Quote by massageroy4ume again did you spot the deliberate mistake??
ROY
Ermmmm.
Which one? There were several.
Harry0
Casanova and Drunk of this Parish
Join the most popular community of UK swingers now
Login
harry0
Over 90 days ago
Straight Male, 82
0 miles · County Durham
Forum
Orgasminator
Being an atheist I don't do Christmas at all. I do however follow the old Pagan festival of having a midwinter 'Blowfest'. I lay in a stock of booze, ciggies and food.
After a midday dinner on the 25th of December I retire early to bed with the female of my choice, accompanied by various nibbles and liquid refreshments, and spend the rest of the day enjoying myself. Sod the old films and the various quasi religious progammes and everything else. After a day of debauchary I wake up the following morning, and replenish the nibbles and booze and after a shower return to bed for another day of trying out all the various positions in the Karma Sutra.
You celebrate Christmas if you wish, I prefer my mid-winter Blowfest.. lol.
Harry0
Casanova and Drunk of this Parish. :twisted:
After a midday dinner on the 25th of December I retire early to bed with the female of my choice, accompanied by various nibbles and liquid refreshments, and spend the rest of the day enjoying myself. Sod the old films and the various quasi religious progammes and everything else. After a day of debauchary I wake up the following morning, and replenish the nibbles and booze and after a shower return to bed for another day of trying out all the various positions in the Karma Sutra.
You celebrate Christmas if you wish, I prefer my mid-winter Blowfest.. lol.
Harry0
Casanova and Drunk of this Parish. :twisted:
Orgasminator
Quote by bluexxx
Well, it's not poetic, it isn't prose, and it doesn't rhyme. What I do think it is:- It's very female degrading. The 'lyric' if that's what you can call it, shows no respect to women at all, and typifies the attitude of so many of the young in certain social and ethnic groups these days, to think of women as no more than a piece of meat to have their way with. It beats me as to why anyone, other than someone who is either stone deaf or moronic, would ever consider buying such trash. It can hardly be called music with a vocal attached.
In all honesty, I think 'Rap' is a monotenous dirge without tune,accompanied by someone who cannot, under any meaning of the word 'sing', spouting out a load of drivel, and trying to make up for the inadequicies of both the 'music' and the 'vocal' by having a group of other boys punching the air with their arms and jumping around as if they had Ants in their pants.
In other words, it's shite
:laughabove: :laughabove: :laughabove:
Ahh, BlueXXX You do have a way with words. Short, sweet and to the point.
Harry0
Cassanova and Drunk of this Parish.
Orgasminator
"kinkyluton"]i think we should all have a think how the man with the coolist name has change our likes
Seeing has how I have never even hear of him, he has had no effect whatsoever on my likes.
and the great lines what have touched us
You give me your number, I call you up
You act like ur pussy dont interrupt
I don't have no problem with you fucking me
But I have a little problem wit you not fucking me
and the great
You can call me dirty, and then lift up your skirt
And you want some of this dirty, god made dirt and dirt bust yo ass
Well, it's not poetic, it isn't prose, and it doesn't rhyme. What I do think it is:- It's very female degrading. The 'lyric' if that's what you can call it, shows no respect to women at all, and typifies the attitude of so many of the young in certain social and ethnic groups these days, to think of women as no more than a piece of meat to have their way with. It beats me as to why anyone, other than someone who is either stone deaf or moronic, would ever consider buying such trash. It can hardly be called music with a vocal attached.
In all honesty, I think 'Rap' is a monotenous dirge without tune,accompanied by someone who cannot, under any meaning of the word 'sing', spouting out a load of drivel, and trying to make up for the inadequicies of both the 'music' and the 'vocal' by having a group of other boys punching the air with their arms and jumping around as if they had Ants in their pants.
rest in peace you dirty bastard
Far be it for me to speak ill of the dead, but it does have it's up side..He won't be making anymore records.
Harry0
Cassanova and Drunk of this Parish.
Orgasminator
I've just got back from attending the local village War Memorial Rememberance Service. The attendance was very small, but it is a small village. There were several veterans of WW 2, Korea, and later conflicts present as their medals showed, and a few War Widows or relatives of the fallen.
The Last Post was sounded by a serving soldier, home on leave. He played with a pure crystal clarity, not a note was wrong. I noted the tears in the eyes of all these brave elderly men, who were remembering their friends and comrades who fell in action and thus are 'forever young'. As always, it was a very emotional and moving moment.
