Quote by morbiusUK
I didnt, it was a royal 'wee'
Would that be when the queen goes to the loo? :mrgreen:
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flapjackboy
Over 90 days ago
Straight Male, 51
0 miles · Norfolk
Forum
Quote by Clare_Lincs
But you really don't know that your born,you have to shave if you don't want a beard and thats about it for you guys,your soooo lucky.
Shaving's not as easy as you think, you know. I know that women shave their legs and stuff, but that's not even in the same ball park... Shaving is an art that takes us men years to master properly. Every bloke's face is unique in its requirements. A razor that feels comfortable for one man will feel like it's stripping about five layers of skin on another.
It can take ages for a man to find a razor that he's comfortable with, enduring years of irritated skin, stubbly patches and razor nicks. Same goes for shaving foam/gel. I'm using King of Shaves gel at the moment and it's fantastic for me, but someone else might prefer Gilette, or Tesco's own brand.
In order for us to minimise any razor nicks, we have to learn the contours of our face so well, we could shave blindfolded. This is incredibly difficult to do and requires an incredibly precise sense of touch.
The art of shaving is something that is passed down from father to son and is all part of our coming of age, where one generation passes on its knowledge to the next.
Hope this provided some insight into what shaving is really like for us blokes...
: :doh: 
Quote by MikeNorth
Flapjackboy wrote:2: Political Correctness will be made illegal. Anyone showing even minor PC tendencies will be carted off for re-education. Political Correctness is evil and must be eliminated.
I take it you want to take us back to the world of idiots (a medical term about 50 years ago), cretins, cripples, retards, etc. etc.
Mike.
Certainly not. I'm not advocating that in any way, all I'm saying is that we need to stop people making idiotic decisions because it's the PC thing to do. Such as all these schools who baned parents from bringing cameras into school plays, or (IIRC) Birmingham council trying to rename Christmas to 'Winterval'. It's this rise in the number of little hitlers telling us what we can and can't say and do that I'm wanting to get rid of.
Quote by russnw
Flapjackboy do you listen to mike dicken?well if not stick 1053 or 1089 MW between 10 and 1, youl love him
Russ
Yep, been listening to him for years. And James Whale too. In fact, been listening to TalkSport since it came on the air, back when it was Talk Radio. (When IMHO, it was much better.)
1: A task force will be set up to go through every government department, QUANGO and government contractor with a remit to find all the unjustifiable positions being held by people. If you cannot justify your job to this task force's satisfaction, you get handed your P45.
2: Political Correctness will be made illegal. Anyone showing even minor PC tendencies will be carted off for re-education. Political Correctness is evil and must be eliminated.
3: The Chunnel will be sealed off, but not before we've put on a special Eurostar train for all the bogus asylum seekers, promising them free, no questions asked entry into the country. Once the train is on the way, we blow explosive charges placed at both ends of the tunnel, sealing the buggers in.
4: The government will compulsory purchase all the telephone exchanges and trunk lines back from BT, forcing them to compete on equal footings with the rest of the telcos. We will also pour large amounts of cash into upgrading our datacomms network, ensuring that every single home and business in the country can have access to cheap and fast internet access.
5: Cannabis and prostitution will be legalised. Licenses to produce cannabis products will be auctioned off to any legitimate companies that put in workable bid proposals, the money raised from these auctions will go towards helping addicts of harder drugs kick the habit, as will the taxes raised from the sale of cannabis products. This will also free police resources to crack down on the dealers peddling the class A drugs, rather than busting every two bit dope dealer who sells the odd bit of weed now and again. Again, with prostitution legalised, it will free up police resources, the industry can be regulated and taxed. The working girls will be safer because they will have to work from licensed, secure brothels.
6: Licensing laws will be brought more in line with those in europe. Our licensing laws date back to WWII and are therefore irrelevant in today's society. Pubs and clubs will be allowed to stay open as long as they deem fit, eventually putting an end to the binge drinking culture we have here in the UK.
7: All male babies will be sterilised at birth and contraception will be mandatory. Couples wanting to have children must apply for a license first, part of the application being both a written and psychological examination to determine their fitness to raise a child. The would-be parent's financial situation would also be assessed to make sure that they could provide for said children. If all goes well, said couple will be given the go ahead to have a child. The pregnancy will be initiated via artificial insemination and the license is good for one child only. Should the couple want a second child, another application needs to be made.
2: Political Correctness will be made illegal. Anyone showing even minor PC tendencies will be carted off for re-education. Political Correctness is evil and must be eliminated.
3: The Chunnel will be sealed off, but not before we've put on a special Eurostar train for all the bogus asylum seekers, promising them free, no questions asked entry into the country. Once the train is on the way, we blow explosive charges placed at both ends of the tunnel, sealing the buggers in.
