I'm afraid it was.
Please excuse the cynicism in my post. Actually, you managed to escape quite lightly compared to the roasting some previous one-liners have had.
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flapjackboy
Over 90 days ago
Straight Male, 51
0 miles · Norfolk
Forum
Wow, I can see the ladies on this site queueing round the block for such a smooth talking individual as yourself.
You'll find that one-liners don't work terribly well on here, especially one-liners WHERE YOU'RE SHOUTING.
Learn to use the caps lock key, it's the one just above the left shift key. Also, try giving just a tad more info.
You'll find that one-liners don't work terribly well on here, especially one-liners WHERE YOU'RE SHOUTING.
Learn to use the caps lock key, it's the one just above the left shift key. Also, try giving just a tad more info.
Quote by master55
NTL cable BB here.
It's so fast I had to install a seatbelt on my chair.
I'm on NTL 300kbps Broadband.
You would recommend would you
:Oh yes, it's insanely fast and about to get twice as fast later this year as NTL streamline all their speeds to 1Mb 2Mb and 3Mb respectively. Mind you, I'm just a speed freak who has to have the fastest connection I can get...
Quote by MISSCHIEF
Oh well look who's late returning to SH Towers after the Christmas break!!!!
...
Oh and welcome backmissed not having you around the place
Well I was putting myself to good use whilst I was away. My sister was offered a new job over christmas and I was needed to look after her 3 kids whilst she was at work until they went back to school. :scared: :eeek:
I spent most of my time there trying to stop them killing each other and the rest of the time trying to stop myself from killing them... :shock:
My sister could make a fortune from hiring them out to couples thinking about having kids... One week of looking after those 3 and anyone would be put off having kids for life...
Quote by MQ
What next?
Ban Noddy books because he sleeps with Big-Ears? :shock:
Aaarrrgggghhhh....PC gone made
Actually they've done away with Big Ears now, he is only friends with Lubey Lou and Teddy in the new series
Great, so Noddy's no longer gay, but now he's into ? *grabs the PC moron responsible for that decision and beats him severely with a wet trout*
Hmmm... Wonder if any of these will work...
You had me at "Hello World."
Mind if I run a sniffer to see if your ports are open?
You make me want to upgrade my Tivo.
By looking at you I can tell you're 36-25-36, which by the way are all perfect squares.
Jedi Mind Trick: "This is the geek you're looking for." *waves hand*
You can put a Trojan on my Hard Drive anytime.
Have you ever googled yourself?
How about we do a little peer-to-peer saliva swapping?
With my IQ and your body we could begin a race of genetic superchildren to conquer the earth.
What's a girl like you doing in a place like this when there's a Farscape marathon on right now on the Sci Fi channel.
I'm attracted to you so strongly, scientists will have to develop a fifth fundamental force.
Tell me of this thing you humans call *dramatic pause* love.
If you turn me down now, I will become more drunk than you can possibly imagine.
They don't call me Bones because I'm a doctor.
Your name is Leslie? Look, I can spell your name on my calculator!
What's a nice girl like you doing in a wretched hive of scum and villany like this?
You must be Windows 95 because you gots me so unstable.
My 'up-time' is better than BSD.
I can tell by your emoticons that you're looking for some company.
Is that an iPod mini in your pocket or are you just happy to see me.
Want to see my Red Hat?
If you won't let me buy you a drink, at least let me fix your laptop.
You had me at "Hello World."
Mind if I run a sniffer to see if your ports are open?
You make me want to upgrade my Tivo.
By looking at you I can tell you're 36-25-36, which by the way are all perfect squares.
Jedi Mind Trick: "This is the geek you're looking for." *waves hand*
You can put a Trojan on my Hard Drive anytime.
Have you ever googled yourself?
How about we do a little peer-to-peer saliva swapping?
With my IQ and your body we could begin a race of genetic superchildren to conquer the earth.
What's a girl like you doing in a place like this when there's a Farscape marathon on right now on the Sci Fi channel.
I'm attracted to you so strongly, scientists will have to develop a fifth fundamental force.
Tell me of this thing you humans call *dramatic pause* love.
If you turn me down now, I will become more drunk than you can possibly imagine.
They don't call me Bones because I'm a doctor.
Your name is Leslie? Look, I can spell your name on my calculator!
What's a nice girl like you doing in a wretched hive of scum and villany like this?
You must be Windows 95 because you gots me so unstable.
My 'up-time' is better than BSD.
I can tell by your emoticons that you're looking for some company.
Is that an iPod mini in your pocket or are you just happy to see me.
Want to see my Red Hat?
If you won't let me buy you a drink, at least let me fix your laptop.
Hows about a nice bit of Weird Al? 
