Having come from the north and half irish by ancestry chatting is second nature - oh and I did kiss that stone thingy in the 'castle'.
I was pleasantly surprised recently when taking a bus and three trains to get to Norwich just how many people spoke to me first or responded when I spoke to them. Of course it was not the saaf-eest was it?
Perhaps public transport is a great leveller and doesn't contain people who need to be in a car for egotistical or coccooning reasons?
No doubt we will all be going back to public transport as our oil continues to run out? That would negate my trip to Norwich, which was to buy a car! Must go to the 'sexual things to do list' thread as sex in the back seat of a car is something I have missed out on for some unknown reason!
Shay
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shayz1
Over 90 days ago
Straight Male, 65
Forum
Sexlightened
(Sorry I have not read the whole thread!)
The thing about dreams is they come entirely from your own experiences and the "show" is entirely your own brains work. The purpose is to rationalise what is going on inside your brain/life.
In short it is an evaluation process that only gets going for a short periods during sleep. Although it is scary sometimes it can actually be a good thing. It might be telling you that someone died but you felt a great sense of loss. In other words you could really value that person which is positive. It could also be that you depend on that person a lot which may be positive or negative depending on how you feel about it.
Dreams are an interesting mix of logic and emotion, getting in touch with them can be a powerful tool.
If you do want to explore a dream - in guaranteed confidence - please let me know as I have a pretty good record of helping people with troublesome dreams? Please do not suffer with it either, if I am not good enough then a quick word with your doctor can get you referred to someone who can help?
(I am also writing this for others who may read it too)
Good Luck
Shay
The thing about dreams is they come entirely from your own experiences and the "show" is entirely your own brains work. The purpose is to rationalise what is going on inside your brain/life.
In short it is an evaluation process that only gets going for a short periods during sleep. Although it is scary sometimes it can actually be a good thing. It might be telling you that someone died but you felt a great sense of loss. In other words you could really value that person which is positive. It could also be that you depend on that person a lot which may be positive or negative depending on how you feel about it.
Dreams are an interesting mix of logic and emotion, getting in touch with them can be a powerful tool.
If you do want to explore a dream - in guaranteed confidence - please let me know as I have a pretty good record of helping people with troublesome dreams? Please do not suffer with it either, if I am not good enough then a quick word with your doctor can get you referred to someone who can help?
(I am also writing this for others who may read it too)
Good Luck
Shay
Sexlightened
The federacion espanola de naturismo website gives loads of places in spain.
Nerja reference:
"Calas de Maro" (Maro bay), on the road N-340, km. 220, next to the "Cuevas de Nerja" (Caves of Nerja) park. "Almuñécar"
possibly have more info in my collection for when I get round to a tour of spanish beaches.
let me know if you want more information?
Shay
Sexlightened
Well pornography is sexually stimulating pictures or words.
Two things to bear in mind is what is portrayed and who the receiver is.
Photographing people naked is not pornography until the recipient does not like it.
What people can find arousing is variable right up to the absolutely bizarre and the members of this group will have some very varied ideas I am sure of what turns them on.
For some a naked body is all about sex, which as a naturist, I find disappointing and as a human being is dangerous to women and vulnerable people as showing anything could be deemed invitational.
Shay
Two things to bear in mind is what is portrayed and who the receiver is.
Photographing people naked is not pornography until the recipient does not like it.
What people can find arousing is variable right up to the absolutely bizarre and the members of this group will have some very varied ideas I am sure of what turns them on.
For some a naked body is all about sex, which as a naturist, I find disappointing and as a human being is dangerous to women and vulnerable people as showing anything could be deemed invitational.
Shay
Sexlightened
Following the suns great reporting of Liverpool FC (great club but no supporter) I am with most of Liverpool in not reading it even when it is offered free.
I had thought the protest had died down but recently on TV they had Alexi Sayle in a newsagent offering free copies of the sun and no one took a copy - priceless.
Vote with your feet, the internet has moving pictures for porn newspapers don't. Come to think about it perhaps moving pictures would confuse sun readers too much.
I think really the price has a lot to do with readership. Most people do not want to read news in depth just keep up with events and gossip.
Shay
I had thought the protest had died down but recently on TV they had Alexi Sayle in a newsagent offering free copies of the sun and no one took a copy - priceless.
Vote with your feet, the internet has moving pictures for porn newspapers don't. Come to think about it perhaps moving pictures would confuse sun readers too much.
