Sounds like you have come to a good arrangement and obviously want to keep it that way for the kids sake. You both presumably have the same dilemma and need to get out and about talking to people. You want to be able to do it with decorum and without rubbing each others' faces in it.
There's so many options but I wonder, is discussing it with her an possibility? It would give you the comfort of a friendship support zone which would be nice. I know one divorced couple that go speeddating together! Swinging is a bigger deal for most folk, but if you stuck to clubs you would not have the awkwardness of maybe not wanting to bring partners home. Maybe she might like the idea too if you approached it carefully.
There's a time an a place to raise the question of new partners with old ones, whether they are swinging partners or not. Thinking about how much information they want, presenting new partners in a way that is respectful to your old partner (in this case your wife). Ideally you want to cement a new friendship (ie your wife). Thinking about how you would like that info presented to you may help. Much care hopefully will pay off.
The other problem some folk have coming out of a divorce or long term relationship is actually talking to new people. You have to get back into the swing of flirting, chatting, not being too needy etc. I don't think swinging is an answer to any problem, but once you feel you have sorted out any problem areas you might want to weigh up whether it's a lifestyle you want to try (you may find it is very different to any preconceived ideas - most people do I think).
Best wishes, whatever you decide
Chris
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edinbughchris
Over 90 days ago
Straight Male, 62
Forum
Let's face it, most of the time any talking during sex is a very unnecessary distraction, unless it's to communicate essentials like 'could you pass that please?' Dirty talk is a whole area in itself, sometimes wanted sometimes not.
But what's the sexiest thing - in terms of turning you on, that anyone has ever said to you during sex?
Starting the ball rolling, I remember a fantastic girl who eyeballed me close range, missionary position, and said "You are beautiful". For some reason it was bloody mindblowing.
:bounce:
(I'm sure the thread will soon dissolve into, What's the funniest thing anyone has ever said to you during sex?so answers to that one too might be fun . . .)
But what's the sexiest thing - in terms of turning you on, that anyone has ever said to you during sex?
Starting the ball rolling, I remember a fantastic girl who eyeballed me close range, missionary position, and said "You are beautiful". For some reason it was bloody mindblowing.
:bounce:
(I'm sure the thread will soon dissolve into, What's the funniest thing anyone has ever said to you during sex?so answers to that one too might be fun . . .)
Another union of outdated religion and commercialism IMHO.
Ok if you are in the honeymoon flush of a new relationship and have excess cash to spend and are short on creative ideas without being prompted.
A danger otherwise is that
you buy a card / they don't
they buy a card /you don't (or forget or think it's understood you're not exchanging cards)
you buy a card and a pressie / they buy a card but not a pressie
they buy a card and a pressie / you just buy a card or make one at the last minute on the computer
you buy a card and they finally admit they are married
you buy a card and they hate it
they *say* they are not getting a pressie then get you one anyway, find you haven't, and feel unloved
you get a card but they get a better card from someone else
you thank them for the wrong card (or for any card when they haven't sent one)
you keep a spare card and pressie in the drawer just in case they get you one, but they hide yours before leaving for their working trip abroad so you'll find it when it's too late to give them one
So many roads to disaster. Main beneficiary is the geeky card manufacturer.
This year I got
1) one very nice, witty, well-chosen card that made me laugh
2) one geeky cheesy needy fluffy vomit-inducing card
3) one pair of pink panther boxer shorts (for what?? to mop up the vomit?)
No, I'm not in a relationship. One sender (1) was a friend I've had a fling with a couple of times and she got an equally nice to be nice card from me (though it was from the 2-for-a-£1 shop). The second sender (2,3) knew my tastes but even though I'd hinted no valentine cards and def no gifts sent me stuff I'd rather she had kept. A bottle of wine or even a bunch of dildos would have been more appreciated.
(End of moan)
Yes, I can be very romantic. But I don't like doing it at the behest of a nationally agreed calendar date.
Ok if you are in the honeymoon flush of a new relationship and have excess cash to spend and are short on creative ideas without being prompted.