What did upset me was the fact that during this very short service, a number of 'boy racers' drove past the memorial with their car radios or CD players blasting out 'Rap or other modern 'crap music'. I must admit I wondered for a moment where their sense of respect was. Perhaps it's because modern eduction doesn't teach true history any more. it appears to be full of the modern 'politically correct' version of history instead of the truth.
I'm glad there were some at least, who turned out on this very frosty morning to say WE WILL REMEMBER THEM.
Harry0
Ex serviceman who was fortunate enough not to be called to arms.
The Last Post was sounded by a serving soldier, home on leave. He played with a pure crystal clarity, not a note was wrong. I noted the tears in the eyes of all these brave elderly men, who were remembering their friends and comrades who fell in action and thus are 'forever young'. As always, it was a very emotional and moving moment.
What did upset me was the fact that during this very short service, a number of 'boy racers' drove past the memorial with their car radios or CD players blasting out 'Rap or other modern 'crap music'. I must admit I wondered for a moment where their sense of respect was. Perhaps it's because modern eduction doesn't teach true history any more. it appears to be full of the modern 'politically correct' version of history instead of the truth.
I'm glad there were some at least, who turned out on this very frosty morning to say WE WILL REMEMBER THEM.
Harry0
Ex serviceman who was fortunate enough not to be called to arms.
Orgasminator
Quote by Libra-Love
:P Fan-bloody-tastic.
Howzabout we really confuse Bush and fax it through to the White House:
:giggle: :evil2: :happy:
It would look better on House of Commons headed paper and a copy of signature on the bottom. That would cause even more constenation on the other side of the pond.
:D :D Harry0
Cassanova and Drunk of this Parish.
Orgasminator
A moment of sanilty in here for once, thanks Olive.
I stopped my van in the middle of Consett, this morning at precisely got out and stood at attention for two minutes. A very few other drivers did the same. It caused one almighty traffic jam. I will also be at the local War Memorial on Sunday, I haven't missed that parade once in over 40 years.
If I should die, think only this of me.
That in some corner of a foreign field,
There is a place that is forever, England.
When wrote that to a friend he was thinking of his own life, I'm sure he wouldn't mind the last word being amended so as to include all the men from all our allied countries who fought in all wars.
It is unfortunate that the French don't have similar sympathies, for those of you who aren't familiar with what is happening. They are bulldozing an area of the Loos battlefield where hundreds of our troops died and were never found or recovered. They lie there still. The reason for the bulldozing? They are building a rubbish dump. I don't think the site moderators would let me say what I think of that.
Harry0
I stopped my van in the middle of Consett, this morning at precisely got out and stood at attention for two minutes. A very few other drivers did the same. It caused one almighty traffic jam. I will also be at the local War Memorial on Sunday, I haven't missed that parade once in over 40 years.
If I should die, think only this of me.
That in some corner of a foreign field,
There is a place that is forever, England.
When wrote that to a friend he was thinking of his own life, I'm sure he wouldn't mind the last word being amended so as to include all the men from all our allied countries who fought in all wars.
It is unfortunate that the French don't have similar sympathies, for those of you who aren't familiar with what is happening. They are bulldozing an area of the Loos battlefield where hundreds of our troops died and were never found or recovered. They lie there still. The reason for the bulldozing? They are building a rubbish dump. I don't think the site moderators would let me say what I think of that.
Harry0
Orgasminator
If I woke up with a pussy instread of a cock, I'd go to Australia and find my ex wife who no doubt would have a penis.
I'd let her make love to me, whilst verbally making out a list of shopping that needed doing, and making comments like "the ceiling needs painting."
In other words, give her a bit of her own medicine.
Harry0
Cassanova and Drunk of this Parish.
I'd let her make love to me, whilst verbally making out a list of shopping that needed doing, and making comments like "the ceiling needs painting."
In other words, give her a bit of her own medicine.
Harry0
Cassanova and Drunk of this Parish.
Orgasminator
Quote by HannahnAlex
Well were currently searching for a Kitchen fitter and also require so building work done too.
Prags & The Funk...I'm sure Hannah would be very grateful of your professional services...can't gaurntee any extra's, but with a deadline of X-mas for work to be complete....who know's...!!!
HnA
A Christmas deadline for building work to be completed. Your living in cloud cockoo land.
:lol2: :lol2: :lol2: :lol2: :lol2: Even with a promise of supurb sex you couldn't get a builder to finish a job before Christmas.
Harry0
Cassanova and Drunk of this Parish.
Orgasminator
Quote by the funk
im a kitchen fitter !!!
Then your in an ideal situation, the only problem I can see is if your doubled up with someone else. A workmate in the same house with you is not going to get you as many offers as if you were alone. Perhaps if you think things look promising you can send him back to the workshop for a 'long stand' That should give you time for a quicky. lol.
