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breezer
Over 90 days ago
Bisexual Male, 49
0 miles · Greater London
Forum
Sexpert
Quote by welsh one
Try these
COMEDY
"OH BUGGER,.... ive made the wrong decision havent i, fuck, fuck, fuck!"
"AND what do we do?......we end up looking like a monkey fucking a football out there"
HORROR
"smile you son of a bitch!"
"what do you want us to use..... harsh language!"
oh bugger- is that four weddings and a funeral? or notting hill?
and what do we do?..... is that mean machine?
smile you son of a bitch- deffo jaws
what you want us to use harsh language- i know it have heard it but will guess dusk till dawn
I knew it was Hugh Grant ("oh bugger....") but also wasn't sure. Actually - no - just been on the other day. It's 4 weddings. Not Notting Hill. As he's about to get married to the "wrong girl" and swearing in the chapel, the vicar comes out he excuses it as 'vocal exercises'...
Definitely heard the "smile you son-of-a-bitch" one and as I haven't seen nearly as many horror movies that narrowed it down. If you're sure its Jaws I'll defer, Hellraiser came to mind originally (see, told you I don't know my horror's so well).
Two more for you: "Yeah, you know you always be gettin' emotional after a gunfight" (should be easy)
"I feel like the maid.. I just cleaned up this mess. Can we keep it clean for .. for.. 10 minutes?"
If you're quoting this for god's sake remove the text above it.
Sexpert
Quote by piercerbabe
Oooooo La Senza!
I could buy the whole damn shop :P
I seem to have a penchant for hot pink or orange undies lately. But generally everyday stuff is usually colourful.
Sexy undies tend to be black, red or purple, usually lacey too
And then theres the corsets...
:twisted:
Mmm black red or purple. Great choice of colours. I love red, black goes particularly well with it (or just black only). Love fishnet stockings, anything with lace-up bits or just cross-lace. French knickers nice. Otherwise I'm not that fussy, if it looks sexy I'll enjoy looking/feeling and taking it off even if I'm lucky.
For me - thongs, sexy (not too lose) boxers like CKs, or tanga briefs. Oh and my penchant for fishnets, and pvc.
Sexpert
Quote by Red(RHG)
was interviewed a few days ago on TV (Work related).
Was wondering if anyone else has been on TV or been an extra etc?
In the 80's there was a film called 'Threads' made about Nuclear War. I was one of the children running round in the playground - red sort of matress coat on (ooh such style!)
Tsk I coulda been a star ....
Cathy x
I remember it being part of our English course back at GCSE/earlier in the early 90s. Am curious to see it again now.
Sexpert
My Sympathies also lie with anyone with friends or family in the area who hasn't heard from them or is involved themselves. I had a tense few minutes this morning too until I heard back from everyone, have a very good mate who missed it going right past/through one of the blast areas and just had an extended journey time and my dad works just round the corner from Liverpool St.
Texting can sometimes get through easier than trying to call by the way, doesn't need a connection/spare bandwidth on the phone network for as long. Remember people might have their phones off/have run out of battery though if they've already had lots of calls, so don't panic unduly if you don't get a reply for a while.
I'm starting a new job in the city in a week and a bit - makes me a little nervous, hope this is a one-off.
Texting can sometimes get through easier than trying to call by the way, doesn't need a connection/spare bandwidth on the phone network for as long. Remember people might have their phones off/have run out of battery though if they've already had lots of calls, so don't panic unduly if you don't get a reply for a while.
I'm starting a new job in the city in a week and a bit - makes me a little nervous, hope this is a one-off.
Sexpert
Ooh ooh ooh! (gets all excited...but not in that way) And... Austin Powers:
The International Pants of Mystery
The Pants Who Shagged Me
Goldpants
PS on a completely unrelated sidetrack but I just gotta know cos it's come on C4 again, before I forget: that "Oasis Live from Manchester" flyer (not a trailer really) advert, what is the background music? Can't be Oasis can it (scuse my ignorance)? I really like it...
