Am I such a rarity then, being a man who's quite happy to cook and capable of producing something edible on a regular basis?
We had roast organic free range chicken with dairy-free mashed potatoes, sauteed leeks & mushrooms, and proper home made gravy last night. I can't say any of it was particularly complex or involved. I'm not sure what I'm cooking tonight, but I suspect it may involve chicken stock, as there's a carcass in the 'fridge that's begging to be boiled up for a couple of hours with a carrot, an onion, and a bundle of herbs.
I'm in two minds about this. When I was growing up we used to have fireworks every year and as my birthday's on the 1st of November we often had them for my birthday party. As I've got older I've set off quite a few myself. Mostly they've all worked properly and not posed a danger to anyone, but I've seen a few interesting near-misses.
1) My dad buried a large mortar firework the wrong way up, when it went off it launched the still-burning tube 20-30 metres up, taking out our next-door neighbour's shed when it landed.
2) A 48-shot display firework that fell over on the first shot, firing the next 40-odd at the spectating goths lined up against a wall. Somehow everyone dived for cover and nobody got hit, but for two minutes it was like being on the wrong end of a firing squad.
3) Several rockets that fell over or were caught by the wind on launching and ended up pointing at me.
I also used to live somewhere that suffered year round from kids with fireworks, with a peak between October and New Year when we'd regularly have them set off all evening until midnight or later. Now I've heard the odd one or two, but not really enough to be bothered by them.
On balance I'd be in favour of greater regulation of who can sell fireworks, but I wouldn't want their sale banned completely.
Rimmer in the Red Dwarf episode Polymorph:
Erm, I think we're losing sight of the real issue here, which is 'What are we gonna call ourselves?' Erm, and I think it comes down to a choice between 'The League Against Salivating Monsters' or my own personal preference, which is 'The Committee for the Liberation and Integration of Terrifying Organisms and their Rehabilitation Into Society'. Erm, one drawback with that - the abbreviation is 'CLITORIS'.
Kayaking in Scotland at the end of November? You're a braver man than I. We were sailing on the Caledonian Canal at the beginning of August and that got a bit chilly, so I dread to think what it's like in the winter.
How about a Nun's outfit - couple it with a metre rule and go as the Penguin from the Blues Brothers. It's long, black and doesn't involve wearing a wig, only a wimple.
Fiona from Shrek 2 sounds good to me, does that involve lots of green face paint?
I have very fond memories of two mates of mine dressed up as Tank Girl and Lara Croft, but that doesn't really fit your long skirt/trousers criterion.
Sorry this is a little late, but here goes anyway:
Juice of 1 lemon + two teaspoons runny honey in a mug, topped up with hot water. Drink. Repeat as required for symptom relief.
1g of vitamin C daily, twice daily if you can tolerate it without side effects.
1g of paracetamol every four to six hours with no more than 4g in any 24 hours. (n.b. do not take Lemsip and paracetamol tablets together, always read the label).
Get well soon.
I've been talking about geting a tat done for at least ten years now, still not entirely certain what I want or where. I'm leaning heavily towards reasonably simple tribal patterns of some variety in black, so it isn't obscured by body hair. I'll probably get a lower leg sleeve, maybe extending on to my foot if I'm feeling brave. If I decide to get more I really need to work out for a bit, as my arms aren't defined enough for the tattoos I want to look good.
I'm amazed nobody on here's mentioned Simultaneous by Isaac Hayes (as Chef from South Park) - "I'm talkin' about you, and me, and her, simultaneous lovin' baby...", Chocolate Salty Balls is another of his offerings that I think's worth a mention.
I could probably think of a few more but I'm killing time before my exam and my brain hurts.
If I could get to Wolverhampton tomorrow I'd definitely come along, NMA play too rarely to pass up the opportunity to see them lightly.
Sadly I'll be spending tomorrow afternoon attempting to remember stuff about Finite State Automata and Turing machines in my OU exam.
Enjoy the gig.
I'm amazed nobody's mentioned Brian Johnston's "the bowler's holding, the batsman's Willey" comment, or indeed the Jonathan Agnew comment about Ian Botham: "he couldn't get his leg over".
Don't do:
eggs
raw tomatoes (deviant fruit, they should be eradicated)
cabbage, cauliflower, etc
Bring it on:
Haggis
Faggots
Black pudding
Crispy fried pig ears/tails
Shellfish, cephalopods, crustacians, and seafood in general
Congratulations, hope you guys have a good day.
As for the dancing bit, I have no useful advice to offer as both me and Mrs. DP don't dance (me because I'm crap and her because she has balance and visual perception issues), so when we got married we simply told my mates to get on with it while we went off to socialise with other non-dancing people.
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Other non-PC tracks that seem to invade my conciousness at inappropriate times include Hold Your Head Up High (and Blow Your Brains Out), also by the Bloodhound Gang, You Hate Me and I Hate You by GG Allin, and Piggy Pie by Insane Clown Posse.
