I remember them only in my dreams now :cry:
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ananga__ranga
Over 90 days ago
Straight Male, 50
Forum
ORGASM TYPES
Sex in a boat = Oargasms
Sex with a nerd = Dorkgasms
Sex at the entrance to your house = Doorgasms
Sex on the carpet or linoleum = Floorgasms
Sex at the supermarket = Storegasms
Sex with wild pigs = Boargasms
Sex at a Stephen King movie = Horrorgasms
Sex with a prostitue = Whoregasms
Sex with a storyteller = Loregasms
Sex with an accountant = Boregasms
Sex while sleeping = Snoregasms
Sex with Arthur = Dudley Mooregasms
Sex with cartoon donkeys = Eeyoregasms
Sex while broke = Poorgasms
Sex with a lion = Roargasms
Sex for hours and hours on end = Soregasms
Sex on a golf course = Foregasms
Sex with a nymphomaniac = Ready for Moregasms
Sex in a gold mine = Oregasms
Sex with a dermatologist = Poregasms
Sex with the vice president = Al Goregasms
Sex with chocolate marshmallows = S'moregasms
Sex with a bullfighter = Toreadorgasms
Sex with a masked man carrying a sword = Zorogasms
Sex on the beach = Shoregasms
Sex when you get an award = Honogasms
Sex at an all you can eat buffet = Smorgasbordgasms
Sex on a cruise ship deck = Shuffleboardgasms
Sex in Asia = Singaporegasms
Sex among the wonders of the world = Outdoorgasms
Sex in the vicinity of garbage can = odorgasms
Sex on the way to the train = All aboardgasms
Sex that isn't very satisfying = there's the doorgasms
Sex during hay fever season = Sporegasms
Sex using plastic cutlery = Sporkgasms
Sex with a Medieval poet = Troubadorgasms
Sex in an adult theater = Hardcoregasms
Sex with conquering Spaniards = Conquistadorgasms
Sex with someone not paying attention = Ignorgasms
Sex with a competitive partner = scoregasms
Sex in a firehouse = Firedoorgasms
Sex with an Icelandic singer = Bjorkgasms
Sex with the host of a horrible t.v. show = Pauly Shoregasms
Sex with a cookie = Oreogasms
Sex while flying = Soargasms
Sex with a bugle player = Horngasms
Sex with an astronaut who didn't make it into space = Abortgasms
Sex with a beloved partner = Adoregasms
Sex with a meat eater = Carnivoregasms
Sex with a person who's got a really bad hairdo = Pompadoregasms
Sex with someone who has really bad taste in clothes = Velourgasms
Sex while sightseeing = Tourgasms
Sex with a big dog = Labradorgasms
Sex with Beavs and Butthead = Gonnascoregasms
Sex during an earthquake = Tremorgasms
Sex on farm implements = Tractorgasms
Sex with Thomas Edison = Inventorgasms
Sex with a construction worker = Contractorgasms
Sex at a symphony orchestra = Conductorgasms
Sex with a person who examines dead bodies = Coronergasms
Sex on the stairs at the mall = Escalatorgasms
Sex while hopelessly drunk on shooters = Liquorgasms
Sex with a possessive partner = Yourgasms
Sex with Frankenstein's assistant = Igorgasms
Sex with three of your friends = Fourgasms
Sex with a Norse God = Thorgasms
Sex when resistance is futile = Borggasms
Sex without a climax = Nogasms
Sex in a boat = Oargasms
Sex with a nerd = Dorkgasms
Sex at the entrance to your house = Doorgasms
Sex on the carpet or linoleum = Floorgasms
Sex at the supermarket = Storegasms
Sex with wild pigs = Boargasms
Sex at a Stephen King movie = Horrorgasms
Sex with a prostitue = Whoregasms
Sex with a storyteller = Loregasms
Sex with an accountant = Boregasms
Sex while sleeping = Snoregasms
Sex with Arthur = Dudley Mooregasms
Sex with cartoon donkeys = Eeyoregasms
Sex while broke = Poorgasms
Sex with a lion = Roargasms
Sex for hours and hours on end = Soregasms
Sex on a golf course = Foregasms
Sex with a nymphomaniac = Ready for Moregasms
Sex in a gold mine = Oregasms
Sex with a dermatologist = Poregasms
Sex with the vice president = Al Goregasms
Sex with chocolate marshmallows = S'moregasms
Sex with a bullfighter = Toreadorgasms
