Awol's Forum Posts | Swinging Heaven

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awol

Over 90 days ago

Straight Male, 60

0 miles · Greater London

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26 Oct 2005

Nanny state, nanny state, let's ban anything that's howible and nasty, no matter people's own responsibility for their very own actions.
Let's get the government to sort out our own stupidity and turn us into little kiddies who can''t think for ouselves because we'll hurt ourselves by doing howible things!
Ban cars too, they kill people, or is it the drivers that do? Let's ban sex too, people get horrible diseases from it. Let's ban birds; avian flu is coming our way. Shoot any bird you see flying past your house....
Argh I think I'm a weird mood today....can anyone tell?
I need a wank!
evil

evil

Sorry if I have upset anyone of a sensitive disposition sad

sad

26 Oct 2005

Quote by Baggy Boy
Too Late - I've summoned up the energy and dun it. ops:

bugger me replying and you dun it already....
teach me to read the whole thread before I reply huh?
am off to crakone too ;) anyone wanks to the soothing sounds of Mozarts Requiem?
:twisted:

26 Oct 2005

Quote by Baggy Boy
I am sitting here in my office - bugger all to do and I have now got a raging hard on due to looking at some of the avatars on SH. :lol: :lol:
The question is should I risk having a wank or not. :roll:
Sensible answers only

Hell yes! Go for it where's your sense of adventure!
Wankers of the world UNITE!
(Is that sensible enough for ya mate?) smile

smile

26 Oct 2005

What I find amusing about this place is that if this thread had been started by a newbie they would have been told to shut up and use the bloody search button, they would've been shouted "we've done this a million times before!" blah blah blah and then the thread would have been locked, but because one who's in the.... what's that word mmm clique? inner circle?, wotevah......... it goes on and on and on and and on and on and.......... did I say on?
It gets actually quite boring seeing the same people over and over again having a go at the cheats and sumbags who don't swing proper like they do etc. come on!
Swingers, my dear dahlings..... always remember you're unique. Just like everyone else! wink

wink

26 Oct 2005

Quote by northwest-cpl
Go into most public places and choose a random stranger to ask an opinion on the morals of swingers. I would hazard a guess that it would not be 100% positive. We swingers, as defined above, are in society's eyes probably more perverted than someone who has an affair.
We do not own the moral high ground.

Well said that man! (woman? couple? perverted swinger?) well said anyway
Can I just say northwest-cpl you are a very wise er... couple biggrin

biggrin

26 Oct 2005

Quote by fabio grooverider
Something sparked me enough in threads on LMU to ask this... And i hope that i have phrased it in such a way that i have tried to keep it as impartial as possible.....
Maybe it is me, but i see a lot more married people coming here without their partners knowledge and see it being justified in varous different ways in what they are looking for......
can i just ask you all a few question......I suppose it goes out to any of the men/women in this position..... just want to get a few answer just because it may help the rest of us think of it in different ways
so you see it as 'No Strings Attached' sex.......and that is fair enough for you......
would your partner see it as 'NSA' if they found out???
if they would be fine about it why have you not told them what you are doing?? after all isn't honesty the best policy......
if they would go ballistic then is the sex you get worth the pain that you potentially put them thru.....
If the shoe was on the other foot, how in a sense would you feel......
I have deliberately not used the 'C' word in the thread as i was trying to keep it as non-contenious as humanly possible......
sean xxxxxxxxxxx

groan!
where's the "Seach button is your friend" brigade when you need them!
rolleyes

rolleyes

"Holier Than Thou" is all I can say

25 Oct 2005

Quote by Sexysteph
Sarg I am going AWOL tomorrow

You coming with me? Yipee hump

hump

25 Oct 2005

1. I taste better with full fat milk...
2. I once ate a roasted tarantula
biggrin

biggrin

24 Oct 2005

Quote by romus
Come on lads,how many have you caught your foreskin in your flies..

ouch! probably every man at one point in their lives sad

sad

bloody hell it hurts like hell dunnit?!
Anyone would think that the zip inventor was a woman bent on vengeance evil

evil

lol

22 Oct 2005

I've just read this whole thread :shock: ............... I'm not feeling very well neutral

neutral

22 Oct 2005

Quote by Phire
Right, I see where I'm going wrong now.
HELLO ALL YOU DIRTY BITCHES, COME AND SUCK MY COCK - NOW!
Is that more like it?

