Quote by dambuster
powder, sugar, milk, microwave 2 MINUTES!!
Pyrex jug, powder, boiling water - INSTANT.
allow to cool, add a female body to eat it from,
heaven
Join the most popular community of UK swingers now
Login
Forum
a new member with just 6 posts showing, but after the post quoted here I am certain he is gping to fit right in here
:welcome: to :swingingchair: Heaven
Quote by iluvminis
Hello people,I'm new to the site but not new to dogging or swinging,Virgin18,I think the phrase is "U've pissed on your chips" for a while seems you are so desperate to lose your cherry,even if you went dogging you would probably,well almost definately,f@#k it up for all the other genuine doggers in the area at the time,your "enthusiasm" would almost certainly enrage them for quite some time to come,for your own sake listen to the advice given by all the previous comments made on this thread because I'm pretty sure no female on here would go near you with Saddam Hussein's barge pole,It seems you regard these ladies and I mean ladies as a peice of meat to satisfy your desire to lose your "virginity". What you have shown to everyone is just why you are still a virgin at 18 and at this rate will probably remain so for quite a long time to should be and expect to be treated with RESPECT 1st and you have learned how to do that you may have more success,I hope this helps you,
:welcome: to :swingingchair: Heaven
Quote by iluvminis
Hello people,I'm new to the site but not new to dogging or swinging,Virgin18,I think the phrase is "U've pissed on your chips" for a while seems you are so desperate to lose your cherry,even if you went dogging you would probably,well almost definately,f@#k it up for all the other genuine doggers in the area at the time,your "enthusiasm" would almost certainly enrage them for quite some time to come,for your own sake listen to the advice given by all the previous comments made on this thread because I'm pretty sure no female on here would go near you with Saddam Hussein's barge pole,It seems you regard these ladies and I mean ladies as a peice of meat to satisfy your desire to lose your "virginity". What you have shown to everyone is just why you are still a virgin at 18 and at this rate will probably remain so for quite a long time to should be and expect to be treated with RESPECT 1st and you have learned how to do that you may have more success,I hope this helps you,
let me :welcome: you to :swingingchair: Heaven and say thank you for those openining words, you I feel will find acceptance very rapidly here
Quote by virgin18
im sry ur right all i wanted to meet someone who would lose my v and i though this was the best option im sry for everyone i offened and hurt, but its killing me being a virgin at 18 i wanna join the doggin world.
ok, I aint going to be nasty or anything here but..................
dogging is about WATCHING and BEING watched, a virgin can watch just as well as a 50 years experience guy.
you are talking of losing your virginity, to what end?? if you read the threads you will see that the vast majority of doggin by couples is done for the thrill of being watched, not because they want to be joined in with, some will give oral or a handjob to a watcher or two, the couple that are willing to take it further are a rarer breed. Your chances of meeting that breed are low
you would be better of visiting a club or even the busiest pub you can find, a young guy rarely lacks the chance to have sex.
Quote by PoloLady
What ever next will they put in cars as the new gadget?
You can already have…
CD player
MP3 player
DVD player
Television screens in the back of head rests
Games consoles
Satellite Navigation
Heated seats
Air conditioning/climate control
Cruise control
Electric window, mirrors, seat adjusters, sunroof…
What would you like your car to have fitted as standard?
ypur perfect match as a partner?
I suggest that you sit back, relax, take several deep breathes and think clearly about your future here.
If you want to be accepted then join in the chat, add to posts, show us the person who we will like enough to invite to parties and meetings as well as to munches
If you are here just to be an annoyance, well here is news for you, you wont be an annoyance because people will just ignore you until such time as you are deleted
your choice now, make a wise one
If you want to be accepted then join in the chat, add to posts, show us the person who we will like enough to invite to parties and meetings as well as to munches
If you are here just to be an annoyance, well here is news for you, you wont be an annoyance because people will just ignore you until such time as you are deleted
your choice now, make a wise one
Quote by skegnessswingers
Why would you need to know?
If a person, regardless of the circumstances of thier birth, wants to be accepted as a male, female, alien, jedi, oompaloompa or whatever, then surely that is their choice? If your mate Desmond requests that from now on you call him Marjorie and refer to him as her, surly out of all courtesy you should? And if you accept that, then why would you need to worry about whether any new person you meet might have been born as Oswald but is now Stephanie?
I agree here %100. It doesnt matter if they are TS Martian Sarge ori between, you accept them as they are.
P ersonally I dont give a damm about a persons past present/gender, if they have had gender reassignment so what, if you like the personality of the person then what else is needed
lo there 
:welcome: to this our lil world called :swingingchair: Heaven
just because you replied to an add yesterday dont mean you should expect an answer today. I have waited 4 weeks for a reply from some, others never reply.
