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littlemee
Over 90 days ago
Straight Male, 60
UK
Forum
Orgasminator
Quote by petal24
I'm just embarking on a phone sex/ dirty text relationship, and so far I feel like a bit of a tit as he talks and I just moan!
Well, just metaphorically push him back onto the bed and tell him 'To shut the fuck up' and then proceed to tell him what you'd do to him.
Quote by petal24
And I put so much effort into a dirty text to him, and he replied asking me to make the next one dirtier. Now I'm stressing because I don't think I can be dirty enough! A bit off topic, sorry!
And the lessons to be learnt here are 'Always leave them wanting more'. 'Don't hit him with your big guns first'. 'Keep your powder dry for later'.
But then again if he's said "Make the next text dirtier" then just tell the ungrateful fucker where to go!!!
And finally, if you really need some more practice then my number is 077...
!!!!!!!!! Orgasminator
Quote by varca
My 12 year old loves Dave Mustane lolol I think there's a Metallica revival going down
That just about sums me up.....the intellectual equivalent of a 12 year old.
Either that or your child has an IQ of 350!!!
Hmmmm did wonder about the mickey mouse in your avatar
:rotflmao: :DIt's the only famous person I've met!!!
Orgasminator
Quote by vodka_babe22uk
was chatting in the wee small hours of this morning and we wondered when a guy has sex for the 1st time does it hurt
as it can do sometimes for us girls
I was circumcised relatively late in life and the 1st time wasn't painful but my knob end was surprisingly sensitive for a while without a foreskin to protect it.
Orgasminator
Can't dance, don't dance!!!
Even when I'm really pissed just never seemed to want to dance or enjoyed dancing. :taz:
Listen to the likes of Yes, Pink Floyd, Rush, Zepplin which is probably why. Not exactly music to fill the dance floor!!! :happy:
I do amuse the local kids though 'cos they probably think old gits like me shouldn't have Metallica blasting out of their Ford Focus!!!
Even when I'm really pissed just never seemed to want to dance or enjoyed dancing. :taz:
Listen to the likes of Yes, Pink Floyd, Rush, Zepplin which is probably why. Not exactly music to fill the dance floor!!! :happy:
I do amuse the local kids though 'cos they probably think old gits like me shouldn't have Metallica blasting out of their Ford Focus!!!
Orgasminator
I would like to publicly "big up" TWO incredibly lovely ladies from here.
Yep, two. I'm a very, very lucky man!!!
The first for the most awesome MSN bj possible. (Perhaps the real thing on Wednesday if I'm really, really good, eh J?)
And a gorgeous little lady for letting me have her self-inflicted orgasm over the phone.
I can still hear those screams of pleasure now!!!
They're both far to modest to be named but they know who they are!!!
to you both.
Yep, two. I'm a very, very lucky man!!!
The first for the most awesome MSN bj possible. (Perhaps the real thing on Wednesday if I'm really, really good, eh J?)
And a gorgeous little lady for letting me have her self-inflicted orgasm over the phone.
I can still hear those screams of pleasure now!!!
They're both far to modest to be named but they know who they are!!!
to you both. Orgasminator
Quote by varca
Really boring mine, age 21, my wedding night....
Why is that 'boring'?
Possibly THE most romantic post on this thread!!! :rose:
Surely better than a teenage fumble and a cold, wet arse?!!!
How many people on here wish they'd waited that little bit longer for someone more 'special', somewhere more romantic or just when they might have known a bit more and were able to actually enjoy it a bit more?!!!
Kind of some of the reasons I hung 'til 19.
Plus I was an ugly, boring little shit that couldn't get laid!!! :cry:
Orgasminator
Quote by petal24
I don't mean nicknames, I mean more of a generic term.
I generally call mine my bits. Now if I say this in my new phone sex relationship, I think I will get laughed at, and I feel like a silly little girl saying it, so a bit of a mood killer!
He says pussy, but I can't say that word, I don't know why. I don't find it offensive, I just feel stupid. I feel a bit more comfortable with the c word, but to sure if thats a bit sweary.
