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Minx_N_BigDanny
Over 90 days ago
Straight Male, 52
Bi-curious Female, 55
UK
Forum
Quote by Calista
Thanks for all of the fun banter, sexist gags general man-bashing and innuendo's guys. I have enjoyed it immensly.
However, I still don't have many reasons to send to the ladies that brought this up in the first place and am frankly quite appalled that between us we could not think of more. :lol::lol: ....perhaps the point is that women don't NEED men to provide most of the things that they require, but most do WANT men in their lives.
However, i did notice that not one of the ladies fessed up to being able to tell their left from their right, throw a ball a long way or build an MFI wardrobe. :lol: :lol: :lol: :lol:
Thanks all, and if you think of any more keep 'em coming!.
My left hand is the one that makes the L form from my finger and thumb, I can understand and play cricket (so really can throw a ball and throw stones and hit men too
) and I can assemble Ikea furniture which is like MFI .... I can also understand the mechanics of a motorbike, and strip and rebuild and engine ... I know which end to put oil in the engine and fuel in the tank, I can change my own tyre and I understand the offside rule ...Is that good enough???
I need a man ... unfortunately he's not here right now
:twisted: :twisted: :twisted: :twisted:
Damnit Callista! You are ruining my list! You sound like the perfect woman...
LittleGem, I am glad he is there for you hun....that is something special. Long may it last!
What about that one then....the musky smell....can I add that to the list d'ya think? :P
Thanks for all of the fun banter, sexist gags general man-bashing and innuendo's guys. I have enjoyed it immensly.
However, I still don't have many reasons to send to the ladies that brought this up in the first place and am frankly quite appalled that between us we could not think of more. :lol: :lol: ....perhaps the point is that women don't NEED men to provide most of the things that they require, but most do WANT men in their lives.
However, i did notice that not one of the ladies fessed up to being able to tell their left from their right, throw a ball a long way or build an MFI wardrobe. :lol: :lol: :lol: :lol:
Thanks all, and if you think of any more keep 'em coming!.
However, I still don't have many reasons to send to the ladies that brought this up in the first place and am frankly quite appalled that between us we could not think of more. :lol:
:lol: ....perhaps the point is that women don't NEED men to provide most of the things that they require, but most do WANT men in their lives.However, i did notice that not one of the ladies fessed up to being able to tell their left from their right, throw a ball a long way or build an MFI wardrobe. :lol: :lol: :lol: :lol:
Thanks all, and if you think of any more keep 'em coming!.
"Bless me Father, for I have sinned. I have been with a loose woman."
The priest asks, "Is that you, little Tommy Shaughnessy?"
"Yes, Father, it is"
"And, who was the woman you were with?"
"I can't be tellin' you, Father. I don't want to be ruining her reputation."
"Well, Tommy, I'm sure to find out sooner or later, so you may as well tell
me now.
Was it Brenda O'Malley?"
"I cannot say."
"Was it Patricia Kelly?"
"I'll never tell."
"Was it Liz Shannon?"
"I'm sorry, but I'll not name her."
"Was it Cathy Morgan?"
"My lips are sealed."
"Was it Fiona McDonald, then?"
"Please, Father, I cannot tell you."
The priest sighs in frustration.
"You're a steadfast lad, Tommy Shaughnessy, and I admire that. But you've
sinned, and you must atone.
You cannot attend church for three months.
Be off with you now."
Tommy walks back to his pew. His friend Sean slides over and whispers, "What
did you get?"
Tommy replied, "Three month's vacation and five good leads."
SORRY BLONDES!
-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
One day a girl comes home from School and says to her Mummy “Mummy, I can count to 20 when all of the other girls can only count to 10, is that because I am Blonde?â€. “Yes dear, it is because you are Blonde darling†Replies her Mum.
The next day she comes home, “Mummy, I can do a Handstand but none of the other girls in my class can do a handstand. Is that because I am Blonde?â€
Again, Mummy replies, “Yes dear, that is because you are Blonde†and ruffles her hair.
