This is a test DESIGNED BY REAL MEN, intended FOR REAL MEN ONLY. Circle the best answer to each question below.
1.) impotence is
a. rude or disrespectful behavior
b. helpful when you need dinner reservations or theater tickets
c. when you care enough to give her a break from her sexual duties
1.) A menstrual cycle has
a. three wheels
b. two wheels
c. no wheels...it just drags along
2.) The G-spot is
a. a key on the piano
b. close to the F-spot
c. imaginary - dreamed up by feminists to persecute men
3.) Masturbate refers to
a. the best fishing lure for big fish
b. everyone joining in the discussion
c. the rewards enjoyed by a man who does his best work alone
4.) Premature ejaculation is
a. a man younger than 18 having sex
b. soiling your new PLAYBOY before you get to the centerfold
c. the ultimate testament to your woman's overpowering sex appeal
5.)A Douche is
a. one rank above Earl
b. a playing card with the number "2"
c. French for "You're fresh out of luck tonight"
6.) Lesbian refers to
a. someone from the Middle East
b. a French word for "the well"
c. a woman trying to do what a man does better
7.) Vagina is
a. a heart disease
b. a state near Washington DC
c. like a Club Med - a retreat where kids aren't your responsibility
8.) Pornography is
a. the business of making records
b. the science of loaning money against hocked valuables
c. better than foreplay - you're ready before she hits the sheets
9.) KOTEX is
a. a radio station in Los Angeles
b. a synthetic fiber for outerwear
c. a chastity belt for women who don't need one
10.)A wet dream is likely to occur
a. when your roof begins to leak at night
b. reading the Sports Illustrated swimsuit edition
c. when a work accident has disabled both your hands
SCORING: The correct answer to all questions is (c).
If you got 10 CORRECT:
You are a real man. The only romantic challenge you face is finding a woman worthy of your attentions.
If you got 6-9 CORRECT:
You are still a man...but you need to spend more time riding in pickup trucks, talking to chicks on sex hotlines, visiting internet pornography sites...
If you got 1-5 CORRECT:
Liberals, feminists, fairies and wimps are chipping away at your manhood. Stay away from open, honest discussions of sexuality...anyone's sexuality!
if you got NONE CORRECT:
It's time for sex change surgery, testosterone replacement therapy, monastic life or marriage.
Useful English System conversions/units:
(American but funny...)
Ratio of an igloo's circumference to its diameter: Eskimo Pi
2.4 statute miles of intravenous surgical tubing at Yale University Hospital: 1 I.V. League
2000 pounds of Chinese soup: Won ton
1 millionth mouthwash: 1 microscope
Speed of a tortoise breaking the sound barrier: Mach Turtle
Time it takes to sail 220 yards at 1 nautical mile per hour: Knot-furlong
16.5 feet in the Twilight Zone: 1 Rod Sterling
Half of a large intestine: 1 semicolon
1000 aches: 1 megahurtz
Weight an evangelist carries with God: 1 billigram
Basic unit of laryngitis: 1 hoarsepower
Shortest distance between two jokes: A straight line
Time between slipping on a peel and smacking the pavement: bananosecond
A Half-Bath: 1 demijohn
1 million microphones: 1 megaphone
1 million bicycles: 2 megacycles
2200 mockingbirds: two kilomockingbirds
10 cards: 1 decacards
1 kilogram of falling figs: 1 Fig Newton
1000 grams of wet socks: 1 literhosen
1 millionth of a fish: 1 microfiche
1 pins: 1 terrapin
1 million billion picolos: 1 gigolo
10 rations: 1 decoration
100 rations: 1 C-ration
10 millipedes: 1 centipede
3 1/3 tridents: 1 decadent
10 monologs: 5 dialogs
5 dialogs: 1 decalog
2 monograms: 1 diagram
8 nickels: 2 paradigms
2 wharves: 1 paradox
Bumper Stickers
GROW YOUR OWN DOPE, PLANT A MAN.
I used to have a handle on life, but it broke.
WANTED: Meaningful overnight relationship.
I need someone really bad...Are you really bad?
Beauty is in the eye of the beer holder.
Hiya peeps.............
If no-one has ready answered this correctly.......... then I'll tell you - it's Odyssey.
This is the very 1st - but not the last.... posting from Wibbly Wobbly's other half - GT
GT = Good Tonguer... or.... Great Talker .... or ... Good Tickler.... or ............
hehehehehe