How about a different theme (prize for anyone who guesses, well if you call a bit of fluff a prize):
Heaven's Pants
All Pants'd Up
The Cool Pants
Dead in the Pants
2 Days in the Pants
- I could also link in to the Bond theme above here...
And Porno's are a definite goldmine of humourous targets, thanks for bringing it up DaFunkyone..
Err actually, a lot of those titles (tittles an accidental typo there but works quite well!) are versions of a real one anyway so replacing the words could just be from an ordinary movie.
Saving Ryan's Pants
Where the Pants Aren't (1...7..10.. followups)
Dream Pants
Flashpants
Penetrator 2: Grudge Pants (I like this title better)
Seriously though - anyone still reading all the posts? Is this getting a little laboured? (are we talking maternity pants here
<groan> ?).
The International Pants of Mystery
The Pants Who Shagged Me
Goldpants
PS on a completely unrelated sidetrack but I just gotta know cos it's come on C4 again, before I forget: that "Oasis Live from Manchester" flyer (not a trailer really) advert, what is the background music? Can't be Oasis can it (scuse my ignorance)? I really like it...
How about a different theme (prize for anyone who guesses, well if you call a bit of fluff a prize):
Heaven's Pants
All Pants'd Up
The Cool Pants
Dead in the Pants
2 Days in the Pants
- I could also link in to the Bond theme above here...
And Porno's are a definite goldmine of humourous targets, thanks for bringing it up DaFunkyone..
Err actually, a lot of those titles (tittles an accidental typo there but works quite well!) are versions of a real one anyway so replacing the words could just be from an ordinary movie.
Saving Ryan's Pants
Where the Pants Aren't (1...7..10.. followups)
Dream Pants
Flashpants
Penetrator 2: Grudge Pants (I like this title better)
Seriously though - anyone still reading all the posts? Is this getting a little laboured? (are we talking maternity pants here
<groan> ?). Sexpert
Quote by Ice Pie
Hi new to all this and just wondered if the adds on the site are all gen, or is it full of a lot of picture collectors and time wasters? ta
To be honest, that's a bit of a daft question. If the site weren't genuine, you'd hardly expect anyone on the site to admit it, would you?
Bit like going to a car showroom and asking "Is it true you're a bunch of con artists and these cars are all ringers?"
:rotflmao: :rotflmao: (car showroom...) funniest thing I read all day.You'd get yerself kicked out pretty quick for that I suspect!
Sexpert
You mention the "vigorous" flirting. There is actually a point where it gets too obvious and overdone, and at that point it isn't sexy or attractive anymore - it's just desparate. To me anyway.
I remember having a conversation about flirting with a girl a few years ago and saying that the playing with the hair thing is sexy, and she started to do it way too much and too obviously. At which point it was an instant turn-off. Even with being a fully-signed-up fan of hair (on the head, before you twist my meaning ;) ).
Fluttering the eyelids is probably most prone to being overdone, cos it's more obvious and takes special effort whereas you can tend to do the other physical things without thinking about them or realising you are. It is quite entertaining watching a couple's body language and working out whether and how much they're into each other. Much easier to see from outside than as one of them.
I remember having a conversation about flirting with a girl a few years ago and saying that the playing with the hair thing is sexy, and she started to do it way too much and too obviously. At which point it was an instant turn-off. Even with being a fully-signed-up fan of hair (on the head, before you twist my meaning ;) ).
Fluttering the eyelids is probably most prone to being overdone, cos it's more obvious and takes special effort whereas you can tend to do the other physical things without thinking about them or realising you are. It is quite entertaining watching a couple's body language and working out whether and how much they're into each other. Much easier to see from outside than as one of them.
Sexpert
Quote by MikeNorth
There are so many general socialising groups on the internet now, formed in MSN, , or other sites, that it's no stigma just to say that you got to know each other over the internet. I have used this a number of times with friends I got to know through various specific types of groups(not just swinging), and if anyone asks more, I just say through general chat or groups - most people don't press to know more.
