Join the most popular community of UK swingers now
Login
harry0
Over 90 days ago
Straight Male, 82
0 miles · County Durham

Forum

Quote by fruity1976
Well I wont be getting my new pc for xmas as for the second time my order with Dell is fucked up!! Now Iknow it wasnt my fault I m so fucking angry a rheir incompetence the fucking fucking fucktards and I also just had to phone PC world as they have fucked up the delivery for my pc monitor for the other pc!??
Why the fuck cant people just do their jobs properly, I mean working for fuckoing Dell or Pc world can hardly be rocket science can it??
evil

Sorry to hear of your problem "fruity 1976"
My advice is go to your local computer shop and get them to build you one to your specification. I did that two years ago and the computer with DVD and CD-reader/writer, monitor, speakers, keyboard. 512 megs of RAM and a Pentium 2 processor and XP came ro a grand total of just under , A similar 'spec ' computer from Dell and many other suppliers was costing over twice that. It was built for me in just two days and came with a 12 month warrenty.
The other good thing about having it made locally is you can just take it back if it goes wrong and drop it on the counter. No packing it off in the mail or returning it to a distributor to send off either.
I hope you get everything sorted out soon.
Harry0
Casanova and Drunk of this Parish hump drinkies
As probably the oldest swinger around, perhaps I could offer a small suggestion based on my many years of experience. :violin:
No one ever, needs 'it' bad. What you need is something good, a subtle difference I know, but there are a lot of ladies around who also like, or need 'it' to be good for themselves too.
Harry0
Casanova and Drunk of this Parish.
hump drinkies
Heads up people
A new virus warning, watch what you open.
Hackers Hijack Christmas
Computer hackers have hijacked the spirit of Yuletide by introducing a new virus that masquerades as a Christmas card.
The Zafi.d worm appears as an attachment in the guise of Christmas card. Once it's opened an error message is displayed instead of a card.
The worm uses a Trojan horse program to open a back door that allows hackers to take remote control of infected machines. Zafi.d has been most prominent on the Continent with reports coming from Spain, Germany and Italy.
The virus sends itself to every email in the recipient's contacts folder and has the ability to do so in multiple languages - i.e. addresses ending in .es will be in Spanish.
A spokesman for AOL's anti-virus partner McAfee said: "If users think they may be infected and are unsure how to check their systems, they can download a tool from to scan their system and remove the virus if present."
''Despite its disguise, Zafi.d isn't much of a Christmas present,'' warns Graham Cluley, senior technology consultant for Sophos, a US anti-virus and anti-spam company.
''Users who open the attached file will trigger the virus into action, infecting their PC and potentially opening it up to hacker attack.
''Heartless hackers and virus writers can attack at any time of year, and every computer user should be on the lookout for unusual emails and be wary of ever opening any unsolicited file they are sent via email,'' adds Cluley.
Copied from AOL NEWS. .2004
Harry0
Casanova and Drunk of this Parish.
hump drinkies
Best Quote:-
From the lady in the cafe, who said to the waiter " I'll have a double portion of what she just ate"
From the scene where Meg Ryan simulated having an orgasm. From (i think) When Harry met Sally.
Harry0
Casanova and Drunk of this Parish. hump drinkies
One method I can recommend, but it's not for the faint hearted, I have found that a womans mouth containing a good volume of whiskey, it works wonders when she starts to give a man a 'blow job'. It does bring tears to your eyes, BUT, it invariably gives you an extra inch or three which comes in handy when you get down to the 'nitty gritty' later on. lol.
Harry0
Casanova and Drunk of this Parish.
hump drinkies
Here's one, just off the top of my head.
ORGANISM A very small orgasm
Harry0
Casanova and Drunk of this Parish. hump drinkies
Quote by Lil_Bunny
put their xmas decs up? or am I the last one? confused:
No decs up here (still in the cupboard) no cards written out, hardly any xmas prezzie shopping done and definately no clue what is happening xmas day :shock:
Organised dunno - me? hell no - chaos and every year is the bloody same.
Skint till friday too so do I make a last minute mad dash to the shops or what? bolt
Funny though the kids haven't said anything about the tree not being up, it's their school xmas parties tomorrow and I found out last night at 9pm I'm expected to make cheese sandwiches for 30 kids rolleyes

