I'm just waiting to see if we get any more views or opinions.......
:confused2:
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Morbius
Over 90 days ago
Straight Male, 53
Bisexual Female, 53
0 miles · Derby
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Orgasminator
Quote by makingcocoa
the way I see it is that you're being invited to share a part of a relationship, perhaps only a small part and only temporarily, but that relationship has to be one you like and admire and respect, in the same way that you would only sleep with a single person you liked / admired / respected.
Well said.
I understand and totally agree with what you say/where your coming from here. The flip side is true for the couple. When I/we invited to join us thats how we look at it. Its actually asking a lot of them - to feel safe/happy/free enough to become a part of an already close relationship, albeit temporarilly. I made the point earlier that was picked up on by phil_osepherthat we're not looking at adding a perminant #3 to the relationship, but that doesn't mean that if the right combination was found that we would refuse that opportunity for 'ongoing' fun. Again only speaking from our point of view, its not a 'wam bam, thank you maam', meet a SBF, get to know a SBF, have fun with said SBF and then throw her away. If we all click and enjoy the experience, why shouldn't it be repeated?
Quote by H-x
I think this is part on my problem, I find it hard enough to find a single person with whom I share these qualities, the expectations from a couple that you should be twice that is a little too much.
I think thats the point i was trying to make earlier with the, 'i have my ideal' comment. It wasn't ment to belittle the SBF but simply show that I/we aren't looking for someone to enter the marriage as #3, therefore they don't necessarilly have to filfill our 'ideal' criteria. As long as the 3 of us click and can have fun there can be some 'ideal' boxes unticked. As an example, I don't smoke, personally i can't stand the smell (personal opinion, not judging others) and i certainly wouldn't live with a smoker. My folks smoked for years and i hated it. However, it wouldn't/hasn't stopped me playing with people that smoke.
Quote by Darkfire
and in the same breath, you'd hope that someone would only play with you because they like/ admire/ respect you - and not just because your single, you're swing both ways and you're female
Hopefully that would be demonstrated by the couple either knowing you before hand, or wanting to get to know you before jumping into bed. Like i've said before, its about making friends and then having fun.
Quote by Darkfire
In edit : I've just re-read that, and it is one of my big 'gripes' about the lifestyle, because I'm now sat here waiting for someone of the other school of thought to come and flame me for not wanting a quick shag, for wanting to know people's names before I play with them, for going to somewhere like Chams simply cos I want to, not because i'm there to use the playrooms, and for not spreading my legs at every available opportunity, ya know?
In fact, its exactly this difference in the way some people think about 'swinging' that often makes me wonder if I truly am a 'swinger' - the great 'predominantly social side vs nsa shag' debate :lol: Maybe I'm just too damn picky/ expect too much/ have too high an 'expectation' of what 'swinging' is to truly experience 'swinging' as others see it?
I have to agree, there are very much at least 2 types of swinger, if not more. We, like you, like to get to know someone first before getting down and intimate. There are those where, they may not say it out loud or admit it, but show it in their attitude, that swinging is almost a matter of 'knotches on bedposts' or 'quick shag, thanks for the fun and move on', and no doubt there are other types, ie those that only play at clubs or parties etc. If we are a tollerant community then we can not complain that other people have differing outlooks than ourselves, we simply have to accept that and either we (as either couples or singles regardless of 'group') are prepared to sometimes conceed that we may like the look of someone who is not looking for the same thing we are and 'rule them out' or we think 'ok they don't want what I/we want but I/we would still like to have some fun with them'. Its like paradoxinpink said.. sometimes we have to be willing to change 'ideals' if we want fun.
If you don't want to change, in that you have your set of 'rules'/boundaries/criteria that you will not change for anyone, then that again is fine, you may just have to accept that opportunities may be more limited.
In the main i think this thread shows that its vitally important for couples/singles/groups, whatever, to get to know each other more and be tollerant. When all is said and done we're all here to have fun (apart from the bosses who are here for the money :twisted: sorry guys couldn't resist lol) and no-one is forcing anyone else to do anything they are not comfortable with.
Can I just say in edit that having read through this when I say 'you' i'm not necessarilly speaking directly to and blaming/accusing/telling the person i've quoted how or what to do, its a general 'you' as in 'you/me/everybody'
Orgasminator
Quote by Calista
Because of you we ALL got deactivated for the afternoon :giggle:
:dunno: :sticky: Don't blame me, i've just resurfaced from a pile of books!!!! lmao
Liar Liar Pants on Fire ...