Mike.
Yep that's the one I use. Covers most things. Never been pressed further. That way you don't have to lie and create more lies later to cover up, if you get to know them well enough and feel able to tell them more of the truth there's no embarassment about what you told them in the first place and no trying to think quick.
Sexpert
Quote by sleazy
Th return of the pants ( 10 bonus points to anyone that can tell me which film i am referring too....... clue they all have patrick swayze in so no star wars or lotr please)
Ok I cheated (thanks ) - "Return of the Rebels" the one you're thinking of?
9 1/2 Pants
Four pants and a funeral
Wild Wild Pants
Pirates of the Pants (not already done? didn't notice it)
Bend it like Pants
Can't Pants Wait
The Pants next door
Charlie's Pants
Iron Pants
Men in Pants, Men in Pants 2 (reminds me of Robin Hood: Men in Tights but not worth changing that one!)
Maid in Pants (or maybe Pants in Manhattan is better?)
Pants of the Dead
Pants Twelve (we've had Ocean's Eleven done).
Ok enough of those already. Tonnes of classic quotes still to do I suspect but my memory can't hand any to me at the moment.
Sexpert
Flirting is sooooo much fun.. Wasn't all that long ago I was writing in another thread about it, but I'd have to say I tend to use various levels of innuendo and looks with the eye, the cheeky daring-you-to-reply and raise the level one and starting from quite innocent chat that someone with a dirty mind would have to make an effort with, to blatant he-could-only-be-implying-sexual-stuff lines (but still with a hint of innocence).. It's fun going more and more sexual but still pretending like you're completely innocent most of the time (or if asked) while obviously meaning more. I'm smiling and getting a little flushed even writing about doing it... 
Flirting, I mean... (of course... yeah yeah...)
Flirting, I mean... (of course... yeah yeah...) Sexpert
Quote by vodka_babe22uk
dont know
but i know someone who is tho
wonders if yorkshire b j's are the same as southern b j's
Maybe they're bigger and you get more for your money (shot)?
No evidence of Northern ones so I can't do any real analysis. Anyone from up north for a bit of scientific experimentation??
Sexpert
Lightning Seeds - not so long after 3 Lions came out, my leaver's ball at uni we all went down to the beach from Kent uni to M... Mar... what's the place name? anyway.. The organisation of the travel was a disaster, way too few coaches and they ended up booking quite a few cabs to get people there before the band came on and making a massive loss from what I hear (just glad I was on an earlier coach), but the atmosphere and the band were great and of course finishing with 3 Lions absolutely everyone was with them, hands in the air. Awesome.
Madonna Earl's Court 2001(I think, or was it 2000) was great, just wish I'd seen some of her earlier ones in the 80s/90s. Wow what a show. Seeing her on Live8 earlier again just reconfirms she's still got it and knows how to entertain. Big fan. And those guys spinning on just one hand... How!? Got the hifi and TV up high (sorry neighbours, and probably over the road too...).
Madonna Earl's Court 2001(I think, or was it 2000) was great, just wish I'd seen some of her earlier ones in the 80s/90s. Wow what a show. Seeing her on Live8 earlier again just reconfirms she's still got it and knows how to entertain. Big fan. And those guys spinning on just one hand... How!? Got the hifi and TV up high (sorry neighbours, and probably over the road too...).
Sexpert
Quote by essex_young_gun
anyway i saw war of the worlds yesterday, what an amazing film!
i wont say what happens but its amazing, i heard there was an original and this is a remake, what a wicked remake it is, i was watching the film thinking how the hell did they make it, the special effects are wicked!
anyone else seen it?
