A young man called John invited his mother over for dinner. During the
course of the meal, his mother couldn't
help but notice how handsome John's flatmate was. She had long been
suspicious of a relationship between
the two, and this only made her more curious. Over the course of the
evening, while watching the two
interact, she started to wonder if there was more between John and his
flatmate than met the eye.
Reading his Mum's thoughts, John volunteered, "I know what you must be
thinking, but I assure you, Simon
and I are just flatmates."
About a week later, Simon came to John saying, "Ever since your mother
came
to dinner I've been unable to
find the beautiful silver gravy ladle. You don't suppose she took it,
do
you?" "Well, I doubt it, but I'll e-mail her
just to be sure," said John.
So he sat down and wrote:
Dear Mother,
I'm not saying that you DID take the gravy ladle from my house, I'm
not
saying that you DID NOT take the
gravy ladle, but the fact remains that it has been missing ever since
you
were here for dinner.
Love John.
Several days later John received an email from his Mother, which read:
Dear Son,
I'm not saying that you DO sleep with Simon, and I'm not saying that
you DO
NOT sleep with Simon, but the
fact remains that if he was sleeping in his own bed he would have
found the
gravy ladle by now.
Love, Mum.
Lesson of the day.........Don't Ever Lie to Your Mother
(well... about being gay anyway!)
how come when u try n arrange to meet up with a couple that u want to meet up with we get given 30-45mins notice, it makes us look bad when we keep turning it down! with work at 9 the next day we dont want to be out latee. is that totally unreasonable of us or does everyone make last minute plans? cos my other half hates them and then ends up pissed off! its fair enough i guess
sadly im one of these people who isnt bothered by needles / check up, sorry i dont mean to be like that
u have a pm to read xxxx :-)
yeah we'd be interested in it as doncaster is quite local, keep us posted and congradulations we are so pleased for u2 ~m & r~
is anything goin on in york area tonight for a couple (although we are a little insane) see our ad
ive been recommended a place nearxxxxxxxxxxxxx for dogging, just wondering if anyone knew if its woirth going to on a sat nite as its a long way to go to be disappointed. thanks xxxx
does anyone know any good dogging sites in yorkshire, preferably the york area where their may be something going on? we're new to york and totally lost :-) thanks
lol yeah loads of water got some great photos when the rivers rose about 6Ft yikes that was a sight!
ahh well no replies guess im just going to have to play we will just have to play with ourselves and drink all nite...such a shame :-)
hello is anyone interested in meeting up tonight? looking for couples / females we can travel and accomodate. see our advert and excuse the silly posts in the cafe i have a werid sense of humour at times xxxx
helllo just read the post and big hugs to you libra - i hope all gets sorted out, we are new ot SH and the thought is very scary but i think ur doing well and have the support of all us behind u. take care xxxx
hey just to say hes turned up, in a bit of a werid mood but things arent goin great for him since we moved to york anyways, just glad hes back safe! silly men!
try goin to xp is famous for doing this. my bf is an it tech and ive seen it all before, however he in a bad mood 2nite otherwise id try n get him to help u, anyways run the scan on this website n that mite find more stuff to remove xxxx
sorry for snapping at people, under stressed he has turned up but is not in a good mood and not sure why ~hugs~
i have no idea but silly comments arent helping! i cant look for him york is too big
hello, my bf came in from work today ok, i had forgotten to pick something up in town, and hes gone, took his bike and said he wasnt coming back, this isnt like him. his phone, keys and wallet are still here, what shall i do? this is too hard!
just wondering if anyone knew any other funny things kids say, heres some i have:
The following questions and answers were collated from last year's British GCSE exams. (16 year olds)!
Q: Name the four seasons.
A: Salt, pepper, mustard and vinegar.
Q: Explain one of the processes by which water can be made safe to drink.
A: Flirtation makes water safe to drink because it removes large Pollutant like grit, sand, dead sheep and canoeists.
Q: How is dew formed?
A: The sun shines down on the leaves and makes them perspire.
Q: What is a planet?
A: A body of earth surrounded by sky.
Q: What causes the tides in the oceans?
A: The tides are a fight between the Earth and the Moon. All water Tends to flow towards the moon, because there is no water on the moon, and Nature abhors a vacuum. I forget where the sun joins in this fight.
Q: What guarantees may a mortgage company insist on?
A: If you are buying a house, they will insist you are well endowed.
Q: In a democratic society, how important are elections?
A: Very can only happen when a male gets an election.
Q: What are steroids?
A: Things for keeping carpets still on the stairs.
Biology
Q: What happens to your body as you age?
A: When you get old, so do your bowels and you get intercontinental.
Q: What happens to a boy when he reaches puberty?
A: He says goodbye to his boyhood and looks forward to his adultery.
Q; Name a major disease associated with cigarettes.
A: Premature death.
Q: What is artificial insemination?
A: When the farmer does it to the bull instead of the cow.
Q: How can you delay milk turning sour?
A: Keep it in the cow.
Q: How are the main parts of the body categorised? (E.g. abdomen.)
A: The body is consisted into three parts - the brainium, the borax and the abdominal cavity. The branium contains the brain, the borax contains the heart and lungs, and the abdominal cavity contains the five bowels, A, E, I, O and U.
Q: What is the Fibula?
A: A small lie.
Q: What does varicose mean?
A: Nearby.
Q: What is the most common form of birth control?
A: Most people prevent contraception by wearing a condominium.
Q: Give the meaning of the term Caesarean Section.
A: The caesarean section is a district in Rome.
Q: What is a seizure?
A: A Roman emperor.
Q: What is a terminal illness?
A: When you are sick at the airport
Q: Give an example of a fungus. What is a characteristic feature?
A: Mushrooms. They always grow in damp places and they look like umbrellas.
Q: Use the word judicious in a sentence to show you understand its meaning.
A: Hands that judicious can be soft as your face. {do dishes}
Q: What does the word benign mean?
A: Benign is what you will be after you be eight.
Q: What is a turbine?
A: Something an Arab wears on his head.
i got 70% which did worry me but then reading all ur reslts i see im normal :-)
i hate the fact u have to pay for a tv license and theres nought good worth watching
erm farm gate in north hartlepool i think or the toilets at the side of a swimming pool in gran canaria
hello im having a bad day and so offering ways to annoy people around u!
in the poundshop asking a shop assistant how much something is?
any more
im ashamed by porn star name is sweetie prescott - how crap!
after numerous funny comments and joke ive decided to see how many kayakers we have! me and my bf are them so theres 2!
u sound so brave im really proud - keep up the good work!
ok im tired but dont wana sleep so decided to get to know people on here
a game - hee hee
everyone has to think of a dirty word begingin with their name
ie. me: Rachel - rampant rabbit
oih my god that has cheered me up so much! hee hee hee :-D
hey just wanted to offer my sympathy and if u need anyone to talk to im here ~hugs~