You've been watching tv with me for at least 90 minutes!!!!
Watching CSI does not count as revision!!!!!
:evil2:
Cx
Its a FORENSIC exam!!!!!!
What better revision is there than sitting watchin a TV programme and pulling the science of it to shreds!?!?!?! :smug: :smile2: :giggle:
Orgasminator
Quote by Sarah
sneaks in for a quick look..........
:moon::grin:
Like Darkfire has said sod off and go do your revision, you will thank us in the long run.
Failing that I know a very friendly Mod, who has a deactivate button and will use it!!
Morbius
Because of you we ALL got deactivated for the afternoon :giggle:
:dunno: :sticky: Don't blame me, i've just resurfaced from a pile of books!!!! lmao
Orgasminator
Quote by Darkfire
i was just sitting here, contemplating my illusive and superior status....(yeh right......)
so i wondered....what exactly do you want in a single bi female?
its just a discussion point.....afterall....were forever discussing what single men need to do to improve their chances....so why not turn it around?
I'm bumping this bit of the original post, cos now I'm really interested in what people think
and Morb, you are banned from answering
man can not live on revision alone but i will :gagged: and see what others say.
Quote by Mal
When's this dissertation due? Easier enough to keep you off the site until it's finished!!
Let me know
Mal
(PS - good luck with it!)
Dissertations done, its only revision now
lol Orgasminator
OK...
Just a quick one, I'm supposed to be revising for my next exam on Thursday :notes: lol...
Thanks Sexkittenhfx, DF and paradoxinpink for your contribution, and poshkate - look forward to your views as/when you have time.
I would hope that people wouldnt do that, its not only a waste of your time but theirs also
I think that these are very valid points. I/we always get to know a person/couple before we even consider swinging with them. I do think that sometimes initial contact from one party to another can be misinterpreted. I/we have sent initial PMs to people before and had no reply at all. Now there may be a number of reasons for this i know:-
1) the other party are just not interested - I/we are not their sort. Fine, each to their own, its not a problem.
2) the other party is inundated and hasn't had the chance to reply - I would imagine that the SBFs out there are swamped with messages daily so again thats understandable. But...
3) this is what i mean when i said that i think that sometimes an approach to a couple or SBF can be misinterpreted. I/we (again I can only speak for the way i/we go about things) may send out an initial "Hi saw your ad/profile, you look like fun ect ect...... we'd love to get to know you ect ect.... heres our details" kind of message. I have the feeling that sometime that kind of approachis takenas a "I/we've seen your ad, we want to get your detail and jump into bed". That may be the case with some, but not us. If/when we send an approach out its a "lets get to know each other" message, online, socially, as friends and then see where it goes.
As I've said before, we're here to make friends and if there are 'added bonuses' then great, if not - we've made new friends.
I think anyone who always expects an initial approach to lead to bed 'at the drop of a hat' is fooling themselves. I think most of us have 'real life' to deal with
lol
This I think is the bit that tells us about you and your desires/needs the most, its the bit that says "this is the bit that me and a person is looking for, regardless of if I'm a SBF or not". This is whatwe as couples need to know, find out about the people on here we may consider approaching, its what makes you YOU not a token SBF. thank you.
ok.... DF hun....your turn
lol
Firstly, again, thank you for your honest insight. I think the majority of your post is exactly what couples looking for a SBF need to know about YOU. It reveals what your needs/desire and likes are and then a couple can look at themselves and see if the fun they are looking for coincides with what your looking for. Then and only then can a decision be reached by all 3 parties as to whether your/our goals are compatible.
I agree. For example We once had a great couple stop with us for the weekend. The general concesus was that we were going to play at some point over the weekend. It was a munch weekend and by the time we got back and finished chatting the time was flying by. We ended up basically soft swinging.. even though a full swap was 'available' (for want of a better word).
This isn't ment as a 'look what we've done', just an example of where NOTHING should be taken for granted. You may spend a while getting to know each other online, meet socially to see if you click ect ect, but its not until you get down to the actual 'playing' that you know for sure that your all comfortable and get on physically. So to assume fun/penetration is guarenteed is a folly IMHO.
Again i think this is important. Its difficault to describe how, as a couple, we think (about looking for a SBF) because putting it into words isn't easy without causing offense before i can fully explain what i mean. Firstly when/if we're looking for 'a' SBF yes we are looking for 'a' SBF. I dont mean here 'anything will do as i've already got my 'ideal' therefore it doesn't matter' kind of thing. What i mean is we are looking for a PERSON who falls into the category of a SBF, because what we're looking for is a female to join in with us in some sexy fun, not just with me as the male but also so Cal can enjoy her bi side and there can be a full on 3 way set of fun. To fulfill this we look for 'a' SBF.
