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silent_bob

Over 90 days ago

Straight Male, 49

United Kingdom

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23 Nov 2005

Quote by naughtynymphos1
Never used them but there are many condoms now that come in larger and wider size's avanti do a larger size i used to buy them all the time but i have just found some called 'pasante' that are 'large wide fit' and i got them from the bloody pound shop can you believe for a box of 12! so i though for that price i'd give them a go :shock: they have proved to be very good and quite expensive from boots so all you big boys out there don't need to 'shag a bin bag' just shop about :wink:

Well I've tried Avanti (ok but a bit tight redface

redface

), and I did find a very cheap source of Condomi XXL, but they're only really useful for blokes who get a lot wider at the bell end, if you're about the same width all the way down they feel like a tourniquet :cry:
I've even started reading the small print, though that isn't helped by different places quoting either circumference or diameter - I object to getting my calculator out to work out if I'm going to be able to fit my knob into a bag of latex/polyurethane/nitrile. :lol:
Incidentally, I wouldn't have classed my bits as anything out of the ordinary just by looking at them (maybe I just haven't seen enough to compare, but you'd have thought seven years at a boy's grammar school would have provided plenty of opportunities for comparison). Looking at the range of condoms available though, it seems that you don't have to go very far ouside of 'average' before you're a niche market.
I'll have to have a look at the Pasante ones, though IIRC they're about the same size as the Condomi XXL - if they stretch better though or don't get narrower at the base, they might well be a solution.

23 Nov 2005

I've got a mate who swore blind that she was five feet tall.
We measured her one day and she came out as being four feet, eleven and three quarter inches tall. A figure that she came to be reminded of on quite a number of occasions. :twisted:

23 Nov 2005

Ok, I don't think this has been done (at least a search for 'femidom' produces two results, neither particularly relevant), but has anyone on here ever used a femidom, and if they have what's their opinion?
I've seen one once, when I was training as a pharmacy tech we were obliged to be aware of their existence, but as I didn't work in retail pharmacy I never came across them again (not a lot of recreational sex amongst hospital patients). The only thing Mrs. DP could add was that an acquaintance of hers had described them as 'like shagging a bin bag', mainly due to the sounds produced.
Why do you ask these weird questions about obscure contraceptive devices? I hear you cry. Well, without wishing to turn this into a thread on the dreaded topic of C@#! S!#@, I've been browsing the 'net in search of condoms for the wider man, so as to speak, and they came up as one suggestion.
So, your thoughts are welcome.

23 Nov 2005

Quote by naughtynymphos1
I suppose when your talking about getting thro a condom that tiny size diffarence matters

Possibly, but as far as I'm aware condoms also provide some protection against Hep B, which is almost exactly the same size as HPV (at least according to the figures above).

23 Nov 2005

Quote by couple_ne2000
WW could you possibly provide a reference for that statement about HPV getting through condoms? I only ask because I've just checked with Mrs. DP (who has a PhD in Immunology), and she's pointed out that since HIV is about the same size as HPV, a condom that can stop one should be able to stop the other.
Of course, since HPV can colonise pretty much any part of the body (it being the cause of normal warts as well as genital ones), the danger of infection comes from contact with bits that aren't covered by condoms (like fingers, etc).

I'm afraid I have to disagree.
HIV comes from the retrovidea family which are 80 - 100 nano metres in size
HPV comes from the Papovaviridae family which are 45 - 55 nano metres in size
She may however have been thinking of Hepadnaviridae This virus is 42 nm in size and causes Hepatitis B, which can be sexually transmitted as well as being a blood borne virus.
I suppose it depends on what you class as 'about the same size as'. dunno

dunno

- compared to some of the larger bacteriophages for example there's not a lot to choose between the three you mention.

23 Nov 2005

Happy Birthday Postie.
According to Wikipedia you share your Birthday with Boris Karloff - exhalted company indeed. smile

