Hello all,
It's my 3961st time here, and I just thought it was about time I reminded you that I'm not new.
Please don't be gentle with me, as I am impervious to subtlety.
I am a fair bit older than 18, so if anyone thinks they can revive a decrepit old timer....... think again, the knackers yard already have a deposit on me.
Thank you all, you seem a very misunderstood bunch, so if you are what you seem, then I've misunderstood, and you're therefore not misunderstood. If you're not what you seem, then you are understood, and I got it wrong, proving that you can be misunderstood. Understand?
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TheAnalogKid
Over 90 days ago
Straight Male, 119
0 miles · Cheshire
Forum
Unofficial calculations based on each male member having two testicles, and the occassional female having a pair too, compensatory factors for the imprecise non-spherical nature of each orb and of course, the effects of testicular orbit during physical sporting activities.... the super computer has computed...
it's a load of bollox
/TheKid
it's a load of bollox
/TheKid
I love that BBC article...
Reminds me of the Life Of Brian and the Judean People's Liberation Front vs the People's Liberation front of Judea...
So.. it's not a Swingers Club... it's a Club For Swingers, and they are no longer having rooms with beds, but bedrooms.
Those damn councillor's will be foiled by such subtifuge and obfuscation!
/TheKid
On a more sane not.... looks to me like it's in the middle of a bloody row of terraces. It's no wonder the neighbourhood aren't happy. Parking alone's going to be risky!
Reminds me of the Life Of Brian and the Judean People's Liberation Front vs the People's Liberation front of Judea...
So.. it's not a Swingers Club... it's a Club For Swingers, and they are no longer having rooms with beds, but bedrooms.
Those damn councillor's will be foiled by such subtifuge and obfuscation!
/TheKid
On a more sane not.... looks to me like it's in the middle of a bloody row of terraces. It's no wonder the neighbourhood aren't happy. Parking alone's going to be risky!
I think first and foremost you need to sit down and consider what type of swinging experience you'd prefer...
This is a massive sweeping generalisation, but I think it might help:-
If you're looking to swing with people you actually like, enjoying talki as well as the sex... maybe to meet regularly, or at least more than once, then a more private 1-2-1 meeting with another couple, or a small number of couples would be the better option.
If you're looking for a 'no strings attached' one night stand mad night of sex... just feeling horny, and want to be stimulated by seeing or participating on folk having sex.... then a club would be the better option.
Again, I'll repeat that this is a massively simplistic view... but not a bad starting point from which to start.
If you're worried about feeling under pressure in a 1-2-1 meet, then a) you're already with the wrong couple and b) it's not that much better at a club if you're paranoid and feel like the only folk not joining in.
Oh, and one small rule that you really should always remember...
Agree together on your boundaries - what you will do, and what you won't. NEVER EVER change those rules 'on the fly' whilst you're swinging. Even if your partner agrees at the time. It's a massive source of potential trouble the morning after.
Changing your rules is fine... but always change them in the cold light of day!...
Good Luck!!!!!
/TheKid
This is a massive sweeping generalisation, but I think it might help:-
If you're looking to swing with people you actually like, enjoying talki as well as the sex... maybe to meet regularly, or at least more than once, then a more private 1-2-1 meeting with another couple, or a small number of couples would be the better option.
If you're looking for a 'no strings attached' one night stand mad night of sex... just feeling horny, and want to be stimulated by seeing or participating on folk having sex.... then a club would be the better option.
Again, I'll repeat that this is a massively simplistic view... but not a bad starting point from which to start.
If you're worried about feeling under pressure in a 1-2-1 meet, then a) you're already with the wrong couple and b) it's not that much better at a club if you're paranoid and feel like the only folk not joining in.
Oh, and one small rule that you really should always remember...
Agree together on your boundaries - what you will do, and what you won't. NEVER EVER change those rules 'on the fly' whilst you're swinging. Even if your partner agrees at the time. It's a massive source of potential trouble the morning after.
Changing your rules is fine... but always change them in the cold light of day!...
Good Luck!!!!!
/TheKid
I can see a great deal os sense in the postings made so far, and largely I concur! However, they are equally quite from specific perspectives.
Swinging for some is still a very intimate and considered affair, and as such, an 18 year old is often considered to be 'too risky', 'too young' or 'too inexperienced' etc.
However, here's the good news...