Then when we have seen 'a SBF' who we like the look/sound of, we'd get to know them, as a person. We may have found a person who looks like what we're looking for, but until we have talked, maybe even met up and had a drink and a laugh, really found out what THEY want from an 'encounter' then we wont know if we're looking for the same things. I think it comes back to what i said earlier about approaches being misinterpreted. An approach by us (again I can only say what is relivent for us) doesn't mean that we expect the person if they reply, to jump into bed. Its an approch to get to know you.
Now paradoxinpink :twisted:
Firstly, the comments i'm making here are personal observation, thought. My replies are aimed at, hopefully, letting people know me by repling to your thoughts, i don't mean this to be an advert (I just know that as i read the post certain things sprang into mind that i wanted to say but i'm very well aware it may be taken as a kind of ad or 'look at me, come get me' and its not ment that way)
I think this is an important observation. I think that when looking to include a person/couple into any regular relationship your very rarely if ever going to find exactly what your looking for. Its important to be flexible and willing to prehaps exhange your 'ideals' in the interest of having fun, but still remembering what your boundaries are. Theres no point doing something you don't enjoy - at the end of the day its about having FUN.
She's obviously not seen the photos of my ass after Blues party last year :twisted: 
:crazy: lmao But seriously I can understand where your coming from, but do agree that its a striking generalisation, and the some straight males may be open to more kinky fun than others.
I suppose this is difficult - I can understand that, just as a couple will have their 'checklist' if you like of characteristics ect that they are looking for in a SBF or other couple, so a SBF will have likewise. I must admit that as yet i've just read your ad (will PM you later to chat about a couple of bits in private if thats ok). In your ad you say, as you do above, that you are 'looking for a bi couple, where both parties are bi'. I totally appreciate that this is your perogative, but above (in bold) you seem to suggest you'd be open to a 'straight' male/bi fem couple as long as the male is open to 'pushing boundaries' for want of a better term (again NOT a criticism just an observation). For me, its info like that that is important, its that kind of imfo that tell us a lot. Myself, i would say i'm straight, but i'm not homophobic, sqeemish or going to run a mile from male contact.
For chris sake i got a good whipping off a butch TV lol. But there doent exist a category for a male to say he is 'stright but open to more kinky play and willing to push his boundaries with the right person if all got on and felt relaxed' lol I'm not bi - at this moment in time i enjoy the female of the species and male contact of a strong sexual nature doesn't excite me, not to say it never will. But to say i'm a rigid 'straight' male also doesnt hit the mark. So i can see there can be difficulties. A straight male/bi fem couple like us may not contact you even if the rest of your ad really appeals, because the male isnt a 'full blown' bi.
The rest of your reply, as with the others are good personal indicators and show couples what your looking for beyond your advert.
I think in the main this goes to show just how difficault it is to write a good ad. We've all seen the 'this is us, conatct us if your interested' ads. But just how much of what info should we all include?? It a difficult one.
I for one certain very the SBF as a cheerished 'class'. Not all are going to fit the ideas of what I/we would be looking for when we consider having fun as a 3 some, but as a 'group' I think you are important and no just pieces of meat or trophies. Its a pity that it can come across as this, from my point of view i hope I don't give that impression. As i've said before. at the end of the day, we (Cali and I) are here to make friends. We have made some real great freinds, some we have had fun with, other we hope to have fun with and still other we may not want to have fun with for whatever reason, but they are still friends. We are a community here and I think that tollerance and acceptance are the most important issues.
My god what a post!!! sorry for boring you all, my mind anf fingers went into disseration mode lol. My last thoughts (for now lol) are that i just want to reitterate that these are my thoughts and are not ment to offend anyone, if any of them do I APPOLOGISE NOW.
Just a quick one, I'm supposed to be revising for my next exam on Thursday :notes: lol...
Thanks Sexkittenhfx, DF and paradoxinpink for your contribution, and poshkate - look forward to your views as/when you have time.
