Quote by PoloLady
For god's sake SunBunny - what are you waiting for - go for it - we can bump the other thread when you get back -
and which other thread would that be Polo?
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SunBunny
Over 90 days ago
Straight Female, 52
Forum
and your suppose to be working ....don't you have a deadline?CumCum tossed for me. Or before me, should I say. Our PMs crossed, I was kinda gettin there but alas, the Ooomph of 1 New PM heralded CumCum's premature ejaculation - and I didnt feel a thing. :cry:
It was a thrilling experience.
And a lot of fun.
So you gonna cash in on all the Up-4-Its Libra?
It was a thrilling experience.
And a lot of fun.
So you gonna cash in on all the Up-4-Its Libra?
Quote by sexy-toyboy-4-fun
Im just making sure people know im really sorry before everyone starts having a go at me again :shock:
I think you're doing fine toyboy, but this is so entertaining that you are stopping me from working, which is BAD. :twisted: Every time I see your Sig I giggle.
Nice avatar by the way.
Don't. I was about to quote your PM anonymously on the Tossers! thread as an example of lovely PMs that I get every week. But I was stopped just in time by someone who knows you are full of shite anyway so not worth the publicity......
In answer to your PM - YES. Panting as we speak sexy. :P
God thats made me giggle.
In answer to your PM - YES. Panting as we speak sexy. :P
God thats made me giggle.
Quote by Libra-Love
the worst offenders are those who befriend you, gain your confidence and trust and once you've revealed the tender belly stuff they use it against you because your level of comitment/attachment is not equal to theirs.
Well put Libra. Another little game they like to play. I have encountered far too many of that particular category of tosser.
But I have recieved quite a lot of comments about my posts on this thread, from guys I know. I am not a man-hating bitch. That's the whole point. I love men. I just don't understand some of them. I do know that there are more nice guys than not on the forum. Its generally newbies, or dare I say it, doggers, who send unwelcomed PMs. I get a lot of nice ones too.
But the guys I get to meet who turn out to be tossers are the ones who make me more and more wary, and angrier than I want to be.
Then there was the guy who sent me a couple of fairly normal PMs and suggested we chat on MSN. He was local, so I thought yeah, why not, see what he's about...
We said hello on it bla bla bla but I was quite busy so said could talk again later that day....at about 10pm we started chatting again. Before I knew it he was giving me the whole kaboodle - from what he would do to me, where he had, and would put, his (large - of course) todger, and how it would make me feel. He told me what I would cry out, for how long, and how many orgasms he would make me have. No expense was spared in terms of graphical detail and even I was shocked at the explicit and filthy language he deemed fit to write to a virtual stranger.
All I had written was ' so tell me what you're up to today....' expecting a friendly account of his typical day, in an 'I'd like to get to know you more' kinda way. I blocked him once he had effectively 'come', his finger pressed down seductively on the aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa.
I was impressed I can tell you.
We said hello on it bla bla bla but I was quite busy so said could talk again later that day....at about 10pm we started chatting again. Before I knew it he was giving me the whole kaboodle - from what he would do to me, where he had, and would put, his (large - of course) todger, and how it would make me feel. He told me what I would cry out, for how long, and how many orgasms he would make me have. No expense was spared in terms of graphical detail and even I was shocked at the explicit and filthy language he deemed fit to write to a virtual stranger.
All I had written was ' so tell me what you're up to today....' expecting a friendly account of his typical day, in an 'I'd like to get to know you more' kinda way. I blocked him once he had effectively 'come', his finger pressed down seductively on the aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa.
I was impressed I can tell you.
Then there was the guy - or should I say boy - who wanted me to complete his fantasy and include myself in a MMF in a hotel in Essex.
At first I got into the idea - and so after some PMs and a couple of text messages he called me for some phone sex. I was very turned on - thinking how nice it would be to turn up for this exciting evening of double pleasure, me as the centre of attention - and was looking forward to a good old-fashioned wank while he talked me sexily through it.......
Seductive chat my arse.
I think I managed to get my hands in my knickers to feel how ready I was for what I anticipated would be a satisfying phone sex sesh before he shot his load down the phone (not literally of course) and then said 'Right, I have to go, I'm meeting my girlfriend in 10 minutes'.