There are still lots of couples who enjoy the 'younger man' scenario. They could be couples of a similar age (although relatively rare). MOst of the younger couples are looking for a bifem... since men have a real issue with insecurity about wife or g/f with another man (esp if the husband is only young too). You're still at an age when there are some serious uncertainties about handling seeing your partner with another. They could also be oldr couples who like the fantasy of younger men (more common than young couple seeking a young man).
Of all the options available to you though, I would consider the 'casual sex' type swinging theme to be most fruitful. I'm not about to criticise clubs for condoning casual sex, but, clubs tend to be a slightly more 'one night only' affair. Where if you take someone's fancy, you might well enjoy your first taste of swinging. In this situation, it's purely physical sex... make no mistake, you will be used for sex, and enjoyed, but that will be the end of it... wham bam, and thank you young man. Your only problem here is that many clubs won't allow single males of 18 years old to enter. The reason?... because many who have gone before you have acted like idiots in a candy store, and exhibited all the traits that older couples fear.... lack of respect / patience / sexual maturity.
Summary -
Get yourself off to a club, behave impecably, never be pushy or rude, and wait to be approached. If you're not approached, just watch and learn. Good luck!!!!
/TheKid
Oh to be 19 again... 'cos 18's crap lol
Swinging for some is still a very intimate and considered affair, and as such, an 18 year old is often considered to be 'too risky', 'too young' or 'too inexperienced' etc.
However, here's the good news...
There are still lots of couples who enjoy the 'younger man' scenario. They could be couples of a similar age (although relatively rare). MOst of the younger couples are looking for a bifem... since men have a real issue with insecurity about wife or g/f with another man (esp if the husband is only young too). You're still at an age when there are some serious uncertainties about handling seeing your partner with another. They could also be oldr couples who like the fantasy of younger men (more common than young couple seeking a young man).
Of all the options available to you though, I would consider the 'casual sex' type swinging theme to be most fruitful. I'm not about to criticise clubs for condoning casual sex, but, clubs tend to be a slightly more 'one night only' affair. Where if you take someone's fancy, you might well enjoy your first taste of swinging. In this situation, it's purely physical sex... make no mistake, you will be used for sex, and enjoyed, but that will be the end of it... wham bam, and thank you young man. Your only problem here is that many clubs won't allow single males of 18 years old to enter. The reason?... because many who have gone before you have acted like idiots in a candy store, and exhibited all the traits that older couples fear.... lack of respect / patience / sexual maturity.
Summary -
Get yourself off to a club, behave impecably, never be pushy or rude, and wait to be approached. If you're not approached, just watch and learn. Good luck!!!!
/TheKid
Oh to be 19 again... 'cos 18's crap lol
There are so very few ways to convey what's inside out hearts and minds accurately to another person .
Art is one, music another, language too.
Of course people can make mistakes, nothing at all wrong with that, but you can get a feel for how purposefully someone tries to convey a sentiment.
I cannot help but draw a conclusion that if people cannot attempt to convey something well in conversation, then they will almost certainly fail to do so physically and emotionally too. But then I'm a cynic.
/TheKid
Art is one, music another, language too.
Of course people can make mistakes, nothing at all wrong with that, but you can get a feel for how purposefully someone tries to convey a sentiment.
I cannot help but draw a conclusion that if people cannot attempt to convey something well in conversation, then they will almost certainly fail to do so physically and emotionally too. But then I'm a cynic.
/TheKid
Ok - second thread lol...
Top 10 tips for insecure swingers.
1) Swinging is a mutual activity if you're a couple. That means if you're male and your wife's not bi... don't try to persuade her to be.
2) If it's all about seeing your partner pleasured - why are you stopping her enjoying that other guy?
3) If your partner's having the time of their life, and you're not - don't go crying to them like a baby. You wanted this as much as they did - remember?
4) If your relationship needs 'spicing up' - don't start swinging. Swinging is far better suited to already great relationships that don't NEED spicing up, just enjoy the variety of spice.
5) "I'll think about it" - does not mean your partner enjoys the idea of swinging, nor does it constitute a pending 'yes'.
6) She is gonna see a bigger dick... and he is going to see a younger slimmer woman. Get used to that now - because you're in for an emotional roller coaster ride if you think you can manufacture a world where you can both swing and yet not have your partner exposed to the things that you fear.