I take it you're not into movies then. Have you heard about the panic it caused when the book was broadcast at the same time as the news back in the 50s(?? not sure ), people turned on their sets expecting to hear the news and instead had someone telling them aliens were invading (as part of the story). Personally I ain't that bothered about the new one, Tom Cruise, yada yada. Still haven't seen Pitt/Jolie in Mr. & Mrs. Smith, nothing deep or moving from what I hear but a fun film, definitely up for that (and of course Angelina's gorgeous)
Sexpert
Quote by Various people
1. Put them on msn block
2. Ignore all phone calls, pm's and text messages untill they go away
3. Arrive at pre-arranged meet with someone else.
4. Dump them at a munch
5. Give up swinging.
6. Move country
7. Fake your own death.
8. Let everyone else tell them!
9. Post a thread on the Forum saying "so and so is DUMPED!"
10. Super-glue his penis to his thigh?
11. Handcuff him to the bed, invite the whole of SH around to your house and let him listen to the massive gang-bang going on downstairs with you making the most noise?
12. Stick superglue on the seat
13. Cut the chains at the highest point (huh?)
14. Go on a merry-go-round (eh? a figure-of-speech? you mean shag everyone else?)
15: Send him a wreath with "The swinger is dead" on it?
And combinations of...
16. Posting on here should do the trick.
17. Sing to them: "just drop off a quay, Lee" / "make a new plan, Stan.."
18. Tell them u have found a better shag
19. Put yours and some random female's name down for a munch already booked by you and (ex) swing partner.
20. Have some feminine items of underware scattered on bedroom floor
21. Whilst fucking her doggy style ..hard..call out another womans name ( bucking bronko )
22. Give her a one way plane ticket and offer to drop her off at airport
23. Tell the person upfront before moving on (the respectable way)
24. Tell him you've gone vanilla
25. Tell her your insurance doesn't cover her anymore and you're trading her in for a younger model
26. Get someone else to do it
27. Put a single guy ad in the Men Looking For Women section, complete with cock pic, and tell her it is just so that 'people know what I look like'.
Jeez... We're rather good at ideas for this aren't we. How depressing. Let's hope we're capable of thinking of as many ideas for getting into relationships! (er... I have seen chat-up line lists, oh dear!)
Having said that, I'm getting inventive now:
28. Hire a skywriter to write "you're dumped <name>" and take them on a walk in the area.
29. Give them "relate"'s/other break-up counselling service's phone number and tell them to make an appointment for one.
30. Write out an expired warranty for yourself as their partner and give it to them, saying you need to be taken back to the shop for replacement.
31. Hire an advert agency to do one in the ad-break in her favourite show to tell her she's dumped.
32. Write her a letter to explain (especially if she lives with you). Or send an email.
33. Get some flowers sent to yourself when you're with them, from your new partner/a random name you just made up "With love and kisses".
34. Offer to drive them back to singleville (similarities with 22).
35. If it's going to be a few months away, plant some flowering plants in a pattern to spell "you're dumped" or appropriate in their garden, then when they flower, hey presto!
None of which I've ever done or would intend to do (apart from the respectable no. 23)
Sexpert
As an aside to earlier (although it's kinda been hijacked way out of topic now): snake's been around for decades, think it goes back to the 70s or at least early 80s. Still fun though. Not sure if it was originally an arcade game or born into personal computers/games machines.
Sexpert
Quote by polly40
Can't resist
Winding people up :twisted:
sex
a nice tight sexy arse on a man
xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx
All of which can be managed here at SH! You're at the right place
(one quite tight and sexy arse here by the way :) )
My temptations?
Sex shops (like a sweetie shop for adults), just have to browse
Fishnet stockings/hold-ups, oh and PVC
Posh ice-cream (although allergy to cow's milk keeps that to an occasional thing unfortunately)
Chocolate, if I'm in the mood - quite like dark choc too
Sex, of course
Making a pun or innuendo (although I do try to avoid doing it too much.. well ok sometimes I try)
Sexpert
MISSCHIEF - Not heard anything so funny for a while...
