Harry0's Forum Posts | Swinging Heaven

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harry0

Over 90 days ago

Straight Male, 82

0 miles · County Durham

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21 Jan 2004

Over the years I have no doubt that many men have been insulted or offended by barbed comments from the female of the species.
What's the worst you have heard?
This does not have to be experienced personally, it may also include insults you have heard from other sources.
I'll start it off with the comment,
"Are you in yet"
Harry0
______________________________
This was not said to me rolleyes

rolleyes

honestly

21 Jan 2004

Hello Bunny,
Welcome to the Forum, but don't just stick here, there's a very good Chatroom and lots of extras scattered around the site. Everyone's very friendly, some are even funny. rolleyes

rolleyes

Harry0
___________________________
I must change my avatar, I'm looking more like it each day. lol

lol

21 Jan 2004

Heads up people, another nasty is out and about.
MessageLabs, an Internet security firm, said it had detected more than 70,000 copies of the W32/Bagle-mm virus in the past 24 hours.
The computer virus, or worm, is contained in infected e-mails as an attachment.
The aim of the worm is to spread still further by looking for new e-mail addresses in the infected computer, such as in the user's list of contacts.
Experts at MessageLabs say it appears the worm is also programmed to send details about all infected computers to website addresses in Germany, though the sites do not yet appear to be up and running.
Paul Wood, chief information security analyst at MessageLabs, said: "We have seen over 73,000 copies of Bagle, and this number is rising at an alarming rate."
Infected e-mails include a file attachment ending .exe and the word "hi" in the subject line. The message contains the word "test" followed by the symbol =).
Analysis shows the worm has a cut-off date of January 28, a ploy used by hackers in the past to avoid detection.
The advice to users is to ensure they update their anti-virus software on a regular basis.
Copied from AOL Technology News.
Harry0
___________________________
evil

evil

:evil: :evil:

20 Jan 2004

Where are the 'highbrows' on this site?
My first record was the Polovtsian Dances from Prince Igor by Borodin. The music was later plagerised by some Yank and brought out as a pop single called Stranger in Paradise. If I remember correctly it was one of the first 'Classical' 45's made. Cost me 2/6d brand new. That's about in funny money.
Harry0
_______________________
Showing my age here I think. lol

lol

20 Jan 2004

large pile of Jags condiments and
Harry0
________________
follow that. lol

lol

19 Jan 2004

Congratulations to all, sorry I wasn't able to join in but a prior appointment that I couldn't get out of was to blame. And no it wasn't a female (unfortunately) I was lecturing.
Harry0

19 Jan 2004

harry_n_wendy Wrote:-

"Beer" is used by female sexual predators at parties and bars to persuade their male victims to go home and have sex with them. Typically, a woman needs only to persuade a guy to consume a few units of "beer" and then simply ask him home for no strings attached sex. Men are rendered helpless against this approach.

I just wish I could find a female to pay for my "beer". never mind providing the sex. lol

lol

Harry0
____________________

18 Jan 2004

rgfromhtfc Wrote:-

Hey i have an idea, i'm in the process of buying licensed premises and would certainly look at using the venue as a munch

I wish you well in your venture RG. One would hope that there would be a discount for Swinging Heaven members should they patronise your premises on a regular basis. lol

lol

Harry0
__________________________
I can drink anyone under the table, and am often the first one to arrive under the said table. :lol:

18 Jan 2004

Perhaps it's because I on AOL which blocks 'pop ups' and I have a load of other blocking, anti spy ware, add ware and firewalls etc. I now never get pop ups. All I get are the two regular daily Emails asking me :-
A Do I want a degree?
B. Do I want Viagra or other enlargement potions?
Where I can I reply:-
A. Thanks I already have a Degree and will have (hopefully) a Doctorate in the next few months. (True).
B. Don't bother me again until you have a cream, pill or potion to reduce the size of my erections. (False) lol

lol

This may hopefully cause this Pharmacutical Company to invest large amounts of their profits for a potion for which there is very little or no demand.
Harry0
___________________________
I can be a little Devil at times. Heh, Heh, Heh.

18 Jan 2004

Bluexxx Wrote:-

I'm innocent. I have patches, not spots

Sorry Bluexxx,
I didn't know you were trying to give up smoking :taz:
But I thought you were only supposed to use one patch at a time lol

lol

Harry0
________________________
I'm better at giving up smoking than anyone else,
I'm also better at taking it up again. evil

evil

18 Jan 2004

It's worse than I thought folks. The Spotty Dog Virus makes Bluexx only able to see one shade of each colour. Are there any volunteers to knock the spots off Bluexxx . lol

lol

Harry0

17 Jan 2004

This has nothing to do with this thread but I would suggest Bluexxx ought to get to the vet, looks like she has a severe case of spotty dog virus. lol

lol

Harry0
______________________
If any more atavars appear with spots on we will all know who has been dogging with Bluexxx.