A danger otherwise is that
you buy a card / they don't
they buy a card /you don't (or forget or think it's understood you're not exchanging cards)
you buy a card and a pressie / they buy a card but not a pressie
they buy a card and a pressie / you just buy a card or make one at the last minute on the computer
you buy a card and they finally admit they are married
you buy a card and they hate it
they *say* they are not getting a pressie then get you one anyway, find you haven't, and feel unloved
you get a card but they get a better card from someone else
you thank them for the wrong card (or for any card when they haven't sent one)
you keep a spare card and pressie in the drawer just in case they get you one, but they hide yours before leaving for their working trip abroad so you'll find it when it's too late to give them one
So many roads to disaster. Main beneficiary is the geeky card manufacturer.
This year I got
1) one very nice, witty, well-chosen card that made me laugh
2) one geeky cheesy needy fluffy vomit-inducing card
3) one pair of pink panther boxer shorts (for what?? to mop up the vomit?)
No, I'm not in a relationship. One sender (1) was a friend I've had a fling with a couple of times and she got an equally nice to be nice card from me (though it was from the 2-for-a-£1 shop). The second sender (2,3) knew my tastes but even though I'd hinted no valentine cards and def no gifts sent me stuff I'd rather she had kept. A bottle of wine or even a bunch of dildos would have been more appreciated.
(End of moan)
Yes, I can be very romantic. But I don't like doing it at the behest of a nationally agreed calendar date.
Quote by duncanlondon
Well into her thrities she was still a virgin, and occupied with charities and churches etc. Following a party she invited me to stay. So I did, and we had sex. But it was a struggle to enjoy myself.
Which goes to show the old saying, "If you want a good game of golf, don't play witha beginner."
:P I'm sure there's folks on here who are far more techy than I am, but for what it's worth - three things needed - antivirus to stop (primarily) viruses, firewall to stop intrusions, antispyware to stop spyware. Your need may be related to the type and amount of surfing you do and whether you have broadband or always on connection, and also if use use highly targetted software or very buggy software.
What I did (at a point where all three were becoming overwhelming) was search for comparative reviews from the PC mags and on the Net, and take opinions from peeps who installed/used/managed a lot of systems.
I use AVG, Zone Alarm, and SpySweeper. I do scans with other AVs every so often and keep all of them regularly updated.
What I did (at a point where all three were becoming overwhelming) was search for comparative reviews from the PC mags and on the Net, and take opinions from peeps who installed/used/managed a lot of systems.
I use AVG, Zone Alarm, and SpySweeper. I do scans with other AVs every so often and keep all of them regularly updated.
Quote by foxylady 123
Because it would only be sex and as long as the sexual chemistry was right, why not?I dont need to like the person.
I can can empathise with this to an extent. I am like that with dancing. I don't need to know someone to enjoy moving with them on the salsa or jive dance floor, I don't need to like the person they are off the dance floor, only the person they are on the dance floor. If there is sufficient rapport there, they have reasonable etiquette, and can dance, that's what I need. And by the same chalk, I don't like to dance with all the people I like.
Take a club situation. People mostly have their clothes off already. I look for things like, are they gentle? are they considerate? do I trust them? do they respect the spirit of the club rules? Is there enough chemistry (based on goodness knows what - physical stuff, attitude, the way they flirt maybe, the way they move)? How keen are they?
Their politics and attitudes outside the club are of little interest unless we socialise outside. If some overriding factor comes up that made me think that person was totally immoral that would influence me, but generally it doesn't.
Of course, a lotof the time, even in a club, you get to know a bit more about someone first. If it was a private meet, I'd want to know quite a lot more I think - and like the person . . .
Quote by lpljanssen
Hi we are thinking of going to partners on thurs night and as its our first time we would like to know what to you are going tomorrow also say do we need to bring drink etc...
Seem to remember you can buy very cheap wine by the glass but most folk take their own. You'll probably find there's far too many places to explore to want to spend much time in the bar though - it's quite fab!
Quote by okgent
just got this underlying terrible nagging feeling that there is just a few women and couples on the hunt 4 fun and like three million married guys chasing em....!
Nah mate - it's all guys on here - occasionally we pretend to be girls so we can flog you some porn or a used copy of the swinging guide to saunas - you wouldn't want to know us really
I've never seen anyone describe themselves as 'hard core swingers' only as 'not hard core swingers'.
I guess it's maybe one of those obscure terms meaning 'swinging whilst enjoying hard core dance music'?
Personally I'm quite happy with hardcore, though prefer trance and garage.