smile

23 Nov 2005

Quote by Sarah
Read some of these, courtesy of Rainbows, who put this together sometime ago:-
(Rainbows if you are out there, pop in some time and say hello again )
Anal & DP
http://www.swingingheaven.co.uk/swingers-forum/viewtopic/42636.html - DP and small cocks
http://www.swingingheaven.co.uk/swingers-forum/viewtopic/40736.html - Anal-advice Please
http://www.swingingheaven.co.uk/swingers-forum/viewtopic/37877.html - Women-anal-cum
http://www.swingingheaven.co.uk/swingers-forum/viewtopic/36266.html - any tips for first time anal
http://www.swingingheaven.co.uk/swingers-forum/viewtopic/32501.html - DP thread
http://www.swingingheaven.co.uk/swingers-forum/viewtopic/34032.html - Female Anal Sex
http://www.swingingheaven.co.uk/swingers-forum/viewtopic/32065.html - Anal thread
http://www.swingingheaven.co.uk/swingers-forum/viewtopic/30864.html - Do women really like DP?
http://www.swingingheaven.co.uk/swingers-forum/viewtopic/29761.html - Anal?
http://www.swingingheaven.co.uk/swingers-forum/viewtopic/27039.html - Anal, from front or behind?
http://www.swingingheaven.co.uk/swingers-forum/viewtopic/26151.html - Anal sex - Advice please.
http://www.swingingheaven.co.uk/swingers-forum/viewtopic/25978.html - Who likes analingus?
http://www.swingingheaven.co.uk/swingers-forum/viewtopic/19591.html - Anus or bust
http://www.swingingheaven.co.uk/swingers-forum/viewtopic/16333.html - Anal sex for men
http://www.swingingheaven.co.uk/swingers-forum/viewtopic/12712.html - Anal mmmm - or yuck
http://www.swingingheaven.co.uk/swingers-forum/viewtopic/10287.html - Anal sex. Painful?
http://www.swingingheaven.co.uk/swingers-forum/viewtopic/10827.html - Too big for anal?
http://www.swingingheaven.co.uk/swingers-forum/viewtopic/10619.html - Anal insertions?

I was looking for that. smile

smile

23 Nov 2005

Quote by marmalaid
However, I think this thread amongst others illustrates my point.

The post you cite reads very much as though he is wanting it to be done to him. If a specific question is asked, then usually a specific question is answered. If the question is ambiguous then you have to expect ambisexual answers.
Personally I thought the original post I linked to was by somebody who didn't have a good command of the English language, or had never considered the possibility of him receiving anal from his wife with a strap on. Although the use of the word 'give' could have led to another interpretation, I admit.

23 Nov 2005

Quote by naughtynymphos1
It's more that they appear out of the woodwork and circle like vultures every time an innocent n00b says the A word.

but this is a sex/swingers site, newbies or not surly noone who comes on here would be offended/upset at the though of a woman with a bloody strap on?? :shock:
I don't think anyone would be offended or upset, at least if they are then they're probably in the wrong place. However, I think this thread amongst others illustrates my point.

23 Nov 2005

Quote by Darkfire
mmmmmmmmmmmm Ben & Jerry's :inlove:
that'll be the New York double chocolate fudge with choc chips for me then! (not just ordinary choc chips might i add, these things are like dairy milk chunks!!)
it's absolutely incredible - bonus being its soooooo sickly and gooey, 2 spoons is enough!! :thumbup:
(each spoon being about 4000 calories) Oh

I'm currently working my way through a tub of Tesco's finest Coffee Ice Cream. Bought it on a whim as it was on special offer, but it's quite an experience. It's basically like ice cream made with unsweetened latte, there's a definite caffeine kick to it (always a bonus smile

smile

), and it goes very well with a little honey.

23 Nov 2005

Quote by little gem
If you have a purple bar thats full and you've only been here a month

...then your fingers are likely to be worn to mere stumps, you'll be half-blind with eyestrain, and you'll probably have an RSI. That's over 30 posts per day FFS! Not even Bluexxx could keep that up for any length of time.

23 Nov 2005

Quote by naughtynymphos1
Well it's a different first post, apart from being one of the most common thread topics after 'is my cock big enough?'.
Can't/won't (take your pick which) comment I'm afraid, except to say that the search button is your friend

Not to him, DP, or he wouldn't have asked it.
Chris
Fair comment.
Having said that, at least I didn't choose to assume that he meant being thoroughly rodgered by a strap-on equipped lady for comic effect (and to see if we can make the newbies squirm). I did consider it, but then realised that that's pretty much how the last two or three of these threads ended up going. Where's Blue when you need her?
and whats wrong with a strap on equipped lady??
Nothing, so long as they're not aimed at my chocolate starfish. lol

lol

It's more that they appear out of the woodwork and circle like vultures every time an innocent n00b says the A word. :wink:

23 Nov 2005

Quote by marmalaid
Well it's a different first post, apart from being one of the most common thread topics after 'is my cock big enough?'.
Can't/won't (take your pick which) comment I'm afraid, except to say that the search button is your friend

Not to him, DP, or he wouldn't have asked it.
Chris
Fair comment.
Having said that, at least I didn't choose to assume that he meant being thoroughly rodgered by a strap-on equipped lady for comic effect (and to see if we can make the newbies squirm). I did consider it, but then realised that that's pretty much how the last two or three of these threads ended up going. Where's Blue when you need her?

