Quote by markz
I saw a clean white van once
:rotflmao: :rotflmao: Join the most popular community of UK swingers now
Login
awol
Over 90 days ago
Straight Male, 60
0 miles · Greater London
Forum
ops: :oops:Quote by well_busty_babe
if it goes in alphabetical order i will NEVER get one"!!!!!!!
:cry: :cry: :cry: :cry: :cry: :cry: :cry: :cry: :cry:
ohh please don't cry did you really think anyone was going to take any notice of me? I'm a newbie
like Claire says you'll probably get loads (loads of what I dunno but I'm sure it'll be loads 
) Quote by Mac69
How about having a word of the week or somesuch. We could all try to use the word in at least one message during the word's lifetime.
My vote for this week is "Lickspittle" 'cos it has a certain je ne whatever....
nahh don't think it'll catch on that's a lickspittle of an idea I'm afraid
Quote by bailiffs
well in reply to this i thought id be clever and get two pics of shaven n hairy but i went to google and typed in "bush" but erm................i wouldnt want to lick this bush :twisted:
er something like this you mean?
lovely aren't they?
(I wonder if this post is gonna get nuked
Quote by Maia
... most of my gay guy friends say that men are far better at BJs than women are...
If this is so, it follows then, that the best cunnilingus a woman will ever get will be from another woman.....?
Actually I'm not too sure about this "women for women and men for men is best" etc. I firmly believe that if you are still not on the feeling/receiving end of things you can't do it "properly" as everyone's taste and likes are very different... so you could still be doing it wrong or not 100% right for the receiving person, unless they tell you exactly how they like it
I wouldn't call computer games a waste of time - after all it's a billion pound industry - and definitely not just for kids, but personally I'd rather use my time (computer time) doing other things. Also I know computer games can be seriously addictive so I tend not to play games at all otherwise I'd spend all or at least a lot of my precious free time doing nothing but playing games.
I agree with your comments about soaps/reality life TV etc. can't stand them
But if you or your wife thinks computer gaming it's getting in the way of you life, etc. maybe you could restrict your playing to a few hours and she could restrict her TV soaps viewing to a few then you'll get more free time to get on with the nicer things in life like having great sex
I agree with your comments about soaps/reality life TV etc. can't stand them
But if you or your wife thinks computer gaming it's getting in the way of you life, etc. maybe you could restrict your playing to a few hours and she could restrict her TV soaps viewing to a few then you'll get more free time to get on with the nicer things in life like having great sex
Quote by tanglewood72
now, im flattered that someone would want to use one of my designs, the question id like to ask all you long standing peeps is, should i let him?
I should think that's entirely up to you... as long as he credits you with the artwork it should be fine. After all he'll be giving you free publicity
nice work by the way - oh one little comment would you consider warning on the home page (for those with dial up) that your site is heavyly graphics based? Just a thought
Quote by Hornet harlot
Why is everyone so precious about newbies?
Why? Don't you want fresh blood? If you don't get freshened up from time to time you get stagnant non?
Quote by Jiggle
and to be fair.. who actually read the AUP when they first join, casue i know i never did. and to a newbie what does AUP stand for!..
well, I did, and even though I followed it to the letter I had threads deleted
: they were not rude or arsy or whatever you want to call it but things like that can scare newbies off... (am still not scared though :D)What I find weird is that "oldies" get away with starting silly threads like "what colour is your urine" and the oldies go ohhh wow you're so funny heehee haahaa etc. I'm sure a newbie would get bashed to pieces if they started one like that
Also when does a newbie cease to be a newbie? Is there a rule, time limit etc?
If the huge number of newbies joining cause oldies so much consternation maybe there should be a small charge to join the board? Maybe that way we/you could weed out the trolls from the genuine newbies who really wnat to join the SH community?
Quote by da69ve
If there are men who pay women to accompany them to swinging clubs...wouldn't it be cheaper just to pay the single guys membership fee at the end of the day??
according to the intro/rules/info of one of the clubs listed on SH there are men who pay women to get them through "couples only" nights (something the clubs does not like cos they are not really a couple), the paid ladies' job is only to get them through the door they then refuse to play... but yes you're right sounds too expensive but if that's what rocks their boat and if they have the money well it's up to them I suppose..
Quote by wildwilly
the problem is exacerbated when you are with a couple, they already have their likes and dislikes and know exactly how far to push it (no pun intended). Communication can breakdown in those circumstances because the couple may be attuned to only their partners fulfillment, and you are left battered and bruised playing "piggy in the middle"
but Willly, surely you already discussed likes and dislikes prior to the meet? or even at the initial chat and get to know each other meeting?
also it wouldn't hurt asking gently how does he/she like it/this etc?