I do find the volume a little intense though - hard to say 'have you got any condoms?' over DJ Tiesto at full blast . . . And do all hardcore swingers wave their hands in the air together in time? Or is that a secret signal to say ladies choice?
I guess it's maybe one of those obscure terms meaning 'swinging whilst enjoying hard core dance music'?
Personally I'm quite happy with hardcore, though prefer trance and garage.
I do find the volume a little intense though - hard to say 'have you got any condoms?' over DJ Tiesto at full blast . . . And do all hardcore swingers wave their hands in the air together in time? Or is that a secret signal to say ladies choice?
Yep - would agree, rainbows. Most bi peeps I know or have known (male and female) only admit to being bi to very close friends or if the situation demands it!
It's easy to say, well that's the insecurity of the individual, but there's not the same generally recognised support network that there is for hetero or gay peeps. If you're going to be constantly attacked for your ambience (sexual, religious, vegan, whatever) then you may choose to keep quiet about it. You don;t owe 'the truth' to folk who throw sticks and stones - it's none of their business.
(Personally I don't think it's any of my business what someone else's sexual preferences are unless a) they want to tell me or b) one or both of us is thinking about shagging)
It's easy to say, well that's the insecurity of the individual, but there's not the same generally recognised support network that there is for hetero or gay peeps. If you're going to be constantly attacked for your ambience (sexual, religious, vegan, whatever) then you may choose to keep quiet about it. You don;t owe 'the truth' to folk who throw sticks and stones - it's none of their business.
(Personally I don't think it's any of my business what someone else's sexual preferences are unless a) they want to tell me or b) one or both of us is thinking about shagging)
Quote by sheffieldfun4two
We recently were staying away for a couple of days and M suggested we pick up a guy in a bar to take back to our hotel room..........slightly different situation to the arranging to meet on the net!
She spotted the perfect guy, and I had to admire her nerve, when she made her move to chat him up! he took to her immediately and we had a few drinks with him. When I went to the bar, he really flirted with her and made it obvious he fancied her!
Towards the end of the evening, she suggested to the starnger that he came back with us for a threesome! His face was a picture. He looked at me and I encouraged him and he soon agreed! It was all very horny, a total starnger and M had pulled him in front of me!
We all made a move and started the two minute walk back to the hotel, when suddenly the poor chap bottled it! He backed out and said he'd better go!
You would think it would be easy wouldn't you? I tried to find a second guy for a lady I was seeing one night and not only got nowhere but got some pretty dodgy looks!
On the other hand, I did get roped in once. The lady flirted heavily with me in the bar near closing time and got me to agree to go back with her before mentioning her husband was with her - quickly reassuring me that he 'didn't mind'.
They were both doctors and had that air of errr . . . total respectability ;-)
Wow! This is a remarkably interesting thread with so many aspects to it. Bearing in mind
before posting I thought, 'What can be gained by adding to the debate' (One person's 'truth' being another person's waffle. . .)?
So at the risk of waffling, I think it's good to debate it if it adds to a spirit of understanding, tolerance, openness - the general values most peeps here hold in common - or also if it's fun (and not hurting peeps in the process).
Definitions of swinging
1) Swinging in swinger clubs
2) Swinging at private parties
3) Swinging at private meets
4) Swinging as a lifestyle philosophy
5) Swinging as promiscuous sex or free love (I only include this definition as it's one the newspapers and many of their readers would lap up, not one I subscribe to.)
1) Swinging in swinger clubs is an activity defined by where you are. That's what you do - if you have sex in a club where it's called that. Everyone knows the rules, whether you know the people well, whether there's committed relationships, whether you're a couple or a single, swinging is the club activity. I personally think (because of my personal experience, not because holding a different view is less or more valid) that this is the most straightforward form of swinging, that other styles involve optional extras like friendship and emotional commitment.
2) Peeps on here have opened my eyes as to the potential of private parties. You can have a distinctly different experience and arrange scenarios with a group of peeps at a party with degree of sophistication and extended trust that you could not arrange at a club. I think it's a different style, and excellent in its own way. The safeguards are through knowing people better rather than the more official rules of a club situation.
3) Private meets are a softer option, they have more emotional similarities to traditional ways of meeting and having sex with peeps. There's lots of different variations, some would call some swinging and some wouldn't.
4) The attitude of mind is central to all of them except the fifth one (because the fifth one describes a fantasy rather than a reality).