Mine: maddest moment of last couple of years has been one of those lets-walk-back-from-the-club decisions very late at night after a few too many when you just spent the cab fare on your last drink and home is ~4hrs walk away drunk (maybe 1-2 sober...).
But most embarassing... Back at uni (of Kent, Canterbury), in the first year, I lived on a corridor with about 5 other freshers. One evening out on the town with other friends, having visited our usual pub and had a few rounds between us, I walked back to uni and found some uni friends in the bar. I'd already had plenty enough to drink, and I remember sitting down in the bar and (I think) having another drink or two and that I chatted for a bit there, probably pretty incoherently.
After that I retired at kicking-out-time to my room, and then decided I needed to empty my bladder. Unfortunately I never made it back to my room, I fell asleep in the corridor with my room door wide open and managed to throw up in the corridor. I don't remember any of this. Next morning I woke up and felt terrible, and then my friends found it and I got a right ribbing. The cleaners were due, but I think it was probably the day after... I really didn't feel like clearing it up and besides didn't have much to clean it with, so it got left all dried out for the cleaners to sort out - I made sure I was out (even though no lectures and I'd normally be having a lie-in) to avoid the embarassment. Strange how I didn't see many people in the corridor that day
Then there's the time we went out for drinks as my first social evening with a company I'd just joined post university - we had some wine between us and I'd thought someone else was drinking white too but it turned out at the end of the evening that no, it was just me that had got through those empty bottles on the table (everyone else was drinking red / beer / non-alcoholic). Followed by a few pints in a pub and just-managing to leave my dinner down the toilet instead of all down my top.
I'm far more sensible now
Not heard anything so funny for a while...Mine: maddest moment of last couple of years has been one of those lets-walk-back-from-the-club decisions very late at night after a few too many when you just spent the cab fare on your last drink and home is ~4hrs walk away drunk (maybe 1-2 sober...).
But most embarassing... Back at uni (of Kent, Canterbury), in the first year, I lived on a corridor with about 5 other freshers. One evening out on the town with other friends, having visited our usual pub and had a few rounds between us, I walked back to uni and found some uni friends in the bar. I'd already had plenty enough to drink, and I remember sitting down in the bar and (I think) having another drink or two and that I chatted for a bit there, probably pretty incoherently.
After that I retired at kicking-out-time to my room, and then decided I needed to empty my bladder. Unfortunately I never made it back to my room, I fell asleep in the corridor with my room door wide open and managed to throw up in the corridor. I don't remember any of this. Next morning I woke up and felt terrible, and then my friends found it and I got a right ribbing. The cleaners were due, but I think it was probably the day after... I really didn't feel like clearing it up and besides didn't have much to clean it with, so it got left all dried out for the cleaners to sort out - I made sure I was out (even though no lectures and I'd normally be having a lie-in) to avoid the embarassment. Strange how I didn't see many people in the corridor that day
Then there's the time we went out for drinks as my first social evening with a company I'd just joined post university - we had some wine between us and I'd thought someone else was drinking white too but it turned out at the end of the evening that no, it was just me that had got through those empty bottles on the table (everyone else was drinking red / beer / non-alcoholic). Followed by a few pints in a pub and just-managing to leave my dinner down the toilet instead of all down my top.
I'm far more sensible now
Sexpert
Quote by MikeNorth
Digital photography? Data protection? No, I'm afraid it's not penetrating.
Penetrating twice as much? Or twice as penetrating?
No silly, it's Desktop Publishing. That's what I knew it as previously .. (oh.. er... maybe that was DTP..)
I know! I know! (sticks hand up) Please miss!
Done Previously! (referring to the thread rather than the action)
Sexpert
Would have to say I don't feel all that much if anyone plays with them. Sure I can feel it, and it's kind of enjoyable, but it doesn't really turn me on. I prefer having my chest stroked (well, the few hairs there) or rubbed.