Quote by sexkittenhfx
do read my profile and ad
dont contact me if im not your type
I would hope that people wouldnt do that, its not only a waste of your time but theirs also
Quote by sexkittenhfx
do compliment me, as i will you, but dont go overboard, i wont be able to live up to it!
do be friendly and talk to me when you see me online or at socials
be yourself, be relaxed and let things happen naturally
I think that these are very valid points. I/we always get to know a person/couple before we even consider swinging with them. I do think that sometimes initial contact from one party to another can be misinterpreted. I/we have sent initial PMs to people before and had no reply at all. Now there may be a number of reasons for this i know:-
1) the other party are just not interested - I/we are not their sort. Fine, each to their own, its not a problem.
2) the other party is inundated and hasn't had the chance to reply - I would imagine that the SBFs out there are swamped with messages daily so again thats understandable. But...
3) this is what i mean when i said that i think that sometimes an approach to a couple or SBF can be misinterpreted. I/we (again I can only speak for the way i/we go about things) may send out an initial "Hi saw your ad/profile, you look like fun ect ect...... we'd love to get to know you ect ect.... heres our details" kind of message. I have the feeling that sometime that kind of approachis takenas a "I/we've seen your ad, we want to get your detail and jump into bed". That may be the case with some, but not us. If/when we send an approach out its a "lets get to know each other" message, online, socially, as friends and then see where it goes.
As I've said before, we're here to make friends and if there are 'added bonuses' then great, if not - we've made new friends.
Quote by sexkittenhfx
dont get upset with me when i say i cant make it
dont expect me to be able to (or want to) meet you at the drop of a hatdo remember that im as nervous as you are
and remember im not lounging about in a lacey number waiting for sexy fun 24/7....sometimes i go to work! or clean the house! or go out and do things! lol
I think anyone who always expects an initial approach to lead to bed 'at the drop of a hat' is fooling themselves. I think most of us have 'real life' to deal with
lolQuote by sexkittenhfx
dont ask me to only play with one of you....
yes im bi but i choose to meet couples becasue i also like the male involvement - key word here...threesome
This I think is the bit that tells us about you and your desires/needs the most, its the bit that says "this is the bit that me and a person is looking for, regardless of if I'm a SBF or not". This is whatwe as couples need to know, find out about the people on here we may consider approaching, its what makes you YOU not a token SBF. thank you.
ok.... DF hun....your turn
lolFirstly, again, thank you for your honest insight. I think the majority of your post is exactly what couples looking for a SBF need to know about YOU. It reveals what your needs/desire and likes are and then a couple can look at themselves and see if the fun they are looking for coincides with what your looking for. Then and only then can a decision be reached by all 3 parties as to whether your/our goals are compatible.
Quote by Darkfire
My ad does state that I would primarily be looking to play (soft swing) rather than shag the bloke of a couple. That includes just about anything (in edit: exept feet
I agree. For example We once had a great couple stop with us for the weekend. The general concesus was that we were going to play at some point over the weekend. It was a munch weekend and by the time we got back and finished chatting the time was flying by. We ended up basically soft swinging.. even though a full swap was 'available' (for want of a better word).
This isn't ment as a 'look what we've done', just an example of where NOTHING should be taken for granted. You may spend a while getting to know each other online, meet socially to see if you click ect ect, but its not until you get down to the actual 'playing' that you know for sure that your all comfortable and get on physically. So to assume fun/penetration is guarenteed is a folly IMHO.
Quote by Darkfire
Add onto that the fact I want to play with couples who want to play with 'Darkfire' not just another sbf.... and I seriously have my work cut out! :lol:
Again i think this is important. Its difficault to describe how, as a couple, we think (about looking for a SBF) because putting it into words isn't easy without causing offense before i can fully explain what i mean. Firstly when/if we're looking for 'a' SBF yes we are looking for 'a' SBF. I dont mean here 'anything will do as i've already got my 'ideal' therefore it doesn't matter' kind of thing. What i mean is we are looking for a PERSON who falls into the category of a SBF, because what we're looking for is a female to join in with us in some sexy fun, not just with me as the male but also so Cal can enjoy her bi side and there can be a full on 3 way set of fun. To fulfill this we look for 'a' SBF.
Then when we have seen 'a SBF' who we like the look/sound of, we'd get to know them, as a person. We may have found a person who looks like what we're looking for, but until we have talked, maybe even met up and had a drink and a laugh, really found out what THEY want from an 'encounter' then we wont know if we're looking for the same things. I think it comes back to what i said earlier about approaches being misinterpreted. An approach by us (again I can only say what is relivent for us) doesn't mean that we expect the person if they reply, to jump into bed. Its an approch to get to know you.
