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onlyme1981
Over 90 days ago
Bi-curious Female, 45
UK
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onlyme1981
Orgasminator
rotflmao rotflmao rotflmao
Sorry VenusnMars - didn't mean to scare you!
This one was doing the rounds at work today so I thought I'd share it with you all.
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onlyme1981
Orgasminator
Ok well this is a non sexual one but very embarassing all the same!
I was at a school fete when i was about 7 and I'd lost my mum. I was crying my little heart out and was looking round for her everywhere.
I suddenly spotted her and ran up to her (accidentally) pushing her over onto one of the tables which then promptly collapsed - along with my mum on it!
The whole crowd turned and stared at the sight - then I realised it wasn't even my mum! Just someone with the same hair do......... oh the shame! redface
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onlyme1981
Orgasminator
Please don't read if you are male and easily offended!
One day three men were hiking and unexpectedly came upon a large, raging,
violent river. They needed to get to the other side but had no idea of how
to do so.
The first man prayed to God saying 'Please God give me the strength to cross
the river'. Pfff! God gave him big arms and strong legs and he was able to
swim across the river in about two hours, after almost drowning a couple of
times.
Seeing this, the second man prayed to God saying 'please God give me the
strength and tools to cross the river'. Pfff! God gave him a rowboat and he
was able to row across the river in about an hour, after almost capsizing
the boat a couple of times.
The third man had seen how this worked out for the other two, so he also
prayed to God saying 'please God give me the strength and the tools and the
intelligence to cross the river'. Pfff! God turned him into a woman!!
She looked at the map, hiked upstream a couple of hundred yards, then walked
across the bridge!!!!!!!!!
Thought it was kind of funny!
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onlyme1981
Orgasminator
Thank you for the advice and concern (some of you :twisted: ) - looks like I'm not going to need it now though as the scab has now come off and I'm left with a scar!
I know that doesn't sound very nice at all but I couldn't think of anything that would make it sound better.
I'm hoping the scar will fade in time - I'm a bit self conscious about it though! confused
Anyone got a cure for scar's confused: lol
Thanks again.
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Especially thanks to LC passionkiss
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onlyme1981
Orgasminator
Does anyone have a cure for a bump on the head?
I fell down the stairs the other day and have seriously injured my back and I now have a big "scab like" thing on my forehead too!
It's not very attractive at all - are there any suggestions out there I can use to make it heal quicker?
My back is getting better but just need some help on the bump!
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onlyme1981
Orgasminator
I would never go naked and don't wear a bikini or a swimming cossie for that matter..... I'm always mostly covered up. I just don't have the body for it...... if I did then it'd be a different matter but I don't wanna inflict my body on anyone else! lol
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onlyme1981
Orgasminator
Hello
As I've not been abroad for ten or so years I wouldn't mind going anywhere!
My big dream is to visit New York at Christmas time with someone special - I would love that! (Any offers? lol )
I'd also like a lovely beach holiday somewhere like the Maldives but I'd have to lose a few pounds first!
Anyway, enough of dreaming.......it just aint gonna happen!
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onlyme1981
Orgasminator
Hmmm..... I think I may have to give up sooner rather than later! I now feel downright dirty and disgusting after some of the views on here!
Seriously though..... I know it's a filthy habit and that it affects those around you as well as yourself but like I said in previous posts i try to be considerate to non smokers. For instance I don't smoke in restaurants - ever - I don't smoke in the house as I have younger siblings and don't want it to affect them.
I think if pubs etc had better segregation and better venting systems then things would be a lot better. All the pubs I frequent have smoking areas but they are situated right next to the non smoking part - what's the point of that?
I do understand the point of view of a non smoker but equally non smokers should understand that sometimes it's not easy to give up. It is a genuine addiction.
I think that most smokers (well the ones I know anyway) are considerate of non smokers. I do sometimes feel like a leper though with all the anti smoking things going on - I know it's best to stop people starting to smoke but at the end of the day everyone should know the risks involved and if they don't - then where have they been?
Anyway, rant over - it's a subject I find annoyingly interesting!
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onlyme1981
Orgasminator
Hello.....thanks for all the replies. I think the general gist of things is that it's my choice to smoke but within reason. I don't smoke when I'm with people who don't smoke as I don't want it inflicted on them. Also at home I smoke outside in the garden. The only time I smoke when inside is in a pub/club or in my car!
Rogerthedragon: I'd prefer to do the swinging than smoke! I can go without a cigarette - I'm not totally dependent on them.
I agree with those who said it's like a private members club - it really is. I made friends with the smokers first in my office because you have to go smoke outside and it's like the meeting area where all the gossip or stress gets vented!
The psychological aspect of smoking is going to be hard to beat. I really do feel that after a really shite day having a cigarette really does calm me down and make me feel better. The cost is another bad thing about it but I'll continue to pay whatever I have to until I'm ready to give up. biggrin
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onlyme1981
Orgasminator
I'm trying to diet as well as get fit.... I couldn't possibly give up smoking as well! hehehe
I'm not a heavy smoker anyway..... I probably could give it up if I really tried but I have a lot going on in my life at the moment and the extra stress that would bring I can do without right now.
Like I said, I know the risks but I'm happy to accept my fate. I mean we're all going to die of something if you believe what you read in the news everyday. I'm not being flippant when I say that either.... there are health risks with everything we do nowadays and I know smoking probably doesn't help matters but I'll give up soon!
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onlyme1981
Orgasminator
Hello!
Ok, I'm probably gonna start a bit of a war here but I was just wondering what non-smokers think about smokers.
Not in general....I mean non smokers can probably smell a smoker 10 miles away so is it really off putting?