14 Jan 2004

Paul_R Wrote:-

I keep reading in the ads on S.H that people are fed up with timewasters. Now I am not a timewaster, but have had little joy getting in touch with anyone. Are there really any couples or single women who are really interested in meeting a really nice guy- o.k so I'm 50 is that the end of the world?

Hi Paul,
I wish I was fifty again, I was 10 when you were born and I'm still managing to swing. rolleyes

rolleyes

I have met many of the members of Swinging Heaven over the past 18 months or so at various 'get togethers' and at 'Swinging Parties'. A great bunch of people they are too. 8)
When I first started swinging car keys were put into a fruit bowl on a coffee table and each woman was blindfolded and allowed to pick a set of keys the owner of which she spent the night with. Contact was made through underground 'Newspapers' or Magazines and it took weeks to set up a simple meeting.
It often takes as long these days as people have to get to know you first.
Keep posting, join the chatroom, go to a Munch if one is held in your area etc. As I have often informed 'Newbies', nothing is instant in Swinging.
There are time wasters out there, :taz: and the site moderators will remove them if there is a justifiable complaint. There is a little button ( Report this add) on each advert, which allows you to make a complaint against anyone.
There are a lot of genuine couples and singles out there, it just takes time and patience to get to know them. Have a look through the various pages of The Forum, Cafe and Lets Meet sections, there is a lot of good advice to be found.

Don't we still bleed?

Only if you cut yourself on that foil they wrap condoms in. lol

lol

Harry0
_________________________
The oldest swinger in any town. :lol:

14 Jan 2004

mattmoleman Wrote:-

I know its hard to get to Sunderland, its jsut that the Stadium of Light is by far the best stadium in the North East. I wouldn't set foot in the others.

Somehow I don't think that there are enough 'Swingers' in the NE to fill a football stadium. lol

lol

I room in a pub on the outskirts of Newcastle upon Tyne might be more practical I think. Bye the bye, mattmoleman, T shirts and shorts are only worn by the mentally defective in this area during the winter. rolleyes

rolleyes

Should travel to the NE be a problem a main line railway station would be an advantage, therefore Newcastle is ideally placed for visitors from the north, west and south. A short 'Metro' or bus ride will cater for those coming from the east of the city.
As niceguy_eddy suggested this local Munch, I think he should be responsible for organising it. If he has a problem with this, I would suggest he contacts SteveG_NW to see how it was organised in the NW.
Looking forward to it, where ever it takes place.
Harry0
_____________________
The oldest Swinger and Muncher in any town. :lol:

14 Jan 2004

The Newcastle / Durham City area would be ideal, we might even get some of our Scottish cousins to attend then. The more the merrier. As far as those of us who live in the North East are concerned Leeds is handier only if you want to attend the next NW Munch.
It's about time the NE proper had a munch.
Harry0
___________________
The oldest swinger and muncher in any town. lol

lol

13 Jan 2004

Fred Flintstone wrote:-

And you did look every inch the part as headmaster Harry! Shame about your conker skills! Fancy losing to the girlies!

I only let the girls win Fred because I wanted to let them think they had the upper hand. I have found them far more amenable if they think they have won. Anyway it was a pleasure loosing to Wilma who looks more gorgeous than the cartoon figure of her.
Harry0
__________________________
Gonzo may think no parachute is cool
but I was very glad for one the last time I
left an aircraft that hadn't landed. lol

lol

13 Jan 2004

Err Sarge,
I think the figure of 55 on line at any one time needs to be updated. It is not uncommon these days to have between 70 and 90 on line in the chatroom. Now the screen messages move so fast that by the time you reply to anyone their message is already off the screen.
@Harry0
_____________________
The Sarge's secret spy in the chatroom. 8) lol

lol

12 Jan 2004

Hi Steve,
I am sick, sick, sick of all the plaudits. (just jealous) I was missing because I was genuinely sick and couldn't manage 400 mile round trip to be there. Glad you all had a very good time. I will be at the next one though. Please organise another soon. I was the only OP in the chatroom that night and everyone there was so pissed off at not being able to attend they all behaved very well. Either that, or all the trouble makers were at the Munch. lol

lol

Harry0

12 Jan 2004

Beleraphon Wrote:-

Why don't I get invited to those sorts of parties?

Hi again,
Once you get known in the Forum or Chatroom, you may well get invited to a party, or, if you can't wait, why don't you hold one yourself? There does seem to be a lack of parties in your area, so why not get in touch with a few local S.H members. I have attended several in the last year and had to travel over 400 miles on a round trip to each party, but boy was it worth it. lol
Harry0

12 Jan 2004

Beleraphon Wrote:-

I love the fantasy of a woman dresing as a naughty schoolgirl, pleated skirt, white blouse, tie and navy blue knickers.
I find the play acting fun and the feel of a womans pleated skirt brushing my thighs as I enter her a real turn on.
Underage girls don't register on my radar, but I do like mature women to play the schoolie game though. It's just fun.