I think really the price has a lot to do with readership. Most people do not want to read news in depth just keep up with events and gossip.
Shay
Sexlightened
This is a massive issue with cyclists and has been for years.
The helmet issue started not out of concern of cycling injuries but big business promotion of a new styled fashion. Prior to this helmets were for racers.
The benefits of helmets are minimal to the population as a whole. If you really wanted to save peoples brains than why do we not wear helmets when driving our cars? When we are walking to the bus stop or in our houses? Just how many brains a year are we saving?
Helmets and cycle safety is a subject that the Transport Lobby wants in order to victimise vulnerable road users and to remove them from the road.
Our real problem with helmets is our own supressed fears about how dangerous driving a car really is.
Still with oil prices going up no one will be able to afford to run a car or buy a plastic helmet!!?? Joy!
Shay
The helmet issue started not out of concern of cycling injuries but big business promotion of a new styled fashion. Prior to this helmets were for racers.
The benefits of helmets are minimal to the population as a whole. If you really wanted to save peoples brains than why do we not wear helmets when driving our cars? When we are walking to the bus stop or in our houses? Just how many brains a year are we saving?
Helmets and cycle safety is a subject that the Transport Lobby wants in order to victimise vulnerable road users and to remove them from the road.
Our real problem with helmets is our own supressed fears about how dangerous driving a car really is.
Still with oil prices going up no one will be able to afford to run a car or buy a plastic helmet!!?? Joy!
Shay
Sexlightened
Hello,
Great post Srne, Well explained and discussed. I think it is great you have managed to find a positive complomise and that credits your relationship and makes you stronger. It also gives you an understanding where you 'know the rules' you are playing to and will enable you to go forward.
However, if it is something Mrs wants to do she also needs to reinforce her involvement and progress by acquiring her own likes and dislikes. I hope your man is mr right and that will help but perhaps discover what she did like and did she dare do with him what she really wanted to do. IMHO you need to work on her feedback perhaps so that she becomes a fuller partner and then you can both relax more and a constructive spiral starts?
best wishes,
Shay
Great post Srne, Well explained and discussed. I think it is great you have managed to find a positive complomise and that credits your relationship and makes you stronger. It also gives you an understanding where you 'know the rules' you are playing to and will enable you to go forward.
However, if it is something Mrs wants to do she also needs to reinforce her involvement and progress by acquiring her own likes and dislikes. I hope your man is mr right and that will help but perhaps discover what she did like and did she dare do with him what she really wanted to do. IMHO you need to work on her feedback perhaps so that she becomes a fuller partner and then you can both relax more and a constructive spiral starts?
best wishes,
Shay
Sexlightened
Being Vegetarian is not down to choice but also suitability. I do not know when we will get round to understanding that everybody is different, nutritionally, as well as everything else.
Everybodies metabolisms are slightly different. I have two sons both of whom were vegetarian for their first years and that changed when they went to parties where sausages abounded! However, one is keen on fruit and the other is really keen on veg (even sprouts!!). Mum was happily vegetarian until the sausages came along.
For me I was verging on the vegetarian when I met my (to be) wife and was veggie at home for a while but I could never quite get my metabolism round being veggie. There were other factors such as playing a lot of sport which is a common problem in preventing vegetarianism. Also it was quite a stressful time as the relationship moved forward quite quickly into house and kids mode. None of this helps.
My brother has made the leap and it suits him. A good friend of mine and one of the most intelligent women I know is vegan. Both hold down demanding and important jobs, are popular with colleagues and friends and are very healthy active people. Probably becasue they are free of the effects of eating too much meat in a normal western diet.
What people really do not like is anyone who makes a concious decision about their life and chooses something that is right for them and is justifiable. It makes them vulnerable by showing their ignorance. Also, historically, the first people to buck the trend are geniuses and nutters which automatically castigates vegetarianism, the pioneers of which looked ill and pale - no recommendation.
Do find out what suits you though!
Can anyone thing of a better description for an alternating veggie/carnivore rathere than variable omnivore?
bon appetite!
Shay
ps a big factor in what you can switch in your diet is what you were trained to eat before the age of ten. As you become conditioned gut wise by what you are brought up on in those early years.
Everybodies metabolisms are slightly different. I have two sons both of whom were vegetarian for their first years and that changed when they went to parties where sausages abounded! However, one is keen on fruit and the other is really keen on veg (even sprouts!!). Mum was happily vegetarian until the sausages came along.