: Quote by bailiffs
erm....... lol i wont be cueing that fucker wud hurt!!!!.......ow!!!!...........id rather have a small un hunni hate to dissapoint!!!!!!
pmsl
lou xxx
I knew it!!!! t I mean you just can't keep wimmin happy
first they want a big one - when you manage to get one they say they want a lil one!!! women! pah!
Quote by bigDewi69
I got this through my e-mail today, from someone who got my e-mail address from this site. Included are their e-mail message, and my metered reply
Had that one too (and a few other similar ones), that's why I made my email address invisible in my ads.
Normally I tend to ignore that kind of spam emails as I feel they don't bother to read replies, imagine if you were the spammer would you read any replies angry or otherwise? Their purpose is to make us look at their website via a premium number they don't really want to engage in a convo with us.
Quote by Manolishi
Ummmmmmm dont know who to pm - I knew this shy thing would catch up to me one day!
you and me mate...
actually since I joined I haven't PMed many people - and the majority of the PMs I sent were to mods regarding questions about the site etc. I think you've got it though - the shy thing gets in the way... but now I have an excuse to pester people via PM and I can blame Dawn mwahaha! :twisted:
Quote by bailiffs
But in all fairness I think most swinging related topics may have already been covered. How does one revive the topic without "The search button is your friend" brigade rushing in?
And if on a swinging site all we talk about is sex doesn't that seem a little tunnel visioned? After all, some people are here to get to know each other.
Exactly!!!! :shock:
I agree!
aaaaaaaaand this is not one liner - the eagled eyed amongst you will notice it's a TWO liner OK?
Quote by redstilletto
what is so wrong with one line replies ........some of us dont have all day to sit here posting
i personally dont want to broadcast my private life via a forum
and i dont want to get into heated debates with other members
lifes to bloody short to be moaning all the time
Maybe I should explain that the one liners I meant are the ones that go like "yeah baby!" "and you too", "what she/he said", "oh you're so clever", "hahaha", yeeehaaa, etc.
I mean they really don't contribute much, but that wasn't a moan really, people are entitled to post what they like. What I was trying to convery across is the fact that it's not only newbies who post too much or "crap" as it's being said at the beginning of this thread. Oldies are just as guilty. Of course nobody is expected to sit here all day to broadcast their lives - we all have a life away from SH I'm sure.
There are some very good oneliners and loads very, very bad ones (and I'm guilty of those too); but on the whole I follow the rule "if you don't like it, don't read it" and just ignore those posts.
I agree with Libra+Love's opinions on this subject by the way.
PS. If I ever post a boring crap oneliner please someone shoot me!! :shock:
Quote by mal609
That was just sooooooooo funny!
I've nicked it now, so someone else can enjoy it!
Nice one! :lol:
Mal
Quote by Jas-Tim
Touch wood - I've never had a problem with NTL, but that letter is bloody brilliant.
Own up G, was it you?
Jas
XXX
Quote by Silk and Big G
Its Silk here
:doh:
THE SEARCH BUTTON IS YOUR FRIEND!! (Ha! I always wanted to say that to the non-newbies :twisted: ) it's been done before... by yours truly!!
http://www.swingingheaven.co.uk/swingers-forum/viewpost/360194.html#360194
as I said in that post; I originally received that letter by email as joke but it is presumed to be true...
ahhh well
:rotflmao: :rotflmao: Quote by fabio grooverider
can i now ask a question.... is there anyway they we can encourage people that it is quality and not quantity that counts??? or have we gotten to the stage that so many new people want to come to muches and parties that we have created a rod for our own back in that people feel they have to write to become regulars regardless of what is written????????
sean xxxxxxxxx
I'm sorry I haven't read all the posts on this thread but I just wanted to comment on this.
It seems to me that it's not only the newbies who post in quantity... there are many an interesting threads highjacked by well known posters having a little tease at each other with one liners and emoticons thus taking the thread to a different outcome altogether. Yes I know that's the nature of the beast as it were but little quips or in-jokes are as tedious to read as crap posted by newbies wanting "to get noticed".
OK, now am off to read the rest of the posts on this thread ... ta very much for reading my boring post
Quote by Clare_Lincs
Ive noticed lately how many newbie posts there are and while im up for newbies introducing themselves is there not a better system that could be used?
Perhaps a stickie for newbies to introduce themselves and then everyone can go on there to say hello to them?
Just an idea,it'd be easier from a personal point of view to pop into one thread to have a look rather than loads of threads which I stopped looking at ages ago.
I suggested this ages ago and I was told off!! :cry: but I still think it's a very good idea.
A Lady Vicar wanted to raise money for her Church, and on being told by her Verger that there was a fortune to be made in dog racing, decided to buy a greyhound and enter it in the Town races.