Yep!
5)This has to be included simply because it is a commonly understood sense of the word, however falsely applied. It maybe stems from the 'Swinging Sixties'.
When I think about my own attitude (I would say I 'dip in and out of swinging'): I might have not been involved in swinging for, say, a couple of years - but people who don't know what swinging is about would still probably class me as a 'swinger' in view of my past history. Truth is in the ears of the beholder (A pertinent thought when you are thinking of 'fessing up to your orthodox pals?)
Eek! Sorry for the length of the post! Some silliness before continuing
:violin: :swingingchair: 
:bounce: but that's a different thread 
Casual sex
I confess to having an issue about the labels that some maybe share. 'Casual sex' is a phrase that was once used freely without any moral overtones. Nowadays it carries shades of disapproval - and also ignorance I think. Non-swinger friends whose main experience has been monogamous as far as they can remember, can think of the singles lifestyle in lurid terms because they have no knowledge of it. Some of my sexual relationships have not been long term ones, but I can think of very few I would describe as 'casual'. Whether I've known someone a long time or just met them, I am fairly methodical and think carefully before having sex with them. 'Casual sex' also often implies unconsidered sex, or sex without condoms - not something I do.
In a swingers club, the whole process will often happen quite quickly, but I still wouldn't say it was 'casual'. In non-swinging terms, if I have a 'fling' then my philosophy is still similar to the (SH) philosophy - I might be selfish but am decent, open, good value selfish, as usually are my partners. I care about the people I have sex with - they help me grow as a human being, and some of the swingers I have met (sometimes just for a few hours in a club) have been among the most caring peeps I have ever met.
Finally, Calista's quote was so cool I want to mention it again -
I'd say I am quite new to polyamory, and have been 'introduced' over the last few months by a wonderful couple both of whom I care about deeply. Previously I had just thought it was a dangerous area but, managed skilfully, it's an enriching emotional experience for which I'm thankful! In a different way, private parties and much SH intercourse (if you'll excuse the pun) involves some emotional intimacy even if not to the extent of polyamory.
Rainbows echoed my thoughts on this
though I do enjoy other forms of sex and swinging too.
Thank you to everyone contributing to this thread for expanding the ideas and the ways we have for discussing them.
Be true to yourself and one another (as Springer might say lol) - the definitions are icing on the cake.
xx Chris
* note to Corriefem - good luck with the salsa tonight!! :-)
Quote by PoloLady
At the end of the day - does it really fucking matter?
before posting I thought, 'What can be gained by adding to the debate' (One person's 'truth' being another person's waffle. . .)?
So at the risk of waffling, I think it's good to debate it if it adds to a spirit of understanding, tolerance, openness - the general values most peeps here hold in common - or also if it's fun (and not hurting peeps in the process).
Definitions of swinging
1) Swinging in swinger clubs
2) Swinging at private parties
3) Swinging at private meets
4) Swinging as a lifestyle philosophy
5) Swinging as promiscuous sex or free love (I only include this definition as it's one the newspapers and many of their readers would lap up, not one I subscribe to.)
1) Swinging in swinger clubs is an activity defined by where you are. That's what you do - if you have sex in a club where it's called that. Everyone knows the rules, whether you know the people well, whether there's committed relationships, whether you're a couple or a single, swinging is the club activity. I personally think (because of my personal experience, not because holding a different view is less or more valid) that this is the most straightforward form of swinging, that other styles involve optional extras like friendship and emotional commitment.
2) Peeps on here have opened my eyes as to the potential of private parties. You can have a distinctly different experience and arrange scenarios with a group of peeps at a party with degree of sophistication and extended trust that you could not arrange at a club. I think it's a different style, and excellent in its own way. The safeguards are through knowing people better rather than the more official rules of a club situation.
3) Private meets are a softer option, they have more emotional similarities to traditional ways of meeting and having sex with peeps. There's lots of different variations, some would call some swinging and some wouldn't.
4) The attitude of mind is central to all of them except the fifth one (because the fifth one describes a fantasy rather than a reality).