So I was wondering really, ladies when you're in that kind of situation what word do you use? And guys, what do you like to hear?
Funny the things this site makes me think about!!!
I didn't really have any appropriate descriptive terms but after a little thought I have remembered a few I used as a kid & others I've heard used.
So how about some of these petal?
Quim. (My particular favourite and apparently from the Celtic word for valley - according to Google)
Snatch.
Honeypot (Maybe not!!)
Minge.
Muff.
Tassie. (Apparently from the shape of the island Tasmania!!!)
Please let us know if you use any of these in your phone-sex liaisons 'cos I will be charging a consultancy fee!!!
Orgasminator
Quote by jockmurray3
In uni halls of residence..
too old (20!)
too scared (it was a disaster)
and too nervous
Saying that the graph went up after that, so would rather start low and improve than start high and get worse
An old thread I know but some of these old ones are really funny!!
And it's nice to see I wasn't the oldest virgin when I eventually popped my cherry at the ripe old age of 19.
No exotic location for me either, in the back of my Vauxhall Viva in a carpark in glamorous Eltham (South London).
Even though I say so myself it was very good (please note I said "it" and not "I").
I think we even managed to do it in about 3 different positions. Mainly due to trying to get comfortable until we settled with her sitting on me.
Orgasminator
Quote by Cossie
Mr cossie has a grower.
I love to catch him when he is not ready the feeling of it growing in my mouth is just great.ops:
Speaking from the growers perspective, Mr Cossie is such a lucky man 'cos the feeling he will be getting of it growing in your mouth is possibly one of the most erotic sensations I have had on the couple of occaisions a g/f was able to catch me unawares!!!
Quote by Cossie
I would say 5 inches is avarage, I have seen button yes buttons for willys , but I have not seen many over 6 inches.
Bloody hell. My illusions have just been shattered!!! Thankfully. :happy:
In my shy, swinging naivety I thought every bloke was 7" plus!!! And this seemed to be confirmed from most of the ads on here but now maybe I don't need to be so ashamed about mine.
I'm average!!! Yay, it's good to be average!!! :bounce:
It must just be that I have got really big hands then!!!
Orgasminator
Quote by mostlycurious
i guess i must just make life too complex for myself judging by the posts.
when i was young relationships either just fizzled out naturally or they ended it with me!!! boo hoo
with my first marriage i think it took months to get around to saying it's over i want out, we tried andtried and re-tried, okay maybe only one of us was trying as the other was knobbing someone else!!!
however, when it did happen it was like a blinding light, like Saul on the road to Damscus jobbie, a reveation. I got up found a new home, hired a transit van, shoved some furniture and ny daughter in it and drove away..
simple as that really!!!
Same here. In my marriage it took a couple of years of trying & trying before I finally realised that it had turned into something that just wasn't going to work and finally, I didn't want it to work, so I went.
Having a small child really complicated things for me, as the father, 'cos you really do lose your son when you leave your wife. Well, I have anyway.
It's really hard to make that break when you still have intense feelings for your partner. In my case I just had to make the break 'cos neither of us was happy with the other, and we both wanted each other to change to help resolve our probs but neither could.
Even now, months later, the contact with my wife is hurtful 'cos she hasn't let go as fully as I appear to have. I have to be mindful that she could turn into that 'bunny boiler'.
Years ago I was in a 3-4 year long relationship that just seemed to die out for me. Working long hours and not seeing each other helped but I realised I just didn't want / need her in my life so I just walked away. Option 1 in this thread (getting back to the point of this thread for a wee while!!!) I told her how I felt and just went. She gave me some grief with phone calls and letters (yes letters!!! Remember those?!!! This was when mobile phones were the size of a suitcase!!!)
But it must have been better for her to have heard it straight from me than for me to be miserable, gripe at her, make her unhappy and then just spiral downward until we were both so pissed off we both wanted it over.
I didn't like hurting her like I did & I nearly said 'Let's get back together then' on one of her many phone calls but I dread to think what situation that might have created.