For me I was verging on the vegetarian when I met my (to be) wife and was veggie at home for a while but I could never quite get my metabolism round being veggie. There were other factors such as playing a lot of sport which is a common problem in preventing vegetarianism. Also it was quite a stressful time as the relationship moved forward quite quickly into house and kids mode. None of this helps.
My brother has made the leap and it suits him. A good friend of mine and one of the most intelligent women I know is vegan. Both hold down demanding and important jobs, are popular with colleagues and friends and are very healthy active people. Probably becasue they are free of the effects of eating too much meat in a normal western diet.
What people really do not like is anyone who makes a concious decision about their life and chooses something that is right for them and is justifiable. It makes them vulnerable by showing their ignorance. Also, historically, the first people to buck the trend are geniuses and nutters which automatically castigates vegetarianism, the pioneers of which looked ill and pale - no recommendation.
Do find out what suits you though!
Can anyone thing of a better description for an alternating veggie/carnivore rathere than variable omnivore?
bon appetite!
Shay
ps a big factor in what you can switch in your diet is what you were trained to eat before the age of ten. As you become conditioned gut wise by what you are brought up on in those early years.
Sexlightened
It's not something I have knowingly done but then I have not always been aware of other peoples motives. I assume if they want me they want me for some positive reason but it depends on how well you know the other person and their relationships?
I have a rule not to have sex with partners of friends (unless invited!) but if they tell you its all over - what do you do? I have turned down two women for that reason and in one case regretted it later. Still how many times have you missed a bus? You just hope another one comes along soon!
Shay
I have a rule not to have sex with partners of friends (unless invited!) but if they tell you its all over - what do you do? I have turned down two women for that reason and in one case regretted it later. Still how many times have you missed a bus? You just hope another one comes along soon!
Shay
Sexlightened
Wouldn't you just start with her fantasy and explore that. First of all she should appreciate your interest and positive attitude towards it? Then keep talking about that and how it might happen getting on to some other areas that might also be mutual a bit later on?
Shay
Shay
Sexlightened
Firstly, you will find very few, if any, experts who say global warming is not happening. How much is more to the point. If it is true there is a threshold beyond which there will be more than a few problems, then we may need to panic but no one knows if it is true.
Secondly, what is more important IMHO is that we are polluting ourselves to death. Look at our refuse dumps and think where all the rainwater that falls on them is going - back into rivers and drinking water, out to see and back as rain. Look at the oceans and there, in all areas are oil particles and plastic wastes breaking down into harmful chemicals in every cubic meter of water and that affects the fish we eat. Currently the levels of food chain pollution is low but higher animals like fish and people accumulate these pollutants.
The way of preventing this is as stated for global warming, reduce, re-use and recycle. The other biggie here is use less fuel by insulating your house better and reducing your use of the car (if prices havn't made you do that
)
The third point I would like to make is that if you do nothing it isn't worth me doing anything and governments will do nothing. Everybody has to say and do something positive to get change. Please join in? Apathy wins us nothing.
Secondly, what is more important IMHO is that we are polluting ourselves to death. Look at our refuse dumps and think where all the rainwater that falls on them is going - back into rivers and drinking water, out to see and back as rain. Look at the oceans and there, in all areas are oil particles and plastic wastes breaking down into harmful chemicals in every cubic meter of water and that affects the fish we eat. Currently the levels of food chain pollution is low but higher animals like fish and people accumulate these pollutants.
The way of preventing this is as stated for global warming, reduce, re-use and recycle. The other biggie here is use less fuel by insulating your house better and reducing your use of the car (if prices havn't made you do that
)The third point I would like to make is that if you do nothing it isn't worth me doing anything and governments will do nothing. Everybody has to say and do something positive to get change. Please join in? Apathy wins us nothing.
Sexlightened
Hi,
I can see why you have so many photos Mrs Gands, you are so photogenic!
Anyway I was just interested in your lack of venues as much as meeting you. I am based between Daventry and Banbury and if you were willing to trip down on tuesday nights when I sometimes hang out on my way home from a night out I would be glad to oblige your desires!?
best wishes,
Shay
I think I should do some research of new locations further north - I'll let you know?
I can see why you have so many photos Mrs Gands, you are so photogenic!