(SH Terminology) Swinging isn't simply 'Wife Swapping', nor is it quite as simple as 'Recreational sex between consenting adults' - even though we prefer the latter definition. No, it's more a state of mind. It's about being honest, open-minded, and expressing yourself freely. It's about enjoying sex with other people while not endangering pre-existing relationships. It's about enjoying sexually liberated fun no matter whether you're a single person or a couple or a triple or...This is not only an excellent (if imperfect) definition, it also includes peeps (and I'd include myself) who see swinging as a more evolved lifestyle, however defined - and one that more people would choose if they understood it. In this sense, a swinger is a state of being, like a religion or something essential to you. (By analogy, I think of myself as a dancer, even if I haven't been dancing for two weeks - I believe passionately in dance!*) Or as Blue said,
Quote by bluexxx
I am a swinger. Whether I swing with my committed partner, with a partner I choose for the evening, or if I go out on my own and fuck some stranger in the park, I still define myself as a swinger. It is not about my actual behaviours on a particular time, but my attitude to the experience. Can you see the difference?
Yep!
5)This has to be included simply because it is a commonly understood sense of the word, however falsely applied. It maybe stems from the 'Swinging Sixties'.
When I think about my own attitude (I would say I 'dip in and out of swinging'): I might have not been involved in swinging for, say, a couple of years - but people who don't know what swinging is about would still probably class me as a 'swinger' in view of my past history. Truth is in the ears of the beholder (A pertinent thought when you are thinking of 'fessing up to your orthodox pals?)
Eek! Sorry for the length of the post! Some silliness before continuing
:violin: :swingingchair: :bounce: but that's a different thread Casual sex
I confess to having an issue about the labels that some maybe share. 'Casual sex' is a phrase that was once used freely without any moral overtones. Nowadays it carries shades of disapproval - and also ignorance I think. Non-swinger friends whose main experience has been monogamous as far as they can remember, can think of the singles lifestyle in lurid terms because they have no knowledge of it. Some of my sexual relationships have not been long term ones, but I can think of very few I would describe as 'casual'. Whether I've known someone a long time or just met them, I am fairly methodical and think carefully before having sex with them. 'Casual sex' also often implies unconsidered sex, or sex without condoms - not something I do.
In a swingers club, the whole process will often happen quite quickly, but I still wouldn't say it was 'casual'. In non-swinging terms, if I have a 'fling' then my philosophy is still similar to the (SH) philosophy - I might be selfish but am decent, open, good value selfish, as usually are my partners. I care about the people I have sex with - they help me grow as a human being, and some of the swingers I have met (sometimes just for a few hours in a club) have been among the most caring peeps I have ever met.
Finally, Calista's quote was so cool I want to mention it again -
Quote by Calista
There is a major distinction to be made between what is called "Swinging" and Polyamory. In swinging, the intent is to engage in non-monogamous sexual behavior without the development of love, affection or personal intimacy between oneself and the secondary partners. Swingers generally seek to engage in recreational sex without emotional intimacy. With polyamory, there is no such restriction, and the intent IS to allow such emotional intimacy to exist, develop, and grow between the people involved.
I'd say I am quite new to polyamory, and have been 'introduced' over the last few months by a wonderful couple both of whom I care about deeply. Previously I had just thought it was a dangerous area but, managed skilfully, it's an enriching emotional experience for which I'm thankful! In a different way, private parties and much SH intercourse (if you'll excuse the pun) involves some emotional intimacy even if not to the extent of polyamory.
Rainbows echoed my thoughts on this
Quote by Rainbows
I am a single woman whose preference is to "swing" with couples who are in a strong relationship (as opposed to "make-shift" couples). The fact that I am a part of that loving, strong relationship is part of what makes the experience a fantastic one for me. It certainly isn't just casual sex for me. It's a whole lot more.
though I do enjoy other forms of sex and swinging too.
Thank you to everyone contributing to this thread for expanding the ideas and the ways we have for discussing them.
Be true to yourself and one another (as Springer might say lol) - the definitions are icing on the cake.
xx Chris
* note to Corriefem - good luck with the salsa tonight!! :-)
My all time fave is Singin' In The Rain. Casablanca comes 2nd with Top Hat.
The Hours and Finding Neverland are probably the only ones that come close for me of recent films.
The current crop of stuff at the cinema is excellent - Ray, Aviator, and Sideways will please most peeps, Closer is outstanding but can be traumatic (don't see it on a 'date'!), Garden State is great fun, Vera Drake is remarkable (but quite heavy!), 2046 is the classiest of cult movies, and Team America is pure genius if you like South Park type humour. Million Dollar Baby seems popular (but didn't quite do it for me) and Meet the Fockers is kinda ok after a couple of beers . . .