I never do Christmas at all, I don't believe in a God in any form whatsoever, and therefore see no reason to to celebrate anything. Anyway, 'Christmas' is just the old Roman festival of Mithras,(one of their gods), that was hi-jacked by the early Christians. It really is a bit of a shot in the dark anyway. Christ (if he existed at all) cannot be accurately placed in history within a period of eight years, never mind an accurate monthly date.
O/K, I'm a none believer. So, I don't see any reason to subscribe to a festival in which I have no belief at all. I am a scientist, I believe in facts. To be quite frank I cannot conceive of the afterlife, which is the basis of so many different religions. As far as I am concerned you are born, you live for a certain time, and then you die, and that's it.
Christmas is simply 'Humbug' as far as I am concerned, as are all the religious festivals practiced by all the other religions. If you are a believer, then I wish you the best of luck. Just count me out, please.
Many years ago I told my children that Christmas was something you either believed in, or did not believe in. I left it up to them, to decide what they wanted to believe. At that time, now some 35-40 years ago, kids didn't have the expectancies they seem to have today.
They never wanted for anything that was reasonable, and within my ability to provide
for them. I really do feel some sorrow for so many people these days who get themselves into serious debt, just to keep up with the local 'Jones's'
I may be a boring old 'Fart' but my credit card balance will read £000,00p when the monthly bill comes in sometime in January. I have no doubt that some people will have a heart attack when they receive theirs.
Harry0
Casanova and Drunk of this Parish. hump drinkies
The word 'Parish' being merely a word to describe my usual stomping ground.
Now donning my 'Battle Bowler' to avoid the 'incoming' shellfire. lol.
Quote by AndyS-NE
Who's BLUE???

