Yeah - theoretically it is discrimination but without those restrictions it wouldn't have worked the way it has. Women who could never even look at sexy lingerie in a department store let alone log on to SH have been given the opportunity to get hold of vibrators and crap, ill-fitting basques. I hate Anne Summers parties but still think they're a great thing.
Jezzay.
My one and only was with an established group of men who knew exactly how to behave and what to do. I think I was standing in for the lady around whom it normally revolves. I wrote this email to a friend immedieately after. And it's all true. Only the names have been changed to protect the guilty.
It was late morning. I was deep in professional discussion with three (male) colleagues. "Dring dring " .."Yes she's here. I'll hand you over. Who shall I say is calling? Jez, it's David." "Thanks. Hi David." "Hi. Are you still OK for this afternoon? I think I have 5 men." "That sounds rather a lot. But yes. Matthew is picking me up at quarter to one. See you later.... I still think my solution will work."
At the hotel David, a teacher in a local comprehensive, is stressed out, over-concerned I think with the hotel's take on our activities. "You are my sister from Birmingham, right, and need the room early to meet with these other people." Three of us go to the room which makes David happy but the maid wants to hoover. "No it's all right. It's fine. This is my sister from Birmingham. There will be some other men later." I think this is definitely too much information for the maid. "This is for you" says David and gives me a box of chocolates. I am strangely touched. (I am more strangely touched later on!) The men arrive. One is new to the group but as he enters Matthew says "Yo Richard. How are you? It's OK. This won't go outside these four walls." Richard says very little. Two more men have arrived and are in the car park. David opens the window and waves two bi-coloured flags at them in a variety of positions. Well I'm sure he would have done in the days before the mobile phone. There are quiet discussions, agreements. I can do this.
And so I do. I start with David and Matthew trying hard to ignore the light buzz of mundane conversation continuing in the background, vaguely aware of these other men watching, appraising, undressing. I just hope they won't start discussing the plight of Newcastle United or anything else I would find seriously distracting. But soon I am out of it. This is so delicious. Gradually Mr Chips invites the rest of the group to join in and every erogenous zone I possess is being paid attention to. I soon have no idea whose wotsit is where and care less. Mr Chips orchestrates the procedure quietly - "You could move in now - Perhaps you could try hands and knees." I see a man extraordinarily competent in the construction of flat-pack furniture. I am having so much fun. Bibbety-beep bibbety-beep. "What is that!" "A mobile." "Not mine." "Who's left their mobile on?" Mr Chips is demanding an answer and suddenly realises it's his and within milliseconds, being reasonably bright, realises he has a problem as his member is a reasonably long way down my throat. "If somebody could just...."
We reach the penetrative stage and I realise I have a dilemma. I want to come but it's complicated. When? How do I decide? Matthew. He has been my faithful guide. But it doesn't happen. Bob, the cuddly one in the woolly jumper who makes me laugh. That's the one. It seems we come together - words can't describe... But as we subside into post-coital ecstasy we both overhear "Did you flush yours down the toilet?" and I collapse into post-coital giggles instead. Only one to go. People are gathering themselves, dressing. Someone says it's a nice way to spend lunchtime and Woolly Jumper says "Beats a sandwich." This isn't helping me. Look, I'm still going here! "Got much work on at the moment?" "Yes, it's good. I've been given this package that works with Excel..." but I stay true to course. All shall be satisfied. Mr Chips : "Do you have a problem there Richard? You might like to try..." Richard and I are trying very very hard but there is a knock at the door. "Yes?". "I need to deliver your new Yellow Pages." No, it's hopeless. I totally lose it. It is impossible to blow anything when you are prostrate with laughter as I discovered years ago dueting on clarinet with my Mum on piano.
It is over. I have had so much fun. I walk out into the real world feeling surprisingly ordinary, take the bus home and read the evening paper, eating chocolates.
Jezzay
No, he's right. They are out there. Here, even. I'm in the wrong place to take advantage of this gentleman's arrangements but it it is really difficult for a single lady who wants to meet a few men - just men - to find an opportunity.