Harry0
Orgasminator
Quote by Dawn_Mids
I can vouch for Steve'sif that helps
You lot stop taking the pissSteve has been here for ages now, all of 3 weeks :giggle:
Dawn :silly:
Hello Dawn,
I thought the change of location, without female companionship would give him a chance to recuperate. lol.
Harry0
Cassanova and Drunk of this Parish.
Orgasminator
In my late teens and early twenties I worked as a Gas Fitter Plumber, and during a three year period worked in several houses each day. I was offered the opportunity to visit the bedroom of a good number of these houses that I worked in, by the lady of the house.
I did so purely, I must admit, on the grounds that it was Company Policy to give the customer complete satisfaction. ( I lie. lol. I liked it as well) In that three year period I bedded at least one or two different women a month whilst at work. Several of these ladies I also saw later outside of work hours. Nearly all of them just did it because they weren't getting enough from their husbands, and some of them were real ravers in bed.
In those days the servicing of gas appliances was free of charge and I was frequently asked to go back and do some more servicing (and not just of the gas appliance).
I nearly got caught once, by a husband, when he came home unexpectedly, but managed to bluff my way out of it. Funnily enough the name of the street where this incident took place was 'The Riding.'
My tip to those who do similar work today. Always wear clean overalls, be smart and well turned out, and freshly shaved. If the lady of the house is interested you will soon be able to pick up on the signals, that she is interested. There may be a few women who like a 'bit of rough', but I never met one in the rather posher areas of the city where I worked.
In those days I was reasonably good looking, taller than most, with broad shoulders and a slim waist. Sadly, things have changed over the years, and I'm just like many another 'old geezer' today. :cry:
Harry0
Cassanova and Drunk of this Parish
I did so purely, I must admit, on the grounds that it was Company Policy to give the customer complete satisfaction. ( I lie. lol. I liked it as well) In that three year period I bedded at least one or two different women a month whilst at work. Several of these ladies I also saw later outside of work hours. Nearly all of them just did it because they weren't getting enough from their husbands, and some of them were real ravers in bed.
In those days the servicing of gas appliances was free of charge and I was frequently asked to go back and do some more servicing (and not just of the gas appliance).
I nearly got caught once, by a husband, when he came home unexpectedly, but managed to bluff my way out of it. Funnily enough the name of the street where this incident took place was 'The Riding.'
My tip to those who do similar work today. Always wear clean overalls, be smart and well turned out, and freshly shaved. If the lady of the house is interested you will soon be able to pick up on the signals, that she is interested. There may be a few women who like a 'bit of rough', but I never met one in the rather posher areas of the city where I worked.
In those days I was reasonably good looking, taller than most, with broad shoulders and a slim waist. Sadly, things have changed over the years, and I'm just like many another 'old geezer' today. :cry:
Harry0
Cassanova and Drunk of this Parish
Orgasminator
One poor unfortunate I met once, at school, was called Issac Hunt. Poor sod had to change his name by deed pole. lol.
BTW Horneyred & Dino, the oldest living organism is a bacteria,found still alive in 2,000,000 year old salt deposits in the the old Soviet Union, now Russia. Not Siberia, despite common erronious data, there are no salt mines in Siberia.
Harry0
Full of useless information. lol.
BTW Horneyred & Dino, the oldest living organism is a bacteria,found still alive in 2,000,000 year old salt deposits in the the old Soviet Union, now Russia. Not Siberia, despite common erronious data, there are no salt mines in Siberia.
Harry0
Full of useless information. lol.
Orgasminator
Hello funinandmike,
I couldn't agree with you more. Manners maketh the man and woman, that's just as true in the Chatroom as it is elsewhere. People who cannot be bothered to take the time to get known, and participate in both the chatroom and the various forums, don't deserve a reply.
It's been several months since I moderated in the Chatroom, but these problems had already started before I retired from active participation.
In a dance hall, similar questions would get the questioner a lot of black eyes, and not many visits or nights in bed with any lady asked such questions.
The fact that a woman may be wanting sexual relations with a man, does not entitle any man to treat her like a slut. Unfortunately many men do. Women are not, in my view, to be treated like sluts if they want occasional sexual encounters with a man, and I see no reason at all why they should be treated so.
Having been a Swinger for more than 40 years. My experience is, that I have always found the best way to a ladies bed, is to be curteous, kind and appreciative of her wishes. Ladies like to be appreciated, and accepting that, has worked for me. The fact that I have been invited back again and again, to their beds, is evidence that my method works, and that the current mode of approach by many newbies, is not at all acceptable.