You'll find out............. just make sure you've got plenty of lube wink
Alternatively, don't forget to wear your chain mail underwear. lol.
Actually, I met BlueXXX last year and a more delightful and pleasant person you couldn't wish to meet. However, I must admit I was sitting very firmly on my bottom at the time.
Harry0
Casanova and Drunk of this Parish. hump drinkies
I look just like me, like it or not. They say that God never makes the same mistake twice. lol.
However, one of my lady friends is the spitting image in looks, figure, and in voice of a certain Julie Andrews, and I am more than a little pissed off, that whenever we go out together, she gets approached for Autographs, Pictures, Photographs or requests for her to sing. etc.
It's not embarrassing for me, but she is married, and this could cause major problems for her.
So if anyone on this site sees us out together, By all means nod and say hello. A request for other things may get you a punch in the mouth.
Harry0
Casanova and Drunk of this Parish. hump drinkies
Oh Bugger, and I has to pass it up. Note to myself, Don't have a 'Chinky takeaway ' the night before, especially one from an untried shop. I've been sitting on the loo nearly all day because of it. Numb bum, pasty white face, cramp in my legs, not to mention being really pissed off because I couldn't go to Teesside in that state. My apologies to Helen and Marya.
Harry0
Casanova and Drunk of this Parish hump drinkies
(But not tonight)
Have a giggle.
A guy is browsing in a pet shop and sees a parrot sitting on a little
perch. But, it doesn't have any feet or legs. The guy says aloud, "Jeesh, I
wonde what happened to this Parrot?" The parrot says, "I was born this way. I'm
a defective parrot." "Holy crap," the guy replies. "You actually understood and answered me!" "I got every word," says the parrot. "I happen to be a highly intelligent, thoroughly educated bird." "Oh yeah?" the guy asks, "then answer this: How do you hang onto your perch without any feet?" "Well," the parrot says, "this is very embarrassing but since you asked, I wrap my weenie around this wooden bar like a little hook. You can't see it because of my feathers." "Wow," says the guy. "You really
can understand and speak English can't you?" "Actually, I speak both Spanish
and English, and I can converse with reasonable competence on almost any
topic: politics, religion, sports, physics, and philosophy. I'm especially good at ornithology. You really ought to buy me; I'd be a great companion." The guy looks at the $200 price tag. "Sorry, but I just can't afford that." "Pssssssst," says the parrot, "I'm defective, so the truth is, nobody wants me because I don't have any feet. You can probably get me for $20; just make the guy an offer!" The guy offers$20 and walks out with the parrot.
Weeks go by. The parrot is sensational. He has a great sense of humour,
he's interesting, he's a great pal, he understands everything, he
sympathizes, and he's insightful. The guy is delighted. One day the guy
comes home from work and the parrot goes, "psssssssssssst," and motions him
over with one wing. "I don't know if I should tell you this or not, but
it's about your wife and the postman." "What are you talking about?" asks
the guy. "When the postman delivered the mail today, your wife greeted him
at the door in a sheer black nightie and kissed him passionately."
"WHAT???" the guy asks incredulously. "THEN what happened?" "Well, then the postman
came into the house and began petting her all over," reported the parrot.
"Oh No!" he exclaims... "Then what?" "Then he lifted up the nightie, got
down on his knees and began to kiss her all over, starting with her breasts
and slowly going down...." "WELL," demands the frantic guy, "THEN WHAT
HAPPENED?" "Damned if I know. I got a hard-on and fell off my perch!"
Well I found it amusing.
Harry0
Casanova and Drunk of this Parish. hump drinkies
Hello EdinBB,
As one of the 'Oldies' on this site, I was probably involved with problems like these before you were born. So I can offer a little advice.
No man stays with his wife, 'because of the kids'. FACT.
He stays with her because he gets his meals cooked, his washing done, his house kept tidy, and maybe a bit of sex as well. FACT.
He doesn't leave her because. He would probably loose most of what he has, i.e. House, money and a female in his bed every night. He would also loose a large part of his income through the CSA, which would make life very difficult for him, and you, if he came to you on a permanent basis. FACT.
He is probably very happy, (despite what he may say about his home life to you) especially if he has a 'something on the side' as well, which to be honest, you are. FACT.
Even of he left his wife for you, could you ever be certain he wasn't cheating on you? I doubt it. If he really wants you, he will divorce his wife making a clean break, and then ask you to marry him.
My advice. Find someone single, it's a lot easier and a lot less hassle.
If he (your lover) is not willing to committ himself to you by divorcing her, then he isn't worth having, and he certainly doesn't love you, no matter what he says. FACT.
My own marriage broke up over 35 years ago through my own infidelity. So I do know what I am talking about. For many years afterwards, I specialised in seeing married women, I found that most of them were fairly easy to get into bed simply weren't getting 'enough' at home, so I supplied what was missing in their lives.
In a way you are doing the same thing, your supplying him with a 'bit on the side.'
Married men have a million excuses as to why they have to stay with their wives. Don't believe any of them. It's a game as old as mankind itself. In all honesty, all they want is a comfortable home with a little extra on the side.
Unfortunately that little extra on the side is you. FACT.
As I said above find someone single, If you find you love him, then get married. If your lucky your marriage will last. One thing I'm sure about though, your current married boyfriend won't leave his wife for you.
If you don't believe me, cut out the sex for a few weeks and see how long he stays around. I don't think it will be for long. Sorry, but that's life.
Harry0
Casanova, and Drunk of this Parish. Letcher of married women. Available to any ladies single or married who want a little 'fun' . hump drinkies
P.S. I'm really a nice fellow, honestly.
I started work at 15, I've had some jobs I liked, and others I hated. So........
I decided to retire at 55, and I now just do some Consultancy Work. I get to pick and choose what contracts I accept, and can lay down my own terms of employment. I work out of doors for some eight months of the year in some of the most beautiful countryside in England. I can only do my work in fine weather, so on wet days I stay at home, but still get paid for it. (It's in my Contract Terms).
It hasn't made me rich, or even moderately wealthy, but I have more than enough to get by on. (Well just) but I wouldn't swap this sort of work for the world..
Maybe next year I will put up my hourly rates and my travelling expenses. A little more profit might just help me get to a few more Munches and parties, and of course take a few more ladies out to play, not forgetting the increased contributions Gordon Brown will no doubt be demanding.
Bugger the 9.0 to 5.0 stint, or shift work, If you have a skill, a talent or knowledge in a particular field, work for yourself, it's a much happier life. Honestly.
Harry0
The Casanova and Drunk of this Parish. hump drinkies
Happiness is:- Her,me and anotherherall together in the same bed. It might not be every day or even every year, but when it does happen
I'm HAPPY. Wahey.....
Harry0
Casanova and Drunk of this Parish. hump drinkies
Quote by kernowguy
hi! like i said i will try anything at least once. i am willing to experiment with either sex. i dont have much experience but i am open minded to all suggestions. try me! wink

I think Twisted Sister and JudyTV may like to meet you, lol. However, the invitations will have to come from them.
Harry0
Casanova and Drunk of this Parish. hump drinkies
Quote by keefy
Since I was diagnosed with an illness, I have been unable to have sex. My wife loves sex and misses it terribly yet even though I have told I don't mind her finding sex with some one else, she won't as she doesn't want to be "unfaithful ".
Any ideas on how to convince her it would be Ok, she cries herself asleep most nights missing it.

