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roger743
Over 90 days ago
Straight Male, 49
Forum
Personally, I'd say having a webcam forum would be the ideal solution - it'll allow people to easily contact others and discuss camming stuff and all that business. There's clearly a demand for camming and while, yes, there's other camming-specific sites, there's also other swinging sites out there so I don't see this as a reason not to have a cam area. Obviously it's an extra workload on the mods, so maybe another mod or two could be recruited from camming regulars to handle this forum?
I'd say give it a go. If it doesn't work, you can always just delete the extra forum.
I'd say give it a go. If it doesn't work, you can always just delete the extra forum.
Problem is there are two types of newcomer who come here. People who read around, who will find this excellent guide and several others, and read it and absorb it and post something very literate and charming. And those who don't, who wouldn't read this if it was surrounded by glowing gold stars and contained next week's winning lottery numbers, and post "HEY GOT DICK WANNA SHAG" thirty seconds after finding this place. And ironically, it's this second group who need to read this the most.
It's like those all-bran adverts. Nine our of ten people still aren't eating enough fibre... but the ones who watch the advert and start eating more bran are the one out of ten people who were eating enough fibre to begin with anyway.
It's like those all-bran adverts. Nine our of ten people still aren't eating enough fibre... but the ones who watch the advert and start eating more bran are the one out of ten people who were eating enough fibre to begin with anyway.
Pop quiz. You log onto the forum. You spot a newcomer doing something that's obviously "wrong". What do you do?
Give them the benefit of your experience and share a little bit of advice that might improve their chances of actually achieving what they seek.
Let them get on with it; who cares if they fail?
Seems to me you're damned if you do and damned if you don't. Try to help the newcomers and you get moaned at for being anti-newbie. Don't and suddenly you're part of a mega-clique that doesn't talk to newbies. We were all newbies once, and we all tripped over our shoelaces and fell down (and some of us still are), and we all had people who picked us up and dusted us down and set us upon our way again. If you're a newcomer to almost any sphere of life you'll find yourself in the company of people who've been doing that thing for longer than you have; that's nothing to be ashamed of or to get defensive over. We all start knowing nothing and learn from other people and our own mistakes.
Give them the benefit of your experience and share a little bit of advice that might improve their chances of actually achieving what they seek.
Let them get on with it; who cares if they fail?
Seems to me you're damned if you do and damned if you don't. Try to help the newcomers and you get moaned at for being anti-newbie. Don't and suddenly you're part of a mega-clique that doesn't talk to newbies. We were all newbies once, and we all tripped over our shoelaces and fell down (and some of us still are), and we all had people who picked us up and dusted us down and set us upon our way again. If you're a newcomer to almost any sphere of life you'll find yourself in the company of people who've been doing that thing for longer than you have; that's nothing to be ashamed of or to get defensive over. We all start knowing nothing and learn from other people and our own mistakes.
Quote by juliett49
Oooooooooh noooooooooo - bacon. I can hear those little pigs oinking as I type
Hey, it's almost cannibalism for me. And what about the poor little unborn chickens? :cry:
Mind you, if you read the incredient list on the back of the packet, you'd never get around to eating it... What is "Mono- and Di-Acetyltartaric Esters of Mono- and Di-Glycerides of Fatty Acids" when it's at home?
Quote by juliett49
Today, for my dinner, I had Baxters Tomato and Brown Lentil soup, followed by crumpets laced with butter.
Yummmmmy. :lickface:
I usually make my own sandwiches, but I had to pop out in my lunch hour today so I picked up a bacon & egg sarnie from Superdrug while I was in town.
Presumably, you wouldn't be able to get onto the kind of "BBW Site" you're after because you're not a BBW.
Whatever open-membership sex-related website you go to, there'll always be an overwhelming majority of single males, because that's the demographic of sex-surfers on the Internet. I don't know of any specifically BBW-oriented sites, but I'd imagine yes there'd be less single men - but there'd also be less single women. You can shoot me out of a tree with a water-cannon if the ratio's aren't the same though.