The Hours and Finding Neverland are probably the only ones that come close for me of recent films.
The current crop of stuff at the cinema is excellent - Ray, Aviator, and Sideways will please most peeps, Closer is outstanding but can be traumatic (don't see it on a 'date'!), Garden State is great fun, Vera Drake is remarkable (but quite heavy!), 2046 is the classiest of cult movies, and Team America is pure genius if you like South Park type humour. Million Dollar Baby seems popular (but didn't quite do it for me) and Meet the Fockers is kinda ok after a couple of beers . . .
Quote by Libra-Love
At the moment I'm going with rationalisation that whom ever you are you mean me know harm.
But even if no harm was meant, it is obsessive-type behaviour, and it is best to switch off at the first sign of that, even in a relationship. My own suggestion would be give the person a week to say sorry (and then forget about it if they do) and if no reply in a week then contact the police.
x Chris
:roll:Quote by da69ve
Come on if i got a pound for everytime a guy comes on here and says "my girlfriend doesn't understand me or she's not very adventurous"....I'd have ten quid saved up by now!
And what would you have spent the rest on?
Oh hang on - I see - you've answered that . . .
:rotflmao: :rotflmao: :rotflmao: :rotflmao: :rotflmao: John - I bet you never thought you'd come on here and peeps think you were a perv lol ;-) But basically mate, think it through. Are you really into your g/friend? If so and she's not the adventurous kind then that's it really (although you might find some interesting tips on this site to spice up your sex life if you feel it needs it). If the bottom line is that you are an adventurous type and that is more important, then maybe she's not for you? It sounds lke you care for her, so you might want to think about which is which - you'll enjoy either lifestyle if you can be wholeheartedly committed about it. Cheating on someone is not just 'unfair' to them, it's unfair to you, because it means you are pegging time rather than deciding what you really want in your life.
I don't know your g/friend (I am so tempted to put something wicked in here bit won't lol :twisted: ) but would she not enjoy browsing the site with you? If the answer's no, would she be shocked if she found out you had been browsing it? How shocked? Would you want to do that to her? Some men can lead double lives and some women can be Stepford Wives, but you only live once, so decide who you want to have been (and what sort of person you want to have been) now.
I don't know your g/friend (I am so tempted to put something wicked in here bit won't lol :twisted: ) but would she not enjoy browsing the site with you? If the answer's no, would she be shocked if she found out you had been browsing it? How shocked? Would you want to do that to her? Some men can lead double lives and some women can be Stepford Wives, but you only live once, so decide who you want to have been (and what sort of person you want to have been) now.
Quote by bluexxx
There is more than one variation . . .
Most of my swinging experience has been at clubs, or a few private meets. Most of my thoughts about parties have conjured up the things that could easily go wrong instead of the things that could go brilliantly . . .
But Bluexxx has just opened a window on private parties as far as my understanding goes and it sounds such fun :idea: - that sort of (organised) joie de vivre would not happen so easily at a club, so parties open up a whole new world. A 'bit in your face' (if you'll excuse the pun) for those who like things a bit more sedate, but otherwise, what can you say but brilliant!
:thumbup:
Organising an ordinary party successfully is an art, but a swingers party is an extra level and you seem to have the knack ;-) Board games you get from Ann Summers, sweet fun as they are, are hardly the same.
Ciao
Chris xx
btw Vix, I do like your new avatar - those high heels are the biz!
Quote by PussNboots
. . . club Paradise which will be close to where we are staying or one other club outside Amsterdam . . . is it full of single men with only a few ladies, are you expected to partisipate or is it ok to watch and just indulge yourself with your partner or is that going to be seen as rude
Have only been once. It was a couples only night. It's like many of the clubs here, though I'd say it was very upmarket. Plus the Dutch are more open about sexuality and I think it reflects in the attitude in the club. We were welcomed at the door as if we were minor VIPs, given a tour of the main areas and told to come back if we had any questions. My partner did, and was made to feel very comfortable (don't let Dutch 'formality' put you off - they are very friendly given the chance). :)
You could stay at the bar either dressed or just wearing underwear or towels. Smart (or extra smart) casual is nice. Sexy undies for later. As with English clubs, there's no pressure to participate. One upstairs room (semi-dark) was for couples mostly doing own thing with their own partner, but in a way that you could admire or appreciate others in a non-intrusive way, either close enough to touch on an adjacent leather-finish mattress or slightly further away. ("C'mon, Chris", my partner said, "Put on a performance for me", so we did.)