7) If you can't muster up the courage to chat / phone people - then how the hell do you expect to be able to share a bed with them?
8 ) If it's Saturday night, and you're online at midnight begging for folk to join you.... then it's time to log off and seriously revisit your relationship. If you can't find enough pleasure in each other when there are no other swingers around, then it tells a story of its own doesn't it?
9) Constantly suggesting the same activity (to which you partner has already indicated a reluctance) isn't persuasion, it's bullying. Decent partners have a habit of giving way to persistence for you benefit. Don't be a bully.
10) NEVER ever ever ever break a rule in the middle of a swinging session. Know your rules and stick to them. If you have a change of heart, then talk about new rules later, never break them in the heat of the moment. There is nothing worse than seeing your partner do something you agreed not to do, even if you both agree in the heat of the moment, don't do it. There will be another time.
/TheKid
Top 10 tips for insecure swingers.
1) Swinging is a mutual activity if you're a couple. That means if you're male and your wife's not bi... don't try to persuade her to be.
2) If it's all about seeing your partner pleasured - why are you stopping her enjoying that other guy?
3) If your partner's having the time of their life, and you're not - don't go crying to them like a baby. You wanted this as much as they did - remember?
4) If your relationship needs 'spicing up' - don't start swinging. Swinging is far better suited to already great relationships that don't NEED spicing up, just enjoy the variety of spice.
5) "I'll think about it" - does not mean your partner enjoys the idea of swinging, nor does it constitute a pending 'yes'.
6) She is gonna see a bigger dick... and he is going to see a younger slimmer woman. Get used to that now - because you're in for an emotional roller coaster ride if you think you can manufacture a world where you can both swing and yet not have your partner exposed to the things that you fear.
7) If you can't muster up the courage to chat / phone people - then how the hell do you expect to be able to share a bed with them?
8 ) If it's Saturday night, and you're online at midnight begging for folk to join you.... then it's time to log off and seriously revisit your relationship. If you can't find enough pleasure in each other when there are no other swingers around, then it tells a story of its own doesn't it?
9) Constantly suggesting the same activity (to which you partner has already indicated a reluctance) isn't persuasion, it's bullying. Decent partners have a habit of giving way to persistence for you benefit. Don't be a bully.
10) NEVER ever ever ever break a rule in the middle of a swinging session. Know your rules and stick to them. If you have a change of heart, then talk about new rules later, never break them in the heat of the moment. There is nothing worse than seeing your partner do something you agreed not to do, even if you both agree in the heat of the moment, don't do it. There will be another time.
/TheKid
It's a community... we find things to do given the range of tools the site offers - chat, the forum, adverts etc.
Join in the banter in the chatroom, or if you prefer a more restrained approach, the forum can be fun.
But remember... this is a site where swingers congregate, not all the chat is about swinging!
Enjoy your stay!
/TheKid
Join in the banter in the chatroom, or if you prefer a more restrained approach, the forum can be fun.
But remember... this is a site where swingers congregate, not all the chat is about swinging!
Enjoy your stay!
/TheKid
Sadly, this is no better illustrated by people coming to the site, not reading existing threads, merely making sweeping generalisations in block capitals for emphasis.
Sentences beginning with 'it should be', 'you need to' etc tend to be rude and rarely constructive.
Slow down on the 'all guns blazing' front, and increase the signal to noise ratio by offering constructive input.
Nuff said.
/TheKid
Sentences beginning with 'it should be', 'you need to' etc tend to be rude and rarely constructive.
Slow down on the 'all guns blazing' front, and increase the signal to noise ratio by offering constructive input.
Nuff said.
/TheKid
OK, this is partly gripe, partly humour (it's true that truth is stranger than fiction)....
OK, here's my list of top 10 DON'TS for swingers adverts.
1) Don't say "genuine couple" or "no timewasters please".
I can almost hear the timewasters themselves saying "aww shucks, that rules us out then".
2) Don't say "First timers" then accompany the advert with a pic of you both in a foursome scene!
3) Don't blur out the faces, and then forget to blur out the American sockets in the background.... from where you stole the bloody pictures in the first place.
4) Don't post as a single male and a couple using the same contact email address.... it's highly suspicious, especially when you can't even agree on what age you are across the adverts
5) Don't claim to be hung like a horse, then shy away from proving it. If you're going to shout about it - put your money (or your cock) where your mouth is. Erm, you know what I mean!