The men who approach ladies in the way you describe, deserve to be ignored. Hopefully they will take the hint, and leave Swinging Heaven for good. I have met many female members of S/H, some of them I have bedded, others are just good friends whom, I may be fortunate enough, to bed in the future, but in all cases I do not push my luck. Getting to know them first is a pre-requisit for far better mutual sexual pleasure.
Harry0
I couldn't agree with you more. Manners maketh the man and woman, that's just as true in the Chatroom as it is elsewhere. People who cannot be bothered to take the time to get known, and participate in both the chatroom and the various forums, don't deserve a reply.
It's been several months since I moderated in the Chatroom, but these problems had already started before I retired from active participation.
In a dance hall, similar questions would get the questioner a lot of black eyes, and not many visits or nights in bed with any lady asked such questions.
The fact that a woman may be wanting sexual relations with a man, does not entitle any man to treat her like a slut. Unfortunately many men do. Women are not, in my view, to be treated like sluts if they want occasional sexual encounters with a man, and I see no reason at all why they should be treated so.
Having been a Swinger for more than 40 years. My experience is, that I have always found the best way to a ladies bed, is to be curteous, kind and appreciative of her wishes. Ladies like to be appreciated, and accepting that, has worked for me. The fact that I have been invited back again and again, to their beds, is evidence that my method works, and that the current mode of approach by many newbies, is not at all acceptable.
The men who approach ladies in the way you describe, deserve to be ignored. Hopefully they will take the hint, and leave Swinging Heaven for good. I have met many female members of S/H, some of them I have bedded, others are just good friends whom, I may be fortunate enough, to bed in the future, but in all cases I do not push my luck. Getting to know them first is a pre-requisit for far better mutual sexual pleasure.
Harry0
Orgasminator
Quote by harry0
Hello Burose,
Inattention from Husband 1 is easily rectified by simply installing Satisfactory Lover version 9.0. Only available upon application to the below named.
I personally install this, (preferably in absence of Husband 1.) It is available free of charge and comes complete with several free periferal programmes, such as Sensuous Massage ver., 8.0, Cunning Linguist ver. 5.4. Satisfaction 32.4 and After Sex, calm down preceedures Ver. 4.5.
All you have to do is PM me for the installation, this has to be re-booted several times a month. New applicants for this programme get continuous free maintenence for the first five years.
Harry0
Hello again Burose,
I hope you got Jags permission to use her old avitar. lol.
The revenge of upset Moderators has to be seen to be believed. lol.
Personally I always had a 'thing' for Miss Piggy.
Harry0
Orgasminator
Hello Burose,
Inattention from Husband 1 is easily rectified by simply installing Satisfactory Lover version 9.0. Only available upon application to the below named.
I personally install this, (preferably in absence of Husband 1.) It is available free of charge and comes complete with several free periferal programmes, such as Sensuous Massage ver., 8.0, Cunning Linguist ver. 5.4. Satisfaction 32.4 and After Sex, calm down preceedures Ver. 4.5.
All you have to do is PM me for the installation, this has to be re-booted several times a month. New applicants for this programme get continuous free maintenence for the first five years.
Harry0
Inattention from Husband 1 is easily rectified by simply installing Satisfactory Lover version 9.0. Only available upon application to the below named.
I personally install this, (preferably in absence of Husband 1.) It is available free of charge and comes complete with several free periferal programmes, such as Sensuous Massage ver., 8.0, Cunning Linguist ver. 5.4. Satisfaction 32.4 and After Sex, calm down preceedures Ver. 4.5.
All you have to do is PM me for the installation, this has to be re-booted several times a month. New applicants for this programme get continuous free maintenence for the first five years.
Harry0
Orgasminator
Quote by 8inches4u2
Hiya doesn't the title say it all. Bored an horny at what can i do any surgestions. keep them nice no matter how tempting. How many other people are in the same position?
xxx
Just a couple of suggestions,
A. Get a life. Posting a 'moan' isn't going to win you any friends.
B. Alter your postscript. A short one liner such as yours is not at all likely to attract anyone of either sex.
Harry0
Thought for the day.
Homosexuality is a way of widening the circle of your friends.
I don't know who wrote that, but I find it funny.
Orgasminator
Quote by the funk
ive also been told twice tonight i look like scott windsor hmmmmmmmm
Perhaps those two should have gone to Specsavers. LOL.
Getting drunk is not the best way of getting ladies to look upon you with any favour, even if they are hot and horny, the adverse effects of booze on certain parts of your anatomy are in the public domain.
Harry0
Orgasminator
I don't need anyone to tell me I'm getting old, but, a few things come to mind.