Maybe we could try it in different languages too (just in case - you never know there maybe real polyglot women here smile

smile

we want to increase our chances non?)
soooo... come on bitches
suck my cock
sucez mon coq
succhi il mio gallo
saugen Sie meinen Hahn
chupa mi gallo
there ... phew! am off to wait for the PMs flooding in ...
(thank God for google language services) biggrin

biggrin

22 Oct 2005

Italian, French, Scottish and Irish not necessarily in that order although when I'm getting a blow job I don't reallty care much about accents biggrin

biggrin

As for mine - has anyone ever heard a weetabix accent? Ha! Women just melt when I whisper sweet nothings to them :twisted:

19 Oct 2005

Quote by BiWelshMinx
oooooooo major strop there then!

I don't think s/he has had her/his Weetabix :P
Minx x x
Oi! I refuse to be had by him/her/it lol

lol

:lol: :lol:

19 Oct 2005

Quote by devondelight
Ah but my theory is that people here have a much more liberated mind set than the average Joe Bloggs. We are the exceptional ones, hence why so many of us are in the 2% league rather than the 98% league ... after all we are all much more adventurous and free from the constraints of convention .. all ready to take life by the scruff of its neck and wring the max out of it at every given chance we get.
:giggle: :beer: :swingingchair: :karaoke: :giggle:
DD

What a wonderful reply DD thank you - that really explains it. I've been racking my brains for something remotely clever to reply (specially to your last line) and I think I've go it:
Fancy a shag then? biggrin

biggrin

19 Oct 2005

Quote by bluexxx
At 1000 you become Godlike :smug: , at 10,000 you just end up looking like a sad git with no life......... I don't yet know what happens at 20,000 :shock: :shock: :shock:

Blue!!! just checked you have over 14,000 posts! You're a sad git! rotflmao

rotflmao

(don't ban me please!) biggrin

biggrin

please? please? noooooooooooooooooo please dooon't sad

sad

19 Oct 2005

Quote by SXBOY
our wonderfull football team

:laughabove: :laughabove:

Quote by Colts23
Well, being a Euro boy myself now..........I find myself missing more and more things from back home everyday
British bread :upset:

British bread? You're joking right? British bread is shite! I had to buy my own breadmaker to make proper bread (used to make it by hand but too time consuming). Continental bread is sublime, have you tried the many varieties of Italian bread, or Greek olive bread? Spanish bread is delicious! Don't tell me you're missing Tescos el cheapo bread that lasts 8 weeks without going mouldy! (what the hell do they put in that bread FFS!)

Quote by TallSexyLondon
Would definately go with the real ale but also of course this place!

er mate have you noticed this place in on the internet? You can get it anywhere in the world from an internet cafe biggrin

biggrin

Quote by fabio grooverider
you beat me to the organised queues thing.... noticed that from when i first came over here..

Fabio, have you been to London recently? :D
OK what I would miss from the UK is the bloody gorgeous London girls! No other capital city has as many drop dead gorgeous girls as London!
London girls rock! :D

18 Oct 2005

Quote by Silk and Big G
They help you to pass hard stools ?

:doh: and I thought it was Weetabix makes you strong! rotflmao

rotflmao

18 Oct 2005

Quote by mistress_sassy
Noy yours Sas ! I meant Awols

Thank god for that! Didn't think I looked that bad! lol

lol

oi! mine's not that bad?!!? I thought it was quite cute redface

redface

and you know what they say about weetabix...
biggrin

biggrin

18 Oct 2005

Quote by Silk and Big G
By the way is your avatar Mr Hankey the Christmas pooh on angel dust ?

well Vix reckons is a weetabix on speed! I thought it was a little devil sad

sad

18 Oct 2005

Quote by Sgt Bilko

I think I'm mad!