Anyway I was just interested in your lack of venues as much as meeting you. I am based between Daventry and Banbury and if you were willing to trip down on tuesday nights when I sometimes hang out on my way home from a night out I would be glad to oblige your desires!?
best wishes,
Shay
I think I should do some research of new locations further north - I'll let you know?
Sexlightened
Normally the range of blutooth items is short, typically less than 10 metres, so you need to be close-ish. Could make the anticipation of meeting someone in a bar more exciting - guessing who your bleep is going to find. Or, who is going to rush out of the room in a hurry! 
Shay
Shay
Sexlightened
I always thought that one of the advantages of being a man was that we had the opportunity to do everything except have babies? When could women walk around topless?
Women have always been restricted in the way they are allowed to conduct their lives - isn't that what the sexual revolution was about?
It works both ways!
Enjoy what you can or have the opportunity to do before it disappears?
Women have always been restricted in the way they are allowed to conduct their lives - isn't that what the sexual revolution was about?
It works both ways!
Enjoy what you can or have the opportunity to do before it disappears?
Sexlightened
I get this if I hold back too long and seem to go past the point of no return. Either mentally or physically take a break and start the build up again?
Perhaps you are in too much control, too tired, not getting the right kind of stimulus or just got things on your mind?
However another way of looking at it may be to see it as a high plateau and not the pointiest peak? The view from the top is just as good but goes on a lot longer?
Perhaps you are in too much control, too tired, not getting the right kind of stimulus or just got things on your mind?
However another way of looking at it may be to see it as a high plateau and not the pointiest peak? The view from the top is just as good but goes on a lot longer?
Sexlightened
Well ithink children should know all about babies and where they come from in language and detail appropriate for their age.
For too long we have worked with ignorance described as innocence and can see the consequence of kids learning first from each other.
Its a parental responsibility to create a constructive framework of family life that allows discussion and learning of the issues involved.
That is not going to happen in school - would I trust teachers in what amounts to formal teaching to do anything other than perhaps describe the biology and some main pointers regarding health and social consequences? Having said that I am aware that some parents are not going to or are not capable of giving the right information and perhaps we need someone like a GP (but not a GP) to give that advice if parents couldn't? But definitely not a teacher.
For too long we have worked with ignorance described as innocence and can see the consequence of kids learning first from each other.
Its a parental responsibility to create a constructive framework of family life that allows discussion and learning of the issues involved.
That is not going to happen in school - would I trust teachers in what amounts to formal teaching to do anything other than perhaps describe the biology and some main pointers regarding health and social consequences? Having said that I am aware that some parents are not going to or are not capable of giving the right information and perhaps we need someone like a GP (but not a GP) to give that advice if parents couldn't? But definitely not a teacher.
Sexlightened
Well I was curious first and then convinced that gay males must have something going for them. So I started in the obvious place - my own bum. It was not comfortable at all! Too quick.
So back to the drawing board. Obviously there was no natural lubrication so that was sorted and made things a lot easier. The nervous endings around the anus are closely wirde to the sex organs and can be very aroused without penetration. After that the prostrate can be stimulated although that might be too sensitive for some apparently. If I get a hard on stimulating my bum really does make the orgasm much more intense but it does not make me orgasm on its own.
The reason for explaining this is that I found that it seems to be the same in women so if I get in there then it is time to aid with a little stimulation to the clittoral area (is that the bit of beach near the c?) and that makes it more intense for her too.
However, I do find just having the tip of my penis going in and out of the anus always brings me off like nothing ever does and I do not know why except the slightly tighter grip and the sensitivity of the tip is perfect?
I read once that it took a guy two years of gradual progression with foreplay to get his partner to succeed in getting comfortable anal sex and my personal experience is that it can sometimes take months to get to that stage - but I think it was worth it for both of us!
I think of it now as another dimension to sex like oral or toys.
Still to try being done by strap-on though.
As for the domination thing. Yes it can be a domination thing but that is true of all sex. Some like the domination - I like the sharing and exploring
Shay
So back to the drawing board. Obviously there was no natural lubrication so that was sorted and made things a lot easier. The nervous endings around the anus are closely wirde to the sex organs and can be very aroused without penetration. After that the prostrate can be stimulated although that might be too sensitive for some apparently. If I get a hard on stimulating my bum really does make the orgasm much more intense but it does not make me orgasm on its own.