1. When you bend down to tie your shoelaces, you wonder if there is anything else you can do while your down there.
2. It takes you all night to do once, what you used to do all night.
3 You can remember when 'Swingers' made contact through underground newspapers and magazines, and you had to reply by letter to a Post Office Box number.
4. When you hear someone (usually a drunk) singing 'Lloyd George knows my father', and you realise your father really did know Lloyd George.
5. When you go to a Vintage Car Show, and realise you learnt to drive in one of the oldest cars there. :shock:
6. When your preference is for 'Older Women' and there aren't any women older than you any more. :taz:
7. You can remember the time when all females wore suspender belts and stockings. :P
8. You can remember when condoms were as thick walled as a bicycle tyre. :uhoh:
9. You accidently meet an old girlfriend, and find out she is a great grandmother. :(
10. When you walk past a Funeral Parlour and someone rushes out with a tape measure, eyes you up, and hands you a brochure. :cry:
Harry0
I love the girls that do,
I love the girls that don't,
I love the girls who say they will,
And then they say they won't.
But the girl I like most of all,
And I think you'll say I'm right,
Is the girl who says she never does,
But looks as if she might.
1. When you bend down to tie your shoelaces, you wonder if there is anything else you can do while your down there.
2. It takes you all night to do once, what you used to do all night.
3 You can remember when 'Swingers' made contact through underground newspapers and magazines, and you had to reply by letter to a Post Office Box number.
4. When you hear someone (usually a drunk) singing 'Lloyd George knows my father', and you realise your father really did know Lloyd George.
5. When you go to a Vintage Car Show, and realise you learnt to drive in one of the oldest cars there. :shock:
6. When your preference is for 'Older Women' and there aren't any women older than you any more. :taz:
7. You can remember the time when all females wore suspender belts and stockings. :P
8. You can remember when condoms were as thick walled as a bicycle tyre. :uhoh:
9. You accidently meet an old girlfriend, and find out she is a great grandmother. :(
10. When you walk past a Funeral Parlour and someone rushes out with a tape measure, eyes you up, and hands you a brochure. :cry:
Harry0
I love the girls that do,
I love the girls that don't,
I love the girls who say they will,
And then they say they won't.
But the girl I like most of all,
And I think you'll say I'm right,
Is the girl who says she never does,
But looks as if she might.
Orgasminator
Recently a man appeared at a Magistrates Court charged with being Drunk and Disorderly
the case having been adjourned from a previous date, so the accused could instruct his Solicitor to defend him.
Solicitor: - "Officer, will you give me your impression of the state my client was in at the time of his arrest".
Policeman: (With a very straight face) -" I don't do impressions ".
Court adjourned for 10 minutes to give the Magistrates and the rest of the court, time to stop laughing.
Harry0
the case having been adjourned from a previous date, so the accused could instruct his Solicitor to defend him.
Solicitor: - "Officer, will you give me your impression of the state my client was in at the time of his arrest".
Policeman: (With a very straight face) -" I don't do impressions ".
Court adjourned for 10 minutes to give the Magistrates and the rest of the court, time to stop laughing.
Harry0
Orgasminator
Happy Birthday Ian
Did you know when you get older your aging slows down? :shock:
E.G. When you were one year old, I was about 20 times your age. Now your about two thirds of my age, so it won't be long before your older than me. :thumbup:
Now just sit back and let :silly: pander to all your wishes. :bounce:
Harry0
Did you know when you get older your aging slows down? :shock:
E.G. When you were one year old, I was about 20 times your age. Now your about two thirds of my age, so it won't be long before your older than me. :thumbup:
Now just sit back and let :silly: pander to all your wishes.
:bounce: Harry0
Orgasminator
Quote by hornyhonda
hi everyone im a 23 yr old athletic male from bucks seeking fun with the opposite sex. Im into pleasing older women so if you fancy it get in touch. My msn address is not registered on the forum so your not able to post it on here and im from bucks. Ive just got out of a 3.5 year relationship so just looking for fun.
May see you soon ;)
Nick
It may be you haven't noticed, but most women on this site are older than you anyway
Harry0
Orgasminator
Hi ya Harry,
You are so subtle and gentle with the young, you really should be more direct hunni. Youth is so wasted on the young though isn't it?
Good morning Judy,
Perhaps your right, I must be mellowing with age. I fully agree with your Oscar Wilde quote. :thumbup:
I thought that I ought to leave the laser guided bomb to BlueXXX, she seems to be exceptionally good at demolishing the juveniles who come here. :scared:
I'm certain that after one of her withering posts he would be disappearing fast
Harry0