You are, but then again, so am I for indulging you!!! confused

confused

:? :? :? :?
Thank you Sargeant Sir! But I bet you had a smile biggrin

biggrin

18 Oct 2005

Hang on a minute!!! It seems the majority here are in the 2% That can't be right - it's meant to be 98% that wins it....
you can't all be weird - or can you? :shock:

18 Oct 2005

Quote by Sgt Bilko
Ski Sunday ????? :? :? :? :?
No!!!!! Is it a horsey theme ?? Is it the Show Jumpy thing that used to be on on a Sunday???? :shock: :shock: :? :? :? :?

Oh that could be it biggrin

biggrin

for a moment I thought it might be World of Sport but I'm not convinced - oh hell :D
I think I'm mad!

18 Oct 2005

Quote by mistress_sassy
:loon: :loon:
You feeeling ok hun?

I'm great, never better apart from the di dum di dum going on in my head :shock:
any ideas what it could be? maybe Grandstand?
biggrin

biggrin

18 Oct 2005

I've got a theme tune in my head from the television (sports related) and I can't think wtf it is...it goes...
di dum di dum di dum di dum di diddy di dum di daaaa...diddy di dum di daaa.... diddy di dum di daaa....di dum di dum di dum di dum di diddy di dum di daa....dum diddy diddy di dum diddy diddy di dum dum daaaa
it's driving me nuts... anyone? help... please?

18 Oct 2005

Quote by chocolateknob
does someone licking your arse hole count as sucking you off?

Guess not but it sure would feel niiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiice smile

smile

it bloody does biggrin

biggrin

18 Oct 2005

Hello Mr & Mrs PLC, I'd love to come too, could you please add me to the list?
Thank you
AWOL

17 Oct 2005

Quote by Serendipity
Oh gawd, that's going back some, about1989 I think! I distinctly recall dancing in front of some guy in a club to that to get his attention, all hips and pout....of course I imagined I looked irresistable but I must have looked ridiculous!

any woman wiggling her all hips and pouting just look totally irresistible to me smile

smile

(I'm easy)
wink

wink

17 Oct 2005

Dear Eager, just to make sure you got rid of the stubborn stains always circle the bastards in permanent pen, so that when you remove the garment from the washing machine you can easily locate the area of the stain and check that they've gone.
It never fails. smile

smile

17 Oct 2005

Quote by Angel Chat
You either can't add up or you don't know your alphabet then the sum is one of those that always ends up at 4, and the 4th letter of the alphabet is D.
I'm still in the 2% anyway though because I was in Dubai with an iguana eating an apple

You're absolutely right, the number will always be 4. The weird thing is how so many people (perhaps not 98% but still a great majority) think of Denmark for the country and kangaroo as the animal.
Maybe it's government conditioning, B-Liar and his cronies are brainwashing us somehow to all think alike and the 2% or more of you are the lucky ones sad

sad

Conspiracy theories anyone? smile

smile

16 Oct 2005

This is strange...can you figure it out?
Are you the 2% or 98% of the population?
Follow the instructions! NO PEEKING AHEAD please!
* Do the following exercise, guaranteed to raise an eyebrow.
* There's no trick or surprise.
* Just follow these instructions, and answer the questions one at a time and as quickly as you can!
â€¢ Now, scroll down (but not too fast, you might miss something.)
Think of a number from 1 to 10
Multiply that number by 9
If the number is a 2-digit number, add the digits together
Now subtract 5
Determine which letter in the alphabet corresponds to the number you ended up with
(example: 1=a, 2=b, 3=c,etc.)
Think of a country that starts with that letter.
Remember the last letter of the name of that country.
Think of the name of an animal that starts with that letter.
Remember the last letter in the name of that animal.
Think of the name of a fruit that starts with that letter.
Are you thinking of a Kangaroo in Denmark eating an Orange?
I told you this was FREAKY!! If not, you're among the 2% of the population whose minds are different enough to think of something else. 98% of people will answer with kangaroos in Denmark when given this exercise.
PS. For the search button brigade... I did search and didn't see it posted before ;)