Whatever open-membership sex-related website you go to, there'll always be an overwhelming majority of single males, because that's the demographic of sex-surfers on the Internet. I don't know of any specifically BBW-oriented sites, but I'd imagine yes there'd be less single men - but there'd also be less single women. You can shoot me out of a tree with a water-cannon if the ratio's aren't the same though.
Quote by Mister_Discreet
<@David> Yay I get laid today! Been a month.... needing it by now
<@Sony> ...........
<@Sony> TMI TMI TMI
<@David> Only a few hundred pounds but its better than nothing
<Malpine> Thanks for the info
<@David> eh?
<@David> damn i meant PAID
<@David> I get PAID today
<@David> dammit
:laughabove: :laughabove: :laughabove: :laughabove: :laughabove: :laughabove: :laughabove: :laughabove: :laughabove: :laughabove: :laughabove: :laughabove:
Nothing like a good old-fashioned freudian slip. :lol2:
Quote by funin and mike
the trouble with him also he would go days and days without washing xx
well i told him about his personnal hygeine and how much he smelt down below xx
he did change for abut 3 days then back to his old habits xx
My ex-girlfriend used to tell me it turned her on to wash my penis. I always did my best to clean if beforehand so I'm not sure if she was telling the truth or my personal hygene regime was defective too... :shock:
I don't think I've ever had a "crap shag", although I reckon I've been one once or twice! Besides, having to ask women "is it in yet?" can't be a good sign...
Quote by Sarah1448
No, I dont miss the old days, the current and future days are what I look forward to.
Ah, to be young and innocent again... I used to think life was one big juicy apple just waiting to be peeled. Nobody told me there'd be worms. Why did nobody tell me about the worms? Isn't this one of the things we should be teaching our kids in schools? A valuable life-lession that every young adult needs? Is this what I'm paying my taxes for, for kids not to learn stuff like this in school?
I think it's absolutely criminal. And you know what else is criminal? Packs of pre-cooked meat. They all have these "easy open" film lids where all you have to do is peel off the film, except the film seems to be stuck on with Superglue and won't come off even when you tie it to the car's bumper and rev it up.
And while I'm at it, what's with town planners these days? Why is every estate a labyrinth, and why is visiting anyone more akin to an adventure from Greek mythology than a simple journey? I keep feeling like I should be unwinding some wool behind me, else I'll never get out and I'll be eaten by druggies or minotaurs...
And what about jumpers? Why do wooly jumpers always go bobbly when you wash them? It never used to happen when I was a boy, when the only bobbles were on the top of my hat. And those cute little mittens... why did they have bobbles on? Surely that wasn't a practical addition to the garment? And why do my bedsheets never stay on - why am I always having to pull them back up the bed and straighten them out? And why is my gas bill £94 when my central heating hasn't worked for half the quarter? And why is it always such hard work to clean the bath?
And why's it called the Yellow Pages anyway?
Thanks, I feel better now.
Quote by Mister_Discreet
Yes, the total number of unwanted PMs will go down, so while + people will get a higher percentage of them, you'll actually get less numerically.
That's predicated on people learning from their mistakes though, isn't it? The times I've been in the chatroom, people told off for PVT-ing without permission just seem to come back under another name and do it again a hell of a lot...
Quote by bluexxx
Utter nonsense! I've been in the chat room a fair bit over the weekend, both as bluexxx and as someone called cranky :shock: . bluexxx gets spoken to a lot but cranky, despite every effort to join in has never been spoken to once by anyone.... hellos and goodbyes go ignored. Funny that.... Anyway, back to the point......
To be fair, I'd think twice about talking to someone named after a 1980s comedy double-act... ;) ;) ;)
Quote by JudyTV
we will always reply to well worded, polite responses to our ads especially if they fit the required criteria.
Who is "we"? You might. But most people aren't as nice as you.