Down in the workshop all the elves were makin' toys
For the good Gentile girls and the good Gentile boys
When the boss busted in, nearly scared 'em half to death
Had a rifle in his hands and cheap whiskey on his breath
From his beard to his boots he was covered with ammo
Like a big fat drunk disgruntled Yuletide Rambo
And he smiled as he said with a twinkle in his eye
"Merry Christmas to all - now you're all gonna die!"
The night Santa went crazy
The night St. Nick went insane
Realized he'd been gettin' a raw deal
Something finally must have snapped in his brain
Well, the workshop is gone now, he decided to bomb it
Everywhere you'll find pieces of Cupid and Comet
And he tied up his helpers and he held the elves hostage
And he ground up poor Rudolph into reindeer sausage
He got Dancer and Prancer with an old German Luger
And he slashed up Dasher just like Freddy Krueger
And he picked up a flamethrower and he barbequed Blitzen
And he took a big bite and said "It tastes just like chicken!"
The night Santa went crazy
The night Kris Kringle went nuts
Now you can't hardly walk around the North Pole
Without steppin' in reindeer guts
There's the National Guard and the F.B.I.
There's a van from the Eyewitness News
And helicopters circlin' 'round in the sky
And the bullets are flyin', the body count's risin'
And everyone's dyin' to know, oh Santa, why
My my my my my my
You used to be such a jolly guy
Yes, Virginia, now Santa's doin' time
In a federal prison for his infamous crime
Hey, little friend, now don't you cry no more tears
He'll be out with good behavior in 700 more years
But now Vixen's in therapy and Donner's still nervous
And the elves all got jobs working for the postal service
And they say Mrs. Clause, she's on the phone every night
With her lawyer negotiating the movie rights
They're talkin' bout the night Santa went crazy
The night St. Nicholas flipped
Broke his back for some milk and cookies
Sounds to me like he was tired of gettin' gypped
Woah, the night Santa went crazy
The night St. Nick went insane
Realized he's gettin' a raw deal
Something finally must have snapped in his brain
Woah, something finally must have snapped in his brain
Tell ya, something finally must have snapped in his brain
Down in the workshop all the elves were makin' toys
For the good Gentile girls and the good Gentile boys
When the boss busted in, nearly scared 'em half to death
Had a rifle in his hands and cheap whiskey on his breath
From his beard to his boots he was covered with ammo
Like a big fat drunk disgruntled Yuletide Rambo
And he smiled as he said with a twinkle in his eye
"Merry Christmas to all - now you're all gonna die!"
The night Santa went crazy
The night St. Nick went insane
Realized he'd been gettin' a raw deal
Something finally must have snapped in his brain
Well, the workshop is gone now, he decided to bomb it
Everywhere you'll find pieces of Cupid and Comet
And he tied up his helpers and he held the elves hostage
And he ground up poor Rudolph into reindeer sausage
He got Dancer and Prancer with an old German Luger
And he slashed up Dasher just like Freddy Krueger
And he picked up a flamethrower and he barbequed Blitzen
And he took a big bite and said "It tastes just like chicken!"
The night Santa went crazy
The night Kris Kringle went nuts
Now you can't hardly walk around the North Pole
Without steppin' in reindeer guts
There's the National Guard and the F.B.I.
There's a van from the Eyewitness News
And helicopters circlin' 'round in the sky
And the bullets are flyin', the body count's risin'
And everyone's dyin' to know, oh Santa, why
My my my my my my
You used to be such a jolly guy
Yes, Virginia, now Santa's doin' time
In a federal prison for his infamous crime
Hey, little friend, now don't you cry no more tears
He'll be out with good behavior in 700 more years
But now Vixen's in therapy and Donner's still nervous
And the elves all got jobs working for the postal service
And they say Mrs. Clause, she's on the phone every night
With her lawyer negotiating the movie rights
They're talkin' bout the night Santa went crazy
The night St. Nicholas flipped
Broke his back for some milk and cookies
Sounds to me like he was tired of gettin' gypped
Woah, the night Santa went crazy
The night St. Nick went insane
Realized he's gettin' a raw deal
Something finally must have snapped in his brain
Woah, something finally must have snapped in his brain
Tell ya, something finally must have snapped in his brain
Quote by celticq
Yes.
But not the dyson - its one of the old fashioned yellow and grey ones.
FFS Old fashioned. What do I sound like - when I were a lass - Dysons were grey and yellow.
By 'eck. Grey & yellow? Two colours? Luxury! In my day, it were a pink Dyson and you had to like it cause there were no other colours available.
Quote by PoloLady
OK I give up.
I usually have a laugh - but people have to come along and take it too seriously, then...
I try to be serious and people think I am having a laugh.
It turns out that if you have a GSOH, then no one on here will ever take you seriously again, resulting in..... never getting a shag when you want one!
WTF is going on here?
Is it so unbelievable that someone (a single fem) actually wants to have sex?
Where am I going wrong?
:therethere: :therethere:
I take you seriously, PL. (Well, about as serious as I take anything in life. ) 