Damn double post, messed me quotes up
Nope sorry Angel it ain't Arti. I've checked me passport and been to have a look in the bathroom cabinet mirror (not an easy one that as we don't have a bathroom cabinet, but a quick trip to homebase to look in one of theirs cracked that little problem] and I can confirm I am who I thought I was
I've tried to post over the last few years, but the authorities won't allow computers in the cells, so it's been a few years. 6 years I think, 6 years for a bit of poaching, I ask ya, bit strong if you ask me, but I'm guessing that having previous form for the same offence, didn't help, as I've been caught before taking the odd rabbit or two, but it's only ever attracted a community service order and a few quid in compo for the land owner, this time they hit me hard, .
I've no complaints though, blame myself really, stayed in the area way too long, I'm normally in and out real quick, shoot it, cut a slit in a hind leg with my pen knife, force the foot of the other leg through the slit to make a handy loop then thread them onto me poaching stick and away, all done in less than a minute, but this time it took me hours and hours, especially the cutting and threading of the legs. ..
Still lessons learned, my pen knife and poachers stick aint necessarily the best tools for the job, and in Kenya, they are more passionate about their elephants than we are about our rabbits.
Quote by neilinleeds
A noble sentiment Dave. The thought that my pain might be someone else's gain would bring me some small crumb ((( no pun intended! ))) of comfort and of course we should take every advantage of the opportunities life throws in our path in these financially challenging times we live in. Unfortunately, I can see the odd teensy weensy little flaw in Jas' plan.
I wouldn't claim to be some sort of expert on the whole religiously themed foodstuffs industry, so I might be speaking out of turn, but assuming we could get my facial residues past the Food Standards Agency in the first place I'm just not sure that Crucified Cod is really gonna fly?
N x x x ;)
Quote by Jas-Tim
THe pair of you need to get in touch with Captain Birds Eye - You can supply the whole product and everyone's a winner.
If you could train the goldfish to hold their fins out at a reasonable angle warwick you could even pinch the substance of Dave and Dino's idea and have religious breaded goldfish. Just need a catchy name to market them and I'm sure someonewould have some ideas.
Quote by Laff_n_Chilli
Following our recent holiday to Turkey we would like to take the opportunity to thoroughly recommend the toilet system in operation there (although we do understand that this system is operated in several countries across the world but for some strange reason not here in the UK)
The toilet looks like a standard toilet but contains (slightly hidden under the seat) a small nozzle. By operating a suitable tap/lever you can control a jet of soothing/stimulating & above all cleansing water that - once it has been properly set up - rinses your little anus perfectly.
We would imagine that in combination with the cheek parting seat it would provide such a level of cleanliness and comfortable stimulation that one might be tempted to simply stay in the sitting position for some time.
It certainly helped us out/in/up & down.
Quote by foxylady2209
Slight hijack - this thread reminded me of an incident years ago.
Public toilet, didn't inspect the seat too closely, sat, etc etc, went to stand up and found that a small crack in the seat had opened as I sat and closed as I stood up, providing me with many tens of minutes of agony and a blood-blister in a very personal place.
Moral of the story - inspect public loo seats before use.
Quote by tweeky
Perhaps the trick next year is to change the types of birds used?
Sparklers: Sparrows, nice and light.
Rockets: Seagulls, ample sized and sure to make enough noise.
Shooting stars: A flock of swifts, they generate the speed and dispersion needed.
Cathrine wheels: Ducks, fits in with their personality as they always seem to walk round and round being pointless and nobody really cares about them.
Quote by tweeky
Awww quick thought! Feed pigeons chips filled with bicarbonate of soda and luminous paint. Walah! cheap fireworks :haha:
Quote by foxylady2209
For sitting on a bike?
Quote by Dino
If i could do sign language, and if i could understand it, we could get one o them people in the bottom corner of the screen to wave there arms n fingers about and we wouldnt even have to whisper :gagged:
Quote by Dino
Pssssst, i did put a little notey thing at the bottom of the post
footnote;i know flower411 is a chap but "maiden" sounds so much better in a magical tale
And Pssst why are we all whispering ???
Quote by flower411
The voices told me to start the thread ......I distinctly remember ...
"Start the thread and they will come"
I never knew what they bloody meant now, did I !!!
Quote by Dino
I shall sell it as a70s iconic fruit product that can, at the twist and pull of the wrist be turned into a popular and tastey energy providing treat !
Quote by Dino
Bloody hell...ive just helped myself to a banana from the fruit bowl and bugger me if it isnt .....
Mungo Jerry`s drummer :shock: as clear as owt !
Quote by HornyRed
in a manner reminiscent to what dino calls "the good ole days" like youve never been away !![]()
Have you both been practicing in secret behind my back?? cos this is just too wierd
Quote by Sarah
No such elaborate scarlet pimperneling here im afraid, i got sent here to do 200 hours community service ! :neutral:
Quote by tweeky
Come on own up now! Whos been down the SH graveyard with their bucket and spade again?
Welcome back all who have resurfaced