I very rarely send & for that matter receive any emails :cry:
So anything from me ...... isn't from me
The WHOOSH Man
Orgasminator
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Slydewhoosh
Over 90 days ago
Pan Male, 60
0 miles · Moray
Forum
Orgasminator
Virgin - Looking at the enclosed picture obviously this requires the use of an umberella (even if the sun is out).
An short guide for use by virgins in the art of using an umberella is below:
Remove any out packaging sourrounding the said umberella (this is essential to be kept as you maybe required to repack this again - as per a previous postage on Martian packing this can always be replaced by 4 bin bags).
Hold the handled end of the umberella (to distinguish one is blunt & the other end is normally pointy - handle being blunt ended).
Search around 1/3 up from the handle to location the fastening (possibly velcro for the top of the range unberella's but normally a press stud) & undo - DON'T be alarmed at this stage if the umberella begins to unfold this is a natural reaction once the fastening is realeased.
Look down the shaft of the umberella (inside the outer covering from the handle to the tip) & locate the opening mechanism (a button / lever).
Depress the opening mechanism & move towards the tip of the umberella this will cause the outer covering to open, at some stage (difficult to judge as umberellas have different lengths etc) the locking mechanism will click & no longer be able to be adjusted - this is now fully open.
CONGRATULATIONS you now have the art of umberella opening mastered.
To close the said umberella please follow the above steps in the opposite order.
The WHOOSH Man
An short guide for use by virgins in the art of using an umberella is below:
Remove any out packaging sourrounding the said umberella (this is essential to be kept as you maybe required to repack this again - as per a previous postage on Martian packing this can always be replaced by 4 bin bags).
Hold the handled end of the umberella (to distinguish one is blunt & the other end is normally pointy - handle being blunt ended).
Search around 1/3 up from the handle to location the fastening (possibly velcro for the top of the range unberella's but normally a press stud) & undo - DON'T be alarmed at this stage if the umberella begins to unfold this is a natural reaction once the fastening is realeased.
Look down the shaft of the umberella (inside the outer covering from the handle to the tip) & locate the opening mechanism (a button / lever).
Depress the opening mechanism & move towards the tip of the umberella this will cause the outer covering to open, at some stage (difficult to judge as umberellas have different lengths etc) the locking mechanism will click & no longer be able to be adjusted - this is now fully open.
CONGRATULATIONS you now have the art of umberella opening mastered.
To close the said umberella please follow the above steps in the opposite order.
The WHOOSH Man
Orgasminator
If you stay in a constant state of inebreation, then this will never occur.
The WHOOSH Man
The WHOOSH Man
Orgasminator
I find that a 4 bin bags are required normallly:
One for the main item
One for the for all the accrutements.
After checking everywhere another for all the stuff left over.
Then a last 2 - 3 days later when you come across another piece which inevatably starts another hunt for any more items left over.
The WHOOSH Man
One for the main item
One for the for all the accrutements.
After checking everywhere another for all the stuff left over.
Then a last 2 - 3 days later when you come across another piece which inevatably starts another hunt for any more items left over.
The WHOOSH Man
Orgasminator
Nice to see a post from the heart rather than off the cuff.
I totally agree with this one being a good place to meet & chat about a wide variety of subjects not just sex.
Appologies if it is me who has lowered the tone of this forum in the last 3 weeks (hangs head in shame & begs forgiveness)
The WHOOSH Man
I totally agree with this one being a good place to meet & chat about a wide variety of subjects not just sex.
Appologies if it is me who has lowered the tone of this forum in the last 3 weeks (hangs head in shame & begs forgiveness)
The WHOOSH Man
Orgasminator
Well of course you can have as many 
as necessarily needed.
But Steve how could you :boxing: shame on you!!!!
The WHOOSH Man
as necessarily needed.But Steve how could you :boxing: shame on you!!!!
The WHOOSH Man
Orgasminator
Any update on the tattoo visit yet.
Did ya do it or not?
If so I hope you were happy with the result.
The WHOOSH Man
Did ya do it or not?
If so I hope you were happy with the result.
The WHOOSH Man
Orgasminator
A. Queenie & Philip: possible as Clare seems to wear the trousers but Steve doen't seem to be racist - so highly unlikely.
B. Marge & Homer: possible as Clare (i've been told) spreads her legs easily Marge(rine) & Steve has a few prophetic things to say like Homer (the greek writer) - GET'S MY VOTE.
C. Brad & Jen: possible Clare has lots of 'FRIENDS' but Steve needs to join a fight club - so again highly unlikely.
D. Den & Angie: possible both alcoholics, but as been stated before Angie is dead (or is that all a dream eg DALLAS) by Steve as he finds her in the shower - so again highly unlikely.
So my vote still stands B.
The WHOOSH Man
B. Marge & Homer: possible as Clare (i've been told) spreads her legs easily Marge(rine) & Steve has a few prophetic things to say like Homer (the greek writer) - GET'S MY VOTE.
C. Brad & Jen: possible Clare has lots of 'FRIENDS' but Steve needs to join a fight club - so again highly unlikely.
D. Den & Angie: possible both alcoholics, but as been stated before Angie is dead (or is that all a dream eg DALLAS) by Steve as he finds her in the shower - so again highly unlikely.
So my vote still stands B.
The WHOOSH Man
Orgasminator
Born late 60's
70's at school
80's was the best, funky hair, new romatics, punk, mods - all fun at the time
90's boring
00's haven't properly begun yet ????
The WHOOSH Man
70's at school
80's was the best, funky hair, new romatics, punk, mods - all fun at the time
90's boring
00's haven't properly begun yet ????