The basic maths are simple, 1 woman looking for NSA sex for every 40 men looking for the same thing, a woman can post an add and get 100's of replies, half didnt read her add just saw "woman wants NSA sex" so replied....the fact the woman wants guys of 8inch plus and they are only 6inch dont matter, nor that they live 150 mile away or can only meet in daytime when she wants nightime.
The woman would never get her sex if she spent the time replying to everybody so most just only reply to the most interesting people. Sure you spent 30 seconds making you reply, or 30 minutes even, sure it dont seem fair that you get no response...tough, thats life
It takes time and patience, plus a massive amount of perseverence/stubborness before you get your replies. Your profile shows you only joined the forums today, dont know how long you have been a member on the add section, but unless you are something real special dont expect the ladies to be knocking your door down.
Sorry to be so blunt but I figure hearing the general facts now will save you energy because if you are not willing to wait for the good things to arrive, then its unlikely you are going to be here next week
:welcome: to this our lil world called :swingingchair: Heaven
just because you replied to an add yesterday dont mean you should expect an answer today. I have waited 4 weeks for a reply from some, others never reply.
The basic maths are simple, 1 woman looking for NSA sex for every 40 men looking for the same thing, a woman can post an add and get 100's of replies, half didnt read her add just saw "woman wants NSA sex" so replied....the fact the woman wants guys of 8inch plus and they are only 6inch dont matter, nor that they live 150 mile away or can only meet in daytime when she wants nightime.
The woman would never get her sex if she spent the time replying to everybody so most just only reply to the most interesting people. Sure you spent 30 seconds making you reply, or 30 minutes even, sure it dont seem fair that you get no response...tough, thats life
It takes time and patience, plus a massive amount of perseverence/stubborness before you get your replies. Your profile shows you only joined the forums today, dont know how long you have been a member on the add section, but unless you are something real special dont expect the ladies to be knocking your door down.
Sorry to be so blunt but I figure hearing the general facts now will save you energy because if you are not willing to wait for the good things to arrive, then its unlikely you are going to be here next week
Quote by Marya
Morbid ain't ya?
Can I go for the old boring peacefully-in-my-sleep cop-out, please?
cuase you can hun, but wouldnt you prefer to cum just before?
I know I sure as hell would
The way I would like to go out its unusual, hitting the ground before my chute opens while having sex in freefall ( and yes it IS possible to have sex in free fall )
Quote by Debbiewebs
Was such a laugh!............. i could go to him with any probs...and i would come out laughing me socks off!.......how ever down i felt!........ takes a special person to do that!
remember him like this hun, and though I know its hard to accept......
beleiving he is safe and happy now, surrounded by loves ones and looking down watching over you, it helps some.
I offer my best to you hun, be strong and know that your friends here will support you
Quote by benniblaka
ouch indeed man!!! :shock: was considering the snip but i think i just changed my mind!!
get well soon mate, good luck NOT getting a stiffy.
A, the snip is to your balls
B, it left me in agaony for a week and servere discomfort for a second week after
C, I had a drop dead knockout fem ale nurser
D, The doc was a fem as well I neverknew I could get a hardon that fast as when she came into view, also never knew that having your prick flicked across the eye could sting so much
E, its just a local you get and listening to then chatting as they snip snip snip p-lus smelling your meat burning as they use the soldering iron thing to close you off....yuck
having said all that, if you are absolutely sure on having it done, go for it because itis only temp discomfort after all
BradfordCpl (male) call me thick but it aint put me off (yet)
BradfordCpl (fem) as you gotta go 6 weeks without you can either A, wear a shapeless smock and hide yourself so he dont suffer, or B, dress as risque as possible and leave him cryin at your beauty ( I recomend option B :) ) but I am a sadastic busturd :P
Quote by veejay
Disgraceful. If people want to fulfill their own fantasies, they shouldn't make the rest of society pay for it in terms of the police time wasted and the cost of the chopper.
I'd have charged them with wasting police time/public nuisance etc. Basically, whatever I could.
perhaps the didnt expect people to report anything. I know I wouldnt as people nowdays see only what they want to see
Quote by marmalaid
I know it's a strange one, but work insisted that I fill in my sickness self certification form before I go off sick, because in this instance I already know I'm going to be off sick next week
So I've filled in the work one, but does this mean I have to fill in an SH one as well? I'm going into hospital next Monday for a hysterectomy :scared: so I won't be here for at least a week........ the good news is, I won't be going to work for at least 6 weeks after that so I can sit here and spout bollox to my heart's content
Sarge!!! You're obviously the keeper of the forms..... what do I do???
