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heaysy

Over 90 days ago

Bisexual Male, 43

0 miles · Nottinghamshire

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28 Jun 2005

Quote by fabio grooverider

7. Q. If you were to spell out numbers, how far would you have to go until you could find the letter a ?
A. One thousand.

okay i am going to dispute this... smile

smile

smile

isn't the answer 101????
One hundred AND one.....
well im fea glasga so it would be 1 as we say it wan well the neds oot side dea :P
(not gonna admit wich o'us this is as im noo that daft ye ken :P)
also he only said numbers not which language so i think 4 in italian (quattro) would be first but i dont know enough languages to be cirtain ....
realises he's just put his smart arse hat on again and bolts before u recognise him
bolt

bolt

28 Jun 2005

1) yes in a way tho id say they narrowed then rebroadened
2) most definitly coz im becoming less shy about things .. though i still think im going to die of embaresment at the start of every meet biggrin

biggrin

3) have to say no coz once apon a time not so long ago i wouldnt have spoken to men for friendship purposes let alone to satisfy bi tendances and only really had female friends/ encounters
heaysy
1) yes
2) yes coz thers so much fun to be had biggrin

biggrin

3) no coz i didnt look at fems as for mor than friends and now look at men thinking hmm thier nice i wonder if matt fancies them too ;)
crystal

28 Jun 2005

hmm daftest question ive been asked was when i was about 12 and someone ran into the side of me on my bike i picked up the bike help the lass to her feet asked if she was ok and she was just winded , proceded to walk my bike round to my next class locked it up with ppl looking at me strangly. i then stood in line chatting to my best mate who couldnt think of a thing to say for about 5 minutes untill the teacher walked up and asked me
" do you realise that you have a cut on your head and your bleeding all over my hall young man??? and would you like to be excused to the med center?"
to which i answered
" well do u think i would be standing here if i knew? and what the hell do you think clear the way and call for the ambulance"
id felt the wetness but just thought i was sweating coz of shock at nearlly running someone over on my bike and that it was a hot day :P
matt

28 Jun 2005

very wise and have to say wish someone had said them to me when i was younger smile

smile

matt

28 Jun 2005

put on ur sexiest udierware , then ur every day cloths over the top and make sure he knows what u have on then just go about the day as normal occationally talking dirty to him with the odd flash of thong or what ever (preferably somewhere with to many ppl for him to do much about) then head for the pub and then a club for the evening , then when you get home turn round and say u are to tired for sex and head to bed and sleep :twisted:
hope that is a good enough punishment biggrin

biggrin

..btw i surgest u fuck his brains out the next morning before u get up coz he might just be very put out about the evening before and not doing anything untill the next night can cause a bugger off i dont get it when i want it so why the hell should u response
crystal

28 Jun 2005

id have to agree with it being a myth and so does matt coz c'mon its silly to think a size ten or 12 foot would have a 10 or 12 inch cock :P
ok matts just put his smart ass hat on and come back saying there may be a way its right :P here his idea
if you lay your hand on top of ur foot with the heel of ur palm on the front of ur ankle and lay it down the higest point then the tip of ur middle finger just about matches to the tip of ur big toe give or take a cm now when he did the check for the thread about siz of hands he was about a cm short of dick to match hand and now the top of his foot is the same shy of his hand ...so maybe it isnt a myth
ok blokes test it this way for us and see what u come up with biggrin

biggrin

if ur not sure what im blabering about say so and we'll email u some pics explaining even if it feels silly for all lol
crystal

28 Jun 2005

well i would like everyone to know that we dont want a big one to join us coz matt is fairly average at just coming onto 61/2 inches and he is more than big enough for me..by more than big enough i mean it hurts when he pushes too deep... so b4 all u guys get put off by not being vwe dont worry a fair few of us lassies dont want a huge one :P
oh and to quote the first lass i shared matt with (his bro's ex) ... jesus christ ur brothers and inch longer but by god u can use it better ...at which point matt burst into tears coz we hadnt let him rest for almost 13 hours and he just knew at that point he was going to be at it for longer still :twisted: we let him rest eventually tho after a couple more hours evil

evil

crystal

28 Jun 2005

great add

smile

) if it wasnt for the fact ur in newcastle we would respond smile

smile

matt
oh and the fact i hate ppl being talller than me ..silly i know it just hurts my neck :P

