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smokerjim

Over 90 days ago

Bi-curious Male, 50

0 miles · Kent

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6 Aug 2005

Quote by CarrieAnn

weve all shagged in a virgin train toilet

Are you completely mental???? Did you not catch anything while you were there?????
........................................................
How about in a layby up against a Saab 9000 on quite a busy road!!
C x
The train for starters - I would have thought that was a given!

6 Aug 2005

Quote by PoloLady
Dino and Horny Red both like............................
oxygen :shock:
This important statement was made by our under his cover reporter Timmy during an intense conversation that he insisted I had with him whilst he was asleep.

He might just be warming up to revealing something very deep and meaningful - or even the meaning of life, the universe and everything.... :shock:
This needs close monitoring! If you need any help monitoring Timmy in bed, I will gladly volunteer to do a few shifts :twisted: . After all this could be ground-breaking stuff, I owe it to the community, the nation and maybe even the world! :grin:
Is there nothing you wouldn't do for the benefit of the community, country and mankind in general? What an inspiration you are! Giving up your free time despite the chance of getting nothing in return!

6 Aug 2005

Quote by Debbiewebs
Two things I have read about....
1. Using a frozen tiptop as a dildo (not for long, just long enough to cool things down before sex (haven't tried that)
2. Giving a blow job with alternating mouthfuls of iced water and a hot drink (a nice cup of tea being my personal preference) - have tried that and it seemed to have an effect
:angel:

Having been on the recieving end I can say that that is a sensation every man should enjoy at least once!!!
what about twice :twisted:
Love ice cubs in my mouth and giving oral it kills the pain off Jew ack lol

lol

I hope you're getting worried Mike :lol: :lol: if not then I am bolt

bolt

:bolt:

6 Aug 2005

Quote by Debbiewebs
Jim babes well you no what my answer is. :bounce: :bounce: :bounce: ............. and you no where i am thinking that would be a good venue! :rascal:
See you there soon! :twisted:

debs it cant be there hun Vanuilla Enviroment Hun
MikeC
Transport links are a bit ropey too, I think - ok for hotels mind
when has it become a vanuillia place :shock:
It so far from it babes well when i am there rotflmao

rotflmao

I think he meant it has to take place in a vanilla environment - so as not to scare the newbies, they're not all like SM ( TFFT! )

6 Aug 2005

Quote by CuddlySimon
Debs didn't frighten me, but Smoking Muff was a bit frightening, she's not reading this is she?
Wouldn't have minded a demonstration of her puffing, shooting and squiring though

Yes Quick - run away, run for the hills!!!!! bolt

bolt

:bolt: :bolt:

6 Aug 2005

Quote by well_busty_babe
would rather have a "finger o' fudge" anytime!!!!!!!!!!!
i want warming up not giving hyperthermia!

Aren't you hot enough already? rolleyes

rolleyes

wink

6 Aug 2005

Quote by MikeC
Jim babes well you no what my answer is. :bounce: :bounce: :bounce: ............. and you no where i am thinking that would be a good venue! :rascal:
See you there soon! :twisted:

debs it cant be there hun Vanuilla Enviroment Hun
MikeC
Transport links are a bit ropey too, I think - ok for hotels mind

6 Aug 2005

Quote by MikeC
Do older women ever fantasise about younger men.
Obviously older guys like the 18 glamour dolls but do the more experience ladies like the thought of teaching a thing or two. And what sort of age differences do people think are acceptable.

oooo yes i like younger men. :twisted: ....... the trouble is some how i frighten them dunno why dunno

dunno

biggrin

Debs hun u never frightened me at notts.......
MikeC
In everyone's best Frau Fabissma voice ( the scary German woman in Austin Powers ) "LIES!!! :grin:

6 Aug 2005

Quote by angelnn66
Two things I have read about....
1. Using a frozen tiptop as a dildo (not for long, just long enough to cool things down before sex (haven't tried that)
2. Giving a blow job with alternating mouthfuls of iced water and a hot drink (a nice cup of tea being my personal preference) - have tried that and it seemed to have an effect
:angel:

Having been on the recieving end I can say that that is a sensation every man should enjoy at least once!!!

6 Aug 2005

Hello Clair, you are right I would do more than try to give you the kiss of life, what I would try is to not do anymore ( not until we were proper introduced, at least - I am a gentleman! )

6 Aug 2005

Quote by clair

We'd love to have you

Easy Tiger!!! lol

Quote by smokerjim
esp as she can make sure of the job - and I can try to give you the kiss of life! :bounce: :twisted:

What do you mean Try?
:shock: :shock: :shock:
I'd hope if the extremely athletic SM does decide to seek revenge on me you'll do more than try to revive me!
Do you mind reading my reply in the Kent Munch thread - and keep the mods happy?

6 Aug 2005

Quote by postie

Damn sight closer to chavs and pikeys - so don't knock it - anyway the French could probably speak better English than most Northerners ( if you are from the South----or Southerners if you are from the North )
I am gonna get soo flamed for that little dig....

