I got back today from a fabulous weekend at WOMAD, the world music festival at Reading. The sun shone, the music was absolutely fantastic and the people wonderfully friendly and tolerant. I enjoyed it... quite a lot. Why not 'Totally'? Because although I travelled down with a mate I was mostly on my own and just plain didn't want to be. On Saturday in the course of two hours I managed to position myself, at various sound stages, near five canoudling couples, floating on wine, herbal errmm... thingies and fine music. And I wanted to be a canoodler too.
Every so often a fine male speciman would be in the vicinity and I would perk up a bit. Then the bird woud turn up and I would go 'Oh bugger' again.
It got in the way of my enjoyment. What's my problem? Is it shared? How can I stop it happening and learn to be content on my own?
Jezzay.
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jezzay
Over 90 days ago
Straight Female, 76
Forum
I went to work late this morning and as a result caught a superb program on Radio 4. Joan Bakewell is considering the 8 deadly sins. (I'll come back to that 8.) This morning was LUST and these wonderful intellectuals including an ex-nun quite simply expressed the whole Swinging Heaven philosphy. They talked about giving and getting pleasure, the history and folly of prudishness, oh, loads of great stuff. And concluded unanimously that Lust is not a Sin. Catch the replay on before it goes. It's called Midsummer Sins.
Oh yes - the eighth sin? Liisteners are invited to nominate one which will be discussed in the final program. Now how about that for a SH thread!
Jezzay
Oh yes - the eighth sin? Liisteners are invited to nominate one which will be discussed in the final program. Now how about that for a SH thread!
Jezzay
A fascinating thread. I'm just grabbing a moment to say two things :
Yes I believe you can be seen as a single entity. I recently met a couple and felt the extraordinary feeling of being drawn to them as a 'them', if you see what I mean. All of my life I've only had 'crushes' on blokes. Now I know it can be different. And as for being friends afterwards - they later stopped in their car to allow me to cross a roundabout on my bicycle!!! And have got in touch. Hi guys.
In defence of the single guys - no, they are absolutely not all to be avoided. I have met some lovely single men through the 'lifestyle' who look after me and treat me more courteously than many of my old boyfriends. (And husbands!) They don't disappear straight after but continue contact and show a genuine interest in my life. Hi guys.
Jezzay
Yes I believe you can be seen as a single entity. I recently met a couple and felt the extraordinary feeling of being drawn to them as a 'them', if you see what I mean. All of my life I've only had 'crushes' on blokes. Now I know it can be different. And as for being friends afterwards - they later stopped in their car to allow me to cross a roundabout on my bicycle!!! And have got in touch. Hi guys.
In defence of the single guys - no, they are absolutely not all to be avoided. I have met some lovely single men through the 'lifestyle' who look after me and treat me more courteously than many of my old boyfriends. (And husbands!) They don't disappear straight after but continue contact and show a genuine interest in my life. Hi guys.
Jezzay
Oh dear - it looks like I'll have to ask you to cancel my vote for 14th August as a friend I met during my year's travelling is coming to stay with me over that period. Yes, I could bring her - she is young, lovely, liberated and Dutch but I'm not sure how strange she would find it. So please, to be safe, count me out.
Bugger!
Jezzay
Bugger!
Jezzay
Quote by the pup
we already have our quota of single men. We're looking to host people in total and would like those numbers to consist of -12 couples, c.6-7 single women and c.5 males. Essentially the 'no single men' line is to discourage an overflow in my mailbox, and is still a regulation!!!!
Enjoy
The Pup
Ah I see!!! :idea: It all makes perfect sense now. In that case I rather think I'd like to come please. I'll PM you a bit more about me.
Jezzay
Hi Pup,
I noticed your party and it might be fun for Appledore but not for me I'm afraid. It's that 'no single males'. Gets me every time. I'm still looking for parties with men as I'm not really very bi and being in a majority of women with only their husbands present doesn't appeal to me. Disappointing for me but well done for organising something in East Anglia.
Actually, hope you don't mind me asking but why are you excluding single males?
Jezzay
I noticed your party and it might be fun for Appledore but not for me I'm afraid. It's that 'no single males'. Gets me every time. I'm still looking for parties with men as I'm not really very bi and being in a majority of women with only their husbands present doesn't appeal to me. Disappointing for me but well done for organising something in East Anglia.
Actually, hope you don't mind me asking but why are you excluding single males?
Jezzay
Shortly after reading this thread last night I logged on to MSN Messenger and saw a guy online who was the instigator of my first (delicious) gang bang but who travels abroad a lot and I've only seen a couple of times since. I sent a 'Hi howyadoin' message and got the reply " Hi back, this is M's mum. He's not back till Tuesday" It seemed rude not to reply and she seemed keen to chat. I now think that if Discretion were a sport in the Olympics I'd be up for a gold :!:
Jezzay
Jezzay
Hi Kieron and Karen,
I'm not sure there are enough of us around. Threads have started up a couple of times before (do a search of this forum on 'norwich') but we don't seem to have got anything off the ground.
There is currently a 'sticky' about a possible Munch in Peterborough which isn't too far away and has attracted a lot of interest but the guy who started it doesn't seem to be around much. I did offer to help him.