27 Jun 2005

Quote by midlandsman1970
DP is one in each in my book, the other is double anal (DA) or double vaginal (DV).

hmm simple in its complexity that one biggrin

biggrin

id have to say i dont know for certain as i allways though it was either , but then again theres only one person in any cituation that it matters what they think DP is and thats the fem involved :P
matt

27 Jun 2005

erm id tell ya but then id have to kill ya :P ..
and if i tell u id have to killu quick because id be killed by someone sitting next to me
heaysy

27 Jun 2005

Quote by Nicola&Alan
what about disclosure scotland, i know your not up here but dont you have something like that down there, where the information is available for a fee?

thats what i was trying to say badly , tho as far as i know disclosure can only be used by certain employers and by the offender(for want of a better word) going into the police station , again only know that coz of the above her sis tried to say she was ck to get my detail the copper on duty arrested her for it ..mind u thats coz i happen to know the copper((whistles innocently and try to not to look guilty hehe))
but when he told me about it once i finished pmsl he then went on to say that everything on the system is covered by both the data protection act and the rehabiltaion of offenders act and only employers when the applicant signs a form for a disclosure where the person may be working with the elderly , children or the infirm , may request that information
jeepers i know to much about this dont i *blush* well not gonna lie i was a bad boy a few times and dont care what anyone thinks coz now im only bad in a good way smile

smile

matt

26 Jun 2005

Quote by longhandle8
lightening the convo a tad, did you hear about the guy who tattoed a fish on his cock because his catholic wife wouldn't eat meat on a Friday.......:shock: :twisted:

pmsl

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26 Jun 2005

nope there is no way of getting to check on him without him going to the police station with him and asking for a copy of his record which can take up to 2 weeks to arrive , only know this coz her familly started saying i had commited something that frankly made me sick and had too prove otherwise to my nieghbors
matt

26 Jun 2005

only rexognised one pic on here so far and refused to send a hi no matter how much crystal asked coz it was one of the younger ladies who used to work in the childrens hom i lived in when i was younger ..and i refused for the worst reason ..coz i didnt want to spoil my school boy crush lol
matt

26 Jun 2005

matt
erm cant i just vote for everybody mmm :twisted:
crystal
as soon as i get some decent pics we'll get someone to make one for me ..i hope ;)

26 Jun 2005

ive heard of it and tested it when i was abour 16 seemed to be true then , and havnt checked since and dont want to cos i dont need to im not that selve consious ..much ..*glances at the ruler on the table" ..erm honest im not biggrin

biggrin

then again i dont think it really holds tru met a black guy the other day had really small hands but dear god he was huge down there , crytsal ended up asking him to leave coz he was just toooo big for her *shudders* never thought id see the day
heaysy

26 Jun 2005

Quote by naughtynymphos1
also re-directs spunk to your bladder instead of out of your cock.

no forgive me as i don't have a cock so i'm not really up on this subject but that can't be safe can it?
erm if it isnt safe i musta done some serious damage over the years hehe been doing that since i was 13 just to save the cleen up if caught when comming :P

Quote by bluetvr
i can make a wank last a goo half hour

hehe lucky u no wonder it was easier to catch me than it should have been ... i can jerk like the mad hatter for an hour and end up giving up somtimes .... erm maybe i should start doing it less :P
*starts whistling blink 182-"i gave up wanking this morning"**
then again maybe not ;) she would kill me if i did coz she wouldnt get a minutes peace :P
heaysy

26 Jun 2005

"raises a glass and say rest in peace and see you soon"
crystal

26 Jun 2005

ok i dont have much to add here as i think its allready been nailed down that religeon and sex are each persons own business , what i would like to comment one if this idea that a person who is strong on religionl who also swings is a hypocrite (ok so no-ones said that yet but thats how it reads)
well im coming from the side that hasnt been admited to im an agnostic and proud to be and yet i still follow the ten commandments yes even the thou shalt not take any god over me ..well i dont but he didnt say i had to follow him either hehe
onto the no adultary ..he said dont TAKE not dont make out with when her hubby says go for it :P
ok now ive rambled on for a little while i might add im going to back cisco on this one , as i know a lot of catholics and like all good agnostics i have great philisophical debates with the local priest even nearlly had him hanging up his cassock and anyone who thinks a catholic would dare ask for his penance before having paid thier dept is just wrong and at that the pennance is for the soul and thats all not to pay a debt to god but to settle your own guilt
heaysy