Hello Keefy,
I would suggest the first thing you do is go and see your local GP and find out exactly what, the effects of your illness are. Is impotence one of the things that is the result of this illness?
It could well be that he may be able to offer something that can assist you, or perhaps refer you to a specialist. I know the NHS is running slowly, having had recent medical problems myself. However, doing nothing to help solve your problem isn't going to take you anywhere at all.
It may be possible that whatever you have is causing psycological problems, who knows unless you see your doctor.
Being disgnosed as having a nasty/ debilitating / long term medical problem, is no fun at all, as I well know from recent personal experience, and it can be a hell of a shock to your system.
Get on the phone, after you have read this 'post' and get an appointment with your GP today. Hopefully you will make a full recovery. If you get your 'Wedding Tackle' back into operating condition, Great. If not, then look around for possible alternatives to keep your wife happy.
NOW GET ON THE BLOODY PHONE.
Harry0
Casanova and Drunk of this Parish. hump drinkies
Just a few comments from me,
Why didn't they publish the full address. I'll have to look it up now.
I bet it's good for business there now, with all the free advertising. lol.
I'll bet next weeks Sherry Ration that none of the senior staff or the reporters of the 'Screws of the World' have an untarnished private life. It's a pity we couldn't investigate some of them, and publish our findings,
Harry0
Casanova and Drunk of this Parish hump drinkies
Quote by foxylady 123
Take it form me, you should not even think about the nympho unless you can live up to what she wants!!
sorry if its short and to the point but iif you do neither of you will be happy!!

Hello Foxylady 123,
I take your point, I'm a twice a day man myself, when I can get it. lol. However, now I am retired and still physically fit, I do have plenty of time on my hands. Who knows, with a case of Viagra I might manage four times a day. lol.
Joking aside, I will bear your point in mind.
Many thanks.
Harry0
Quote by Dawn_Mids
Hiya Harry kiss
I can't give you any decent advice, sorry but I can give you a hug if that helps

Take care
Dawn :silly:

Hello Dawn,
Many thanks for the hug, lol. I've only just got over the last one you gave me at the Midlands Munch.
Kindest regards to you, and a Pie for Ian.
Harry0
Many thanks to all of you who have replied, both on this Board and by PM. It looks like I have a lot of very hard thinking to do over the coming weeks.
I have to consider all your advice, but the ultimate decision is, unfortunately, mine. I just hope I can make the correct one.
Thanks again.
Harry0
I now know how Atlas felt, with the weight of the world on his shoulders.
Quote by little gem
I'm sorry HarryO, I have read and admired your posts in the past and hope to do in the future, so this is not a personal attack. Do you think splitting these women from their now husbands is a wise choice to make? It doesn't seem fair that they are leaving their husbands for you. Obviously being on the outside looking in is always different and I'm not judging you, just saying what I think and feel.
I'd be gutted if I knew that someone had left their wife for me because I had chosen them. If a person has willingly played around and left a life partner in pursuit of a bit of fun such as swinging brings, I'd be inclined to wonder if they would and could do it to me also. dunno I'd be very cautious about either as tempting as it may seem to have a partner there with you 24/7. I think only you can know these people well enough to weigh up the pros and cons...... :dunno:
Hope I didn't burst your bubble too much HarryO. Good luck with the decision.