The reason for explaining this is that I found that it seems to be the same in women so if I get in there then it is time to aid with a little stimulation to the clittoral area (is that the bit of beach near the c?) and that makes it more intense for her too.
However, I do find just having the tip of my penis going in and out of the anus always brings me off like nothing ever does and I do not know why except the slightly tighter grip and the sensitivity of the tip is perfect?
I read once that it took a guy two years of gradual progression with foreplay to get his partner to succeed in getting comfortable anal sex and my personal experience is that it can sometimes take months to get to that stage - but I think it was worth it for both of us!
I think of it now as another dimension to sex like oral or toys.
Still to try being done by strap-on though.
As for the domination thing. Yes it can be a domination thing but that is true of all sex. Some like the domination - I like the sharing and exploring
Shay
Sexlightened
Hi,
Sorry, you had no audience! Seems a shame given the people looking for a beautiful sight such as yours! If you are out and about on tuesday next drop me a line and guarantee a voyeur at the very least - the weather doesn't bother me - you could make my mercury rise!
Good luck
Shay
Sorry, you had no audience! Seems a shame given the people looking for a beautiful sight such as yours! If you are out and about on tuesday next drop me a line and guarantee a voyeur at the very least - the weather doesn't bother me - you could make my mercury rise!
Good luck
Shay
Sexlightened
Every right to be there - was there an alternative? Was she a tourist, those trailers are nifty for carrying your gear without adding to control problems with panniers.
Where I live there are few footpaths and you should see the mistakes motorists make all the time and the fuss about "their" road.
How responsible was everyone else that they were driving in a manner that lead to emergency avoidance??
Oh, and her Carbon footprint was massively less than the road users! She has a right to feel self-righteous too?
Every right to be there!
Shay
Where I live there are few footpaths and you should see the mistakes motorists make all the time and the fuss about "their" road.
How responsible was everyone else that they were driving in a manner that lead to emergency avoidance??
Oh, and her Carbon footprint was massively less than the road users! She has a right to feel self-righteous too?
Every right to be there!
Shay
Sexlightened
If any one wanted to analyse why there are limited numbers of people using the forum or what may or may notbe wrong with the forum. They would not have to go any further than this single thread.
Amongst the obvious features are hijacking of posts, aggressive language, talking about small points such as word definitions rather than the jist of the message, lack of sensitivity to others view points, lack of objectivity in discussion, self opinion before listening and perhaps a willingness to shoot before thinking? Oh and asking why you should be posting if it is so negative in some of these threads - I'd like to think I can enquire, learn and put a point of view into a melting pot despite the occasional whistling bullet or flying flak and because I want to be here and will not be bullied out of it. (Shields going up!)
The point about "cliques"whether they exist or not is that people feel they exist - even if they are wrong - we should try to find if there are real or perceived reasons for this and remove the causes where possible?
In my humble opinion one simple solution would be that moderators should step in earlier and ask people to change the way they say things or repost their point if it is becoming personal or aggressive.
Amongst the obvious features are hijacking of posts, aggressive language, talking about small points such as word definitions rather than the jist of the message, lack of sensitivity to others view points, lack of objectivity in discussion, self opinion before listening and perhaps a willingness to shoot before thinking? Oh and asking why you should be posting if it is so negative in some of these threads - I'd like to think I can enquire, learn and put a point of view into a melting pot despite the occasional whistling bullet or flying flak and because I want to be here and will not be bullied out of it. (Shields going up!)
The point about "cliques"whether they exist or not is that people feel they exist - even if they are wrong - we should try to find if there are real or perceived reasons for this and remove the causes where possible?
In my humble opinion one simple solution would be that moderators should step in earlier and ask people to change the way they say things or repost their point if it is becoming personal or aggressive.
Sexlightened
Put elephant list into google or and you should find plenty. They both advertise other free sites which are mostly good too but some will give you the run around.
You can also go to Sexkey if they are still going - was a reliable company. You use a credit card to verify your over 18 and CANCEL membership within 3 days to some Porn site associated with them and you get free membership to all sorts of categories for a year. I used it to find out what was really out there rather than talking about it.
Have fun
You can also go to Sexkey if they are still going - was a reliable company. You use a credit card to verify your over 18 and CANCEL membership within 3 days to some Porn site associated with them and you get free membership to all sorts of categories for a year. I used it to find out what was really out there rather than talking about it.
Have fun
