OK I've had a look. Quite blonde and shiny really.
And here I am home alone. What a waste.
Jezzay.
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jezzay
Over 90 days ago
Straight Female, 76
Forum
After gardening long and hard and being indecisive about going to a world music gig I had a shower and used this 'Enhance your hair colour golden blonde' bollocks which I bought about 5 and a half months ago. And then I started playing Sudoko and surfing SH and having a lovely conversation with Norfolk_couple and so 5 hours later I haven't looked in a mirror and have no idea what colour I am!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Jezzay.
Jezzay.
: Oh good - another East Anglian!
Suggest you look quite quickly at all the help and advice stuff that's already here cos people get bored answering the same question over and over. And some of the long-running threads. You'll catch on quickly that way without people having a go at you.
It's friendly really.
Jezzay.
Suggest you look quite quickly at all the help and advice stuff that's already here cos people get bored answering the same question over and over. And some of the long-running threads. You'll catch on quickly that way without people having a go at you.
It's friendly really.
Jezzay.
Quote by Colts23
love them!....
there is something about being able to play with a woman's nipples and clitoris with one hand, that just brings out the devil in me
I HATE you. Specially cos I laughed so much.
And have you heard it's better to go with an over-50 lady cos she always thinks it could be her last time!!!!
Jezzay.
Quote by SunBunny
If this is so, it follows then, that the best cunnilingus a woman will ever get will be from another woman.....?
I'm afraid to say that this is definitely so. In MY experience, at least.
I am seeing a guy who does the best oral (and fingers) I have ever had. He told me last night he was trained up by a Lesbian!!!!
Jezzay.
Quote by duncanlondon
Its conventional dating now. You'll have to stop one before you start the other.
Oh you think so do you? After all the thinking and advice from here I first of all delayed the date with Brotha to give the thing with Adam a chance to grow. I then spoke honestly with Adam about my intentions and he said "Fine. In fact, I've wanted to tell you there is another lady in my life - an old friend - who still comes to see me every month. I was feeling bad about it."
Oh you were, were you? But couldn't bring yourself to say anything till I did. Suddenly everything looks a bit different, doesn't it.
Bring on the dreadlocks!!!
Jezzay.
Wow you guys! Thank you. So many supportive and well thought out comments. This is why we don't leave Swinging Heaven when it's going through a silly phase.
Your comments have really helped me think and to realise that I'm not clear myself about what I want. And don't misunderstand - I'm not unhappy. I really appreciate the privilege it is to have choices like these to make. "markz : we spend so much of our lives thinking about the things we haven't got that we have no time to appreciate the things we have got." Absolutely.
Horous : "Then follow your heart Jezzay, otherwise you could end up loosing all round."
tanglewood72 : "you gotta go with your heart, forget what your head tells you".
Yes - I've realised that because it's nice with Adam but not promising as a long-term thing I was thinking of making it a 'just-for-sex no-strings' thing. But then why go vanilla?!!!
MikeNorth : "Isn't it pretty normal for members on dating sites to be meeting and "trying out" more than one person from the site at a time? Would the two guys really be so surprised?"
neilinleeds : "suppose it all depends on what you've intimated to adam so far and where he thinks he stands with you ((( i.e. are you b/f and g/f now as far as you've told him / let him think? ))) ?"
I agree with you guys too. We have had no discussion so far about where our 'thing' is heading so I will tell him about my planned meeting and no doubt discussion will ensue. It's possible he has assumed we are b/f and g/f. It clearly needs to be discussed.
SunBunny - bless you. You changed your view completely and I agreed with you both times!!! Your advice is hard to beat.
EVERYBODY's advice is hard to beat. I agree with you that it isn't good that my feelings for Adam aren't very strong but sometimes I am too quick to judge people and I wanted to give this time - just in case. Sometimes the good feelings don't happen straight away but gently grow. I really don't see the Brotha thing being long-term. His enthusiasm for an early meeting has all the hallmarks of a SH meet. Sort of 'I want it and I want it now'. But I could be wrong.
