For Matt.
I miss you, kid!
The road is long
With many a winding turns
That leads us to who knows where,
Who knows where.
But I'm strong,
Strong enough to carry him.
He ain't heavy, he's my brother.
So on we go.
His welfare is of my concern.
No burden is he to bear,
We'll get there.
For I know
He would not encumber me.
He ain't heavy, he's my brother.
If I'm laden at all,
I'm laden with sadness
That everyone's heart
Isn't filled with the gladness
Of love for one another.
It's a long, long road
From which there is no return.
While we're on the way to there,
Why not share?
And the load
Doesn't weigh me down at all.
He ain't heavy, he's my brother.
He's my brother.
He ain't heavy, he's my brother...
This has allegedly been put out by the London Ambulance Service.
I really hope that's true.................it's brilliant!
Would all helpful passers by please note:
If you really must ring for an ambulance for someone you see collapsed/dead/fitting/sat in a shop doorway, please ring then, and not three hours later, by which time – not surprisingly – the deceased has got up and left.
Two adult males sitting outside South Kensington tube station, sharing a bottle of Diamond White cider are NOT collapsed – they are having breakfast/dinner/lunch/a party. Singing, talking, vomiting and belching are all indications that the said males are alive.
Someone who is sitting in a shop doorway when it’s pissing with rain is SHELTERING, not collapsed.
Just because someone with crutches is sitting down, they are not necessarily in need of medical intervention. Having hospital crutches is a clue. They have already been to hospital, and have been discharged.
If you really feel you just have to interfere in the life of a person happily sitting there drinking himself into alcoholic oblivion, when you ask him if he needs an ambulance, please take it as a massive clue when he says “Faaaaaaaaarrrrrrkkkkkk Ovvvvvvvvvvv!!!!!†This is his little way of saying “Thank you for your concern, but I’m
When someone tells you they are fine, and they do not want an ambulance, please, please, please believe them. They are NOT lying – they know what they are doing.
Someone who is staggering between point A and point B CAN walk. The helpful clue is the movement of the legs and feet. If someone tells you that they cannot walk, but their legs are moving, THEY ARE LYING. Don’t believe them.
Green stuff coming from a drunks’ nose is NOT a reason for an emergency ambulance – it is actually a reason for an emergency hankie. Green stuff emanating from the patient’s nose is very rarely Cerebro-Spinal Fluid, despite what you might have learnt from Casualty, ER and Holby City. It is SNOT.
If you see a pair of legs under a car, and the legs are surrounded by mechanic’s tools, the person under the car has NOT been run over – he is more than likely to be FIXING it. Other clues are the radio playing nearby, and the deceased singing along to the music.
Talking of cars, if you happen to see several cars colliding with each other, and you can’t get through to the ambulance service, have a look around you. Yes, the other twenty people with phones stuck to their ears are ALL calling the ambulance service. That’s why you can’t get through. And please tell us the right location – saying you are on Greenford Broadway when you are on Southall Broadway is less than helpful. And please don’t insist you are right and the other twenty callers are wrong – it is highly unlikely.
Oh – and – please do not call the ambulance service if you see 200 people fighting on Fulham Broadway on Friday night. We are not remotely interested, and will not become interested until the police arrive. The police have guns, batons and CS gas, and can deal with a large fight a lot better than two female LAS personnel who are five feet nothing and jointly weigh 12 stone, and are only armed with rubber gloves and a frothy cappuccino from the Wild Bean Cafe. Please ring the police first – we’ll pop along a bit later. Honestly. We will.
Finally – the dictionary meaning of the phrase “passer by†is “A person who happens to be walking past someone or It does not say “A person who stops and interferes. Don't do it Mate - it's not worth it!!
I have got the mother and father of a headache today. It isn't just refusing to shift, it's unpacked its bags and is sitting on the sofa with its feet up.
I do get headaches occasionally but nothing like this.
The only thing I can possibly think may have caused it is that over the last couple of days I have started drinking loads of water. T'other half is always moaning at me about the amount of coffee and coke I drink so I've been trying an alternative.
Am I barking up the wrong tree, or could the change in drinking habits be to blame?
If you could de-invent anything what would it be, and why?
Mine are a toss-up between the Atom bomb and personal bloody stereo's.
The atom bomb, because there would have been no Hiroshima and Nagasaki, and probably no development of today's nuclear weapons, and all the potential for mass destruction that go with them.
The personal stereo because they are just so flipping irritating when you get someone else's crap choice of music second hand.
We visited London recently, and I have to admit, seeing police officers armed with what I assume are some kind of sub-machine gun (apologies to the experts, I don't know much about guns) did make me feel both uneasy and sad. I really don't know if I would like to see every police officer walking around with a gun.
Having said that, when we have visited European countries where the police ARE armed, we certainly haven't witnessed the binge-drinking, mob culture behaviour from the local teenagers that you can see in any town or city here in the UK. Is that because they have respect for/fear of the police?
If I could be sure that arming the police would make our streets a safer place I would be all for it.
If you asked Raz, the Kurdish guy I work with, if Saddam should die.................I think most of you could guess what his answer would be.
Some really interesting responses to my initial question.
I suppose in a way it was a bit of a simplistic question..................I'm sure it's very true that acting in the heat of the moment is totally different to a cold-blooded decision to kill.
So here is a different scenario to consider.
Your child/partner is threatened with death, and the only way to save them is to push a button that will kill a dozen random strangers somewhere in the world. Would you push that button?
If yes, how many would you be prepared to kill?
Would you kill 20? 50? 100? 1,000?
Would there come a point where you wouldn't consider the life of your loved one worth the sacrifice of so many?
ops: :oops: 