Sex with a masked man carrying a sword = Zorogasms
Sex on the beach = Shoregasms
Sex when you get an award = Honogasms
Sex at an all you can eat buffet = Smorgasbordgasms
Sex on a cruise ship deck = Shuffleboardgasms
Sex in Asia = Singaporegasms
Sex among the wonders of the world = Outdoorgasms
Sex in the vicinity of garbage can = odorgasms
Sex on the way to the train = All aboardgasms
Sex that isn't very satisfying = there's the doorgasms
Sex during hay fever season = Sporegasms
Sex using plastic cutlery = Sporkgasms
Sex with a Medieval poet = Troubadorgasms
Sex in an adult theater = Hardcoregasms
Sex with conquering Spaniards = Conquistadorgasms
Sex with someone not paying attention = Ignorgasms
Sex with a competitive partner = scoregasms
Sex in a firehouse = Firedoorgasms
Sex with an Icelandic singer = Bjorkgasms
Sex with the host of a horrible t.v. show = Pauly Shoregasms
Sex with a cookie = Oreogasms
Sex while flying = Soargasms
Sex with a bugle player = Horngasms
Sex with an astronaut who didn't make it into space = Abortgasms
Sex with a beloved partner = Adoregasms
Sex with a meat eater = Carnivoregasms
Sex with a person who's got a really bad hairdo = Pompadoregasms
Sex with someone who has really bad taste in clothes = Velourgasms
Sex while sightseeing = Tourgasms
Sex with a big dog = Labradorgasms
Sex with Beavs and Butthead = Gonnascoregasms
Sex during an earthquake = Tremorgasms
Sex on farm implements = Tractorgasms
Sex with Thomas Edison = Inventorgasms
Sex with a construction worker = Contractorgasms
Sex at a symphony orchestra = Conductorgasms
Sex with a person who examines dead bodies = Coronergasms
Sex on the stairs at the mall = Escalatorgasms
Sex while hopelessly drunk on shooters = Liquorgasms
Sex with a possessive partner = Yourgasms
Sex with Frankenstein's assistant = Igorgasms
Sex with three of your friends = Fourgasms
Sex with a Norse God = Thorgasms
Sex when resistance is futile = Borggasms
Sex without a climax = Nogasms
Hopefully head off to a particular Mediterranian island, stay for a few months again.
the 50 degree heat, golden beaches, clear warm sea, stay in a friends home that happens to be a villa in the mountains, nobody for miles hmmm....
Well thats great, all by myself stuck on a blooming mountain!
the 50 degree heat, golden beaches, clear warm sea, stay in a friends home that happens to be a villa in the mountains, nobody for miles hmmm....
Well thats great, all by myself stuck on a blooming mountain!
Quote by Jags
If you keep records then send the information to one of US (little green coats and Moderators on the side panel) and we will deal with them pronto.
The first email you quoted is being sent a lot and we'd love to ban them. So, rather than post here about the bad experiences send the details to the people who 'can' and then get on with enjoying the good experiences.
We rely on the members for that kind of information.
:P
Will do Jags
I keep a detailed record of people I reply to in order not to rewrite to the same ads.
Iam not expecting a wave of lovers to drown me because Iam simply became a member of SH and written a couple of e-mails, but the type of responses are getting ridiculous.
For example getting an e-mail from someone I did not even write to let alone even seen their ad! (email below)
What a waste of time advertising on Swing heaven, complete utter droids
replying. DON'T WANNA KNOW ANYMORE
Where does a nice lady like me go .... FOUND IT.
All your Swing Heaven timewasters and kiddies go away OK
PS: If you are a real swinger, don't you know you are amongst hundreds
of nutters !!!
TTFN TIMEWASTERS
**********
And then there are the ones trying to get you to go on a paying swinger’s site by enticing you with beautiful women that haven’t seen or read your ad but thy still want your body!