6) Understand the English language and comprehend what "couples seeking females" means. That means if you're a single guy, don't post there. Not only will it increase the number of folk seeing your advert, it will increase the number of them thinking you're as thick as a plank.
7) If you must put up a pic of your cock, try to post it along with a picture of the rest of you. I'm sure it looks lovely to you, and is a very close friend, but they really do all look rather similar (with the exception of SellafieldSimon's luminous green one).
8 ) 'Professional' is (stop grinning) spelt with only one F and 'intelligent' has two Ls.
You have no idea how daft "Proffesional, inteligent guy" looks.
9) Try to maintain a consistent notion of how many of you there are. 'We' means more than one of you. Therefore "I am a couple" is a) logically absurd b) indicative of a single bloke thinking he's a couple.
10) If you're in Berkshire, keep it that way. Don't post an advert saying you're in Berkshire, then change to Bedfordshire as soon as some highly fanciable woman posts her Luton advert.
OK, here's my list of top 10 DON'TS for swingers adverts.
1) Don't say "genuine couple" or "no timewasters please".
I can almost hear the timewasters themselves saying "aww shucks, that rules us out then".
2) Don't say "First timers" then accompany the advert with a pic of you both in a foursome scene!
3) Don't blur out the faces, and then forget to blur out the American sockets in the background.... from where you stole the bloody pictures in the first place.
4) Don't post as a single male and a couple using the same contact email address.... it's highly suspicious, especially when you can't even agree on what age you are across the adverts
5) Don't claim to be hung like a horse, then shy away from proving it. If you're going to shout about it - put your money (or your cock) where your mouth is. Erm, you know what I mean!
6) Understand the English language and comprehend what "couples seeking females" means. That means if you're a single guy, don't post there. Not only will it increase the number of folk seeing your advert, it will increase the number of them thinking you're as thick as a plank.
7) If you must put up a pic of your cock, try to post it along with a picture of the rest of you. I'm sure it looks lovely to you, and is a very close friend, but they really do all look rather similar (with the exception of SellafieldSimon's luminous green one).
8 ) 'Professional' is (stop grinning) spelt with only one F and 'intelligent' has two Ls.
You have no idea how daft "Proffesional, inteligent guy" looks.
9) Try to maintain a consistent notion of how many of you there are. 'We' means more than one of you. Therefore "I am a couple" is a) logically absurd b) indicative of a single bloke thinking he's a couple.
10) If you're in Berkshire, keep it that way. Don't post an advert saying you're in Berkshire, then change to Bedfordshire as soon as some highly fanciable woman posts her Luton advert.
People use this site in a variety of ways, some merely for advertisements, some for chat, some for information and some for the banter of the fora.
It's unfair for the fora users to expect everyone to like this form of communication. That's why there's a number of alternative ways of communicating. Besides, quality is better than quantity right?
On the 'free site' thing... I'm sure many folk would willingly contribute some money, that said, part of this sites spirit lies in the 'community' feeling it has. When money exchanges hands, things change. People then start placing expectations on the site... making greater demands on it's content (since they are paying customers) etc. Mark's running costs aside, I think it's great that free sites exist. Part of what makes such sites stand out is the fact that they're free... it's indicative of the type of site, and virtues it extols. Adult-Paycheck and the like are an immediate turn off to many.
Let's not worry about how other folk don't use the site as much as they should / could... let's worry about WE do!!!. We can't legislate for folks using the site for a week or two then moving on.... that's life.
/TheKid
It's unfair for the fora users to expect everyone to like this form of communication. That's why there's a number of alternative ways of communicating. Besides, quality is better than quantity right?
On the 'free site' thing... I'm sure many folk would willingly contribute some money, that said, part of this sites spirit lies in the 'community' feeling it has. When money exchanges hands, things change. People then start placing expectations on the site... making greater demands on it's content (since they are paying customers) etc. Mark's running costs aside, I think it's great that free sites exist. Part of what makes such sites stand out is the fact that they're free... it's indicative of the type of site, and virtues it extols. Adult-Paycheck and the like are an immediate turn off to many.
Let's not worry about how other folk don't use the site as much as they should / could... let's worry about WE do!!!. We can't legislate for folks using the site for a week or two then moving on.... that's life.
/TheKid