Quote by JudyTV
And how come there isn't mouse flavoured cat food?
Or sparrow flavour...
There is rabbit flavour though :P
.Judy
Hmmm... That'd probably be more suited to dogs....
Join the most popular community of UK swingers now
Login
flapjackboy
Over 90 days ago
Straight Male, 51
0 miles · Norfolk
Forum
Personally, I can't stand that ad for Wrigley's Extra mints. For one very good reason. Some idiot decided it would be a good idea to have the background music as Mmmm Bop by Hanson.
This person deserves to die a horrible, painful death for that decision.
EDIT: BTW, where was the option for 'All of the above'?
This person deserves to die a horrible, painful death for that decision.
EDIT: BTW, where was the option for 'All of the above'?
Was working as a tech for a local computer firm up north in Darlington and I'm in the workshop, beavering away building and fixing PCs like a happy little tech when the tech support line rings...
<ME> Good afternoon, *Crappy Computers* (The name of the company has been changed to protect the innocent) how can I help?
<Customer> I bought a computer from you a couple of days ago and I can't get it to work.
<ME> Has it just stopped working suddenly, or was it not working when you first plugged it in?
<Customer> It wasn't working from the start.
<ME> OK, I'm just going to run you through a few troubleshooting tests and see if we can't fix this over the phone first. Now, if you can just give me the serial number of your machine so that I can pull up your records on our database.
<Customer> OK, it's xxxxxxxx
*pulls up info on the build* sure enough, it's one of mine and I know it was working fine when it left the workshop. Something ain't right here...
<ME> Alright, if you'd just like to take a look at the rear of the base unit and make sure all of the cables are plugged in nice and tight, then make sure that everything is plugged into the wall sockets and that they're switched on. I know it might sound daft, but it is a common mistake that many people make accidentally.
<Customer> Yes, everything is plugged in properly, the power leads go to the wall sockets and they're switched on.
<ME> OK, if you.d like to try switching the PC on please and tell me what happens.
<Customer> Alright. I pressed the power switch and nothing happened.
<ME> Nothing happened?
<Customer> Well, the thing that looks like a telly that came with it flickered slightly...
*lightbulb flashes above my head* She couldn't be, I think. Could she?
<ME> Can I ask you where you are switching your computer on from?
<Customer> I'm pushing the button on the front of the telly thing.
*sound of my head hitting the desk in stunned disbelief* :doh:
<ME> OK, do you see the big box that all the cables plug into? Push the big button on the front of that, please.
*click*
<Customer> Oh, it's working now. Thank you...
<ME> That's what I'm here for... *click* (cue much laughter in workshop)
<ME> Good afternoon, *Crappy Computers* (The name of the company has been changed to protect the innocent) how can I help?
<Customer> I bought a computer from you a couple of days ago and I can't get it to work.
<ME> Has it just stopped working suddenly, or was it not working when you first plugged it in?
<Customer> It wasn't working from the start.
<ME> OK, I'm just going to run you through a few troubleshooting tests and see if we can't fix this over the phone first. Now, if you can just give me the serial number of your machine so that I can pull up your records on our database.
<Customer> OK, it's xxxxxxxx
*pulls up info on the build* sure enough, it's one of mine and I know it was working fine when it left the workshop. Something ain't right here...
<ME> Alright, if you'd just like to take a look at the rear of the base unit and make sure all of the cables are plugged in nice and tight, then make sure that everything is plugged into the wall sockets and that they're switched on. I know it might sound daft, but it is a common mistake that many people make accidentally.
<Customer> Yes, everything is plugged in properly, the power leads go to the wall sockets and they're switched on.
<ME> OK, if you.d like to try switching the PC on please and tell me what happens.
<Customer> Alright. I pressed the power switch and nothing happened.
<ME> Nothing happened?
<Customer> Well, the thing that looks like a telly that came with it flickered slightly...
*lightbulb flashes above my head* She couldn't be, I think. Could she?
<ME> Can I ask you where you are switching your computer on from?
<Customer> I'm pushing the button on the front of the telly thing.
*sound of my head hitting the desk in stunned disbelief* :doh: <ME> OK, do you see the big box that all the cables plug into? Push the big button on the front of that, please.
*click*
<Customer> Oh, it's working now. Thank you...
<ME> That's what I'm here for... *click* (cue much laughter in workshop)
Quote by midlandsman1970
im on BT Broadband and it seems to be fine, there is a cheaper one out there called "onspeed" at for 25quid a year but i don't know what its like but its supposed to be 3x faster than broadband
The onspeed service is an additional cost on top of your service provider and is really aimed at those still on dial-up who want broadband like speeds. (although it will work over broadband too.)