I am going to be honest with both and just see what happens. And I won't start anything with Brotha without having stopped the first one.
But now the reply I enjoyed most!!
Jezzay
PS: So where's this Yarmouth club, then?
Your comments have really helped me think and to realise that I'm not clear myself about what I want. And don't misunderstand - I'm not unhappy. I really appreciate the privilege it is to have choices like these to make. "markz : we spend so much of our lives thinking about the things we haven't got that we have no time to appreciate the things we have got." Absolutely.
Horous : "Then follow your heart Jezzay, otherwise you could end up loosing all round."
tanglewood72 : "you gotta go with your heart, forget what your head tells you".
Yes - I've realised that because it's nice with Adam but not promising as a long-term thing I was thinking of making it a 'just-for-sex no-strings' thing. But then why go vanilla?!!!
MikeNorth : "Isn't it pretty normal for members on dating sites to be meeting and "trying out" more than one person from the site at a time? Would the two guys really be so surprised?"
neilinleeds : "suppose it all depends on what you've intimated to adam so far and where he thinks he stands with you ((( i.e. are you b/f and g/f now as far as you've told him / let him think? ))) ?"
I agree with you guys too. We have had no discussion so far about where our 'thing' is heading so I will tell him about my planned meeting and no doubt discussion will ensue. It's possible he has assumed we are b/f and g/f. It clearly needs to be discussed.
SunBunny - bless you. You changed your view completely and I agreed with you both times!!! Your advice is hard to beat.
EVERYBODY's advice is hard to beat. I agree with you that it isn't good that my feelings for Adam aren't very strong but sometimes I am too quick to judge people and I wanted to give this time - just in case. Sometimes the good feelings don't happen straight away but gently grow. I really don't see the Brotha thing being long-term. His enthusiasm for an early meeting has all the hallmarks of a SH meet. Sort of 'I want it and I want it now'. But I could be wrong.
I am going to be honest with both and just see what happens. And I won't start anything with Brotha without having stopped the first one.
But now the reply I enjoyed most!!
Quote by foxylady 123
Go with the dreadlocks!!!
Jezzay
PS: So where's this Yarmouth club, then?
Avid readers of these threads will know that a mini-backlash is going on amongst us singles. A few of us turned our backs on the bliss of liberated, no-strings sex and fled to the vanilla world because we wanted a cup of tea in the morning.
So through a vanilla dating site I met Adam. We match. We fit. We have fun between the sheets. We lack passion and spark. We SO lack passion and spark
And then through the same site Brotha contacts me. He flirts, he woos, he will travel 200 miles to meet me. He has something I have lusted for for some time - dreadlocks and matching attitude.
So Thursday = Adam. Friday = Brotha and this is where I think I should have stayed with the swingers because - what do I tell Adam? In SH land I would just say 'Oh, by the way, I'm meeting this guy tomorrow night' but in vanilla-land it doesn't work that way. So do I tell Adam about Brotha? Honesty is a big thing with me. Or not?
Jezzay.
So through a vanilla dating site I met Adam. We match. We fit. We have fun between the sheets. We lack passion and spark. We SO lack passion and spark
And then through the same site Brotha contacts me. He flirts, he woos, he will travel 200 miles to meet me. He has something I have lusted for for some time - dreadlocks and matching attitude.
So Thursday = Adam. Friday = Brotha and this is where I think I should have stayed with the swingers because - what do I tell Adam? In SH land I would just say 'Oh, by the way, I'm meeting this guy tomorrow night' but in vanilla-land it doesn't work that way. So do I tell Adam about Brotha? Honesty is a big thing with me. Or not?
Jezzay.
Does anybody agree that film, porn movies and even TV may to be blame for some of this? You don't often see really gentle, sensual foreplay and quiet, but immensely satisfying coitus.
(Bet you can't guess what I like!)
Instead people are undressed within seconds of closing the door and females are pressed up against the living room wall, impaled upon males moving like a hammer-action drill. Not everybody's cup of tea but how are you going to know?
Jezzay.
(Bet you can't guess what I like!)
