I broke my wrist by falling off the toilet, while trying to squash a blue bottle with a coat hanger. Sadly yes, this is 100% true!
den
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mazandden
Over 90 days ago
Bisexual Female, 43
Straight Male, 48
UK
Forum
Sex God
Quote by ToshUK
Just to hold up the honour of men who so far haven't been too adventurous.
I have brought myself off by squatting and rubbing my cock between my lubricated ankles.
Well, all I can say is that I read about it once and had to try it.
I have also come from a powerful shower jet but it took a while.
And of course we have all tried and failed to suck it ourselves. One day a hilarious DVD will come out with these attempts. All that happens is that you get a gobbet of spunk in your eye.
Den can't get anywhere near his ankles, nothing to do with,ahem, size... more the fact he's not flexible enough!
How the hell does that one work anyway??Shower jet- always... but also a jacuzzi yet when i was staying in a hotel and quite a bit younger, with lots of people in the pool it overlooked! :shock:
Sex God
I chop n change....
I go by kilograms or stones for weight and feet or cm for height but I don't understand when the hair dresser says 'i'll chop off a few inches' i need told in cm, and I don't understand weight in pounds, oh, and I have never understood farenheit!
Miles per hour- yes
Kilometres per hour- no
yards- no
acre- yes
hectare-yes
calories- yes
kiljoules-yes
And I still ask for a quarter pound of sweets in a shop , but I would ask for grams of meat for some reason?!!?!?
So a bit of a mixed bag but surely would be easier if it was all metric!!
m x
I go by kilograms or stones for weight and feet or cm for height but I don't understand when the hair dresser says 'i'll chop off a few inches' i need told in cm, and I don't understand weight in pounds, oh, and I have never understood farenheit!
Miles per hour- yes
Kilometres per hour- no
yards- no
acre- yes
hectare-yes
calories- yes
kiljoules-yes
And I still ask for a quarter pound of sweets in a shop , but I would ask for grams of meat for some reason?!!?!?
So a bit of a mixed bag but surely would be easier if it was all metric!!
m x
Sex God
Quote by Srne
I do understand where cossie is coming from, when we were new to swinging we got pretty drunk and ended up with a couple that we just didn't have that spark or attraction, and we probably wouldn't have considered swinging at all if we'd been sober-all in all it was a bad experience.
You weren't that pissed were you i thought i was a hunk
I'd had 2 bottles of vodka and didn't have my contacts in......
Sex God
Quote by bbw_lover
Whereas slim women tend to be very critical and judgemental of women who are a 'little big'.
I have to disagree with this entirely ( I know its an aside from the main thread topic)
I find this offensive as it's a bit of a sweeping generalisation to make that just becuase someone is slim they tend to be more judgemental than someone who is not.
As you can see you can't agree with everyones views!
I do understand where cossie is coming from, when we were new to swinging we got pretty drunk and ended up with a couple that we just didn't have that spark or attraction, and we probably wouldn't have considered swinging at all if we'd been sober-all in all it was a bad experience.
I think that that's unfortunately what you have to put it down to- experience, you'll learn yourselves to be more specific, and to think about yourself not just about hurting the feelings of those you may be potentially swinging with.
I think it's a difficult thing to build up the courage to do when you first start and I can see how easy it would be to go too far...
You live n learn eh?!
m xx
Sex God
Have a wee gander through the chat rooms as well, have a look for one in your area, or the kind of things you're into, and if you don't find one, then start a room of your own and start getting to know people from that.
You can also get a mentor to help you- some clever person will post a link as I only remembered about that now, and can't be arsed to go find it!
I'm v lazy you see!
m xx
You can also get a mentor to help you- some clever person will post a link as I only remembered about that now, and can't be arsed to go find it!
I'm v lazy you see!
m xx
Sex God
Well I'd just like to point out that my beloved Den's team 'I love Scott Brown' is all the way down there in 13th place, whilst team Maz O'Kissed is up there in 2nd!!!!!!
Woohoooooooooooo!!!
Bring it on!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
I think it's all down to the sexy outfit my boys are wearing, what do you think?
Or perhaps it's the pre and post match rub downs i've been giving them????....
M xx
Woohoooooooooooo!!!
Bring it on!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
I think it's all down to the sexy outfit my boys are wearing, what do you think?
Or perhaps it's the pre and post match rub downs i've been giving them????....
M xx
Sex God
Quote by Wilddaisy
If more attention for men equals more fun then blondes have it!
I've been blonde since a friends amateur bleach job in high school (my shade is a lot nicer these days!!)but every so often I dye it brown and I feel rubbish - also men don't pay half as much attention to me with my hair dark.
So I personally have loads more fun being blonde!
Wild daisy- where on earth have you been hiding with an avatar like that?!?!
I've been blonde since the days of sun-in - when my hair would have a lovely greenish tinge to it when i went swimming in the school holidays!
I've since been every colour under the sun except green and black, i've had blue, pink, silver, ginger, strawberry blonde, brown, chestnut,dark brown with lots of colours, blonde with lots of colours, lilac, red etc etc I can't actually remember what my own hair colour is, and i can't tell if collar and cuffs ever match because everything is shaved away!
I look hideous with any kind of ginger/red/strawberry blonde, and i have far too pale a face for dark colours, so blonde it is now, and an expensive blonde at that :cry:
(wouldn't have the guts to do it myself now!)I like being blonde but get very bored easily, and change my hair more often than my underwear, so will probably be brown again before I know it!
And I still think gentlemen prefer blondes.......
M xx
Sex God
Quote by aj1980
i have met some really really nice people on line (maz u r sexier than most p3 girls), i feel far more comfortable with sexuality, and i have had a lot of laughs as well...(Abilene i still think the day you answered the door to the post man whilst on line was hilarious...were looking so hot..the poor guy)...
i still havent met anyone, but i feel as though i could when i meet the right people...and if jaymar is ever in bristol then :twisted:
Sex God
we have loads!!!
i'll let you all guess these ones....
fanjita
slaisters
maloneys
bawbag
goonie
baffies
slaters
sleekit bastard
eejit
fae
goany no
drouth
ran dan
dinnae fars yersel, yer at yer aunties hoose
hud yer wheesht
in a bumfle
shes got a face like a... weel-skelpit erse, weel-kicked baw etc
am oan the bell
Whits fur ye'll no go by ye.
pigs
ah pauchled/pockled it!
Ok, big prizes for those getting the most right!!!
m xx
i'll let you all guess these ones....
fanjita
slaisters
maloneys
bawbag
goonie
baffies
slaters
sleekit bastard
eejit
fae
goany no
drouth
ran dan
dinnae fars yersel, yer at yer aunties hoose
hud yer wheesht
in a bumfle
shes got a face like a... weel-skelpit erse, weel-kicked baw etc
am oan the bell
Whits fur ye'll no go by ye.
pigs
ah pauchled/pockled it!
Ok, big prizes for those getting the most right!!!
m xx
Sex God
Quote by Freckledbird
Would any of the 'professionals' or 'proffesionals', care to decide which is the correct spelling?
professionals
knew you'd answer that.
Happy to be predictable
I think someone has already said it, but it is my absolute pet hate when I see this and it's spelt wrong.
I tend to think that anyone who actually writes it, just does it to make themselves look better, their job is probably run of the mill 9-5, bog standard office job, but they think that by putting 'professional' it perhaps adds a certain aspect of class?
I suppose Den and I could be classed as professionals as we're members of a professional body, but it would be cringeworthy to ever have that on our profile, and it is one of those 'no-no's', an instant turn off if I see it written in someones profile!