There's nothing wrong with a naughty schoolgirls/schoolboys party at all, provided that all the participants are of a legal age. I went to such a party last year organised by a Swinging Heaven member and his wife. It was one of the best parties I have attended and great fun was had by all. I still remember the bursting blouses and the micro mini dresses. Wow. Being the senior member there, age wise, I went as a headmaster complete with mortar board, gown and cane. The latter got eyeballed more than me, but I must admit I had a delightful time with a gorgeous blonde.
Themed parties are far more fun, give it a go yourself and have fun.
Harry0
_________________________
An old dog can teach the younger dogs many a trick. lol

lol

8 Jan 2004

Jags Wrote:- or rather badly copied

I intend to do a bombing raid on Jags house. 4 x 500lb bombs of condoms will keep her occupied for some time. She'll have to eat her way out of her house.

I wrote Condiments Jags not Condoms, and, No you do not get any men to go with them, for threatening to sneak on us to The Screws of The World.
Harry0
Gonzo the Great may find no parachute 'Cool'
I was rather grateful for one the last time I jumped out of an aircraft. lol

lol

8 Jan 2004

Strawberries and Cream sounds like a good aphrodisiac to me. Oysters are very overated. I ate 6 the other night and only three worked. lol

lol

Harry0
______________
The oldest swinger in any town. :lol:

8 Jan 2004

As the Sergeants reccee Pilot (Prick Inserted Lots Of Times) I intend to do a bombing raid on Jags house. 4 x 500lb bombs of condiments will keep her occupied for some time. She'll have to eat her way out of her house. We can't let the enemy (News of The World) know of our activities, can we Sarge? :twisted:
Harry0
A.K.A. Pvt Doberman.
____________________________
There are old Pilots and bold Pilots
but no old, bold, Pilots. lol

lol

7 Jan 2004

Toyboy wrote:-

Hi all, im new to this forum and looking for an older women for a little fun!

Sorry Toyboy,
There's no such thing as a little fun with an older woman. There's a hell of a lot of fun, to be had with an older woman.
Believe me I have tried both younger and older. Heh, Heh, Heh.
Mind you I must admit, I have problems now finding a woman older than myself these days. Still that doesn't put me off. Older women have three great advantages.
1 They never yell.
2 They never tell.
3. They're damned grateful. So much so, you get invited back time and time again.
Believe it or not, I was introduced to a new form of Female to Male masterbation yesterday by an older woman (OK she was only a year older than me) I thought I had experienced everything, yet you live and learn. It was so good I woke up with a smile on my face 18 hours afterwards.
lol.
Harry0
____________________________
Practitioner in chasing older women. 8)

7 Jan 2004

Low Sperm Counts.
Not a bad thing in my view. The less kids born in this world the better.
When I was born the world population was a shade over 4 Billion, today it is Billion. By 2035 at the current world birth rate of 4 babies per second being born it will be 10 Billion and that's allowing for all human deaths in all age groups.
Given that the UN say that at present 60% of the worlds population is under nourished or starving, what will the % be in 2035. At a guess I would say upwards of 85%.
Perhaps low sperm counts are natures way of ensuring that there are less kids being born, thus eventually reducing the world's human population to manageable numbers. Man is the most abundant animal on the planet and uses and/or wastes vast amounts of the planets natural resources. Once these are gone, they're gone for ever. Who knows the Human Race may eventually become extinct. Not as daft as it seems, after all 99% of all the life forms that have ever existed on this planet are extinct. So why should humans be exempt.
Harry0
_______________________
It's the Biologists side of my make up coming out here. lol

lol

7 Jan 2004

I always like to leave my ladies smoking in bed after making love to them. If they don't, I haven't done my part properly. lol

lol

Harry0
_______________
I aint talking cigarettes here either.

7 Jan 2004

Heh, heh, heh.
Harry0
__________

3 Jan 2004

Hey Sarge,
I told the girls to line up for a kit inspection and they're all lined up naked from the waist up. I think they might have misheard me.
All the men are on the parade ground naked from the waist down, I don't know why, I told them it was a weapons inspection.
Harry0 (AKA Pvt Doberman)
________________________________
Loose lips might sink ships but they give a lousy blow job. lol

lol

2 Jan 2004

Hi ootd,
He don't take the ramblings of some prat to heart. As a long time member of SH I admire your style although it differs a lot from mine. You are very welcome in the Forum, Chatroom or anywhere else on this site. If someone else can't take it, TOUGH.
As for me I'm old fashioned, Edwardian even, but everyone to his or her own. Variety is the spice of life. As far as I am concerned you are very welcome anywhere on this site.
Harry0
________________________
Nil illigitimi carborundum.
(don't let the bastards grind you down) lol

lol

2 Jan 2004

Jags wrote:-

Falls on floor laughing

Not laughing half as much as me when Jermain Greer came last in Celebrity Mastermind the other day. Did you see her? A granny in a mini skirt.

rotflmao

:rotflmao: :rotflmao: :rotflmao: :rotflmao:
Harry0
_________________________
Theres hope for the men yet lol

lol