Orgasminator
Afraid I haven't got any 'caught out' tales 'cos I'm too boringly cautious I suppose.
For example, a lady on here who I text a fair bit has the same name as my ex-manager at work!!! Therefore they're next to each other on my mobile's contact list.
She's early 40's and pretty tasty (the manager) and I just know I'm gonna have a Jack Daniels too many one night & that really horny, descriptive text is gonna get sent to the wrong lady by mistake!!!
Now that WOULD be embarrassing so being the cautious bloke I am I've moved one in my contacts!!!
For example, a lady on here who I text a fair bit has the same name as my ex-manager at work!!! Therefore they're next to each other on my mobile's contact list.
She's early 40's and pretty tasty (the manager) and I just know I'm gonna have a Jack Daniels too many one night & that really horny, descriptive text is gonna get sent to the wrong lady by mistake!!!
Now that WOULD be embarrassing so being the cautious bloke I am I've moved one in my contacts!!!
Orgasminator
Quote by Freckledbird
LM, I think he's feeling a little disgruntled - he's just made a comment about the lack of genuine people on swinging sites, over in LMU
I dunno! Some of these married blokes want it handed to them on a plate, don't they?!!!
Make 'em work for it ladies. But in the mean time spare a thought for us honest single chaps!!!
Orgasminator
Quote by Supatramp
Excuse me, but did a couple of ladies actually admit to meeting guys??
Good grief, you really are part of an endangered species.
I know that's probably me totally bombed out now, but I probably won't notice the difference!!!
Dave. (xxx to you pair of lovely decent genuine ladies)
Have faith Dave. It does happen!!! And like everything in this world, you only get out what you put in.
But no matter how long it takes Dave, I'm sure the lady will be well worth you having to make all that effort for.
Orgasminator
Quote by blueandpink
But I just cannot do phone sex, I burst into giggles, or go totally off topic, i.e
him - 'what are you wearing now?'
me - 'pink thong, with lace detail.......got them from xxxxxx, only , they are very nice, I was thinking of buying the matching bra, but didnt really like it, do you think I should?' etc etc etc.
By this time the dog needs the loo, he's lost what ever general hornyness he had, and I'm thinking of my next shopping trip!!!!
But it only ever happens with phone sex!!! Never text or msn!!!!
Redangel
Know what you mean phone sex is more embarrasing, MSN is easier to think about things and not say purile things! Also the first time you cum loudly is strange thinking of the person the other end listening intently - did I sound like I was murdering the cat??? :shock: :shock: :shock: :shock: My phone sex buddy is awesome but we've only just started really and get more confortable with each session.
pink x
Had my first 'proper' experience of phone sex last night!!!
Well, it was more of MSN sex and phone orgasm!!!
After a little foreplay and some vigorous MSN build up we moved into the bedroom and slid between the sheets of a nice, warm O2 connection.
Within minutes my partners rabbit had accomplished what wasn't possible on her kitchen chair and the screams of ecstasy were incredible to listen too over the phone.
I felt a bit of a fraud 'cos I didn't actually have to say much while I was on the phone 'cos all my 'hard' work had been done on MSN but I just lay there intently listening to the moaning & groaning building to an ear-splitting crescendo!!!
I wondered if her neighbours were awake?!!! But they probably were after!!!
The only down side with phone sex is there is no afterglow!!! Bit of a lonely period directly after you've said your 'Goodbyes' and hung up. I always like a bit of a kiss & cuddle after!!!
Orgasminator
Quote by marcus123
im not sure a thirty one year old would know, im not big or small, jus average. but you ask a woman to her face if size matters she will always say no, but a totally diferent thing to her mates. would just be nice to have an honest feedback of the ladies?
As long as the one you're with is enjoying whatever you've got then don't worry about it mate.
We all want bigger, better, faster, longer everything but when push comes to shove we make the most of whatever we have.
And shouldn't you be trying to use your tongue & fingers expertly even if you've got a cock like a horse?!!!