I'm personally not too sure about their claims. It's an additional cost and that money would be better spent getting a faster broadband connection as all the onspeed service does is compress the datastream, which is already compressed a fair bit anyway. Add in compressed image formats like JPGs and you're not really able to squeeze that much more bandwidth out of a connection.
EDIT: In fact, despite all their high tech jiggery pokery, they seem to be having trouble with their web servers...
EDIT 2: Just had SpyBot block an attempted spyware install from the onspeed site, so avoid like the plague, guys.
Ah, I see you have the 'World's Stupidist Signs' books too, Ice...
Sign in a laundrette:
Don't kill your wife, let us do it..
Road sign:
Please go slowly round the bend...
On a container of lighter fluid:
Warning: Contents flammable.
Well, that's the idea... :doh:
On a box of matches:
Caution: Contents may catch fire.
Damn. Here was me hoping I'd bought some of those new non-flammable matches... :dry:
Sign in a laundrette:
Don't kill your wife, let us do it..
Road sign:
Please go slowly round the bend...
On a container of lighter fluid:
Warning: Contents flammable.
Well, that's the idea... :doh:
On a box of matches:
Caution: Contents may catch fire.
Damn. Here was me hoping I'd bought some of those new non-flammable matches... :dry:
Adjacent signs in a shopping mall:
Archery tournament
Ears pierced
Killing two birds with one stone, perhaps?
At an american petrol station:
We will sell gasoline to anyone in a glass container.
So, only to russian contortionists then?
Sign on the door of a souvenir shop in Porlock Weir, Somerset:
No muddy boots please.
Or dogs smoking ice creams.
I never knew canine ice cream smoking was such a problem in Porlock Weir...
On a tin of carpet cleaner:
Safe for carpets, too
Well, one would hope... :dry:
At a golf course:
All persons (except players) caught collecting balls on this course will be prosecuted and have their balls removed.
A tad harsh in the punishment department there, methinks... :shock:
Archery tournament
Ears pierced
Killing two birds with one stone, perhaps?
At an american petrol station:
We will sell gasoline to anyone in a glass container.
So, only to russian contortionists then?
Sign on the door of a souvenir shop in Porlock Weir, Somerset:
No muddy boots please.
Or dogs smoking ice creams.
I never knew canine ice cream smoking was such a problem in Porlock Weir...
On a tin of carpet cleaner:
Safe for carpets, too
Well, one would hope... :dry:
At a golf course:
All persons (except players) caught collecting balls on this course will be prosecuted and have their balls removed.
A tad harsh in the punishment department there, methinks... :shock:
:mrgreen: Whilst I too hate this time of year when the fireworks go on sale, I also think that banning them may be a bit too extreme.
Tougher regulation is the answer. Make it so that you need a one-shot license to purchase them that is only obtainable from the local council and will only be issued once you have passed a safety exam so that you know how to properly use them. You have to work out what fireworks you are going to buy before you obtain the license and these are written down on the license. You then take this license to a retailer and purchase your fireworks. No license, no fireworks. Any retailer caught selling fireworks to someone without a license gets a £10,000 fine, loses his fireworks retail license permanently and gets 6 months in prison. (not a choice of one, but all three punishments.)
Tougher regulation is the answer. Make it so that you need a one-shot license to purchase them that is only obtainable from the local council and will only be issued once you have passed a safety exam so that you know how to properly use them. You have to work out what fireworks you are going to buy before you obtain the license and these are written down on the license. You then take this license to a retailer and purchase your fireworks. No license, no fireworks. Any retailer caught selling fireworks to someone without a license gets a £10,000 fine, loses his fireworks retail license permanently and gets 6 months in prison. (not a choice of one, but all three punishments.)
Quote by ubik68
I fondly remember those days of drinking too much coffee, getting the shakes, being unable to sleep......
Me too. I remember it as if it was yesterday...
Hang on a minute, it was yesterday....
Yes, another coffee addict here. Mind you, you'll not find any of that instant muck in my kitchen. Fresh filter all the way for me.
I make a mean cappucino too.
The peanut is a vegetable and a member of the pea family,
French fries were invented in Belgium.
Bombay duck is dry, salted fish.
In Japan, Christmas Eve is the time to eat strawberry shortcake and fried chicken.
There are no bananas in banana oil. It is a synthetic compound made with amyl-alcohol and gets its name from its banana-like aroma.
French fries were invented in Belgium.
Bombay duck is dry, salted fish.
In Japan, Christmas Eve is the time to eat strawberry shortcake and fried chicken.
There are no bananas in banana oil. It is a synthetic compound made with amyl-alcohol and gets its name from its banana-like aroma.