The following day she comes home. “Mummy, after PE we were in the showers and I noticed that I have much bigger boobies than the other girls. Is that because I am Blonde?â€
“No dearâ€, replies her Mum. “That’s because you are 25!â€
-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Joe took his blind date to the carnival. "What would you like to do first, Kim?" asked Joe. I want to get weighed," she said. They ambled over to the weight guesser. He guessed 120 pounds. She got on the scale; it read 117 and she won a prize. Next, the couple went on the Ferris Wheel. When the ride was over, Joe again asked Kim what she would like to do.
"I want to get weighed," she said.
Back to the weight guesser they went. Since they had been there before, he guessed her correct weight, and Joe lost his dollar. The couple walked around the carnival and again he asked where to next. "I want to get weighed," she responded.
By this time, Joe figured she was really weird and took her home early, dropping her off with a handshake. Her roommate, Laura, asked her about the blind date, "How'd it go?" Kim responded, "Oh, Waura, it was wousy."
------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Blondy Stand Right Here
A blonde had just gotten a new sports car and was out for a drive when she accidentally cut off a truck driver. He motioned for her to pull over.
When she did, he got out of his truck and pulled a piece of chalk from his pocket.
He drew a circle on the side of the road and gruffly commanded to the blonde,
'Stand in that circle and DON'T MOVE!'.
He then went to her car and cut up her leather seats.
When he turned around she had a slight grin on her face, so he said, 'Oh you think that's funny? Watch this!'
He gets a baseball bat out of his truck and breaks every window in her car.
When he turns and looks at her she has a smile on her face.
He is getting really mad. He gets his knife back out and slices all her tires.
Now she's laughing.
The truck driver is really starting to lose it. He goes back to his truck and gets a can of gas, pours it on her car and sets it on fire.
He turns around and she is laughing so hard she is about to fall down.
'What's so funny?' the truck driver asked the blonde.
She replied, 'Every time you weren't looking, I stepped outside the circle!!
The priest asks, "Is that you, little Tommy Shaughnessy?"
"Yes, Father, it is"
"And, who was the woman you were with?"
"I can't be tellin' you, Father. I don't want to be ruining her reputation."
"Well, Tommy, I'm sure to find out sooner or later, so you may as well tell
me now.
Was it Brenda O'Malley?"
"I cannot say."
"Was it Patricia Kelly?"
"I'll never tell."
"Was it Liz Shannon?"
"I'm sorry, but I'll not name her."
"Was it Cathy Morgan?"
"My lips are sealed."
"Was it Fiona McDonald, then?"
"Please, Father, I cannot tell you."
The priest sighs in frustration.
"You're a steadfast lad, Tommy Shaughnessy, and I admire that. But you've
sinned, and you must atone.
You cannot attend church for three months.
Be off with you now."
Tommy walks back to his pew. His friend Sean slides over and whispers, "What
did you get?"
Tommy replied, "Three month's vacation and five good leads."
SORRY BLONDES!
-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
One day a girl comes home from School and says to her Mummy “Mummy, I can count to 20 when all of the other girls can only count to 10, is that because I am Blonde?â€. “Yes dear, it is because you are Blonde darling†Replies her Mum.
The next day she comes home, “Mummy, I can do a Handstand but none of the other girls in my class can do a handstand. Is that because I am Blonde?â€
Again, Mummy replies, “Yes dear, that is because you are Blonde†and ruffles her hair.
The following day she comes home. “Mummy, after PE we were in the showers and I noticed that I have much bigger boobies than the other girls. Is that because I am Blonde?â€
“No dearâ€, replies her Mum. “That’s because you are 25!â€
-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Joe took his blind date to the carnival. "What would you like to do first, Kim?" asked Joe. I want to get weighed," she said. They ambled over to the weight guesser. He guessed 120 pounds. She got on the scale; it read 117 and she won a prize. Next, the couple went on the Ferris Wheel. When the ride was over, Joe again asked Kim what she would like to do.
"I want to get weighed," she said.
Back to the weight guesser they went. Since they had been there before, he guessed her correct weight, and Joe lost his dollar. The couple walked around the carnival and again he asked where to next. "I want to get weighed," she responded.
By this time, Joe figured she was really weird and took her home early, dropping her off with a handshake. Her roommate, Laura, asked her about the blind date, "How'd it go?" Kim responded, "Oh, Waura, it was wousy."
------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Blondy Stand Right Here
A blonde had just gotten a new sports car and was out for a drive when she accidentally cut off a truck driver. He motioned for her to pull over.
