Well, I can't claim credit for it. Found it in the 'Top Tips' section on the Viz website...
Found this one too:
Single men Convince people that you have a girlfriend by standing outside Etam with several bags of shopping, looking at your watch and occasionally glancing inside.
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flapjackboy
Over 90 days ago
Straight Male, 51
0 miles · Norfolk
Forum
:bounce:Quote by deancannock
you know the worst thing...forget this president...you know who the next one will be in 4 years time.............yes Arnie...the terminator...mark my worrds he will be president in 4 years time !!!!!!
That ain't going to happen. Arnie can't run for the presidency as he wasn't born in America. Yes, he's a naturalised immigrant, but that prohibits him for running for the presidency under US law.
Quote by Debbiewebs
Only this morning I found WBB strapped to the underside of a container waggon leaving the site main gates. I only noticed because it looked like it had gained two more wheels!!!!! :shock: :shock: :shock: :shock:
Oh this is rich coming from the bloke I found this morning buried in the laundry basket from the ladies changing rooms :shock: :shock:
- trying to escape were ya!!!! 
missy..... u can be soo adorably niave! he was sniffing the bloody knickers!
oooo thats it!............i have jst wet mine again!
Careful, DW. That's what got the Sarge in there in the first place... :shock:
Quote by Ice Pie
But.... but.... but....
But I never got to unleash my secret WOMD.
You didn't think that Debbiewebs and the half a tomato were random choices did you?
Unfortunately Ice, WBB has two WMDs (which even the american weapons inspectors would have a hard time missing... :shock: )
So it looks like you're out-gunned there, mate...
:shock:
Sorry, going to have to be a boring old fart here and say that pretty much without exception I've not heard a single piece of music released this year that I could listen to...
*wanders off into the distance with his Zimmer frame muttering about how music was much better in his day and none of this modern music is any good...*
*wanders off into the distance with his Zimmer frame muttering about how music was much better in his day and none of this modern music is any good...*
Quote by t&t
But that's the point of the rota darling - they would just be one at a time :twisted: :twisted: :twisted:
And I don't mind sharing either ........................ :giggle:
Well, put me down on yer rota, T. With a 6-'ish long armspan, I can handle even a king size duvet with consumate ease.
Not that I'm bragging, or anything...
well, maybe just a bit
I'm just glad now that my mum taught me how to make a bed right. (Hospital corners and everything) :shock:
Quote by GenHertsCpl
3. being served whilst the shopkeeper either chats on phone or to girl on next checkout about whats shes going to wear clubbing that night
Funnily enough, I experienced this today. I was getting a few things at my local supermarket, was at the checkout and this spotty gimp decided he'd much rather finish texting his mate/girlfriend/pet hamster than ring my items through the till.
Sorry, but you're paid to serve the customers, not chat to your mates.
1: computing non-sequiters in films, such as showing Windows/DOS running on a Mac, or Jeff Goldblum's character in Independence Day being able to knock up a virus capable of disabling the shields of a complete alien fleet despite only having a few hours to look at how their computers work.
2: Chavs/townies/neds. Enough said, really...
3: People who question my technical knowledge when it comes to computers. (I'm thinking of my brother here, mainly) Excuse me, you asked me for help because you don't know what the fark you're doing. If my advice is not what you wanted to hear, go ask someone else and have them tell you the exact same thing I told you, or learn to fix it yourself!
Quote by freckledbird
i thought the way to losing your virginity involved meeting people and forming a relationship with them before having sex for the first time. don't people do that any more? paying for sex is an option if you just want a quicky to get it done with tho lol
maybe the site should be subheaded...'virgins apply here for sex ' lol
Nah. I'm thinking more along the lines of "Virgins sod off down the pub and talk to women"
And if you had read all the other 'I'm a virgin' threads, you would have realised that this is not a fast-track cherry popping service.
No-one was saying that those other posters weren't genuine virgins, but you all seem to think that all the women on here will just offer it up on a plate for you.
Sorry to disappoint, but getting a shag on here requires exactly the same methods you would use anywhere else. If you haven't mastered those yet, may I suggest the pub.
No-one was saying that those other posters weren't genuine virgins, but you all seem to think that all the women on here will just offer it up on a plate for you.
Sorry to disappoint, but getting a shag on here requires exactly the same methods you would use anywhere else. If you haven't mastered those yet, may I suggest the pub.
Quote by fabio grooverider
my biggest problem with the ad is this......... obviously he thinks alot about his vriginty!!! why on earth would you want to lose it like this... and if he is that keen on losing it i am sure you could pay a pro 40 pounds and do him a service... or is this just a cheaper way of doing it!
in which case it isn't really swinging and that is the problem for alot of people here...
sean xxx
Nail hit squarely on head there, Fabio. This isn't some place for virgins to come and get their cherry popped on the cheap. Losing your virginity is something that needs to be done with the right person.
There's no shame in waiting until that person comes along, either. There's way too much peer pressure to lose your virginity as quickly as possible these days and look where society is because of it. Take me, for instance. I had to wait until I was 26 to lose my virginity. Yes, I was frustrated about up until that point, but I was patient and in the end, it was a much better experience
TGP, if you feel that your friends are putting pressure on you to pop your cherry to the extent that you have to come on here and ask for someone to do it, I suggest you get some new friends as these guys sound like prize tossers.