Now paradoxinpink :twisted:
Firstly, the comments i'm making here are personal observation, thought. My replies are aimed at, hopefully, letting people know me by repling to your thoughts, i don't mean this to be an advert (I just know that as i read the post certain things sprang into mind that i wanted to say but i'm very well aware it may be taken as a kind of ad or 'look at me, come get me' and its not ment that way)
Quote by paradoxinpink
As someone who is primarily a fetishist I am looking for a certain type of person/people to "swing" with. As someone on the "edge" (in more ways than one lol) I appreciate that most of the people who reply to me are not going to be exactly what I am looking for. I am prepared to compromise but not to the extent where I am going to engage in actibvities that are "not my thing".
I think this is an important observation. I think that when looking to include a person/couple into any regular relationship your very rarely if ever going to find exactly what your looking for. Its important to be flexible and willing to prehaps exhange your 'ideals' in the interest of having fun, but still remembering what your boundaries are. Theres no point doing something you don't enjoy - at the end of the day its about having FUN.
Quote by paradoxinpink
In my ad I state that I am looking for bi couples. You might think well why does the male half have to be bi if your a single fem? well, I am generalising madly here but in my experience straight males are much less likely to be open for exploration in the fetish scene than bi males. I feel more comfortable with bi males generally, they are more likely to be up for arse play like strap on domination or whipping than straight men --- actually I cant name one straight man in my life who would let himself be dominated in such a way lolol.
She's obviously not seen the photos of my ass after Blues party last year
:twisted: :crazy: lmao But seriously I can understand where your coming from, but do agree that its a striking generalisation, and the some straight males may be open to more kinky fun than others. Quote by paradoxinpink
Yet, even though I state I am looking for a bi couple every reply to my ad, except perhaps one, have been from couples where the male is straight! Most send just those "winks" and I can tell little about them --- there might be some straight male fetishists in the world lol, they are just being lazy and selling themselves short by "winking" at me lol.
I suppose this is difficult - I can understand that, just as a couple will have their 'checklist' if you like of characteristics ect that they are looking for in a SBF or other couple, so a SBF will have likewise. I must admit that as yet i've just read your ad (will PM you later to chat about a couple of bits in private if thats ok). In your ad you say, as you do above, that you are 'looking for a bi couple, where both parties are bi'. I totally appreciate that this is your perogative, but above (in bold) you seem to suggest you'd be open to a 'straight' male/bi fem couple as long as the male is open to 'pushing boundaries' for want of a better term (again NOT a criticism just an observation). For me, its info like that that is important, its that kind of imfo that tell us a lot. Myself, i would say i'm straight, but i'm not homophobic, sqeemish or going to run a mile from male contact.
For chris sake i got a good whipping off a butch TV lol. But there doent exist a category for a male to say he is 'stright but open to more kinky play and willing to push his boundaries with the right person if all got on and felt relaxed' lol I'm not bi - at this moment in time i enjoy the female of the species and male contact of a strong sexual nature doesn't excite me, not to say it never will. But to say i'm a rigid 'straight' male also doesnt hit the mark. So i can see there can be difficulties. A straight male/bi fem couple like us may not contact you even if the rest of your ad really appeals, because the male isnt a 'full blown' bi.
The rest of your reply, as with the others are good personal indicators and show couples what your looking for beyond your advert.
I think in the main this goes to show just how difficault it is to write a good ad. We've all seen the 'this is us, conatct us if your interested' ads. But just how much of what info should we all include?? It a difficult one.
I for one certain very the SBF as a cheerished 'class'. Not all are going to fit the ideas of what I/we would be looking for when we consider having fun as a 3 some, but as a 'group' I think you are important and no just pieces of meat or trophies. Its a pity that it can come across as this, from my point of view i hope I don't give that impression. As i've said before. at the end of the day, we (Cali and I) are here to make friends. We have made some real great freinds, some we have had fun with, other we hope to have fun with and still other we may not want to have fun with for whatever reason, but they are still friends. We are a community here and I think that tollerance and acceptance are the most important issues.
My god what a post!!! sorry for boring you all, my mind anf fingers went into disseration mode lol. My last thoughts (for now lol) are that i just want to reitterate that these are my thoughts and are not ment to offend anyone, if any of them do I APPOLOGISE NOW.
Orgasminator
Ok, not commented for a while, been otherwise engaged with uni lol
Where to start???
Firstly what i say here is my/our opinion, I cant speak for everyone/couple.
The thought/idea of having a SBF join us in the bedroom is one we have been mulling over for a long while, those that know us know we don't rush into anything!!