23 Nov 2005

Quote by little gem

A website with all the C.D. a girl could possibly need! ;)
:giggle:

I'm glad I'm not the only one who's first thought on seeing 'CD' wasn't about music. smile

smile

It reminds me of a mate who innocently commented that he was likely to be getting CBT to try and help with his depression. :shock:
He had to explain to a couple of very concerned mates that he was in fact going for Cognitive Behavioural Therapy, and not Cock and Ball Torture. lol

lol

23 Nov 2005

Well it's a different first post, apart from being one of the most common thread topics after 'is my cock big enough?'.
Can't/won't (take your pick which) comment I'm afraid, except to say that the search button is your friend wink

wink

23 Nov 2005

Amazon's probably the biggest, but there's also and a good few others. (Amazon, Play and some of the others take advantage of a tax loophole by basing their operations in Jersey, which is why they're able to undercut everyone else).
eBay can be a good source for rare stuff, but isn't quite as reliable (though some of the bigger eBay sellers are every bit as good as large chains, though usually a somewhat more specialised range).

23 Nov 2005

Quote by Darkfire
Forgive me Father for I have sinned...
Many moons ago, I had a bf who, quite frankly, was a bit of a twat. This particular relationship was understandably short lived but from which I have some very fond memories.

Anyway, one particular day we'd had a 'disagreement' about women's roles within the home, his major point being that tea should be on the table waiting for when he got in from work. Now, me being me, was not too impressed with this 'serve my dinner at 6pm' order, but decided the best policy would be perhaps to bite my tongue and just get on with it.....
So, I did. That particular evening I did tea, nice home-made steak and kidney pie & gravy, promptly served at 6pm without further problem. I left him to eat in front of the TV, while I cleared up in the kitchen, and making sure I hid the 3 empty tins of Pedigree Chum at the bottom of the bin. :twisted:
Oh, and if he's reading this and thinking :shock: :shock: , I aint sorry either !!
What is my pennance for this culinary sin Father? :twisted:

Remind me never to annoy you (though in this situation I have to say I like your style lol

lol

).

23 Nov 2005

Quote by Darkfire
Having just posted on the Fears and Phobia's thread - i had an idea :idea:
:scared:
I have a major 'thing' about spots - if I find one, it has to be 'busted' - either on me or on someone else!! Now, its probably more an obsession than a phobia, and I have been known to stop everything, mid-shag and say 'oh my god, look at that spot!!' - and promptly dash off for tissue, tweezers and TCP :shock:
I'm a dab hand with tweezers too - ( see ES taking notes in corner :notes: ) - and one of my favorite pastimes ever is to 'shape' someone's goatee, hair by hair, until it's perfect (and he's very sore :twisted: )
What I'd like to know is, am I the only one??? or do we have other resident spot-busters in da house?

:shock: :shock:
bolt

bolt

23 Nov 2005

I'm not too bothered by rats, though I've never seen their attraction as pets.
Similarly, I tend to be facinated by invertebrates of all varieties, rather than scared of them.
I don't like heights though.
Seriously, I really don't like heights. I get vertigo if I see somebody else going up a ladder FFS!

22 Nov 2005

I'm giving this a bump.
Hi Clai wave

wave

22 Nov 2005

How quickly can this thread be locked I wonder?
Good luck with your search, I somehow suspect you won't be using SH to conduct it though.

22 Nov 2005

Quote by cheekychimp

Are the plants getting scourched by the sun? That would turn them yellow. When you water them in the morning make sure you do not get water on the plants themselves as this will increase the scourching. Try watering them in the evening when the sun starts to go down.

Oh ta .. I do tend to slosh it about a bit
DD
LOL......me too.
However, mentioning slosh or sloshed to be more specific.....I'm also thinking of having a go at making my own wine...to be consumed in my potting shed of course...I might even end up with SwingingHeaven 69..! Tips on wine making would really help..!!
Don't make wine from root vegetables if you want other people to drink it.
Pretty much any fruit (including cartons of fruit juice) can be used to brew wine. Over-ripe bananas are great for bumping up the sugar (and thus the alcohol) content - especially if mixed with something that's got a lot of acid to balance it out (crab apple and banana wine anyone?) If you use honey instead of sugar then you'll end up with mead instead of wine, which can be quite interesting (blackberry mead is very good, and I've made some Elderberry that was quite pleasant). It's too late in the season now, but in the autumn I used to find that canal towpaths were an excellent source of Elderberries and Blackberries, with the bonus that they're much less contaminated by traffic fumes than ones growing by the side of the road.

22 Nov 2005

I'm not going to the party but I'd like to request Gay Bar by Electric Six as I think it'd suit Marcuso's dancing 'style' to a tee.

22 Nov 2005

Quote by berksbex
I am seeing a vanilla....in the sense that he wouldn't do the swinging scene himself or even watch but doesn't mind me swinging.........does that still make him a vanilla???

In my mind, if he has no problem with you swinging, then he can't be vanilla smile

smile

because he is showing an open mind etc
I'm not so sure, Mrs. DP certainly wouldn't class herself as a swinger.
Incidentally, a while ago I did find a Vanilla Pride community on Livejournal, so some people at least consider it a positive label that they wish to be associated with.

22 Nov 2005

I did find this link , it doesn't help if you want exact figures, but will give you a general idea of if you've got a big willy or not. It also covers girth and uses hte handy technique of comparison with common household objects. smile

smile

22 Nov 2005

Do you realise that I've just had a brief think through my previous 'conquests' and I've never shagged a complete vanilla :shock:
The closest is Mrs DP, but she's vanilla by choice these days rather than it being a lifelong thing.
Hmmmm... I might have to try sometime, it could be an interesting experience. smile

smile

22 Nov 2005

Well it's slightly more inventive than the standard does cock size matter? thread.

22 Nov 2005

Quote by Darkfire
DP, oh DP.... your ad writing skills and 'how to do a decent LMU post' knowledge are required over here!! .....

Ok, I'm here at last. I can't promise that anything I suggest will result in loads of positive replies, after all that largely depends on the content of your ad, and we can't help you there. As it is it's ok, but a few suggestions:
1) Your current title is good in that it describes you, but doesn't stand out and make people want to click on it and find out a bit more.
2) No pictures - this does not mean you should put up a picture of your knob, but a clothed face or body pic will give people some idea of what you look like and how you choose to dress (this can be important, eg I'm a geek and habitually wear jeans and a t-shirt, this is going to be a problem for somebody that likes their blokes in a business suit).
3) As far as content goes, you're doing better than a lot of the ads out there, but I think you might need to work on it a little bit. Try to forget what it is you're advertising for a moment and just concentrate on letting people know what you're like and how you enjoy spending time when you're not shagging. People often forget this, and end up coming across as somewhat single-minded.
4) Connected to 3), you need to organise your ad a bit, use paragraphs and don't be afraid to chop and change it a bit so that it flows. Read it back to yourself first for readability, spelling and grammar, then try to imagine yourself as the male half of a couple and read it. Does your ad sound like somebody you'd like to spend time with? Is there anything in it that could put people off?
5) I agree with Postie about removing your email address from ad text and using the anonymous email function - as a single bloke you're a top target for scams and it's a lot harder for them if they have to be a logged in member to contact you. You can't stop them entirely, but I've been careful with my email address and they're only an occasional problem for me.
6) One way to get more people to read it is to put a link to it in your forum signature and then make some thoughtful and relevant posts in the cafe. Get yourself known a little (we're nice to newbies, honest wink

wink

).
There's probably a lot more I could say, but that should be plenty of food for thought. If you do re-work it post a reply in this thread and I'm sure on or two of us could be persuaded to comment on it once more.

22 Nov 2005

Quote by Mister_Discreet
There's no real substitute for watching over the shoulder, but a good place to start researching is ... you might recognise the logo!

What he said.
No net nanny type software is going to work perfectly, and keeping an eye on what the kids are doing online is really the only way to be sure. Of course sysadmins like me just tell kids 'look at whatever you like, but remember the logs of everywhere you've visited end up being emailed to me'.

22 Nov 2005

Quote by McCloggie
This seems to have gone to a snake appreciation thread but as different "pets" - and I use the word carefully as they were NEVER pets - I have had a couple of owls and a kestrel in my time.
McC

Some mates of mine moved in next door to a large bird of prey (not sure exactly what sort, but not an owl).
It looked damn impressive on it's perch in the garden (they live on the edge of town in the Yorkshire Dales), but their two cats had learned to give it a wide berth, after a couple of initial scares before they realised how long it's teather was. smile

smile

Personally I've always liked the idea of keeping some kind of weird marine life, possibly hermit crabs or some such. If I didn't have a cat I'd also be tempted by some sort of mustelid, probably a ferret. There was a woman who lived near us in Brum who used to take her two out to the shops on leads.
I did also see a bloke years ago who kept a pot bellied pig and grazed it on a lead in a park in Bournville :)