(e-mail below)
Thanks for your email
Delicious & Devious!!!
I am a Very Sexy Lady, Im looking for a guy who can meet my sexual
prowess who is not afraid to try new things i.e take sex to the extremes
!!!!!!! If this is you contact me, meet me & I will take you on the most
thrilling ride of your life.
PLEASE -- No more timewasters. If you are serious
then it's so easy to contact me here, see my
picture as well
(followed by the paying website)
Coming to a conclusion, are these e-mails from people trying to make us doubt SH in order to simply move on to there paying websites? Plus are you receiving similar e-mails? Or is someone simply having a laugh at our expense?
Iam not expecting a wave of lovers to drown me because Iam simply became a member of SH and written a couple of e-mails, but the type of responses are getting ridiculous.
For example getting an e-mail from someone I did not even write to let alone even seen their ad! (email below)
What a waste of time advertising on Swing heaven, complete utter droids
replying. DON'T WANNA KNOW ANYMORE
Where does a nice lady like me go .... FOUND IT.
All your Swing Heaven timewasters and kiddies go away OK
PS: If you are a real swinger, don't you know you are amongst hundreds
of nutters !!!
TTFN TIMEWASTERS
**********
And then there are the ones trying to get you to go on a paying swinger’s site by enticing you with beautiful women that haven’t seen or read your ad but thy still want your body!
(e-mail below)
Thanks for your email
Delicious & Devious!!!
I am a Very Sexy Lady, Im looking for a guy who can meet my sexual
prowess who is not afraid to try new things i.e take sex to the extremes
!!!!!!! If this is you contact me, meet me & I will take you on the most
thrilling ride of your life.
PLEASE -- No more timewasters. If you are serious
then it's so easy to contact me here, see my
picture as well
(followed by the paying website)
Coming to a conclusion, are these e-mails from people trying to make us doubt SH in order to simply move on to there paying websites? Plus are you receiving similar e-mails? Or is someone simply having a laugh at our expense?
ops:Quote by Tania
Well if there are so many of us living in North London, what's stopping us having a meet?
Are you offering to organise one?
No, I suck at organising things. I am good at organising others though...
How would you like the honour of getting a bunch of us together?Iam so Surprised to see so many Londoners, really I am. Most s.h. members seem to be so far far away (unfortunately) is it really that difficult to organise a meet, everyone???
Unfortunately I suck at organising full stop
:blink: :silly:
I've just read it and no offense to anyone but I smell :bs: if he's so busy juggling all these married women when does he find the time to sit in front of a pc and write a detaild story? In fact why bother in the first place 
: I think he is a single male frustrated that he has gotten no where with swinging heaven and is trying to cause mistrust amongst its couple members thats all.
: I think he is a single male frustrated that he has gotten no where with swinging heaven and is trying to cause mistrust amongst its couple members thats all. Hiya
I know a really nice bi guy who preferred his female lovers not to wash for just over a week down below. Then in due course he’d go down on them and in his famous words “I’d lick them clean†wow!
How do you prefer your lovers; sterile clean in between or just down right cheesy?
If there are those wanting to meet this particular guy, sorry, he’s got himself into a long term non swinging relationship
, that’s absolutely disgusting!
:sad:
I know a really nice bi guy who preferred his female lovers not to wash for just over a week down below. Then in due course he’d go down on them and in his famous words “I’d lick them clean†wow!
How do you prefer your lovers; sterile clean in between or just down right cheesy?
If there are those wanting to meet this particular guy, sorry, he’s got himself into a long term non swinging relationship
, that’s absolutely disgusting!:sad:
Hi,
Recently got back from Amsterdam, again, and on their equivalent of Oxford Street there is a Sex Museum, going into practically every aspect of human sexuality and I mean every aspect, as graphic as it gets
hwoar: , a real proper museum, as far as I know theres even one in Shanghi.
Should we have our own, or does one already exist??
Recently got back from Amsterdam, again, and on their equivalent of Oxford Street there is a Sex Museum, going into practically every aspect of human sexuality and I mean every aspect, as graphic as it gets
hwoar: , a real proper museum, as far as I know theres even one in Shanghi.Should we have our own, or does one already exist??