It is true that some couples just want 'a' SBF so that THEY can have THEIR fun with her. All I can say is NOT US! If/when we invite a SBF to join us we are doing just that, asking her to JOIN us, we're looking at having fun WITH a SBF, as in all 3 of us having mutual fun. This is a 3 way!! 3 people, 3 times the fun, 3 people having equal fun.
I also get the impression from a couple of posts, can't find them at the mo, that some SBFs that are interested in joining a couple and having mostof the fun with the bi-fem of the couple. Now as far as we are concerned, at this moment in time what we're looking for/interested in is having a SBF join US, 3 people equal fun. Not for Cal to predominently watch me with another fem, not me to mainly watch Cal with another Bi-fem, we're looking for a SBF to join US, 3 people equal share of fun. I'm not saying that its wrong for a SBF or even the bi-fem of the couple to want to have fun togeher and the male mainly watch.... each to their own, if thats what all parties want and agree to then thats up to them!! We're looking for 3 way fun with all 3 having fun.
At the end of the day while our fantasies of what we want to experience with a SBF come into the equation, so do theirs. Again to us, if a SBF is to join us we would need to know what they want/are looking for and if those desires are in line with ours.
I know this is a tongue in cheek hun, but it really does sum up the majority of my experience so far.
It's true that is, very true.
I am already tired of being the token sbf, and of being approached by couples not because they're interested in Darkfire, but because they see the single bi fem status. Like I sayMorb, I know your comment was tongue in cheek but it really does feel like that sometimes - not fussed on the 3rd, as long as we find one kinda thing.
I've had it from couples who are looking for 'a' single bi fem to play with because of what she can do for them - thier sex life, their fantasies etc, and from single guys who latch on to us because they cant make it on their own.
SBF's in my oppinion are not the holy grail, we're either pieces of meat that, in general, everyone wants a piece of... or a status enhancement.
It appears my comments were taken in the wrong light. I was refering moreso in direct comment to what Cal had already written. What I meant was that, yes I have my ideal woman, but I didnt mean that as a result 'any 3rd party will do' I love Cal and she is my ideal, what my comments were meant to show was that, when looking for #3, they need not meet my criteria of 'an ideal life partner', however that doesn't mean that ANY will do, there needs to be an attraction, either/or physical, mental, psychological for the 'chemistry' to work. We're not looking for a SBF to 'permanently' join us in a kind of 3-way 'marriage', but at the same time we're not just looking for quick, 'wam bam thank you maam' encounters. We'd like to think that if we hit it off there can be friendship that lasts and pleasures too beyond the one night.
This is a tricky point. I DO TOTALLY understand where your coming from. SBFs aren't just there as a toy or for the whims of couples. That would never be that way we would treat a SBF, for us their desires/wants/fantasies are equally as important as ours. However one thing i would point out is that as much as a couple have to bare in mind a SBFs needs, she has to do so with theirs. I would hope that either sides desires/fantasies are discussed well before the meet stage, if not then how do you know that you're compatible? How do you know that all parties needs are going to be met? It's not just down to the couple to address that!
This is a genuine question, not just one asked because of what you've said Poshkate....
What do SBFs look for in a couple? What do you want? What are your needs/desires/fantasies??
There seems to be some levelling of criticism of couples and their attitude towards bi-fems - which I do understand, but there's no helpful suggestions or pointers as too where they are going wrong!
Where to start???
Firstly what i say here is my/our opinion, I cant speak for everyone/couple.
The thought/idea of having a SBF join us in the bedroom is one we have been mulling over for a long while, those that know us know we don't rush into anything!!
It is true that some couples just want 'a' SBF so that THEY can have THEIR fun with her. All I can say is NOT US! If/when we invite a SBF to join us we are doing just that, asking her to JOIN us, we're looking at having fun WITH a SBF, as in all 3 of us having mutual fun. This is a 3 way!! 3 people, 3 times the fun, 3 people having equal fun.
Quote by twos_company
we`ve met a few "bi fem" couples that r not really bi...... 2 minute play then push their hubbys forward .............think they just use the bi bit as bait...............
I also get the impression from a couple of posts, can't find them at the mo, that some SBFs that are interested in joining a couple and having mostof the fun with the bi-fem of the couple. Now as far as we are concerned, at this moment in time what we're looking for/interested in is having a SBF join US, 3 people equal fun. Not for Cal to predominently watch me with another fem, not me to mainly watch Cal with another Bi-fem, we're looking for a SBF to join US, 3 people equal share of fun. I'm not saying that its wrong for a SBF or even the bi-fem of the couple to want to have fun togeher and the male mainly watch.... each to their own, if thats what all parties want and agree to then thats up to them!! We're looking for 3 way fun with all 3 having fun.