I didn't meet him and his friend for a night of wild abandon. I just deleted his details and thought TOSSER. Then I made a sandwich and imagined his cock as the filling...taking a nice big crunchy bite.
At first I got into the idea - and so after some PMs and a couple of text messages he called me for some phone sex. I was very turned on - thinking how nice it would be to turn up for this exciting evening of double pleasure, me as the centre of attention - and was looking forward to a good old-fashioned wank while he talked me sexily through it.......
Seductive chat my arse.
I think I managed to get my hands in my knickers to feel how ready I was for what I anticipated would be a satisfying phone sex sesh before he shot his load down the phone (not literally of course) and then said 'Right, I have to go, I'm meeting my girlfriend in 10 minutes'.
I didn't meet him and his friend for a night of wild abandon. I just deleted his details and thought TOSSER. Then I made a sandwich and imagined his cock as the filling...taking a nice big crunchy bite.
Quote by rachel-lane
unfortunatly bunny thats the net for you
Rachel I attract them in the real world too.
But please, my tosser tales are not a suggestion that no man should ever approach me for fear of having his testicles ripped off with my sharpened teeth. :twisted: I would just prefer it if you didn't send me an introductory PM asking 'Do you do anal?' in the same badly spelt sentence as 'My mum's away for the week so wanna teach me how to be dirty (my step brother wants to join in as well)? '
hwoar:Tossers on Swinging Heaven - An Essay
There are many kinds of tossers on this site and these all add up to one big tosspot of most tossiest. However it is important to stress to non-tossers the importance of tongues in cheeks and clean consciences.
If you are a tosser and know you are worthy of the TIT Touter's public humiliation, resume the hand to cock coordination you are so good at and try to get your head round the fact that wanking is a private thing and public tossery is punishable by SunBunny et al.
In my delicious time on Swinging Heaven I have encountered:
The neanderthal type which chooses to send me inane, ungrammatical PMs and then when they dont recieve a reply from me, send me more, equally banal and uninteresting and by no means seductive, inviting or amusing (except for the sheer audacity and pathetic content).
PMers again, in category two, who send me one-liners, thinking I will be highly turned on by such a brief amount of uncreative chat-up and arrange to meet said category like yesterday, fanny akimbo. (having sent half a dozen pics of my nude figure so he can wank himself silly before the event)
Tossers I have got so far as to meet...well.....quite a few but not as many as post in Lets Meet Up.
.....There's the guy who took advantage of and used me to get back at someone else..... who left me feeling like a cheap tumble dryer with a mouldy old sock in it that wont dry, dirtying the inside.
Another fed me more bullshit than a bullshit factory with an overloaded Christmas schedule churning out bullshit by the barrell. On a bullshit scale of 1-10 he was a perfect 10.
Another called me every day for two weeks and made me feel like I was really onto something....he made himself sound so genuine, I believed he was interested in me as a person and not just as a pair of tits with a hole at cock level. He came and spent the weekend with me and we had incredible sex and really enjoyed being together........ and then I never heard another word...(I know. You're not surprised. I, unfortunately, was.) He didn't need to go through all the crap beforehand. I would have slept with him anyway, he was very horny.
It's just a game to these people .
Are these not tossers? Am I being too petty here? Expecting too much? Is this normal behaviour?
Well I hope no one is offended by my blast of tosser-outing. I am merely complying with Chief TIT's orders and regurgitating scenes from a forgettable sex life and a tired PM inbox.
It is these sad few who make it harder for all the lovely people on here - They who must be entertained. ....
SunBunny, tosser magnet extraordinaire.
There are many kinds of tossers on this site and these all add up to one big tosspot of most tossiest. However it is important to stress to non-tossers the importance of tongues in cheeks and clean consciences.
If you are a tosser and know you are worthy of the TIT Touter's public humiliation, resume the hand to cock coordination you are so good at and try to get your head round the fact that wanking is a private thing and public tossery is punishable by SunBunny et al.
In my delicious time on Swinging Heaven I have encountered:
The neanderthal type which chooses to send me inane, ungrammatical PMs and then when they dont recieve a reply from me, send me more, equally banal and uninteresting and by no means seductive, inviting or amusing (except for the sheer audacity and pathetic content).
PMers again, in category two, who send me one-liners, thinking I will be highly turned on by such a brief amount of uncreative chat-up and arrange to meet said category like yesterday, fanny akimbo. (having sent half a dozen pics of my nude figure so he can wank himself silly before the event)
Tossers I have got so far as to meet...well.....quite a few but not as many as post in Lets Meet Up.
.....There's the guy who took advantage of and used me to get back at someone else..... who left me feeling like a cheap tumble dryer with a mouldy old sock in it that wont dry, dirtying the inside.
Another fed me more bullshit than a bullshit factory with an overloaded Christmas schedule churning out bullshit by the barrell. On a bullshit scale of 1-10 he was a perfect 10.
Another called me every day for two weeks and made me feel like I was really onto something....he made himself sound so genuine, I believed he was interested in me as a person and not just as a pair of tits with a hole at cock level. He came and spent the weekend with me and we had incredible sex and really enjoyed being together........ and then I never heard another word...(I know. You're not surprised. I, unfortunately, was.) He didn't need to go through all the crap beforehand. I would have slept with him anyway, he was very horny.
It's just a game to these people .
Are these not tossers? Am I being too petty here? Expecting too much? Is this normal behaviour?
Well I hope no one is offended by my blast of tosser-outing. I am merely complying with Chief TIT's orders and regurgitating scenes from a forgettable sex life and a tired PM inbox.
It is these sad few who make it harder for all the lovely people on here - They who must be entertained. ....
SunBunny, tosser magnet extraordinaire.
OMG.
It's not even my birthday and I've come home to a thread about tossers.
:evil2:
May I offer my services as TITS Touter for the MUFFettes of Swinging Heaven, whereupon I will humiliate any tosser who crawls into the tight confines our feathery mounds, the punishment decided between our TITS in the MUFF HQ with the aid of a BDSM catalogue, Vets Monthly and an assortment of screws, plugs and electrical cable.
Tosser stories for Chief TIT will follow shortly, once i have had my fill of sausage and drunk a few glasses of wine. I wouldn't want sobriety to mar my memories and make any tosser stories in any way logical or complimentary.
It's not even my birthday and I've come home to a thread about tossers.
:evil2:
May I offer my services as TITS Touter for the MUFFettes of Swinging Heaven, whereupon I will humiliate any tosser who crawls into the tight confines our feathery mounds, the punishment decided between our TITS in the MUFF HQ with the aid of a BDSM catalogue, Vets Monthly and an assortment of screws, plugs and electrical cable.
Tosser stories for Chief TIT will follow shortly, once i have had my fill of sausage and drunk a few glasses of wine. I wouldn't want sobriety to mar my memories and make any tosser stories in any way logical or complimentary.
Quote by AndyS-NE
(Excuse my cynicism but waving a hard-on in my face does not an orgasm make.....)
Bloody hell now you tell me!! Well thats plan "A" gone!! Any more tips??
Hello me old mate ..... well there's always Plan B...
Tell me you are bored stiff and in need of a woman to while away the hours....I will be so bowled over by your charm, originality and powers of seduction that I will crumble to the floor in a heap of orgasmic bliss......
Quote by steveg_nw
No doubt I'll get the "ah, but we're all different" replies but how many of you have taken the trouble to do the same kinda thing?
Steve
The thing is Steve that I have often tried to 'show' these guys how to do it....tell them where to touch, which speed, how much pressure, etc etc etc....but most, I have found, are too pigheaded to listen.They know best.
I wouldn't mind but as a bisexual I have more idea than straight women who never 'go there' orally.....but STILL these guys think they know best.
So I have now given up trying to help those who are not prepared to help themselves....
Quote by MQ
I think there should be a 'womens orgasms' category - including:
Technique - fingers, tongues, cocks etc................
Skill - How adept you are at using the above to reach your target
Time taken to get her there
Yes MQ, nice idea, but how are they going to judge themselves on something they are (in my experience) not very good at doing?
Or is it just me that has this problem? Not saying that all men are inept but if I had to put a percentage on it - I would have to say 75-80% HAVENT GOT A CLUE.
Sorry..... just an observation.....