Instead people are undressed within seconds of closing the door and females are pressed up against the living room wall, impaled upon males moving like a hammer-action drill. Not everybody's cup of tea but how are you going to know?
Jezzay.
Quote by da69ve
You had me at " two free books"
Have laughed out loud at that all night!
When I read your post, Blue, I came up with all this stuff to say but quite quickly everybody else said it. It's the 'C' word - 'change' that is. Two years ago I was a drifting backpacker. Last year I was a 'swinger'. This year? (See Sunbunny and my comments on the Singles - Do you still "Vanilla" date ?" thread.)
I think we would all feel more comfortable and secure if our identities were fixed. But as a society we would also be absolutely fucked!
Jezzay.
Quote by SunBunny
I want to meet real men, and not boys, men who are willing to accompany me to a pub/restaurant/club/family do without fear of being caught, or seen as too 'couply'. All this NSA is all good and well but there really does come a time when sex , and rarely good sex at that, is just not enough. I want more. I want respect and affection, I want a man to stay the night and have a leisurely breakfast, not leave when he's done. I want romance.
Great timing for me - this thread. I echo 100% what SunBunny said. I joined adult sites specifically to turn fantasies into reality and to have no-strings sex. And it worked for me extraordinarily well. But I had those SunBunny feelings and went back to a vanilla dating site. (I was also fed up at the distances I was having to travel for my 'fun'.) I've now met somebody who is really very nice. We are getting along great.
The big surprise to both of us, however, is how sexy the relationship is turning out to be. We are having a fantastic time under the covers and I've been thinking that a lot of that is down to my SH experiences. I am now so free, so liberated about sex that it shows and I participate 150%. Yesterday we forced ourselves to actually go out as, in his words, 'I didn't want this to be a just-for-sex thing'.
I can tell he knows I am experienced and one day we will discuss it. Maybe he will walk away but I have a feeling he won't. In the meantime I can't 'swing' - it would feel disloyal, even though we are still totally uncommitted.
Jezzay
Quote by Dave__Notts
Red got 40%
Blue got 30%
Yellow got 30%
Do Reds become the government?
Yes. Haven't checked but I think in my lifetime the government has always had a majority against them. Only the Liberals have said they would change this to Proportional Representation. This is not in the interest of the major parties.
Solution? Move to Switzerland.
Jezzay.
I told my best mate a while back and she was cool. Which suggests you have to know your friends.
Problem is she's a bit of an academic, fascinated by the things I tell her and wants some sort of of study of alternative sexuality to be done. When I say you guys wouldn't stand for the intrusion she goes all puzzled.
She finds it wierd that despite the non-conformity of the behaviour there is a very high moral code.
Jezzay.
Problem is she's a bit of an academic, fascinated by the things I tell her and wants some sort of of study of alternative sexuality to be done. When I say you guys wouldn't stand for the intrusion she goes all puzzled.
She finds it wierd that despite the non-conformity of the behaviour there is a very high moral code.
Jezzay.
Premature ejaculation and swinging (or sex in multiple situations which is what I do cos I'm not a couple and can't swing) don't really go together. The really impressive thing about guys here is their abilty to make judgements and their timing.
I still have a soft spot for a guy at a club who was involved with me in a multiple situation but spotted when I was - what shall we say - ready - and defltly manouvred me to a more private situation where - I shall leave it to your imagination. Control is a prerequisite I'm afraid.
Non-swinging is different. I wouldn't mind at all. All you have to do is make a cup of tea, discuss your team's promotion/relegation chances for a bit and off you go again. The lady who throws you out because of it has too many problems - don't go there.
Jezzay.
I still have a soft spot for a guy at a club who was involved with me in a multiple situation but spotted when I was - what shall we say - ready - and defltly manouvred me to a more private situation where - I shall leave it to your imagination. Control is a prerequisite I'm afraid.
Non-swinging is different. I wouldn't mind at all. All you have to do is make a cup of tea, discuss your team's promotion/relegation chances for a bit and off you go again. The lady who throws you out because of it has too many problems - don't go there.
Jezzay.