Quote by JudyTV
Now let me tell you this roger, one guy who whinged about this several months ago was one of the one line " Fancy a shag brigade". Guess what - he still is, he cant even remember who he has already sent replies to, either that or he is just not very bright.
So he's a pillock. And..?
Quote by JudyTV
Its really quite simple, if you respond with the correct wording and fit the criteria you will in most cases get a polite reply back, end of really.
In which case, I failed to respond with the correct wording and fit the criteria 118 times out of 124. Except I did fit the criteria, every time with one exception, so it must've been the words. Makes me think of Gandalf, trying to open the Mines of Moria.
Which brings us full circle:
Quote by JudyTV
It is obvious the change has to come from those replying and not those placing the ads
Hows someone to know what to change unless they're told? I've read all the Advice For Single Men - hell, I even wrote some of it - but what that Advice does is stop you looking like a moron. What it specifically doesn't do is tell you specific ways to attract people (and with good cause; everyone's different and everyone's attracted to different things). I'm sure lots of people putting effort into replying to ads are happy to accept if their wording is not "correct", but maybe they'd like a clue as to how to change it?
ops: :oops: :oops:Quote by JudyTV
Look at it this way; the people who can't be bothered to reply to perfectly decent invited responses are obviously concerned only with achieving their own pleasure, thus would probably be a "crap shag" anyway.
This is in part true roger but not everyone is a crap shag just because they dont reply.
I'm not 100% sure you realise I'm parodying one of the frequent arguments against effort-free postings in Let's Meet Up ("if you can't be bothered to write more than one line, you probably can't be bothered to satisfy your partner")?
Quote by JudyTV
When your in box continually fills up with pictures of someones cock when you clearly asked for face pics. One liners that say quite disgraceful things let alone replies that are disturbing and verging on the freaky.
Personally, I do find it very depressing that this comes up every time the issue of replying is discussed, because nobody but nobody is saying that such mails are deserving of replies.
Quote by JudyTV
If perhaps some of the more blatant unwanted replies to ads were published (a good thing in my opinion) then sympathies may lie differently.
I think anyone who's read this forum for a decent amount of time will have seen lots and lots of examples. But again, I see this as a bit of a red herring; nobody's talking about responding to replies that are way off the mark, or abusive, or rude, or ignorant, or... or any of these things.
Now, fair enough, art is a subjective thing and one man's Romeo & Juliet is another man's Plan 9 From Outer Space. Everyone thinks what they write is a work of seductive genius and it rarely is. But people will never learn unless they're told they're wrong. If replies to adverts are of an overwhelmingly disappointing quality, it's because we've fashioned a culture where crapness is allowed to rampage unpunished. (And also because 95% of men are complete morons.)
Quote by JudyTV
It could just change your mind if you you yourself was on the end of some of these replies.
I've received some abusive messages myself in my time.
Quote by JudyTV
I notice most of the moaning about replies does in fact come from a certain quarter.
I've noticed it from two quarters - "single men" and, albeit to a lesser extent, "couples". And also "single women" moan about replies, but they moan about a different aspect of replies.
Quote by JudyTV
The fact is people have busy lives and really don't have the time to send out responses to the many replies that they get.
Yes, but people also have busy lives and don't have the time to reply to adverts. The river runs both ways; I'll wager nobody but nobody is advertising or replying solely for the benefit of other people. Everyone wants something - friendship, personal satisfaction, money, prestige, orgasms, whatever. Nobody is performing a public service - the point of swinging, as it was always explained to me, was two (or three, or four, or whatever) people coming together to mutually fulfill fantasies and/or desires. And that mutuality surely has to start from the beginning - it surely isn't fair to expect people to find time in their "busy lives" to woo you if you yourself aren't willing to find a few seconds in your equally "busy life" to respond?
Quote by JudyTV
Perhaps if there was a way of responding anonymously then it would be different, then we could too could use a list of cut and paste responses to all replies.