At the end of the day while our fantasies of what we want to experience with a SBF come into the equation, so do theirs. Again to us, if a SBF is to join us we would need to know what they want/are looking for and if those desires are in line with ours.
Quote by Darkfire
I want a woman around 5 1/2 feet, brunette, big boobs and an arse to die for.....
..... oh hold on :confused: .....
...I have that one, so yeah not really fussed on the 3rd of a 3some :twisted: :grin::scared:
I know this is a tongue in cheek hun, but it really does sum up the majority of my experience so far.
It's true that is, very true.
I am already tired of being the token sbf, and of being approached by couples not because they're interested in Darkfire, but because they see the single bi fem status. Like I sayMorb, I know your comment was tongue in cheek but it really does feel like that sometimes - not fussed on the 3rd, as long as we find one kinda thing.
I've had it from couples who are looking for 'a' single bi fem to play with because of what she can do for them - thier sex life, their fantasies etc, and from single guys who latch on to us because they cant make it on their own.
SBF's in my oppinion are not the holy grail, we're either pieces of meat that, in general, everyone wants a piece of... or a status enhancement.
It appears my comments were taken in the wrong light. I was refering moreso in direct comment to what Cal had already written. What I meant was that, yes I have my ideal woman, but I didnt mean that as a result 'any 3rd party will do' I love Cal and she is my ideal, what my comments were meant to show was that, when looking for #3, they need not meet my criteria of 'an ideal life partner', however that doesn't mean that ANY will do, there needs to be an attraction, either/or physical, mental, psychological for the 'chemistry' to work. We're not looking for a SBF to 'permanently' join us in a kind of 3-way 'marriage', but at the same time we're not just looking for quick, 'wam bam thank you maam' encounters. We'd like to think that if we hit it off there can be friendship that lasts and pleasures too beyond the one night.
Quote by poshkate
at times i think people on here forget that SBF's are here for their own needs and wants not just to fulfill the fantasy of others.
by no means am i saying that is everyones attitude to SBF's but especially if you look at the couples seeking women adds all there is there is people wanting to satisfy there own need with seeningly no thought towards what the 3rd person may want or desire!
This is a tricky point. I DO TOTALLY understand where your coming from. SBFs aren't just there as a toy or for the whims of couples. That would never be that way we would treat a SBF, for us their desires/wants/fantasies are equally as important as ours. However one thing i would point out is that as much as a couple have to bare in mind a SBFs needs, she has to do so with theirs. I would hope that either sides desires/fantasies are discussed well before the meet stage, if not then how do you know that you're compatible? How do you know that all parties needs are going to be met? It's not just down to the couple to address that!
This is a genuine question, not just one asked because of what you've said Poshkate....
What do SBFs look for in a couple? What do you want? What are your needs/desires/fantasies??
There seems to be some levelling of criticism of couples and their attitude towards bi-fems - which I do understand, but there's no helpful suggestions or pointers as too where they are going wrong!
Orgasminator
Thank you guys for your support, you have NO idea just how much of a help it was!!
The exam went ok, should have passed :read2:
For those who don't yet know i'm in my 4th and final year of a BSc in Forensic Science, so hopefully at some point i'll be investigating all the dodgy dealings of you lot, and of course finding nothing :twisted: unless you have had your SatNav nicked and i'll catch the buggers for ya, tell you where they live and leave the 'justice' to you ;)
Its been a very up and down 4 years but the end is in sight, just 3 more exams (this Thursday, next Monday & Thursday) but i'm a lot more confident with these, they are the chemistry and forensic one, subjects I actually give a damn about and enjoy lol.
So thanks again everyone!! :cheers:
The exam went ok, should have passed :read2:
For those who don't yet know i'm in my 4th and final year of a BSc in Forensic Science, so hopefully at some point i'll be investigating all the dodgy dealings of you lot, and of course finding nothing :twisted: unless you have had your SatNav nicked and i'll catch the buggers for ya, tell you where they live and leave the 'justice' to you ;)
Its been a very up and down 4 years but the end is in sight, just 3 more exams (this Thursday, next Monday & Thursday) but i'm a lot more confident with these, they are the chemistry and forensic one, subjects I actually give a damn about and enjoy lol.
So thanks again everyone!! :cheers:
Orgasminator
Quote by PoloLady
so i wondered....what exactly do you want in a single bi female?
