Quote by takingitslow
Thats something, I had not thought of... one half of the couple wanting to go it alone. I had kind of assumed if you told your other half it was all or nothing. I'd never really thought about the woman wanting some time to herself so to speak.
I guess that sounds kind of sexist, but its just niavety. So much to learn still... sigh. A lot on here still confuses me.
Quote by postie
Yesturday eveing I was engaged in a thread were I had strong views on the subjuct matter.
I realise now that some of my comments may have been offensive to some people, and I wish to offer my sincere apoplogys to all those offended by my comments.
Sorry to allxx
(assuming smacking bottoms is ok with you? ) Quote by meat2pleaseu
god i've got a headache now
Quote by Pete_sw
OH, OK, sorry I should have known better. Really this is my mistake,
Hi, I'm Pete, partner to Caron_sw, formerly known as Katie_n_John, have been around here for quite some time ................................ :doh: now understand the reluctance .
ok ok an excuse ........... erm, its early and i have a hangover ............... sorry guys, wasn't thinking
Quote by bluexxx
:idea:
I just had a thought --- I'll say it before I have to go and have a lie down cos of the strain :lol2:
It also depends on the type of swinging -- I will explain...
Suppose I, as a bi fem swinger, met a vanilla guy and we started a relationship. He might think it wonderful that he gets to have ffm 3sums and fulfill all his lesbian voyeurism fantasies. Fair play to him. But I would not be happy with that, cos I'm a greedy sod. I like (on very rare occassions
) to have group sex with guys. My new partner might not like this at all, which would make me unhappy. Then I would have to make a choice --- only swing with girls and never have another guy in my life..... oooooooooohhhhhhhhhh noooooooooooooooooo.......... yeah, I could do it for a while, but would soon be finding ways to change the rules :rascal: . My new partne might get used to it, though it may cause jealousy and resentment. He might get the hang of mmfs and even mmmmmmmmmfs, but it might eat him up inside and he would become very unhappy. Where do we go from there?
If we sorted that little lot out, I would STILL feel restricted cos I like bi guys :twisted: . If my new partner was straight and didn't even like to think of bi male action, I would be unhappy. I would respect his view of course, but I would be unhappy nonetheless. We might suugest swinging apart on occassions, which would then result in more jealousy.....
Do you see where I'm going with this?
And even if a couple start off being happy with one type of swinging sooner or later one partner may want to try something new that would very much upset the apple cart.
That's where constant re-adressing of boundaries comes in with couples who swing. It takes a strong relationship to be successful in the swinging world, and it takes both partners to be very honest.
Bloody hell, I really do need a lie down.... did anyone follow any of that? :shock: :shock: :shock:
Quote by Shadow_Walker
And naughty, from what I've already gleamed from these posts I find it hard to imagine you being quite about this for 8 years!!:-p how did you mange it :gagged:
i'm the quiet. shy, retiring type me 
) it just gets harder and harder to know when the time is right and in the end you think its never going to be the right time to say "oh by the way....." had we not got a pc and found the swinging room i think i would never had said anything to this day, it was only cause i saw that swinging could work in my favour that i suggested we gave it a go, now he could have hit the roof and to be honest his first reaction was....why arn't i good enough for you any more?.....but it was thro sitting down and talking it thro we decided to give it a go and to be honest neither one of us has ever looked back and that was about 5 years ago now now sexually i started with women b4 men so i suppose you could say i have always had a sexual interest in women, however when i ment Paul (my now hubby) i wasn't sure how he would take this as back then i didn't really know about swinging and going with someone of the same sex was something i didn't really tell people due to the fact i never know how they would take it, so it was something i always kept under my hat so to speak, anyway to cut a long story short we met, i kept my gob shut and we got married........anyway as the years went by i suppose i missed being with women more and more then years later we got a pc :rascal: (can you see where this is going already ) and we stumbled by accident over a couple who was swingers and asked us if we wanted to meet them, after a few months of talking (ok so we was new ) we agreed to go only to find out it was infact a single guy living in the twilight zone or somewhere just as odd but he had put the idea in our heads and we had a chat and decided to go for it and thats when we found the msn chat room, as they was back then, now when we met our first couple you have to remember i was 'bi curious' as far as everyone else was concerned :huh: and this poor woman had promised to take things slow with me 
(bless her) but i couldn't contain my self and had to admit i was over her like a terrier down a rabbit hole 
and she even commented after that she did not believe i had never been with a woman b4 :uhoh: (busted) but i was a trooper and i insisted it was anyhow when they had gone Paul started asking me all these questions and i had to admit to my past and the reason why i suggested swinging etc and i did feel better but then he felt bad that i felt i couldn't talk about it and that he had missed out on 8 years of watching me shagging other women , so i guess in answer to your question in my experience you should be honest from the start, ok so you may put some people off but living a lie is even worse plus u never know they could be well up for it as well as i truely believe my hubby would have been had i told him from the start Quote by sexyfella
I am actually shocked - yes shocked - that anyone who is open minded enough to consider swinging is stuck in this narrow and misguided frame of reference.
Quote by bluexxx
I am actually shocked - yes shocked - that anyone who is open minded enough to consider swinging is stuck in this narrow and misguided frame of reference.
Quote by sexyfella
Personaly as a straight guy I find thought of of a female or anybody for that matter going up my arse disgusting and repulsive.
I think Im old fashioned in the sense that I belive a mans arse shouldnt be penatrated if he considers himself straight, after all how could he still class himself straight even if it was a woman that split him?
Any other straight guys have the same view?
Quote by bluexxx
I'm quite old fashioned when it comes to the straight guy thing and as such I belive that straight men are "MEN" and that real "MEN" as I would call them dont take it in the bum no matter how much they love the women thats providing the service.
And I see the act of a straight guy receiving anal as an act of homosexuality even though its a lady doing the work, because its not a "MAN" thing to do.