I personally am a smoker - I don't have any intention of giving up at the moment. I enjoy it. I know the risks involved and the cost etc but I'm prepared to put up with it for the time being. I'm not saying I'll never give up because at some point I'd like to - Just to clarify!
Anyway, back to the original question - I know that if I'm going to be with a non smoker I won't smoke for a few hours beforehand as i don't think it's fair for them to have to smell it and probably taste it too! But I was just wondering about anyone elses point's of view.
When I've had boyfriends they've been non smokers and they have never complained about it - but just wanted to see other's opinions.
I'm really bored and this is the only thing I could come up with to post!
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onlyme1981
Orgasminator
Hmmmm mine was last week - Tuesday I think..... erm or maybe Wednesday?!?! Can't remember! hehehe lol
Though It's fair to say I don't get it often so I should at least remember it when I do!
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onlyme1981
Orgasminator
Hello..... I was reading The Sun today (well yesterday technically but as I haven't gone to bed yet it's still today!)...anyway, I was reading Dear Deidre and there was a problem titled "Secret Life of Swinger Hubby" It went like this:
Dear Deidre, I've discovered my husband has secretly signed up to a swinging website. I am devastated. We're in our 30's and have been together for 11years. We were happy despite a few ups and downs. That all changed a week ago when I found sexually explicit photo's of him on the computer, plus a chat log to a couple. He says he was planning to meet them for sex and that he's sorry. I'm open minded but it's hard to accept what he's done.
Deidre replies: Your husband needs to know he must be more than just sorry if you are to stay together. He must earn your love and trust all over again. Make sure he reads my leaflet on looking after your relationship and makes positive efforts.
Ok....who was it then?
Seriously though..... just wondered what anyone's thoughts on this are. Would you class it as cheating/adultery? Is swinging in general technically cheating even if you both know what's going on? Anyone else been in the same situation?
Sorry for the long post...... just thought it might make a good - ish topic!
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onlyme1981
Orgasminator
Hello....me again!
Just wanted to say thank you for the support.... I know I kind of interrupted the thread there...... but it got me really angry!
Thank you again..... you are all so lovely!
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onlyme1981
Orgasminator
Hello,
Probably a really stupid question but why is everyone on here (and also people I chat to on aol) all up north!
I've seen a few on here from down South but not that many.... surely there must be others around?
Make yourselves known....I'm starting to feel inadequate! hehehe
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onlyme1981
Orgasminator
Thanks WBB - I know it's only words and it shouldn't hurt but sometimes enough is enough! I will get even one day! :twisted:
I envy you for your confidence by the way! smile Any tips? hehehe
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onlyme1981
Orgasminator
I agree with WBB...... when I posted an ad I got lots of replies and I weeded through them and sent pics back to all the ones I felt were genuine and had taken the effort to send a decent reply.
I stated in my ad what size I was so really it shouldn't have come as much of a shock.... but some men really made me feel ugly. I've always hade a complex about my weight and my looks and this just made me feel even worse!
I had one reply which went along the lines of WBB's - basically saying that I'm (quote) "All right in a fat kind of way" and that (quote) "Not many blokes would want to be seen with someone your size".
This is really hurtful coming from someone who has judged on appearance alone. I know there has to be some attraction there in order to have sex etc but why be so damn nasty and presume that no one would be seen dead with me? mad
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onlyme1981
Orgasminator
Thank you for clearing that up for me! I've wondered what It meant for a while now and knew someone on here would know!
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onlyme1981
Orgasminator
BBW stand for? I might be being thick here but not up on the terminology!
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onlyme1981
Orgasminator
Hello biggrin
My wishes would be (in no particular order):
To find true happiness
To have a job I love doing and that i'm good at
To not have to worry about money all the time
To be able to accept myself as I am and not how I think people want me to be
To end all the famine, suffering and war etc in the world
To make everyone treat others how they would like to be treated themselves
To find a cure for all life threatening diseases
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onlyme1981
Orgasminator
Well I for one have a massive bum - can't see how anyone would like it but I've had some pretty nice compliments so far!
I've been trying to get a bit of a tan as at the moment it's as white as the snow! The rest of my body is pretty tanned though..... which is nice!
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onlyme1981
Orgasminator
Hiya
My opinion is on the men's parts is that it's nice for it to be trimmed but I don't like the shaven look. I'm not sure why - just doesn't really appeal to me.
My personal persuasion is to have my "lips" and surrounding area's shaven and the rest just trimmed - like a triangle shape. I haven't gone for waxing as i tried it on my legs once and it hurt soooo much! I can't imagine the pain i would feel if I were to wax "down there"!
I have shaved it all off completely before but I felt a bit strange and it takes a lot of grooming to keep it smooth!
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onlyme1981
Orgasminator
Hello
I just wondered if it's me or not but the chatroom seems to be full of abuse!
I've recently registered and been in twice only to find people abusing each other just because they have different opinions or the plain fact that they are bored and want someone to pick on.
I know it's an over 18's site and chatroom but it annoys me really because there's no need for it. I wanted to go in there to maybe "meet" (not in the literal sense) a few people to chat to on a regular basis but no such luck!
Does anyone from the boards use the room? Everyone on here seems really nice so just wondering who is using it as they can't be you lot surely?
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onlyme1981
Orgasminator
I'm probably being thick but when I click on the chatroom link all i get is 3 boxes with actions (eg.... say hello to the room etc, emoticons and another one!), photo ad jump and the rules in the window - nothing else.
I haven't yet registered because I followed the user guide thingy and every time i click on the link it just comes up with that.... nowhere to put in a username etc.
Can someone help? It's probably me being stupid though!
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