There are a couple of MSN groups in the area who organise socials but I haven't been because I'm not sure about the level of discretion. What I can suggest you do when you're settled here is contact Angela and Clint at Euphoria (half an hour's drive) who run a very laid back naturist B&B and arrange monthly couples parties. I've been (single bird but borrowed a man for the night!) and it would be a good, civilised way of meeting other couples. I was already thinking of approaching them about a mini-Munch.
Norwich is lovely but you might find that for Swinging you'll wish you'd moved to Manchester!
Jezzay.
I'm not sure there are enough of us around. Threads have started up a couple of times before (do a search of this forum on 'norwich') but we don't seem to have got anything off the ground.
There is currently a 'sticky' about a possible Munch in Peterborough which isn't too far away and has attracted a lot of interest but the guy who started it doesn't seem to be around much. I did offer to help him.
There are a couple of MSN groups in the area who organise socials but I haven't been because I'm not sure about the level of discretion. What I can suggest you do when you're settled here is contact Angela and Clint at Euphoria (half an hour's drive) who run a very laid back naturist B&B and arrange monthly couples parties. I've been (single bird but borrowed a man for the night!) and it would be a good, civilised way of meeting other couples. I was already thinking of approaching them about a mini-Munch.
Norwich is lovely but you might find that for Swinging you'll wish you'd moved to Manchester!
Jezzay.
I'm definitely 'mature' but I don't understand this thing about 'mature' women. What makes you think we have this wonderful, sexual knowledge? We don't suddenly wake up at a certain age, you know, knowing lots of wonderful sexy stuff we didn't know before.
Surely it's a woman's experiences that shape her behaviour in bed. So the 50-year-old who was married for 30 years and has had one lover since is unlikely to know more about pleasing a man than the 30-year-old who has 'never settled down'.
I am wary now of meeting much younger men because I think they have these high 'Mrs Robinson' type expectations and I'm just me, doing what I've always done.
Unless, of course, it's : 'I'll go for the older woman. She must be gagging for it' which is also seldom true.
Jezzay.
Surely it's a woman's experiences that shape her behaviour in bed. So the 50-year-old who was married for 30 years and has had one lover since is unlikely to know more about pleasing a man than the 30-year-old who has 'never settled down'.
I am wary now of meeting much younger men because I think they have these high 'Mrs Robinson' type expectations and I'm just me, doing what I've always done.
Unless, of course, it's : 'I'll go for the older woman. She must be gagging for it' which is also seldom true.
Jezzay.
But... but... I can't do it because it just itches like mad - shaven or trimmed - and drives me to a nervous breakdown. Total nightmare!
Am I the only one? is there anything I can do? And it looks like a badly plucked turkey. Reall not a pretty sight. And then there's the pimples ... noooooo don't make me!
Jezzay
Am I the only one? is there anything I can do? And it looks like a badly plucked turkey. Reall not a pretty sight. And then there's the pimples ... noooooo don't make me!
Jezzay
Responding to two themes:
There's a type I find attractive (slim, dark, Latin, young) - ooh yes, I want that - but then find in bed it's a disappointment. And conversely the one man in my life who I just wanted to be in bed with constantly was short and very pale with poor stature.
Sexual attraction is something very primaeval, very basic and I am totally unable to explain it.
The other theme - cyber attraction. No. Dangerous. I had a long and, I thought, witty correspondence with a gentleman from AdultFriendfinder who I actually thought would be some kind of soulmate. Met him and the minute he walked in the pub I knew it was a mistake. What I had taken to be self-deprecating humour was arrogance and conceit. I couldn't get away soon enough. I thought about it for a long time because I was intrigued at how my impression of him online was so very wrong.
Has anybody else experienced either of the above?
Look - now I've been trying to type so much I've got hiccups. Pardon me.
Jezzay.
There's a type I find attractive (slim, dark, Latin, young) - ooh yes, I want that - but then find in bed it's a disappointment. And conversely the one man in my life who I just wanted to be in bed with constantly was short and very pale with poor stature.
Sexual attraction is something very primaeval, very basic and I am totally unable to explain it.
The other theme - cyber attraction. No. Dangerous. I had a long and, I thought, witty correspondence with a gentleman from AdultFriendfinder who I actually thought would be some kind of soulmate. Met him and the minute he walked in the pub I knew it was a mistake. What I had taken to be self-deprecating humour was arrogance and conceit. I couldn't get away soon enough. I thought about it for a long time because I was intrigued at how my impression of him online was so very wrong.
Has anybody else experienced either of the above?
Look - now I've been trying to type so much I've got hiccups. Pardon me.
Jezzay.
As a single who was occasionally tempted into the 1-night-stand thing after a night out I have seen some dreadful 'bachelor pads'. Last time - 2 years ago now - I swear he had been frying cat food in the was a great ad on tele a while back where the girl goes back to 2 places and backs off. The third is all IKEA and absolutely beautiful. She backs off again. Next thing is she's telling her friend 'He was lovely but he was gay!'.
Go for the IKEA look. Clean. Un-clutterd. Clean I say again. Clean sheets. Change them even if you don't think anything is going to happen. Clean loo PLEASE.
Go for the IKEA look. Clean. Un-clutterd. Clean I say again. Clean sheets. Change them even if you don't think anything is going to happen. Clean loo PLEASE.