When she did, he got out of his truck and pulled a piece of chalk from his pocket.
He drew a circle on the side of the road and gruffly commanded to the blonde,
'Stand in that circle and DON'T MOVE!'.
He then went to her car and cut up her leather seats.
When he turned around she had a slight grin on her face, so he said, 'Oh you think that's funny? Watch this!'
He gets a baseball bat out of his truck and breaks every window in her car.
When he turns and looks at her she has a smile on her face.
He is getting really mad. He gets his knife back out and slices all her tires.
Now she's laughing.
The truck driver is really starting to lose it. He goes back to his truck and gets a can of gas, pours it on her car and sets it on fire.
He turns around and she is laughing so hard she is about to fall down.
'What's so funny?' the truck driver asked the blonde.
She replied, 'Every time you weren't looking, I stepped outside the circle!!
Hey all,
I was out on Saturday night with a friend of mine (I missed the much and was consoling myself with a huge amount of alcahol) and we got talking to a couple of ladies who were very obviously in to each-other.
it may have been the fact that they were snogging in a dark corner for nearly and hour that gave it away... :twisted:
Obviously, this peaked our interest, and when the oppertune moment came, we sauntered over for a chat.
After a conversation about how lovely it is to se two ladies so obviously in lust, I asked why they had decided to go for eachother rather than the 600 or so fine male specimens in the club...the reply I got was this.
"We have eachother and we both have a rabbit...why do we need men?!!??"!
My mate and I feigned offense at this comment and started to produce a list of why women need men...unfortunatley, after 7 or 8 reasons, we ran out!
Now, I am sure we have missed many good reasons and I was hoping that you guys and girls out there could help me out on some more....I have their email addresses and will contact them with the finalised list....please help!
.
What we have so far is...
Sperm for Procreation. Obviously
To mow the lawn..
To fix the roof/plumbing/electrics etc
To work the remote properly...
To advize women how to drive correctly (struggling now....)
errrm.....to change light-bulbs...
To play rugby and wear tight shorts....
That is it. I am sure that we came up with more sensible ones at the time, but I cannot remember them now....
I was out on Saturday night with a friend of mine (I missed the much and was consoling myself with a huge amount of alcahol) and we got talking to a couple of ladies who were very obviously in to each-other.
it may have been the fact that they were snogging in a dark corner for nearly and hour that gave it away... :twisted:
Obviously, this peaked our interest, and when the oppertune moment came, we sauntered over for a chat.
After a conversation about how lovely it is to se two ladies so obviously in lust, I asked why they had decided to go for eachother rather than the 600 or so fine male specimens in the club...the reply I got was this.
"We have eachother and we both have a rabbit...why do we need men?!!??"!
My mate and I feigned offense at this comment and started to produce a list of why women need men...unfortunatley, after 7 or 8 reasons, we ran out!
Now, I am sure we have missed many good reasons and I was hoping that you guys and girls out there could help me out on some more....I have their email addresses and will contact them with the finalised list....please help!
.What we have so far is...
Sperm for Procreation. Obviously
To mow the lawn..
To fix the roof/plumbing/electrics etc
To work the remote properly...
To advize women how to drive correctly (struggling now....)
errrm.....to change light-bulbs...
To play rugby and wear tight shorts....
That is it. I am sure that we came up with more sensible ones at the time, but I cannot remember them now....
Quote by Vix
Don't fret Dan.
You know, that SE lot are probably too smart and fast for us SW lot anyroad.
How close are you to Glastonbury? I need to know for purely scientific reasons, ya know.
Hey Vix, Actually I am originally from East London, so I am just as fast and smart as the SE lot with all the refinement and inability to negotiate roundabouts as the SW lot!!
Glastonbury? I can be there in an hour (in the name of science of course)!
Kristof - No need to worry mate, the ladies all seem to say that size doesn't matter. Isn't that right girls?
Anyway, it is not so good being this tall when you bump your head on traffic lights....bus shelters...every doorway ever made... :doh:
SunBunny - I do feel at home and I am already addicted!
As for the arse thing, people generally say I "have a nice arse"...then they generally say " it is a shame it is on his shoulders" - Hence my avatar!!
Anyway, it is not so good being this tall when you bump your head on traffic lights....bus shelters...every doorway ever made... :doh:
SunBunny - I do feel at home and I am already addicted!
As for the arse thing, people generally say I "have a nice arse"...then they generally say " it is a shame it is on his shoulders" - Hence my avatar!! Personall, my perfect ad would be....
"Hi, we are three gorgeous models who live in a superb penthouse on the beautiful island of Barbados and we are fed up of having no-one to watch us play with eachother and need a man (with a camera) to fill us up.
We are looking for a guy over 6'8" tall who is just WE, not VWE and answers to the name of Danny.
We are willing to pay for your flight and put you up here for the week although we would be happy if you stay longer.
We will supply copious amounts of beer and brandy, which you would be required to lick off us at regular intervals.
We all support Arsenal and think that cockney accents are adorable."
But I would be more than happy to settle for.....
"Hi,
I live near you, come and get me".
:twisted:
"Hi, we are three gorgeous models who live in a superb penthouse on the beautiful island of Barbados and we are fed up of having no-one to watch us play with eachother and need a man (with a camera) to fill us up.
We are looking for a guy over 6'8" tall who is just WE, not VWE and answers to the name of Danny.
We are willing to pay for your flight and put you up here for the week although we would be happy if you stay longer.
We will supply copious amounts of beer and brandy, which you would be required to lick off us at regular intervals.
We all support Arsenal and think that cockney accents are adorable."
But I would be more than happy to settle for.....
"Hi,
I live near you, come and get me".
:twisted:
Any cuddle-aholics that need a big hug on a wet Wednesday night is free to pop around.
I have to say, if you are talking about cuddling, I absolutley love it. There is no better way to fall asleep that with a lovely woman laying on your shoulders, or spooning (that way there is easy access if sleep does not come easily) :twisted:
While I am here, and this is my first thread, I would like to make my comments on the forum, the posts I have read so far......you are all mad! (especially vix...you a funny lady)although Venus comes a cloes second.
it is not often that I laugh out loud at a couple of lines of text, but I have today...perhaps I shouldn't log on while I am at work....
I think I may be spending less time in the chat room and more in the forum from now on....
Fanks one and all for giving me a giggle.
I have to say, if you are talking about cuddling, I absolutley love it. There is no better way to fall asleep that with a lovely woman laying on your shoulders, or spooning (that way there is easy access if sleep does not come easily) :twisted:
While I am here, and this is my first thread, I would like to make my comments on the forum, the posts I have read so far......you are all mad! (especially vix...you a funny lady)although Venus comes a cloes second.
it is not often that I laugh out loud at a couple of lines of text, but I have today...perhaps I shouldn't log on while I am at work....
I think I may be spending less time in the chat room and more in the forum from now on....
Fanks one and all for giving me a giggle.
Thank you all for your responses so far...and for not being mean to me...yet!
OK, Q&A.
Voddy, do I have a cute bum? The answer to that is YES!! and no. It depends on whether you go on looks or feel? :P besides, I can't see it myself although it does occasionally get pinched when I am in the pub. I have warned that landlord before.....!
Dawn_Mids, sorry. Very sorry, please don't spank me any more....mistress....oh go on then!
Jas-Tim, I do cuddles, bear hugs, snuggles, spoons, sleep-overs.....
OK, Q&A.
Voddy, do I have a cute bum? The answer to that is YES!! and no. It depends on whether you go on looks or feel? :P besides, I can't see it myself although it does occasionally get pinched when I am in the pub. I have warned that landlord before.....!
Dawn_Mids, sorry. Very sorry, please don't spank me any more....mistress....oh go on then!
Jas-Tim, I do cuddles, bear hugs, snuggles, spoons, sleep-overs.....
Hi Vix,
Be careful that they don't go through the toilet paper!! (sorry, a bit sick I know)
Also, you may that you need ot cut the ends off your gloves! lol
Great site by the way, you look brill in the pics.
I didn't know MS was such a debilitating disease.
I got an education as well as a hard on!! :twisted: What a great start to the day!
Petition signed, I hope it goes well.
BigDanny
Be careful that they don't go through the toilet paper!! (sorry, a bit sick I know)
Also, you may that you need ot cut the ends off your gloves! lol
Great site by the way, you look brill in the pics.