The pool area is like something out of a film set, twin curved staircases descending to it from each side. (View from the balcony is quite romantic).
Our only criticism is that it wasn't very busy the night we went, at least till later on, but we didn't stay till the end. My partner felt it was a bit tame compared to some clubs, but we had a great time.
I went speed dating a few times last year and would recommend it. I went first time with a good friend (someone who "think you're gorgeous etc but we're on different planets and would never date in a million years" type reciprocal close friend).
Our observations looking back (this is coming from two very different perspectives on 'dating')!
1. It's great for meeting new friends - not necessarily people you date but people you develop as friends (this is what everyone says and it sounds cheesy but was true in our experience). Mostly it's very nice people.
2. You are not going to meet the love of your life speed dating (at least it's very unlikely). Why? You'll meet them doing something you have in common. Speeddating is hardly a serial hobby for the conventionally attached (though it might be good for swingers lol?~@*)
3. It's great for (reasonably articulate) guys who want a shag (or a succession of same) or girls who want a succession of free lunches. You can get what you are looking for there. Why? Cos there's plenty of girls who want just a shag too and (at the other end)there's plenty of guys who are dumb enough to buy endless lunches etc. You can also get some nice dates - and some great friends.
ps Any single guys on SH - if you are looking at simply getting your johnson massaged as opposed to getting into swinging, you are better off at speeddating than on here. But as an experience I'd recommend it - even to couples!
x Chris
(Carol's watching me post this and says she'd never do it personally - three minutes is not long enough - unless you fall into category '3' x)
But isn't three minutes long enough to know if you want to continue a conversation?
Fabio!!!!!! Have you phoned her yet?
Our observations looking back (this is coming from two very different perspectives on 'dating')!
1. It's great for meeting new friends - not necessarily people you date but people you develop as friends (this is what everyone says and it sounds cheesy but was true in our experience). Mostly it's very nice people.
2. You are not going to meet the love of your life speed dating (at least it's very unlikely). Why? You'll meet them doing something you have in common. Speeddating is hardly a serial hobby for the conventionally attached (though it might be good for swingers lol?~@*)
3. It's great for (reasonably articulate) guys who want a shag (or a succession of same) or girls who want a succession of free lunches. You can get what you are looking for there. Why? Cos there's plenty of girls who want just a shag too and (at the other end)there's plenty of guys who are dumb enough to buy endless lunches etc. You can also get some nice dates - and some great friends.
ps Any single guys on SH - if you are looking at simply getting your johnson massaged as opposed to getting into swinging, you are better off at speeddating than on here. But as an experience I'd recommend it - even to couples!
x Chris
(Carol's watching me post this and says she'd never do it personally - three minutes is not long enough - unless you fall into category '3' x)
But isn't three minutes long enough to know if you want to continue a conversation?
Fabio!!!!!! Have you phoned her yet?
Aaaaaarrrrgggghhhh!!! (emergency rescue response)
Spag Bol, Curry, Chilli . . . for a romantic meal??????
Mod, you deserve your name Misschief!
Nooooooo . . . those are either guys' food, food to share with old friends, or desperation measures!
Spag Bol gets everywhere, it's embarrassing, it's messy not in a good way, and it's everyone's 'can't cook anything except this one meal' recipe.
Curry and Chilli - err - stink - plus she might not like spicy (a lot of folks don't) - in fact a good plan if she knows you are going to cook is ask her if she has any likes/dislikes - spiciness yes/no? meat/vegetarian? that sort of thing. Lots of people have pet hates (mine is tinned tuna for instance).
Chicken Kiev, salad and stuff (LibraLove's suggestion) - nice, especially if you get a good exotic salad from Tescos (in lieu of making your own) and balsamic vinegar and virgin cold pressed olive oil are fab (also for dipping that crusty bread - nice and sensual) but the Kiev is another of those smelly meals - what are the folk on this Forum trying to do to you lol!
