Welcome. :swingingchair:
And prepare to lose your SH virginity :jagsatwork:
Join the most popular community of UK swingers now
Login
SmokingMuff
Over 90 days ago
Bisexual Female, 54
0 miles · Kent
Forum
Quote by Dino.debatable meat, last time i saw smoker jim she/he had a black skirt on but was also sporting a goaty beard
so smokerjim are you a boy or a girl?
Hi Sam :welcome:
:dunno: :dunno: 
Hi sam by the way , hope you enjoy yourself here :wink:
As his wife I can say it screams like a woman when I tiggle it :eeek: :giggle:
Quote by bhd1976
Definitely boxers - briefs end up riding up my ample arse, and going commando chafes far too much, not to mention the increased risk of a serious zip injury :cry:
You should try the trouser with the button flies. Just nice to slip a finger in and find out if they are shaved or hairy :smile2:
Quote by Vicky_uk
A bloke is in a queue at the supermarket when he notices that the rather dishy blonde behind him has just raised her hand and smiled hello to him.
He is rather taken aback that such a looker would be waving to him, and although familiar he can't place where he might know her from, so he says "Sorry, do you know me?"
She replies "I maybe mistaken, but I thought you might be the father of one of my children!"
His mind shoots back to the one and only time he has been unfaithful, "Oh my God" he says, are you that stripogram on my stag night that I shagged on the snooker table in front of all my mates whilst your mate whipped me with some wet celery and stuck a cucumber up my arse?"
"No" she replies, "I'm your son's English teacher" :shock:
Liked that a lot :giggle:
:swingingchair: :rascal:Quote by mygaff
Well I am into flaggelation,necrophila and .
Am I flogging a dead horse?
Well with being into flooging a dead horse nearly covers everything for you.
I think you are normal, but then what is normality :giggle:
But I think you should see another site if you are really into those things.
Here is another one from the past
Remember the Chicken Song (Spitting Image)
Its the time of year, now that spring is in the air
When those two wet gits, with thair curly hair
Make another song, for marronic holidays
That nausiate-ate-ates in a million different ways
From the shores of Spain, to the coast of southern France
No matter where you hide, you just cant escape theis dance
Hold a chicken in the air, stick a deck-chair up your nose
Buy a Jumbo-Jet, and then bury all your clothes
Paint your left leg gree, then extract your wisdom teeth
Form a string quartet, and pretend your name is Keith
Skin yourself alive, learn to speak araphahoe
Climb inside a dog, and behead an Eskimo
Eat a Renault 4, wear salami in your ears
Cassarole you gran, dis-embowel yourself with spears
The disco is migrating, the sound is loud and grating
It's truly nausiating - let's do the dance again..
Hold a chicken in the air, stick a deck-chair up your nose
Buy a Jumbo-Jet, and then bury all your clothes
Yes youll hear this song, in the holiday discos
And there's no escape, in the clubs or in the bars
You would hear this song, if you holidayed in Mars
Skin yourself alive, learn to speak araphahoe
Climb inside a dog, and behead an Eskimo
Now you've heard it once, your brain will spring a leak
And though you hate this song you'll be humming it for weeks
Hold a chicken in the air, stick a deck-chair up your nose
Buy a Jumbo-Jet, and then bury all yuor clothes
la la la la la la la.....
(voice in the background at the end: "ay - we had a laugh!")
Now you all can suffer to!!!!!!!!!!!!! :eeek: :doh:
Remember the Chicken Song (Spitting Image)
Its the time of year, now that spring is in the air
When those two wet gits, with thair curly hair
Make another song, for marronic holidays
That nausiate-ate-ates in a million different ways
From the shores of Spain, to the coast of southern France
No matter where you hide, you just cant escape theis dance
Hold a chicken in the air, stick a deck-chair up your nose
Buy a Jumbo-Jet, and then bury all your clothes
Paint your left leg gree, then extract your wisdom teeth
Form a string quartet, and pretend your name is Keith
Skin yourself alive, learn to speak araphahoe
Climb inside a dog, and behead an Eskimo
Eat a Renault 4, wear salami in your ears
Cassarole you gran, dis-embowel yourself with spears
The disco is migrating, the sound is loud and grating
It's truly nausiating - let's do the dance again..
Hold a chicken in the air, stick a deck-chair up your nose
Buy a Jumbo-Jet, and then bury all your clothes
Yes youll hear this song, in the holiday discos
And there's no escape, in the clubs or in the bars
You would hear this song, if you holidayed in Mars
Skin yourself alive, learn to speak araphahoe
Climb inside a dog, and behead an Eskimo
Now you've heard it once, your brain will spring a leak
And though you hate this song you'll be humming it for weeks
Hold a chicken in the air, stick a deck-chair up your nose
Buy a Jumbo-Jet, and then bury all yuor clothes
la la la la la la la.....
(voice in the background at the end: "ay - we had a laugh!")
Now you all can suffer to!!!!!!!!!!!!! :eeek: :doh:
:rotflmao:Quote by Dave__Notts
I can see a new theme for a munch :shock:
Every woman in a leopard print dress and all the blokes in Wide collared shirts......medallions and brut aftershave...............I knew I kept my old clobber for a reason
Theme nights........lets go for it
Dave_Notts
NNNNNNNNNNNOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Please I'll be a good girl, I'll do anythingwithin reason
:cheers: Quote by Wishmaster
The most fiddliest fruit on the planet has to be pomegranites .... I love em but boy do they get a bit boring picking all the fruit out from the pith.
Now Strawberries.... hmmmm covered in sugar.. no cream (I use that for 'other' things
Pomegranates. Get some to feed them to you solves that problem
But strawberries have to eaten with melted chocolate (plain, milk and white) and champagne :smile2:
Quote by MikeC
i will take the pasting and i dont care!!!!!
dammy i agree wtht women cant run both at the same time ;)
lol women are like us in certain ways.....
omg.........
i can feel all the women are going to hat me......
it wasnt me that said this i thought it i was TOLD to type it i head the gremlins
MikeC
Dont really care about that :laughabove:
When I am really in the mood I can do alot of things at the same time :rude:
Quote by Debbiewebs
thank you for the pics Kaz..........................OMG!!!......... Debs is a naughty women what am i going to do with her?
OK do not answer that one
But I could punish her in front of you!!!!!!!!!! :evil2:
You no that i am not in to pain ya bugger but i no you are so here you go
:smackbottom: :smackbottom: :smackbottom: :smackbottom: :smackbottom: and a very speciel one for you hope you enjojed
Do i really look that fat :shock:
Debs goes on a diet!.............
ops: :oops:Could do the punishment by witholding sex.