We get a hundred offers from single males who will 'bring a mate' (yeah right). And we can attach ourselves to a couple. But the gang bang? Few and far between. I've been on SH and another site for a while now and have had one - count it - encounter of that nature outside clubs. One.
Jezzay
Damn. And he was thinking of coming to the Norwich/Yarmouth Munch.
You see, not many people come to East Anglia. Not many people can FIND East Anglia.
Jo.
Hah fooled you! I'm not genuine at all. I'm a reporter from the Sun.
Jezzay
PS. Damn. Nearly got away with it but I used a three-syllable word. Bugger.
And here's one more Mr Debs. As real as can be. Honest. Ask anyone.
Jezzay.
PS Meet me at the Munch too.
Hi there,
It's a great idea and we have discussed it before. I haven't found out how to link to a thread so can only suggest you do a search for "Norwich" in the Let's Meet Up forum.
There always seem to be a few of us interested but somehow none of us have actually found the impetus to really get it going. Ain't that right Flapjack Boy? S'pose that's Narrfollk people for you. (Though I'm actually a Geordie in disguise.)
I'm a single lady happy to help you set anything up. I have quite a few PMs from people - well OK, men - willing to travel. And I know a couple of couples too.
Jezzay
In fairness there's probably a bit missing which I can't remember but was probably sort of " Two lesbians were having a bath together and one said to the other 'Where's the soap' and the other said 'Yes, it does, doesn't it.'"
Now pretend you didn't read it but you heard it. Has this helped? Why am I doing this - I must be pissed. It was always a crap joke.
Jezzay
Hi WBB - how are you?
I think we're right to try and reply but I had a nasty moment, not on this site I hasten to add. On AFF. I got a standard "You must be gagging for a young guy - I can..." etc etc message, written in text and I replied in the constructive SH manner saying No thank you, but here are ways you can improve your approach. Big mistake. I got a horrible reply saying "I know where you live, bitch - watch your back" etc etc. I reported him and his account was closed off immediately but it left a bad taste.
I still try and reply, though, and will continue to.
Jezzay.
Happened to me twice in one week earlier this year and I'm one of those 'single women' who are so rare and precious, apparently. You feel SO-O-O-O-O pratty sitting in a pub looking expectant.
But I think it isn't always time-wasters but can be people who had every intention of going through with it but bottled it at the last minute. But I still don't understand why they can't admit to that and let you know. A text would suffice.
It put me off for a long time. I'm still put off to be honest. So I agree with the others the parties and Munches are safer.
Jezzay
I'm afraid you don't have to 'have something wrong' to not be able to have sex for an unknown period. You just have to be single (and not have discovered SH!) It's a bit like de-toxing I suppose. One day at a time. Re-assuring yourself 'You WILL have sex again one day, Cinderella'.
AND......... just think how great it's going to be when you start again. :thrilled:
Jezzay
If I'm honest, Fruity, I now feel a little pee'd off. In replying to you in an honest and hopefully supportive way I revealed a bit of myself to everyone who reads the posts. Then I see your avatar and realise you were taking the p* cos you clearly have great tits and know it.
Then I read your subsequent posts and realise you're just having a laugh.
Please don't take advantage of us when you feel like a bit of an ego-boost.
Jezzay
No - no - no - no- no - no don't worry. Mine have never ever looked skyward. Big when I was in my teens - got smaller but never perked up. Was I ever envious of those little upturned things?!
And then one day, quite late in life, a charming prince said very nice things about them. And there have been endorsements since. And I never looked back (even though they still looked down!).
I am certain there are aspects of your mammary glands which drive men wild though they've never bothered to tell you. Just have confidence and go for it. Men like tits. Full stop.
Jezzay.
Well. I copy-and-pasted (copied-and-pasted?) but it didn't work so I shall in future keep an eye out for the 'codey looking stuff'.
Thanks.
OK Ice Pie and Angel Chat - you both dit it. How did you do it?
Jez
OK I have serious problems here:
1. I scored Love with which I would very much like to concur but which is actually bollocks.
2. How the F did you manage to copy the picture and everything into your replies? It was so cool - I want to do it too.
Jezzay.
Excellent club!.....er............. nice stack of clean towels, I must say!
Very impressed!
