Silent_bob's Forum Posts | Swinging Heaven

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silent_bob

Over 90 days ago

Straight Male, 50

United Kingdom

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1 Sep 2005

Quote by freckledbird
try some viagra next time

Only if he's able to get it on prescription through his doctor, did you mean to add?
Well said Bev, though it's fair to point out that Sildenafil Citrate is not a controlled drug, so it's perfectly legal to possess, consume, or give to somebody else however you managed to acquire it. Selling it is another matter though.
Personally I'd have to be having genuine problems getting it up at all before I'd be tempted to try it, priapism being quite a painful side-effect that in the worst case scenario leads to the old man turning black and dropping off (if untreated, or not treated promptly, this is one you go to A&E for, no matter how embarrassing/inconvenient).
Before Viagra I had to counsel blokes on the use of the previous gold-standard drugs for impotence, they had the advantage that nobody who didn't have a genuine problem would want to take them as the routes of administration were a lot less convenient and a lot more uncomfortable.

1 Sep 2005

Quote by freckledbird
You realise you'll now become known as 'DP' don't you? :giggle: :giggle:

Well MISSCHIEF has already started that ball rolling. I did think about it, but decided I didn't mind, especially when I was having trouble coming up with any other name I was happy with.

1 Sep 2005

Quote by jezzay
A while back I was in a pub with my mate whose background is nursing and this had come out in conversation. Suddenly an attractive young man was at my side saying "So - are you a nurse too?" And I thought - bugger it - "Yes, I am." Unfortunately he was better acquainted with the local hospital than I and as my conversation stuttered to a halt he said "You're not a nurse, are you." "No," I said, "I'm a computer programmer but I thought nurse had more pulling power." "You're right!" he said and walked off.
I swear this is totally true.
Jezzay.
PS I have my first speed-dating event coming up. Will report back. What should I pretend to be?

Well personally I'd say that computer programmer had a lot more pulling power than nurse (unless you program in VB or something equally dodgy), but only if you want to pull a geek like me (or even a geek completely unlike me, which would probably be a better bet).

1 Sep 2005

Quote by SXBOY
this is getting more surreal by the minute

That's Stanley Kubrick for you, he's responsible for the misspelling, I'm merely perpetuating it.

31 Aug 2005

Quote by Jags

Newcastle is a bit soggy tonight. Thunder, lightning and torrential rain, all hot and steamy now though.

It was quite impressive in South Shields as well, though we're now basking in the cool, fresh, sea breeze that's following the storm.

31 Aug 2005

Quote by postie
And can i just check you spelt that right? P R evert?
FFS keep the avatar for a couple of weeks so i dont lose the plot completely.....

I did indeed spell that right, the full quotation (in case there are any philistines out there who haven't seen the film - it's in my top 5 all time favourites in case you hadn't realised) is:
Group Capt. Lionel Mandrake: Colonel! Colonel, I must know what you think has been going on here!
Colonel "Bat" Guano: You wanna know what I think?
Group Capt. Lionel Mandrake: Yes!
Colonel "Bat" Guano: I think you're some kind of deviated prevert. I think General Ripper found out about your preversion, and that you were organizing some kind of mutiny of preverts. Now MOVE!
Don't worry, the avatar's staying for the forseeable future, since Slim Pickens is far more photogenic than I am and it fits a lot better with my username now I've changed it.

31 Aug 2005

I don't do it so much with new threads (though perhaps I should), but I quite often do that when replying to posts, normally when I get to the end of what I've written and decide to go back and re-read what other people have written to make sure I didn't misinterpret anything.

31 Aug 2005

Quote by MISSCHIEF
Oh DP ( :shock: )
After reading your new name less quickly than the first couple of times I realise -
1) you're not a 'Deactivated Pervert' :shock:
2) nor are you a Privet :undecided:
Yehhhh I like it has more of a ring to it than bhd1976

Thank you, I knew the old one was crap, I only picked it because I'm too lazy to remember more than two or three different username/password combinations.

31 Aug 2005

Quote by Ms Amber
Usually an hour in dribs and drabs through the evening.......I leave the computer on and nip back every so often to read new threads...... very addictive stuff is SH

I'm the same, but since I'm not working at the moment it tends to be in the background all day.
Still, it's no more addictive than the other things I've found to waste my time online, it's just displaced my gaming habit.

31 Aug 2005

Just thought I'd let everybody know that I've changed my username to something a bit less crap. smile

smile

After much deliberation (well about ten minutes, but I couldn't think of anything better) I've decided to become Deviated Prevert, it might not be great, but it's about the best I can do and as I seem to have developed a bit of a Dr. Strangelove theme to my forum persona I figured it was appropriate.
I did briefly consider Merkwurdichliebe but decided no on two grounds:
a) It's simply too obscure a reference
b) I can't remember how to spell it
Many thanks once again to Mark for sorting it all out for me.

31 Aug 2005

Personally I quite like looking at pictures of naked women, but I'm equally happy with clothed pictures if they're on an ad here. To be honest, I don't mind adverts with no pictures at all, so long as the text is saying something interesting.
I'm not particularly keen on extreme close ups or 'action' shots on an ad, if that's what I want to look at then there's no shortage of those sorts of pictures on the 'net, most of them taken by at least semi-professional photographers with decent kit and some idea of how to take a good photo.

31 Aug 2005

Quote by flapjackboy
Oh well, did any of the ones that want their PC fixing appeal to you?
I get that a lot when I meet people, for some reason they think that a Linux sysadmin will know exactly how to sort out whatever crap proprietary software they happen to have running on their POS Windoze box.

Yeah, some of them were nice, but I don't think their interest in me was anything more than free/cheap tech support.
Oh well, worth a try I suppose.
I must admit I've never been speed dating, I got pulled by my other half waiting for a bus outside work (about the only time I've been happy to regularly spend 3/4 of an hour waiting for a number 11 when they're supposed to turn up every 7 minutes.)

31 Aug 2005

Quote by flapjackboy
You go to a speed dating event and the only women who show any interest in you are the ones that need their PCs fixing.
Guess that'll be me last night, then...

Oh well, did any of the ones that want their PC fixing appeal to you?
I get that a lot when I meet people, for some reason they think that a Linux sysadmin will know exactly how to sort out whatever crap proprietary software they happen to have running on their POS Windoze box.

31 Aug 2005

Quote by SXBOY
ALEXANDRA your so sweet,,
so on that basis if he was a guy with a Mc Donalds badge on you would not ask for a big mc meal with chocy milk shalke then

I'd ask him where Burger King was? lol

lol

theres always one "" BK aint as nice in my opinion
What, are you mad?
I can't say I particularly like either of them, but at least BK serve stuff that looks like it might once have been alive.

31 Aug 2005

Quote by JustABloke
As far as being a single male goes, It's all to do with supply and demand......there's plenty of supply, but limited demand....oh and a lot of singles think that if they reply to an ad and don't get sex, then it's crap.....they don't realise that women (in general) prefer to establish a relationship (however brief) before letting some hormone crazed ejit loose on them!...

Well said sir, you beat me to it.

30 Aug 2005

Well I have to admit to being completely flirt-blind, pretty much anything other than 'so do you fancy a shag then' will probably go straight over my head.
I somehow suspect that had I been better at reading people's intentions I'd have had a lot more shags over the years, instead of large numbers of female friends who tried it on, thought I wasn't interested (even though I was almost certainly trying to work out how to flirt with them, also a skill I don't possess to any great degree), and decided that I might be a half-decent mate instead.
I blame going to an all-boys school, it took me at least two years after I'd left before I could converse with an attractive woman without turning into a gibbering wreck and staring at my shoes.

30 Aug 2005

Quote by wales_cple
Ooh so typically BRITISH of you all to defer from the subject...

Well I did provide an answer in my first post in this thread, albeit of the don't know variety.
I'd tend to go with the people saying that it doesn't really matter what you call it as long as you're having fun, though I'd also find it hard to disagree with the comment about a gang bang involving one or two women as the centre of attention and a lot of blokes*, while an orgy would involve a more flexible mix of participants and activities.
*or indeed one or two blokes and a lot of other blokes, if that's your thing.
At the end of the day, you could just call it group sex and get on with doing it rather than discussing what to call it. wink

wink

30 Aug 2005

Quote by EnglishChris99
No point in getting hung up on different words for the same thing, when you can call a spade a shovel.

I think there's probably a fair number of gardeners and builders on here who'd beg to differ on that point (at least they would if they're as much of a pedant as me lol

lol

). Whilst the two tools are superficially similar, they're designed to do very different jobs, as you'd quickly realise if you tried to dig the garden with a shovel or move sand around with a spade.

30 Aug 2005

Quote by postie
Ooooooooh! I have a job at last!
I think, in my official capacity as SH library dude.... I shall file it alongside " auto-fellatio"... Bill Hicks does a fantastic sketch on it...
BH: if men could blow themselves, all you ladies in the audience would be sitting there on your own.............

I do know one bloke who could do that, though since he's put on a fair bit of weight I don't think he can any more. He's also the only person I've met who genuinely does have a 12" knob (at least to my knowledge).

30 Aug 2005

Strangely enough, I remember an almost identical question at a party I went to a few years ago in Bristol. I can't remember what answer we came up with, but since the person who raised that point lives in the valleys I did have to do a double-take on your avatar to make sure I wasn't about to reply to my former housemate.

30 Aug 2005

Quote by fabio grooverider
I had to worked.....
I had a few "tizers" once i finished work.......
I fell down the stairs from the after effects of the "tizers"...
sean.....in pain and off "tizers"

p.s.... any fit looking nurses would be really nice right about now......

Got any interesting bruises to show off?
The best (if that's the right word, maybe 'most impressive' would be more appropriate) drinking injury I ever managed was when I fell down a very narrow and steep flight of stairs after somebody had spiked my pint with a ridiculous quantity of vodka and then challenged me to down it - I slipped at the top, bounced once on my arse halfway down, and landed in a crumpled heap at the bottom. I had a four inch wide bruise straight across both buttocks and one of them still has a decently-sized dent in it over ten years later.
Personally I had a really quiet weekend, we'd planned to do some light DIY but the better half was too tired so we just chilled out instead, which was fine by me.

30 Aug 2005

Hello and :welcome: to SH

30 Aug 2005

Quote by rogerthedragon
Talking about christmas should be banned until at least the 1st of December!!!!!

I second that thought.
Personally I don't mind christmas, as long as it's kept in proportion. If I'm putting up decorations they go up on Christmas Eve (which is normally when I did my shopping before the Internet made it easier), and then I just concentrate on having a relaxing break from work for a few days before the real celebrations start on New Year's Eve.
Of course I do have a few family distractions - two of my Mum's brothers were born on the 26th and 27th of December, a stroke of extraordinarily bad planning on my grandparents' part.

29 Aug 2005

Quote by Robert1961
Just out of interest, were you meeting her at the place you mention in the other thread you started today ?
If so, I think you might just have found the reasons you weren't able to rise to the occasion.
As others have already mentioned, whenever it's happened to me I've resorted to other techniques and it hasn't taken to long before my tackle has caught up with my mind. :twisted:

nope somewhere totally differant
Fair enough, I thought it worth asking though.

29 Aug 2005

Just out of interest, were you meeting her at the place you mention in the other thread you started today ?
If so, I think you might just have found the reasons you weren't able to rise to the occasion.
As others have already mentioned, whenever it's happened to me I've resorted to other techniques and it hasn't taken to long before my tackle has caught up with my mind. :twisted:

29 Aug 2005

Hmm... better see if I can type this quickly before the post gets locked.
Obvious Question:
Isn't SH good enough for you?
2nd Obvious Question:
Assuming it isn't good enough for you, what makes you think that people who're happy to use SH are going to direct you somewhere else?

29 Aug 2005

Quote by postie
Nice one Postie
looks like it'd be a good appendix to this thread , though perhaps you should stick a similar warning at the top so newbies realise it's not being serious?

Damn! I knew i should have done a search before typing all of that!
Well you have covered the forums, which were notable for their absence from the thread that I linked to, so I don't think the effort was wasted.
Personally I think both threads are great and might actually help if they're read in the right spirit by newbie single men as sometimes humour is the easiest way to get the point across.

29 Aug 2005

Nice one Postie rotflmao

rotflmao

looks like it'd be a good appendix to this thread , though perhaps you should stick a similar warning at the top so newbies realise it's not being serious?

29 Aug 2005

Quote by reddevil555
lol, some quality infotainment, im now looking forward to learning what words mean
still havent figured out what a munch is yet..lol
time for a bit more digging me thinks

here would be a good place to start digging, methinks.

29 Aug 2005

Quote by wombleric
where is chams manchester?

Putting the term 'chameleons' on it's own into Google gives their website as the 11th link down, after a couple devoted to the 80s indie band and a number related to herpetology. Or you could just look on the clubs & parties section of this site.
Either way it would have taken less than a minute to find out it's in Darlaston in the West Midlands, not Manchester.