An ex had (well, still has I suspect but you know what I mean) extremely sensitive nipples and I had to be really careful that I didn't cause pain by doing the wrong thing or exerting too much pressure on them. But then other ladies have been the other way and need a good bite, lick or suck, so I don't think you can generalise between the sexes very much.
I do suggest taking it easy until you know though 'cos it'd be way worse to overdo it on someone who wanted you to go easy than to slowly ramp it up on someone's who needed more exubriance (thesaurus needed there me thinks).
Need more people to practice on
(hmmm I wonder if I can guess who's going to reply to this shortly...
An ex had (well, still has I suspect but you know what I mean) extremely sensitive nipples and I had to be really careful that I didn't cause pain by doing the wrong thing or exerting too much pressure on them. But then other ladies have been the other way and need a good bite, lick or suck, so I don't think you can generalise between the sexes very much.
I do suggest taking it easy until you know though 'cos it'd be way worse to overdo it on someone who wanted you to go easy than to slowly ramp it up on someone's who needed more exubriance (thesaurus needed there me thinks).
Need more people to practice on
(hmmm I wonder if I can guess who's going to reply to this shortly... Sexpert
This was only just recently covered - check out the thread Tell us your Fetish.
Sexpert
Hey I already got most of me in my ads, except a cock pic. Anyone really wanting one of those has to ask and be prepared to tell me more about themselves and hopefully show a decent pic of themselves in return. (although to be honest I might just be a slut enough to send one anyway)
Sexpert
You may all have your tents (and trouser tents ) but I'm a campanologist. Obviously the expert in these things...
(er... NOT).
Don't even own a bloody tent. I can ring a bell for you very well though! Or pull your ropes. How about I bring one along so you know when it's dinner time? :D (or not...)
(just in a silly mood at the moment)
) but I'm a campanologist. Obviously the expert in these things...(er... NOT).
Don't even own a bloody tent. I can ring a bell for you very well though! Or pull your ropes. How about I bring one along so you know when it's dinner time?
:D (or not...)(just in a silly mood at the moment)
Sexpert
Quote by Sexysteph
Hiya straightup
this site is about fun - it may just mean thinking a bit more about what you write. people will be more amenable to help if you don't go at it like a bull in a china shop.
Good Luck
Steph
Or...er... not going at it like a bull in a china shop.. like he will be the way he's aiming at the moment... Could be painful doing it that roughly anyway
Sexpert
Done swimming pol (on hols) and that's what I was going to suggest - my best and fave, although just doing it outside in the woods is pretty sexy too as long as you have some privacy (well, or noone around). Maybe that answer's one you picked up from my post to that other thread anyway. The water's nice to mess around in anyway even before or after. Just don't go banging your knees or anything on the side of the pool (up against the side is pretty good, in the middle just means you've got to balance better and it's more obvious).
Sexpert
Mine was easy: I just used the online nick I've had since uni (that I picked). When I got my first job after there was someone else with the same name who'd claimed it first so I suggested my online nick and from that point on I was known as breezer to my workmates, and my real name by the guy with the same name (well, pronounced the same) who also turned out to be one of my best mates and still is.
I have used "fast and sexy" or variations on other sites, suggested by someone I met on a dating site due to my fondness for nice cars (referring to the "..& furious" movies although I'd never own anything that over-the-top and appearance-modified), my fast talking and fast typing (being a computer techy) and I almost chose it instead when joining here. Sometimes I chuck my initials in front of it if just "breezer" is already taken as a username but somewhere like this I'd prefer not to include my initials. So I'm glad breezer was free.
I have used "fast and sexy" or variations on other sites, suggested by someone I met on a dating site due to my fondness for nice cars (referring to the "..& furious" movies although I'd never own anything that over-the-top and appearance-modified), my fast talking and fast typing (being a computer techy) and I almost chose it instead when joining here. Sometimes I chuck my initials in front of it if just "breezer" is already taken as a username but somewhere like this I'd prefer not to include my initials. So I'm glad breezer was free.