"So where can I get a pedigree racing greyhound?" she asked him.
"At the local dog auction", replied the Verger.
When she got to the auction, the going price for any breed of dog was so high that she ended up buying a cat instead.
"I feel a complete idiot", she told the Verger the next day.
"Why?" he asked. "It's got four legs and a tail, hasn't it?"
"Well - yes..."
"And cats usually outrun dogs, don't they?"
"I suppose so", she replied doubtfully.
"So why not enter it in the races".
"A cat in a dog race?"
"Why not, there's nothing against it in the rules."
"Well..."
"What have you got to lose?"
"Alright - you've convinced me."
So she entered the cat in the next day's race and to her astonishment it came in third. The Verger was so delighted that he told the story to his mate on the local paper. The paper published the story on an inside pagewith the headline:
"Local Vicar shows off her pussy"
The Vicar was so pleased with the cat that she entered it in the next race the following week and this time it won. This caused such a sensation in the town that the local paper published a report on the
front page that read:
"VICAR'S PUSSY OUT IN FRONT!"
The Bishop was so upset by the publicity the Vicar was getting that he ordered her not to enter the cat in another race. The Verger told the paper. The next issue carried the headline:
"BISHOP SCRATCHES VICAR'S PUSSY"
This was too much for the Bishop. "Get rid of the cat!" he shouted down the telephone to the Vicar. "Or you can start looking for a new vocation!" The Vicar decided to give the cat to the nuns in a nearby convent. But the paper knew when it was on to a good story and the next day the following headline was splashed across the front page:
"NUNS HAVE BEST PUSSY IN TOWN!"
When he read this the Bishop fainted. An hour later he was on the telephone to the Mother Superior. "Get rid of that damn cat! I don't care what you do with it so long as it's out of my diocese and out of
the paper!" So the Mother Superior sold the cat to a farmer in the next town.
Next day the paper read: "NUN SELLS HER PUSSY FOR A TENNER!"
This Bishop had a heart attack. When he came out of hospital three weeks later he ordered the Vicar to buy back the cat and set it free in the local woods where, he added hopefully "The foxes should make short work of the evil little moggie!"
Unfortunately, the cat was caught by poachers who sold it to the local butcher where it was bought by the chef of a Chinese restaurant.
Next day the paper read: "BISHOP EATS VICAR'S PUSSY"
The Bishop was buried the following Wednesday.
"So where can I get a pedigree racing greyhound?" she asked him.
"At the local dog auction", replied the Verger.
When she got to the auction, the going price for any breed of dog was so high that she ended up buying a cat instead.
"I feel a complete idiot", she told the Verger the next day.
"Why?" he asked. "It's got four legs and a tail, hasn't it?"
"Well - yes..."
"And cats usually outrun dogs, don't they?"
"I suppose so", she replied doubtfully.
"So why not enter it in the races".
"A cat in a dog race?"
"Why not, there's nothing against it in the rules."
"Well..."
"What have you got to lose?"
"Alright - you've convinced me."
So she entered the cat in the next day's race and to her astonishment it came in third. The Verger was so delighted that he told the story to his mate on the local paper. The paper published the story on an inside pagewith the headline:
"Local Vicar shows off her pussy"
The Vicar was so pleased with the cat that she entered it in the next race the following week and this time it won. This caused such a sensation in the town that the local paper published a report on the
front page that read:
"VICAR'S PUSSY OUT IN FRONT!"
The Bishop was so upset by the publicity the Vicar was getting that he ordered her not to enter the cat in another race. The Verger told the paper. The next issue carried the headline:
"BISHOP SCRATCHES VICAR'S PUSSY"
This was too much for the Bishop. "Get rid of the cat!" he shouted down the telephone to the Vicar. "Or you can start looking for a new vocation!" The Vicar decided to give the cat to the nuns in a nearby convent. But the paper knew when it was on to a good story and the next day the following headline was splashed across the front page:
"NUNS HAVE BEST PUSSY IN TOWN!"
When he read this the Bishop fainted. An hour later he was on the telephone to the Mother Superior. "Get rid of that damn cat! I don't care what you do with it so long as it's out of my diocese and out of
the paper!" So the Mother Superior sold the cat to a farmer in the next town.
Next day the paper read: "NUN SELLS HER PUSSY FOR A TENNER!"
This Bishop had a heart attack. When he came out of hospital three weeks later he ordered the Vicar to buy back the cat and set it free in the local woods where, he added hopefully "The foxes should make short work of the evil little moggie!"
Unfortunately, the cat was caught by poachers who sold it to the local butcher where it was bought by the chef of a Chinese restaurant.
Next day the paper read: "BISHOP EATS VICAR'S PUSSY"
The Bishop was buried the following Wednesday.