1. Big tits
2. Lack of morals
3. Big tits
4. Easy
5. Big tits
6. Insatiable
7. Big tits
8. Attractive
9. Big Tits
10 . Adeventurous
11. Big tits.........
Shall we go on?
Sorry I am busy this week
:rotflmao: :rotflmao: :rotflmao: :rotflmao: :rotflmao: 
Orgasminator
Quote by Calista
A lot of people will see this as bollox, but to have a bi fem join HLB and me is far more for their pleasure than mine. And besides, I'm getting on; and need to take more frequent tea breaks nowadays
Don't get me wrong - I'd get plenty from it too :twisted: but that really would be secondary to the whole experience.
That's pretty much how we see it too :thumbup: Ok there's pleasure/benefits for all involved but a third to join us (m or f) is more about the other person that us.
Cx
No pressure there, then .
H.x
surely its preferable to be about all 3 of us?
I think you've both misunderstood me! ... I play as a single and know how awkward it "can" be as the couple know each other etc, the point I was trying to make is that we try to make the experience more about the other person that what we get out of it. I did state pleasure/benefits for all involved!
Guess I'll just shut up.
Cx
Great minds lol
Orgasminator
Quote by sexkittenhfx
A lot of people will see this as bollox, but to have a bi fem join HLB and me is far more for their pleasure than mine. And besides, I'm getting on; and need to take more frequent tea breaks nowadays
Don't get me wrong - I'd get plenty from it too :twisted: but that really would be secondary to the whole experience.
That's pretty much how we see it too :thumbup: Ok there's pleasure/benefits for all involved but a third to join us (m or f) is more about the other person that us.
Cx
No pressure there, then .
H.x
surely its preferable to be about all 3 of us?
LOL
yeah it is, i think that came over wrong Calista lol
I think what she ment is that if/when we have a fem join us we're looking to ensure that she is comfy and happy more so than prehaps ourselves. Afterall we know each other (I think :s) whereas No.3 is new so we'd want to make sure she had a good time.
Orgasminator
Quote by Calista
We've not really worked on the sort of bi-femwe would like to join us, but I guess personality is a biggie, and physical attraction has to be there to a degree. "Asset" wise then I don't think that's a concern or either is us
Cx
HUH speak for yourself!!!
I want a woman around 5 1/2 feet, brunette, big boobs and an arse to die for
.......... oh hold on :confused: .....
...I have that one, so yeah not really fussed on the 3rd of a 3some :twisted: :grin:
:scared: Orgasminator
I dont £&*!@~know what the @&*%£$!!??@*&others are "*&$!"@#on about we're all *&£%$!'#'@#$ very nice.
Just remember to keep your arms and feet inside the car at all times and don't attempt to leave....... well ever! :twisted:
Sit back, relax this wont hurt a bit, well unless you want it to. :twisted:
And finally......
:welcome: :welcome: :cheers:
ok now i've been nice to the newbs, can i have my straight jacket back please???
Just remember to keep your arms and feet inside the car at all times and don't attempt to leave....... well ever! :twisted:
Sit back, relax this wont hurt a bit, well unless you want it to. :twisted:
And finally......
:welcome: :welcome: :cheers:
ok now i've been nice to the newbs, can i have my straight jacket back please???
Orgasminator
Quote by Dawn_Mids
...........................................
Yeah Dammie after that you get a free electric tooth brush :giggle:
What? No free coffee mug?
:P If I can have another feel of your chest I'll buy you a mug :rascal:
Bribery will get you everywhere. :twisted:
:lol:Flipping heck, you are easy :lol2:
Wonder what I'd get for a tea towel and t-shirt :rascal:
Hes not easy...... hes just a tart! :wink: :wink: :evil2:
Orgasminator
Quote by Calista
Well if HLB is gonna be wigglin her bum and Calista staying clothed (YEAH RIGHT!!!) i suppose i should drop in having never ever been in any chatroom in my life ever. No not me, you can't prove it. :smug:
I have screendumps for all those wanting to blackmail Morbius for sexual favours
Cx
Why would anyone want to use blackmail for sexua favours??? they don't need to resort to that, they only have to ask!! :twisted:
sorry I missed a comma or two ........
I have screendumps, for all those wanting to blackmail Morbius, for sexual favours :D
The sexual favours are meant for me
Cx
Cheaky biatch!!!!
Youdon't need to beg borrow or steel sexual favours.... you have guys (and gals) falling over each other for you, whereaslittle me
:( :( sob sob :cry:
