I dont really understand what u mean by "defining us" tbh.. however yes of course we all have some secrets. I have told my partner long held secrets and afterwards i wish i hadnt cos i think its quite good to have some skeletons in the cupboard!
I agree with Marya that there are different secrets for different friends - bestest friends get to know the whole shebang. Middle friends maybe a little bit and others, nothing. But i have to say, if someone confides in me then i keep that totally to myself... hard sometimes, but i really do.
Suze xx
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Suze43
Over 90 days ago
Straight Female, 64
Forum
Quote by HornyLittleBlonde]
OK I think I'm in a good position to answer this, but bear with me - it might get a bit long
When I first joined the site as a single fem, I'd got a bit fed up with telling vanilla guys I wanted NSA and them intepreting that as "ah she's been hurt in the past. Give her time".
I had a couple of people get really possessive after I'd been quite clear about how I felt and it pissed me off.
I found this place for a few reasons:
I'd had a few threesomes and wanted to explore that more
I wanted to meet people with NSA
I travelled around a lot with work and thought it would be a good way to liven up some of my nights away in hotels :rascal:
The last thing I wanted was a relationship and I made that incredibly clear to everyone I met.
And then I met Dambuster
We had an initial meet in a pub, some lengthy conversations and found we had a very similar sense of humour.
We began spending quite a few evenings together at his place and we started to develop serious feelings for each other.
Initial reaction was "what the hell am I doing" but I began to realise I actually enjoyed the vanilla element of our friendship as much as the sexual side.
When I thought about it, I realised it was certain aspects of relationships that I didn't like:
The possesiveness
The control
Having to hide parts of my personality - my bi side, my flirty nature
Now I was spending time with someone who actually liked that about me
Who gave a mischievous little smile & wink when I flirted/snogged other guys
Who I could play the "would you?" game with when we were out shopping
Who I could tell my deepest darkest desires to without worrying what they thought of me.
I'm now happier than I've ever been in my life. :inlove:
___________________________________________
Now after all that waffle:
I don't think if you go looking for it, you will necessarily find it, but.......
Maybe arranging meets that are social as well as sexual may open some doors e.g.
Meeting a guy for a nice meal and conversation before shagging as opposed to a dogging/club meet
Lovely post HLB and i can totally relate to it....
Suze xx
If im angry or upset, then sleeping is always difficult, best thing for me to do is just get up and watch tv or come on t'internet for a while. However, if im on a downer and feel depressed then i can sleep and sleep and sleep and not stop sleeping!! Almost as if my mind shuts down...
Suze xx
Suze xx
I think im going to try being more assertive, more upfront (actually i am when ive had a few voddys)and just come out with it!! Think that will work, think ill be able to read signals better?? Just saying something like erm "oooo youve got a very kissable mouth" and just kinda move forward - just as the other person turns around. Omg how embarrassing that would be!! 
Suze x
Suze x
Quote by jaymar]
In all honesty Suze? a nice robe... and I'm not talking wyncyette goonie here I'm talking sexy satin short one
I wore one to my first visit to a club and it was far more erotic to know only you know what is underneath and the rest had to wait to find out!
I would feel way to exposed to walk around in just underwear, this way it leaves a little to the imagination!
Now that IS a good idea - hmmm yeah i can just picture myself in a short sexy robe.
Ta chick!!
Suze xx
What do you think is more sexy?? Underwear or a towel?? Ive found when i go to Chams, that i really dont feel sexy with a great big towel wrapped round my body... even tho its rather useful cos u can just go in the jacuzzi without having to get undressed.
I would love to wear some sexy underwear but tbh i think id feel too exposed and embarrassed. Some gals there look truly amazing and very sexy with their underwear, id just be .
So whats sexier - clothes as long as they look good (IMO some dont!!) or just a towel and u just know that person is naked underneath??
Suze xx
I would love to wear some sexy underwear but tbh i think id feel too exposed and embarrassed. Some gals there look truly amazing and very sexy with their underwear, id just be
.So whats sexier - clothes as long as they look good (IMO some dont!!) or just a towel and u just know that person is naked underneath??
Suze xx
Knowing that im loved by my partner, my kids are all happy and healthy, my dog is doing ok, my parents are well. Apart from that, its great to not have horrible letters dropping thru the letter box every morning (bills), nice to have food in the house and my garden is coming on a treat!
Oh yeah and great to have some good friends i know i can trust and rely on...
Suze xx
Oh yeah and great to have some good friends i know i can trust and rely on...
Suze xx
Quote by Argt05
I love the inner parts of my knees been stroked or licked, amazing! Also my back is just one big Horny Zone! Touch at your peril :twisted:
But, touch my feet an i'll have to batter you with a big stick!! Hell No... can't Go There!
Backs is knees is lovely but you must be kidding about the feet - i love my feet being stroked.... esp while watching tv.
Suze x
There are loads of body language signals we all do when we fancy someone:
Our pupils dilate, so i suppose i could try looking deeply into the guys eyes??
We play with our hair, um yeah i could try twirling it round my fingers..
We lick our lips - oh come on how obvious is that??
We lean towards the object of our lust - yes sometimes i even have to lean against them else i would prob fall over!
So the signs are there - maybe it would just be easier to say "look i find u very attractive, fancy a quickie?"
Suze xx
Our pupils dilate, so i suppose i could try looking deeply into the guys eyes??
We play with our hair, um yeah i could try twirling it round my fingers..
We lick our lips - oh come on how obvious is that??
We lean towards the object of our lust - yes sometimes i even have to lean against them else i would prob fall over!
So the signs are there - maybe it would just be easier to say "look i find u very attractive, fancy a quickie?"
Suze xx
Quote by dambuster
I just knew I should have been more forthright.
Suze, next time we're in the same jacuzzi, would you like to suck the dammiecock ? - For YOUR OWN pleasure. (Don't worry, I'm not being entirely selfless. I'd enjoy it immensely)
:D Dammie and HLB im just not forward enough am i?? Bloody clueless or what??? But ill get you next time...Suze xx
Does anyone else have problems reading signals from other people?? I do, i can chat away to someone, not realising that maybe they would be interested in maybe a bit more than a chat. How do u know if someone wants you?? How can u tell?? Unless someone says to me "Suze can i have a kiss" or just comes in for the kill, i havent got a clue. Im sure ive pissed people off in the past, i dont meant to, thats the last thing id do!!
Funnily enough i can tell if im observing somebody else chatting, i can see the sexual attraction there but just not when it involves me!!
Suze xx
Funnily enough i can tell if im observing somebody else chatting, i can see the sexual attraction there but just not when it involves me!!
Suze xx Quote by Sassy-Seren
'kin ell Suze, can't help you there hun. 46 years on and I'm still getting myself into emotional shit :doh:
Hi Sassy,
Great aint it!! Bloody hell why does life just get harder and harder...
Suze xx
It sure does hun but you just need to shake it off and move on, easier said than done I know.
Failing that, get in the car to Cardiff and we'll get rip roaringly pissed together :thumbup:
he he sounds like my kinda gal!!
Suze xx
Does anybody have any advice on how to become less gullible?? Im soooo trusting its just silly and today im hurting again...
You would think after quite a few relationships, a failed marriage, four children and not exactly being a youngster i would have it all sussed out. Why do i believe everything thats said to me? Im worried that if i become all cynical and guarded then that wont be me. The real Suze will have disappeared.
Anybody any ideas on how to toughen up??
Suze x
You would think after quite a few relationships, a failed marriage, four children and not exactly being a youngster i would have it all sussed out. Why do i believe everything thats said to me? Im worried that if i become all cynical and guarded then that wont be me. The real Suze will have disappeared.
Anybody any ideas on how to toughen up??
Suze x
This is certainly one to make u think:
The Bad:
Started smoking at 14 and still do albeit not very much now
Fell in love with a guy who ended up in prison nick and who was a very bad influence on me
Didnt do as well at school as was expected
Upset my parents by leaving home for a year when i was 18 (soon went back with my tail between my legs tho)
Was frequently pissed and ended up being assaulted because i was totally incapable of getting out of the situation
The good:
Loved going to college and did quite well
Worked for a couple of years as a voluntary worker in our local hospital and loved it
Had loads of mates
Omg i must have had better times than just that!! I cant believe it - going off for a think...
Suze xx
The Bad:
Started smoking at 14 and still do albeit not very much now
Fell in love with a guy who ended up in prison nick and who was a very bad influence on me
Didnt do as well at school as was expected
Upset my parents by leaving home for a year when i was 18 (soon went back with my tail between my legs tho)
Was frequently pissed and ended up being assaulted because i was totally incapable of getting out of the situation
The good:
Loved going to college and did quite well
Worked for a couple of years as a voluntary worker in our local hospital and loved it
Had loads of mates
Omg i must have had better times than just that!! I cant believe it - going off for a think...
Suze xx
Surely some of you have noticed the change in the atmosphere at munches/socials?? Yes they are still fun and its always great to meet up with old friends and meet new ones, but come on... they have changed!! (IMO).
Bart and I have been to three since Manchester and the atmosphere is different, more restrained, almost like being at a wedding reception or summat!! We arent even the most outgoing of people, we dont spend all night snogging the faces off peeps, we arent over-the-top at all but we have noticed a change. We spent ages discussing this amongst ourselves and with friends and it was agreed.... now it seems as tho people arent in agreement. Ah well, maybe we'd better keep our opinions to ourselves...
Suze x
Bart and I have been to three since Manchester and the atmosphere is different, more restrained, almost like being at a wedding reception or summat!! We arent even the most outgoing of people, we dont spend all night snogging the faces off peeps, we arent over-the-top at all but we have noticed a change. We spent ages discussing this amongst ourselves and with friends and it was agreed.... now it seems as tho people arent in agreement. Ah well, maybe we'd better keep our opinions to ourselves...
Suze x
I think our self-image is very different to the image we portray to others. Im absolutely terrible and always think omg look at my belly, my hair is crap, im looking older, ewwwww my arse etc etc. But tbh my partner and others do compliment me and im trying very hard to accept them even tho most of the time im thinking "yeah right".
Suze x
Suze x
earthy my northeastern mate, i know how u are feeling... ive been there lots of times too! Weve travelled all over the UK going to munches and socials and most of the time theyve been amazing. Sometimes, however, ive found myself sitting on the outside looking in and thinking "WTF am i doing here?". It takes a lot of effort and organisation for us to get to some munches and ive sometimes thought why did i bother?? Then the paranoia sets in and i think ok so nobody likes me after all.
Ive noticed that of late the social events have changed and almost become kinda "vanilla". People seem much more guarded and careful. I dont wanna get into that whole "behaviour at a munch" argument so dont go there.. Ive mentioned the change to other people and theyve agreed with me.. its kinda strange.
Ive said in the past "right thats it, im going to take a break" and it lasts ooooo all of two days. I dont work atm so im in this routine of coming on here at certain times of the day (god i sound set in my ways!!).
I know how u feel Earthy, Varca, Fabio and i hope this feeling passes cos i dont like it!!
Suze xx
Ive noticed that of late the social events have changed and almost become kinda "vanilla". People seem much more guarded and careful. I dont wanna get into that whole "behaviour at a munch" argument so dont go there.. Ive mentioned the change to other people and theyve agreed with me.. its kinda strange.
Ive said in the past "right thats it, im going to take a break" and it lasts ooooo all of two days. I dont work atm so im in this routine of coming on here at certain times of the day (god i sound set in my ways!!).
I know how u feel Earthy, Varca, Fabio and i hope this feeling passes cos i dont like it!!
Suze xx
when i was a kid, my parents used to smack us, particularly my brother and i absolutely hated hearing the sound of it. It used to really upset me and id pull my dad off of him.
When i had my own children and at one point had three under 5, the temptation to smack was there and sometimes i did slap them across the legs or bum but never a real good hiding. One occasion springs to my mind, my daughter who was about three at the time and a real little devil had played me up all day, and on the walk home i smacked the back of her legs. This old, weird woman who used to push her dog around in a pushchair and was known in the town as being very strange, came up to me and said "you arent supposed to do that, its illegal". I was absolutely fuming and stormed home, i felt like id been pushed to my limits by my daughter and how could that woman judge me so harshly??
As my kids have grown up and ive matured and yes, mellowed out, i only need to raise my voice a bit and glare at them and they know... oh yes, they know!!
I hate hearing kids upset in shops and its horrible hearing parents shout at them, but sometimes we forget how bloody hard it is to be a parent of toddlers!!
Suze xx
When i had my own children and at one point had three under 5, the temptation to smack was there and sometimes i did slap them across the legs or bum but never a real good hiding. One occasion springs to my mind, my daughter who was about three at the time and a real little devil had played me up all day, and on the walk home i smacked the back of her legs. This old, weird woman who used to push her dog around in a pushchair and was known in the town as being very strange, came up to me and said "you arent supposed to do that, its illegal". I was absolutely fuming and stormed home, i felt like id been pushed to my limits by my daughter and how could that woman judge me so harshly??
As my kids have grown up and ive matured and yes, mellowed out, i only need to raise my voice a bit and glare at them and they know... oh yes, they know!!
I hate hearing kids upset in shops and its horrible hearing parents shout at them, but sometimes we forget how bloody hard it is to be a parent of toddlers!!
Suze xx
Thanks to Alex and Marya for a fun and sociable evening.. great to see all our old mates, Darky, Earthy (one in a million), SexkittenHFX (see ya next week matey). Dammie and HLB (maybe see you next week), Marcuso, dont leave it so long next time, Stuart and Tanina - great mates and thanks for the snogs both, MartyCleveland, hope things work out for you hun, Steff, a lovely guy and good to see you.
Also of course good to meet some new faces and hope to see them again soon sometime, someplace.
It was a million miles away from Shropshire and was so strange to travel up in fantastic sunshine and then suddenly to be enveloped in this weird mist.. was like not being allowed back or summat!!
Took forever to get there and back and we are shattered today but my goodness it was worth it.
See y'all soon..
Suze xxx
Also of course good to meet some new faces and hope to see them again soon sometime, someplace.
It was a million miles away from Shropshire and was so strange to travel up in fantastic sunshine and then suddenly to be enveloped in this weird mist.. was like not being allowed back or summat!!
Took forever to get there and back and we are shattered today but my goodness it was worth it.
See y'all soon..
Suze xxx
Ive read most of the posts on this thread and all i can add is that i felt sooo sorry for Nathalie, she looked just devastated. She has another partner now who has said he would bring up the baby as his own. I can see the point of her ex i suppose, but as a mum of four, my heart really went out to Nathalie. I hope she manages to adopt or could she maybe find an egg donor??
Suze xx
Suze xx
Quote by hisandhers
my twin sister is in an abusive relationship. She has been married to this guy for the past 8 years. She was my best friend before she started going out with him. We did everything together - went shopping, went out, shared our deepest & darkest secrets with each other. i love her so much.
Unfortunatly now, I nor our family spend any time at tall with her. I phone her regulary but hear him in the background telling her to get off the phone :shock: She makes excuses all the time that she's getting the tea out or on her way out or putting their daughter to bed. Whatever time I phone day or night :cry:
edited to say that my dad has now died, unhappy to have seen her before he went on his journey :cry:
When I see her in town & she's with him, she shakes her head to say that she can't talk :cry:
As her family, my mum & dad & myself told her what we thought about his control over her. She agreed but told us that she wouldn't like to be on her own so she has stayed with him.
Currently, he has accused her of sleeping around as she has been diaganosed as having some abnormal cells in which they have to treat (first stages of cancer).
Most importantly though, is that she knows that I will always be there for her when or if she wishes me to be. What more can I do
He has taken over her personality & her life.
No- one has a right to change some-one. If you go into a relationship, I feel that you ought to accept that person for who they are.
Hope your friend has the strength to see what he really is hunYou can't do any more than what you are doing & that is keeping in contact so that she knows that she has a friend on her side.
For me, I will never give up on my twin sis
Ive just read this and i found it sooo sad. Must be awful for you to not be able to see or talk to your twin, the love you feel for her shines thru your post. Hope she one day comes to her senses and you can be together once again.
Suze xx