25 Jun 2005

never had ck do that to me tho she seems to like jumping on me when im asleep and having a quickie ..without waking me that is ;)
but aparently there have been 3 occations where i have woken her up with *playing* with her and slowley gone all the way (once with me performing oral) for about 2 hours before i stop for no reason without orgasm and she loved it coz i didnt wake through anything and knew nothing about it
heaysy

24 Jun 2005

Quote by tallnhairy
Aww, shame it a fake... well done on purpose ;) Still very funny...
Edit: Here is the article, it was sold in Australia for real

first off does the kettle come with piccy taker ..
secondly thx for the link best ive read in ages some of the stories had me psml on that site biggrin

biggrin

..or maybe its just my dutch courage making me laught at anything ;) as me and crystal are going to find a field with lots of stars to lay naked under later this evening biggrin

biggrin

heaysy

24 Jun 2005

Quote by Aldeway

lol

So is that meant to be a swoon or just a drunk M&M? lol

lol

pmsl at dunk m&m
:evil2:
heaysy

24 Jun 2005

Quote by Ceryndrion
it does depend on the bloke I guess..
I hate having to shave, so I tend to have a bit of stubble, along with my goatee and tash, though I do occassionally consider going clean shaven again.. I'm not sure which I prefer, there's two pics in my ad, one clean shaven, one not, so you decide.

id say not shaven ...allthough a bit less beetroot in your diet might be a good idea too either that or ur cam was playing up :P
heaysy

24 Jun 2005

its simple hun ..find the closest single male off here and tell him to head over and not to forget to buy some cigs for you .. after all your allready dressed for company :P
heaysy

24 Jun 2005

:laughabove: :laughabove: :laughabove: :laughabove: :laughabove: :laughabove:

24 Jun 2005

edit ... sorry ppl its time for my poems to go back in the box untill i know more about the new owners

24 Jun 2005

Quote by Happy Cats
i have quite a funny story actually lol
One summer afternonn me and the hubbie was walking home from where ever we had been and was having a bit of a bust up and us being us being out in the open made no odds lol anyway as we was passing a nursing home someone inside must have heard me screaming at him in the street and called the police, well right or wrong being the woman i was auto the victim here and when the cop car pulled up they asked me if i was ok etc so i told them this guy had been stalking me for some time now and was following me and wouldn't leave me alone, to which they cuffed, slung him in the car and took him to the cop shop

Is this your current husband?
If so, fair play to him, I dont think I would have forgiven that!
wink

wink

ohh i dunno maybe thier were some nice wpc's at the station who took pitty and by the time he got home he was to tired to argue ..
my best finisher..hmmm... well that would be * kuck off im upgrading to a chimp for a more inteligent convosation* or maybe just *what was that dear i could hear you 2 secs ill get the dog to translate from high pitched *

24 Jun 2005

me i dont use a map or sat nav , i let crystal worry and use the road signs :P and then when i get to roughtly where im going i take the scenic route and then my way about the town while searching biggrin

biggrin

24 Jun 2005

Quote by Jason H
Myself and my friend want to have an orgy with an older girl. we want one who willl take 2 in the pussy at the same time, 2 in the mouth as Vix did beautifuly and DP. Is Silk Busty Babe or Vix up for it?

not sure its ment to be a wind up so ill try and polish it for him as im feeling generous ..
hi there myself and a friend were wondering if there are any mature ladies around who would like 2 men to play with , what we would really love to do with a willing fem who is up for it is to both enter her pussy together or just a double penetration , a double blowjob would be great too like vix did beutifully , also just to say who wouldnt need to ask and could just cum and get us as we would love them too would you be willing silk, busty babe or vix? letme know what u think please...
there we go my good deed for the day still doesnt sound much better but the bluntness is gone and maybe ill have saved his teeth , might have even helped if you had given some of ur own details jason ..even if it was only ur friends screen name and both your ages to avoid the inevitable here comes the school boys bit
heaysy redface

redface

24 Jun 2005

thats ok dam , send me and ck the pic and we'll post it for u :twisted:
hmm maybe i should have said ill show u ours if u show us urs when making sure there was a pic of ck on the add for u to perv over .. :doh:
hehe then again maybe not *Grins*
heaysy :giggle: