Funlovers2009
I say "Do you wanna fuck me?" He says "Damn right I do!" I give him a condom he puts it on and we fuck .... simples!!
Yep - straight forward and simple
We couldn't do any other way, as the exact protocol is a well kept secret known only to members of the Royal Family and passed on through the generations.
This has enabled the Royal family to avoid becoming a set of inbred fekwits - hasn't it?
Because we live at the end of a 50 mile cul-de-sac it seems we must travel at least 50 miles just to get our journey started.
And so for us the question of how far we'll travel is an extended one.
But, the answer seems to be about 250 miles or so - which covers and awful lot of the UK mainland.
However for a spur of the moment meet the max is probably about 90 mins from here - which still incorporates lots of Manchester, Liverpool, Chesire & most of North Wales.
For us to travel any greater distance we would almost certainly be meeting someone we already know - Or travelling to somewhere we want to be anyway (that way even if the meet is a bust we still get to see/do something we want to).
Maybe we have been spoilt because a good proportion of our meets have travelled to meet us here - some from very considerable distances indeed - and we are very grateful to those who have made the effort - play or not we think they can all say they had a good and worthwhile visit to one of the UK's most astonishingly beautiful areas.
We have travelled over 2,000 miles to meet someone from the site - but that was just a happy circumstance tbh.
So - how far would we really travel
- it depends is probably the truthful answer.
If someone takes our interest
If somone amuses us
If someone intrigues us
If you capture both our ears and eyes
If you engage your brain and engage ours
If we can't wait to chat to you again
Well then, we'll probably get our arses up off the settee and pop around to your place regardless of exactly where you are.
But, if you're a feckless timewasting arsehole who enjoys stringing others along we'll probably get our arses up off the settee just long enough to load the shotgun.
And so for us the question of how far we'll travel is an extended one.
But, the answer seems to be about 250 miles or so - which covers and awful lot of the UK mainland.
However for a spur of the moment meet the max is probably about 90 mins from here - which still incorporates lots of Manchester, Liverpool, Chesire & most of North Wales.
For us to travel any greater distance we would almost certainly be meeting someone we already know - Or travelling to somewhere we want to be anyway (that way even if the meet is a bust we still get to see/do something we want to).
Maybe we have been spoilt because a good proportion of our meets have travelled to meet us here - some from very considerable distances indeed - and we are very grateful to those who have made the effort - play or not we think they can all say they had a good and worthwhile visit to one of the UK's most astonishingly beautiful areas.
We have travelled over 2,000 miles to meet someone from the site - but that was just a happy circumstance tbh.
So - how far would we really travel
- it depends is probably the truthful answer.
If someone takes our interest
If somone amuses us
If someone intrigues us
If you capture both our ears and eyes
If you engage your brain and engage ours
If we can't wait to chat to you again
Well then, we'll probably get our arses up off the settee and pop around to your place regardless of exactly where you are.
But, if you're a feckless timewasting arsehole who enjoys stringing others along we'll probably get our arses up off the settee just long enough to load the shotgun.