4: The government will compulsory purchase all the telephone exchanges and trunk lines back from BT, forcing them to compete on equal footings with the rest of the telcos. We will also pour large amounts of cash into upgrading our datacomms network, ensuring that every single home and business in the country can have access to cheap and fast internet access.
5: Cannabis and prostitution will be legalised. Licenses to produce cannabis products will be auctioned off to any legitimate companies that put in workable bid proposals, the money raised from these auctions will go towards helping addicts of harder drugs kick the habit, as will the taxes raised from the sale of cannabis products. This will also free police resources to crack down on the dealers peddling the class A drugs, rather than busting every two bit dope dealer who sells the odd bit of weed now and again. Again, with prostitution legalised, it will free up police resources, the industry can be regulated and taxed. The working girls will be safer because they will have to work from licensed, secure brothels.
6: Licensing laws will be brought more in line with those in europe. Our licensing laws date back to WWII and are therefore irrelevant in today's society. Pubs and clubs will be allowed to stay open as long as they deem fit, eventually putting an end to the binge drinking culture we have here in the UK.
7: All male babies will be sterilised at birth and contraception will be mandatory. Couples wanting to have children must apply for a license first, part of the application being both a written and psychological examination to determine their fitness to raise a child. The would-be parent's financial situation would also be assessed to make sure that they could provide for said children. If all goes well, said couple will be given the go ahead to have a child. The pregnancy will be initiated via artificial insemination and the license is good for one child only. Should the couple want a second child, another application needs to be made.
Well said, Bari.
I prefer a woman with a bit of meat on her bones too. Much nicer to cuddle up to than some of these walking skeletons you see these days. I hate the fact that the media tells women that the thinner they are, the more attractive they are when it's just not true. In many cultures, the fuller figured woman is considered more attractive and rightly so.
So here's to all the big girls out there. May you brighten the lives of those who worship you for years to come...
I prefer a woman with a bit of meat on her bones too. Much nicer to cuddle up to than some of these walking skeletons you see these days. I hate the fact that the media tells women that the thinner they are, the more attractive they are when it's just not true. In many cultures, the fuller figured woman is considered more attractive and rightly so.
So here's to all the big girls out there. May you brighten the lives of those who worship you for years to come...
OK.
If we're talking about time spent between sexual partners, then that's about 2.5 years and rising.
If we're talking about time from puberty to my first sexual encounter, that's about 14 years.
If we're talking about the longest amount of my life without sex, regardless of timeframe/partners, that would be 26 years.
If we're talking about time spent between sexual partners, then that's about 2.5 years and rising.
If we're talking about time from puberty to my first sexual encounter, that's about 14 years.
If we're talking about the longest amount of my life without sex, regardless of timeframe/partners, that would be 26 years.
Quote by madmaninsane
Have business cards made up that read "This card entitles the bearer to a free shag!! Phone this number now"
Genius, sheer genius.
to get some business card sheets to run through his printerHow sureal lol almost like you should be on TV who would ever have thought of a rabbit with a bloddy pancake on its head lol
Well, I can't claim credit for the picture in my sig, I'm afraid. It's just something doing the rounds at the moment. I have since found out that the rabbit's name was Oolong. Sadly, Oolong has gone to that great rabbit hutch in the sky and will no longer be balancing things on his head. His memory lives on, however in countless forums across the world as people use his image in flame pics and sigs.
Here's to you Oolong, object balancing bunny extraordinaire.
A kid comes home from school with a writing assignment. He asks his father for help. "Dad, can you tell me the difference between potential and reality?"
His father looks up, thoughtfully, and then says, "I'll demonstrate. Go ask your mother if she would sleep with Robert Redford for a million dollars. Then go ask your sister if she would sleep with Brad Pitt for a million dollars. Then come back and tell me what you've learned."
The kid is puzzled, but decides to ask his mother. "Mom, if someone gave you a million dollars, would you sleep with Robert Redford?"
"Don't tell your father, but yes, I would."
He then goes to his sister's room. "Sis, if someone gave you a million dollars, would you sleep with Brad Pitt?"
She replies, "Omigod! Definitely!"
The kid goes back to his father. "Dad, I think I've figured it out. Potentially, we are sitting on two million bucks, but in reality, we are living with two sluts."
His father looks up, thoughtfully, and then says, "I'll demonstrate. Go ask your mother if she would sleep with Robert Redford for a million dollars. Then go ask your sister if she would sleep with Brad Pitt for a million dollars. Then come back and tell me what you've learned."
The kid is puzzled, but decides to ask his mother. "Mom, if someone gave you a million dollars, would you sleep with Robert Redford?"
"Don't tell your father, but yes, I would."
He then goes to his sister's room. "Sis, if someone gave you a million dollars, would you sleep with Brad Pitt?"
She replies, "Omigod! Definitely!"
The kid goes back to his father. "Dad, I think I've figured it out. Potentially, we are sitting on two million bucks, but in reality, we are living with two sluts."