Sounds like a perfect opportunity to visit you, Angel. Are we organising a coach at visiting time?
well I can get a hold of a 60 seater
as it has dvd and tv (ofc) al we need is somebody to film the op for us and transfer to dvd, we can watch the gory bits on the way down for visiting :)
Quote by AndyS-NE
Well after being a visiting officer for the DSS that place sounds like a palace!! - you soon learn not to sit on soft furnishings!!!
p.s not a dig at anyone on the Benefits, but there are some real sh*tholes i''ve been in!!
I am on benefits m8, I dont have a s**thole home tho, but i do recall a house when I was working for a national replacement window company, I was sent to the house, and yes they did order worth of new windows, but when I left after a 1 hour visit I did have to wipe my shoes on the grass outside to remove the sticky residue, also i couldnt go to my next apointment as I needed to change my suit and take a shower
Quote by bonnienclyde
(Obviously as long as you are not doing anything that anyone else objects to like bringing your own sheep).
Well I'm sorry to tell you Parrot I'm very selfish regards things like that and people have to bring there own sheep because they cant have mine
lol save money and have fun
hump a sheep and the result is
a Wolley Jumper
bloody old but what the hell, so am I
Quote by MikeNorth
guy4fun not seeing the funny side of things?
VWE - both carrying 7 inches? Excuse me while I fall over myself to get to Chelmsford.
Cheer up mate. It might never happen.
Well, they do say over 7 inches, SunBunny, but even so....perhaps people had better keep the phone number of Chelmsford trading standards department handy.
.Mike.
hmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmm, if 7 inches is VWE does that make my 6 1/2 WE cuz I really though it was just average
WE starts at 8 I think wit VWE starting around 9 or 10, ok, I aint really sure but heyyyy, I am pleased to be we anyways ( now watch some muppet come along and say I am just normqal not WE )
no we aint a lil bit pervy, most of us are just regular joe type people, true there are a few who have strange perversions but they dont tend to want to join swinging groups
I do not consider myself perverted, yes I love sex, yes I love sex, yes I love sex
/me kicks the record player again yes I love sex, but I am not perverted, I enjoy the pleasure of a ladies body, soon I hope to enjoy the peasure of a mans body, but that aint perverted
I do not consider myself perverted, yes I love sex, yes I love sex, yes I love sex
/me kicks the record player again yes I love sex, but I am not perverted, I enjoy the pleasure of a ladies body, soon I hope to enjoy the peasure of a mans body, but that aint perverted
Quote by lucyslovely
Maybe:
If instead of transferring your account to your new address you cancel it when you move, then ask to be connected at your new place, as you will no longer have an account they will treat you as a 'brand new customer', connect you up in five minutes, give you the three-in-one package for half price, send 17 dancing girls round your house to entertain you, walk your dog, do your shopping, give you a blowjob...
Then after a month you won't be a 'brand new customer' anymore and they'll go back to treating you like shit.
Now thats a thought ....a new account with a different provider ! wasnt thinking ! or maybe threaten em with thought of a new provider !
but your right about being treated as shit ! ........as a new customer I had to wait from Aug 6th to sept 7th last year to have the package installed, ......two weeks after that my phone went dead ! so I sent various e-mails, sat in the telephone box on numerous occaisions......to be told theres a fault on the line ! fuck me , as if I didnt know that ! .....anyway I got an email saying it would take a month to rectify ! it didnt..........from end of Sept to Jan 14th this year ! no phone ! ...........now I had emailed various times....could even ring my own number but no ring tone in house ! ....but its working they said......I said it fucking isnt well ring me and see ! ....oh we have fucked up the wiring , we'll send an engineer later today ! ........yup was done in 5 mins ! ........this was only done cos I stood in the middle of a precinct shouting at the NTL girl who sold me the package in the shopping centre ! ..........but whats the option ?
Pop into your local Comet/Curries/PC World .... pick up a disk for an ISP who offers an internet connection other than broadband .............pop the disk into yourcomputer and you have instant connection.
I think you pay by credit card .... you might have limited access .... but it's better that no connection at all !
Lucy
he wont have a phone line even tho
Quote by AwaysRandy
Hello mate
I joined recently, and found everyone was very friendly.
Some articles I found really helpful were Roger’s Advice and Heather’s Hints, and also Marcuso’s Tips. Finally, you might think the site's Q&A is helpful.
Hope you enjoy the site as much as I do!
Charlie
wow
Well done that man, shows you have been trying to get to grips with our ways
now everybody :welcome: one and all to :swingingchair: Heaven