The WHOOSH Man
Orgasminator
GILBERT MORE BEER HERE
Many congrats on 100th post long may they continue.
The WHOOSH Man
Many congrats on 100th post long may they continue.
The WHOOSH Man
Orgasminator
Quote by Sgt Bilko
Tim was very much alive at the last party I went to, happily showing off his "jewelry"!! :shock: :shock: :shock: :shock:
They must get let out for special occasions though
The WHOOSH Man
Orgasminator
One can only presume that the box people enjoy the odd poke or 2
Hopefully though it's not with the pointy / shitty end of the stick
The WHOOSH Man
Hopefully though it's not with the pointy / shitty end of the stick
The WHOOSH Man
Orgasminator
Many Congrats
More BEER required GILBERT were are you when we all are soooooo thirsty????
The WHOOSH Man
More BEER required GILBERT were are you when we all are soooooo thirsty????
The WHOOSH Man
Orgasminator
I voted for option 2.
The odd brush against me would be fine, but if this continued I would be mentioning this to him.
But really this should be ironed out whilst talking do's / don'ts about the way the evening will proceed.
Better to get this clarified before hand so that all parties are happy & no1 ends up feeling put off by the experience.
The WHOOSH Man
The odd brush against me would be fine, but if this continued I would be mentioning this to him.
But really this should be ironed out whilst talking do's / don'ts about the way the evening will proceed.
Better to get this clarified before hand so that all parties are happy & no1 ends up feeling put off by the experience.
The WHOOSH Man
Orgasminator
Thanks to all here who make interesting posts & due to me having an opinion upon many subjects I tend to write a lot of answers / suggestions (hopefully constructive).
The WHOOSH Man
The WHOOSH Man
Orgasminator
Here is the result of your Dr. Seuss Purity Test.
You answered "yes" to 31 of 50 questions, making you 38.0% sexually pure (62.0% sexually corrupt); that is, you are 38.0% pure in the sex domain.
Your Weirdness Factor (AKA Uniqueness Factor) is 39%
The WHOOSH Man
You answered "yes" to 31 of 50 questions, making you 38.0% sexually pure (62.0% sexually corrupt); that is, you are 38.0% pure in the sex domain.
Your Weirdness Factor (AKA Uniqueness Factor) is 39%
The WHOOSH Man
Orgasminator
Thankyou one & all for another milestone
But as usual I am still awaiting me drink from the bar .... GILBERT were are ya!!!!!!!
I was gonna say drinks all round but due to the fact the barman in this establishment is slow I won't (at this rate I will be sober again before I get another drink).
The WHOOSH Man
But as usual I am still awaiting me drink from the bar .... GILBERT were are ya!!!!!!!
I was gonna say drinks all round but due to the fact the barman in this establishment is slow I won't (at this rate I will be sober again before I get another drink).
The WHOOSH Man
Orgasminator
Quote by gilbert
What is everyone's favourite alcoholic beverage (it will just help Gilbert to get the order right at the NW Munch ...... BARMAN wtf are ya)
The WHOOSH Man
OOOOOH Whooooosh
you are a card aren't. You really are a cheeky chappy.
methinks you have been spending too much time with those muckle cooos!!
Gilbert
At least you know yer place in life
& whilst u at the bar grab me another drink :twisted:
The WHOOSH Man
Orgasminator
I can imagine the scene:
After you, no after you as you posted first, no I insist please go before me ... both look at one another & jump on the poor fellow in question.
The WHOOSH Man
After you, no after you as you posted first, no I insist please go before me ... both look at one another & jump on the poor fellow in question.
The WHOOSH Man
Orgasminator
Quote by Reese
Yep - cute bi and WE does it for me.... I'll fight you for him, Reece!
We could always share!! :mrgreen:
The is what we like to see a caring sharing community
The WHOOSH Man
Orgasminator
I always thought that since me & my brother were both adopted from birth, my folks were virgins :shock:
But I later found out that due to medical grounds they couldn't have kids
The WHOOSH Man
But I later found out that due to medical grounds they couldn't have kids
The WHOOSH Man
Orgasminator
Great to see that ya had a fantsstic response.
Imagine being able to say on ya profile / siggy:
SH Breasts of 2004
So come on ladies you know you want that title GO FOR IT & post in
The WHOOSH Man
Imagine being able to say on ya profile / siggy:
SH Breasts of 2004
So come on ladies you know you want that title GO FOR IT & post in
The WHOOSH Man
Orgasminator
Quote by clarensteve
As long as they want to in my opinion.
The only thing is:
As long as I DONT meet em in here up answering an ad!!!
The WHOOSH Man
UURRRGGGHHH dont even go there man,thats not even funny
Steve,xxx
Appologies Steve didn't mean to put ya off ya breakfast
The WHOOSH Man
Orgasminator
Quote by mal609
Now if it was a single guy asking for a shag, do you think he would get such a great response.................................?
Mal
Ok here goes:
I am .......
Cool no response
The WHOOSH Man
Orgasminator
As long as they want to in my opinion.
The only thing is:
As long as I DONT meet em in here up answering an ad!!!
The WHOOSH Man
The only thing is:
As long as I DONT meet em in here up answering an ad!!!
The WHOOSH Man
Orgasminator
Quote by bohemian1
variaty are the spices of good looooooooove life.
mmmmm Heinz 57 is mine
The WHOOSH Man
Orgasminator
Good Night & Sweet Dreams
Don't worry there's always 2moro
The WHOOSH Man
Don't worry there's always 2moro
The WHOOSH Man