I didn't know MS was such a debilitating disease.
I got an education as well as a hard on!! :twisted: What a great start to the day!
Petition signed, I hope it goes well.
BigDanny
.....Unless you are going to say Hi to me!
Sorry, it is the only way I could think of to get people to read my post!
Now that I have got your attention.....
Hello,
I am pretty new to the site, a week and a half to be precise, and I thought it was time that I introduced myself.
I am Danny, although those of you who have been in the Chat Room between 11pm and 1am for the last week or so will know me as BigDanny12999.
I am 6' 9" tall (yes I know, I should be in a circus) which is why the "BigDanny" nick and not because I am trying to say I have a big 'un. lol
I am a 31 year old, str8 fella who has recently split from a partner and has decided to try and fulfill my long term fantasies of watching and joining in with couples and thought I would come direct to the source . Seriously though, I have joined because I thought I would check out the "seedy life of sex" to find out what the fuss is all about.
What my last 10 days or so of chatting to people in the chat room is that the so called Seedy life is full of nice friendly people, loving couples and a couple of people who's lack of sexual inhibitions both scare and delight me! (along with the odd obligitory transient knob-heads of course).
I was extremley nervous going into the chat room for the first time, especially as a single bloke, but after a few unsuccessful attempts to push my way into the fast moving conversations (it takes a while for your eyes to get used to scolling that quickly doesn't it!?) I was given a warm welcome by most, with one person in particular making the effort to get me into the conversation (You know who you are!)!
Since then, I have been in most nights and have come to know a few of the regulars and have enjoyed the banter a lot. There are some funny people on there! Seriously!
PM's interest me and Just so that you know, I am not adverse to anyone pm'ing me for a civilized conversation or otherwise!
So far I have had a couple of PM's that were nice with people I have met in the room, but these have all been requested by myself.
The only people that pm'd me (without asking if you don't mind!) were twohorneyguysuk, who for some reason wanted to "use me as their double-adaptor", which I respectfully declined.
Anyway, I am sorry to make this so long, I would just like to thank you all of you who have said hello to me and to those that haven't had a chance yet, I hope to speak with you soon.
BigDanny12999
:D :D :D :D :twisted: :D
Sorry, it is the only way I could think of to get people to read my post!
Now that I have got your attention.....
Hello,
I am pretty new to the site, a week and a half to be precise, and I thought it was time that I introduced myself.
I am Danny, although those of you who have been in the Chat Room between 11pm and 1am for the last week or so will know me as BigDanny12999.
I am 6' 9" tall (yes I know, I should be in a circus) which is why the "BigDanny" nick and not because I am trying to say I have a big 'un. lol
I am a 31 year old, str8 fella who has recently split from a partner and has decided to try and fulfill my long term fantasies of watching and joining in with couples and thought I would come direct to the source
. Seriously though, I have joined because I thought I would check out the "seedy life of sex" to find out what the fuss is all about.What my last 10 days or so of chatting to people in the chat room is that the so called Seedy life is full of nice friendly people, loving couples and a couple of people who's lack of sexual inhibitions both scare and delight me! (along with the odd obligitory transient knob-heads of course).
I was extremley nervous going into the chat room for the first time, especially as a single bloke, but after a few unsuccessful attempts to push my way into the fast moving conversations (it takes a while for your eyes to get used to scolling that quickly doesn't it!?) I was given a warm welcome by most, with one person in particular making the effort to get me into the conversation (You know who you are!)!
Since then, I have been in most nights and have come to know a few of the regulars and have enjoyed the banter a lot. There are some funny people on there! Seriously!
PM's interest me and Just so that you know, I am not adverse to anyone pm'ing me for a civilized conversation or otherwise!
So far I have had a couple of PM's that were nice with people I have met in the room, but these have all been requested by myself.
The only people that pm'd me (without asking if you don't mind!) were twohorneyguysuk, who for some reason wanted to "use me as their double-adaptor", which I respectfully declined.
Anyway, I am sorry to make this so long, I would just like to thank you all of you who have said hello to me and to those that haven't had a chance yet, I hope to speak with you soon.
BigDanny12999
:D :D :D :D :twisted: :D