But yes, as mentioned. it's a good idea to avoid stuff that will keep you away from her in the kitchen. Either get a Tesco's Finest that you can just re-heat, or something prepared beforehand, or something like salmon steaks in the oven (wrapped in foil with a little oil and half a fresh lime is nice and easy and delilcious). Maybe some tomatoes on the vine roasted in the oven at the same time? Or PM me your fave ingredients and I'll love to suggest.
Choc&Sex - nice idea with the chocs for afters, Thorntons are ok but for something special try the M&S Italian Collection, or the Gordon Ramsey chocs from Tescos. Or nice loose handmade ones. If you fancy making a simple choc dessert, again PM me and I'll share recipes. Chocolate in some form is a must IMO!
Music and candles - to add to the already excellent suggestions, Garden State soundtrack is nice mellow background, or some late night jazz - something that sets the mood without distracting - but something tells me you will already know what to play her Candles from Kiara over the Internet (or some John Lewis shops) - great for perfuming the room quickly and subtly - the coconot grover, chocolate, coffee are all fantastic (not together of course) whereas rose, jasmin or patchouli are nice for the bedroom or loo (not so strong).
Hope it goes well!
Spag Bol, Curry, Chilli . . . for a romantic meal??????
Mod, you deserve your name Misschief!
Nooooooo . . . those are either guys' food, food to share with old friends, or desperation measures!
Spag Bol gets everywhere, it's embarrassing, it's messy not in a good way, and it's everyone's 'can't cook anything except this one meal' recipe.
Curry and Chilli - err - stink - plus she might not like spicy (a lot of folks don't) - in fact a good plan if she knows you are going to cook is ask her if she has any likes/dislikes - spiciness yes/no? meat/vegetarian? that sort of thing. Lots of people have pet hates (mine is tinned tuna for instance).
Chicken Kiev, salad and stuff (LibraLove's suggestion) - nice, especially if you get a good exotic salad from Tescos (in lieu of making your own) and balsamic vinegar and virgin cold pressed olive oil are fab (also for dipping that crusty bread - nice and sensual) but the Kiev is another of those smelly meals - what are the folk on this Forum trying to do to you lol!
But yes, as mentioned. it's a good idea to avoid stuff that will keep you away from her in the kitchen. Either get a Tesco's Finest that you can just re-heat, or something prepared beforehand, or something like salmon steaks in the oven (wrapped in foil with a little oil and half a fresh lime is nice and easy and delilcious). Maybe some tomatoes on the vine roasted in the oven at the same time? Or PM me your fave ingredients and I'll love to suggest.
Choc&Sex - nice idea with the chocs for afters, Thorntons are ok but for something special try the M&S Italian Collection, or the Gordon Ramsey chocs from Tescos. Or nice loose handmade ones. If you fancy making a simple choc dessert, again PM me and I'll share recipes. Chocolate in some form is a must IMO!
Music and candles - to add to the already excellent suggestions, Garden State soundtrack is nice mellow background, or some late night jazz - something that sets the mood without distracting - but something tells me you will already know what to play her
Candles from Kiara over the Internet (or some John Lewis shops) - great for perfuming the room quickly and subtly - the coconot grover, chocolate, coffee are all fantastic (not together of course) whereas rose, jasmin or patchouli are nice for the bedroom or loo (not so strong).Hope it goes well!
The bit about erections on dead bodies was interesting - gave some - errr - substance to that movie about the female necrophiliac (which was actually quite a tasteful movie - can't remember what it was called . . .) Seeing those bodies on the slab though, they were extrememly unsexy - not the sort of thing to watch before bedtime if you were planning any frolics.
Chris
Watched it last night (pt3) and found it very hard to eat pizza at the same time . . .
Chris
Watched it last night (pt3) and found it very hard to eat pizza at the same time . . .
Yes it was kinda close for comfort! Even the pathologists said they still wince when slicing scrotums. One of those 'I gotta watch but don't want to watch' type progs. Had to flick over occasionally to Real Wife Swaps. And that hairy minge looked sooooooo weird when it was taken out of the pelvis (on the Anatomy Lesson that is, not Real Wife Swaps :uhoh: :grin
Quote by PoloLady
The orgasm isn't the problem - it's the shutting your eyes whilst you get the fantasy thoughts going.
Don't give up - there was a blind guy who raced a winning lap on Top Gear ;-)
But I think he had help with directions - would it put you off Polo if someone said left a bit right a bit ;-)