Hello Little Gem,
In neither case was I the instigator of either of the failed relationships or marriages of these ladies. The husband of lady no.1 believes that sex is purely for procreation and once he had a child, then sex stopped. He didn't even kiss her after their marriage, stating that was only for 'Courting Couples'.
Lady no.2 has caught her husband being unfaithfull on more than one occasion, after only two years of marriage.
Fair enough, both have shared my bed on many occasions in years past, and both are very willing to do so again on a permanent basis. I cannot help having the feelings I have for either of them. I care for, or love them, both in different ways and I would be happy to spend my life with either of them, but, I don't want to hurt either or both of them. Hence my problem. Whoever said, Life's a bitch, and then you die, was more correct than he ever thought.
Harry0
Latterly Casanova and Drunk of this Parish. Now just the Drunk.
As many members of Swinging Heaven already know me, on a personal basis, or through my posts over the past few years, I am seeking a little advice. I have a BIG problem.
I am a single guy, in the more mature age group of swingers, as those who have met me already know. I have been quite happy just being a Swinger, but I now have a major decision to make, and I really need some advice.
I have two lady friends, both of whom want to leave their husbands and come to live with me.
I have known both for 30 years or so.
One was already married when I met her, and we have been occasional lovers 'on and off' (Excuse the pun) for thirty years. She is kind, compliant and willing to do most things, both, in and out of bed for me. She is house proud, neat and tidy but a year older than me.
The second lady is thirteen years younger than me, and we lived together for a couple of years, long ago. She was 19 then, I was 31. She is very adventurous in bed and there is nothing, and I mean nothing, she wouldn't do to please me. But she likes sex at least four times a day. She recently found out where I lived and got in touch with me again, and I have found that the old feelings I had for her, were as strong as ever, as are hers for me.
In my own way, I do love them both, but I'm stuck as to what to do. They both know about each other, I have always been honest as to my previous relationships, but neither would be willing to share me in a permanent threesome. (Boy, do I wish they would....... if I had the stamina).
Having been divorced for some 25 or more years, and being footloose and fancy free so to speak for all that time, I have had, an awful lot of fun. But I have found that 'fun' and 'love' are two entirely different things.
I must admit, that I now rather like the idea of having someone in my bed every night to cuddle up to after having made love or not. But, who do I choose? I am perfectly willing to give up 'Swinging' in return for a more stable sexual and loving relationship. My problem is, I can't make up my mind as to which one to choose.
They are both aware of my medical condition, which may mean I don't have a lot of years of life ahead of me (It's not a communicable disease) yet both are very willing to share these years with me. The choice is very, very difficult.
I really would appreciate some sensible advice please.
Harry0
Casanova and Drunk of this Parish hump drinkies
Quote by north-east-dogging
hi
anyone going to the north east Belsay location tonight?
smile

That all depends on whether your a single bloke looking for fun, or a couple looking for fun.
If your the latter please PM me as to what time you will be there.
Harry0
Casanova and Drunk of this Parish. hump drinkies
Quote by Silk and Big G
THIRTY THREE
Be polite !!!

Why is it that she the only one ever to turn up at my Dogging sites. Huh.
Harry0
Casanova and Drunk of this Parish. hump drinkies
It's just a thought, but if we declared Swinging Heaven areligious group, then we would have quite a bit protection under the Laws of the UK.
Your not allowed to persecute, bait, complain about Religious Minorities etc, etc.
I wonder if Mark (may the sun always shine upon him) would be willing to be High Priest,
The various male Moderators could be lesser priests and the female Moderators could become the equivilent of Vestal Virgins (even if slightly removed from the former name status).
BlueXXX could become the Senior Disciplinarian for transgressors etc.
When you next receive your Census Forms you could fill in the 'Religion Box' with 'The Temple of Swinging Heaven'
If thousands of people all did it, we might outrank the Jedi Knights, who placed very highly in the last Census.
As I said above it's just a thought. lol.
Harry0
Casanova and Drunk of this Parish. hump drinkies
Quote by westerross
I am so glad you posted that as I missed it the first time around.
lol :lol: :lol: :lol: :lol: :lol: :lol: :lol: :lol: :lol: :lol: :lol: :lol:
Dave_Notts

Me too. Thanks. Nice to see you again Harry0.
Thanks Tune, I dont get in as much as I used to.
Aghhh. Let me rephrase that, I don't get in here as much as I used to.
I just call in when passing, too much to do, loose ends to tidy up, etc.
I won't be in later today either, as I am keeping fit by practicing my horizontal gymnastics on an very accomodating lady this afternoon and during the evening as well.
The human mind is a strange thing, I forget the names of people I have known for years, and all sorts of other things, but I never loose my memory about how to please a lady.
Definition of Lady = A woman who never swears, unless it slips out. lol.
Harry0
Casanova and Drunk of this Parish. hump drinkies
Quote by lil_miz_naughty_0204
Tha was posted the other day im afraid

Oh, bugger,
Sorry folks I must have missed it.
Harry0
I thought this was brilliant and had to share it.
THE BATTLE OF TRAFALGAR - 2004 version.
Nelson: "Order the signal, Hardy."
Hardy: "Aye, aye sir."
Nelson: "Hold on, that's not what I dictated to the signal officer.
What's the meaning of this?"
Hardy: "Sorry sir?"
Nelson (reading aloud): "England expects every person to do his duty,
regardless of race, gender, sexual orientation, religious persuasion
or disability". "What gobbledygook is this?"
Hardy: "Admiralty policy, I'm afraid, sir. We're an equal
opportunities employer now. We had the devil's own job getting
'England' past the censors, lest it be considered racist."
Nelson: "Gadzooks, Hardy. Hand me my pipe and tobacco."
Hardy: "Sorry sir. All naval vessels have been designated smoke-free
working environments."
Nelson: "In that case, break open the rum ration. Let us splice the
main brace to steel the men before battle."
Hardy: "The rum ration has been abolished, Admiral. Its part of the
Government's policy on binge drinking."
Nelson: "Good heavens, Hardy. I suppose we'd better get on with it.
Full speed ahead."
Hardy: "I think you'll find that there's a 4 knot speed limit in this
stretch of water."
Nelson: "Damn it man! We are on the eve of the greatest sea battle in
history. We must advance with all dispatch. Report from the crow's
nest, please."
Hardy: "That won't be possible, sir."
Nelson: "What?"
Hardy: "Health and safety have closed the crow's nest, sir. No
harness. And they said that rope ladder doesn't meet regulations. They won't let
anyone up there until a proper scaffolding can be erected."
Nelson: "Then get me the ship's carpenter without delay, Hardy."
Hardy: "He's busy knocking up a wheelchair access to the fo'c'sle
Admiral."
Nelson: "Wheelchair access? I've never heard anything so absurd."
Hardy: "Health and safety again, sir. We have to provide a
barrier-free environment for the differently abled."
Nelson: "Differently abled? I've only one arm and one eye and I refuse
even to hear mention of the word. I didn't rise to the rank of admiral
by playing the disability card."
Hardy: "Actually, sir, you did. The Royal Navy is under-represented in
the areas of visual impairment and limb deficiency."
Nelson: "Whatever next? Give me full sail. The salt spray beckons."
Hardy: "A couple of problems there too, sir. Health and safety won't
let the crew up the rigging without crash helmets. And they don't want
anyone breathing in too much salt - haven't you seen the adverts?"
Nelson: "I've never heard such infamy. Break out the cannon and tell
the men to stand by to engage the enemy."
Hardy: "The men are a bit worried about shooting at anyone, Admiral."
Nelson: "What? This is mutiny."
Hardy: "It's not that, sir. It's just that they're afraid of being
charged with murder if they actually kill anyone. There's a couple of
legal aid lawyers on board, watching everyone like hawks."
Nelson: "Then how are we to sink the Frenchies and the Spanish?"
Hardy: "Actually, sir, we're not."
Nelson: "We're not?"
Hardy: "No, sir. The Frenchies and the Spanish are our European
partners now. According to the Common Fisheries Policy, we shouldn't
even be in this stretch of water. We could get hit with a claim for
compensation."
Nelson: "But you must hate a Frenchman as you hate the devil."
Hardy: "I wouldn't let the ship's diversity co-coordinator hear you
saying that sir. You'll be up on disciplinary."
Nelson: "You must consider every man an enemy who speaks ill of your
King."
Hardy: "Not any more, sir. We must be inclusive in this multicultural
age. Now put on your Kevlar vest; it's the rules."
Nelson: "Don't tell me - health and safety. Whatever happened to rum,
sodomy and the lash?"
Hardy: "As I explained, sir, rum is off the menu! And there's a ban on corporal punishment."
Nelson: "What about sodomy?"
Hardy: "I believe it's to be encouraged, sir."
Nelson: "In that case ...kiss me, Hardy."
Well worth a chuckle. It's a pity it's so true these days.
Harry0
Casanove and Drunk of this Parish. hump drinkies
Quote by neilinleeds
you know when your mouse stops working . . . .
and you have to spend an hour or two using the keyboard to do mousey stuff . . . .
and you finally decide to reinstall windows and see if it's a driver problem . . . .
well alway remember to check if the bottom of your mouse has fallen out. maybe it's down the back of the chest of drawers! dunno
:doh: :doh: :doh:
that's never happened to me oh no! redface
what a numptie! surprisedops:
rotflmao
how long has it taken me to get this post up? try 2 hours! :rotflmao:
n x x x ;)

I would suggest before you do anything else, ask yourself 'When did I last clean my mouse' :idea:
If the answer is never or not for 6 months, I would suggest your problem lies there.
To clean a mouse turn it over, around the rolling ball there is a circular hatch. turn it 1/4 turn until it comes loose. Clean the ball in rubbing alcohol and then the two long rollers and the narrow roller with a Qtip which is also moistened in rubbing alcohol, make sure all the fluff is removed and reassemble.
Don't be tempted to use Gin instrad of rubbing alcohol, it makes everything sticky as it dries, and will put you mouse out of operation permanently.
A tip for the ladies, A mouse has only one ball, don't spend half the night looking for the other one. lol. rolleyes
Harry0
Casanova and Drunk of this Parish. hump drinkies