6 Aug 2005

Quote by Perfect Stranger
Hello everyone.
When I first posted here I claimed some virtual snogs in celebration of my "newbie" status.
Well I have been away a very long time, do I qualify as a repeat newbie ? I know I am not strictly new anymore but where snogs are concerned I am just plain greedy. So can I still claim my newbie snog ? ( Will accept from any gender as they are virtual )
Either way pleased to meet you all.
Take care

kiss

:kiss: :kiss: :kiss: :kiss:

passionkiss

silly

assionkiss: :passionkiss: :passionkiss: :passionkiss: :passionkiss: :passionkiss:
BTW, as I don't think we have met are you male or female? I would guess male from you nick - but I could be wrong! wink

wink

6 Aug 2005

What a shock - can't say I liked him, or his politics, but still respected his priciples

6 Aug 2005

Quote by tattyxpx

Thanks Tatty - but I haven't asked for an invite, 'cos I don't think me and smoking muff can come ( wee bit strapped for cash ), but thanks for thinking of me anyway :lol2: :lol2: :lol2: :lol2:
( I do know who you mean - and it aint me - have a good one )

rotflmao

redface

SmokerJim.... you and yer lovely other half are MORE than welcome at ma house any time..... but shhhhh I don't think the person I was refering to has seen this as yet surprised

surprised

ops:
:kiss:
Silly boy - if I was him, I'd be checking your posts every opportunity, hey ho must be tiring walking everywhere, carrying all them heavy bags - legging it from snarly dogs and stinging wasps! lol

6 Aug 2005

Quote by clair

Uh oh - you ( and your beautiful animated boobies )are in soooo much trouble SM has just issued a 3 minute warning

Ermm I believe the 3 minute warning was actually issued by the government to give us all time to run for cover and try and make it to the air raid shelter!
bolt

bolt

Quote by smokerjim
OMFG, even I haven't got one of those ( well, not for a few months at any rate lol ) - you are soooo dead!!!
BTW would you be inetrested in a Kent Munch, organised by me ( and SM ) :lol2:

I would love to come to any munch you two organised - provided I'm not dead before then of course
We'd love to have you - esp as she can make sure of the job - and I can try to give you the kiss of life! :bounce: :twisted: wink

wink

passionkiss

6 Aug 2005

Quote by Vix

Smoking Muff has another sneazing fit! :giggle:

Err, yeah.. wtf was all that about?
Smoker Jim, is that "normal" for her?
Sneezes should not be 2000 decibel "beep"'s!
Sorry Vix, would you be kind enough to speak up a bit - I didn't quite catch it ( bugger, where's the book about sign language again? )

6 Aug 2005

Quote by clair
I have never spoken in my sleep - I can catagorically state that to be true.
Smoking Muff, however has a different opinion to that statement!

Well here's a bit of ground breaking news.
Just heard that
The government have issued a worldwide alert. :shock:

The military are on code red
Weather Stations are monitoring all channels
Just in case

Smoking Muff has another sneazing fit! :giggle:
Uh oh - you ( and your beautiful animated boobies )are in soooo much trouble SM has just issued a 3 minute warning OMFG, even I haven't got one of those ( well, not for a few months at any rate lol ) - you are soooo dead!!!
BTW would you be intrested in a Kent Munch, organised by me ( and SM ) :lol2:

6 Aug 2005

Good to see you here Mike - just master a take the p*ss attitude, and you will fit right in!

6 Aug 2005

You might want to try a proper fry up with plantain now that's what I call tasty ( nb: a banana is an acceptable substitute for those not near and Afro-Carribbean shop ) just make sure you fry it thouroughly before you eat it.
{/hi-jack}

6 Aug 2005

Quote by tattyxpx
:bounce: :bounce:
For those of you who are staying over, can I just let you's know that as much as I don't ever kick ppl out my house, on this occasion I am asking that those staying make their way out of the house for 12noon on Sunday, purely because I want to spend a bit of 1 on 1 time with the most wonderful man I have ever met
All this said..... Let the fun begin ;)

Thanks Tatty - but I haven't asked for an invite, 'cos I don't think me and smoking muff can come ( wee bit strapped for cash ), but thanks for thinking of me anyway :lol2: :lol2: :lol2: :lol2:
( I do know who you mean - and it aint me - have a good one kiss

kiss

)

6 Aug 2005

Quote by JudyTV
I didn't get any dundeecpl, (sorry I mean dundee cake) where's mine????????? :lol:

Yes but, no but, yes but, no redface

redface

errr oh well um ..........oh fluck it give me a ring then :P I have another big chunk that they gave me, I was keeping it for a special occasion. Lets chill out on Dundee cake and Lorn sausage as supplied and hand delivered by Dundeecpl.
God I'm a mug for a pretty face I even gave away some my Dundee cake to Mal. Well, a couple of slices of it anyway wink

wink

Judy
Yum yum - save some of that for me please Judy - I'll bring the bacon and eggs for brekkie. Have you any black and white pudding to go with it? :twisted: :wink:

6 Aug 2005

I have never spoken in my sleep - I can catagorically state that to be true.
Smoking Muff, however has a different opinion to that statement! wink

wink

6 Aug 2005

Quote by Vix
sign me up jim

Hi, Lee!
:love:
It will be excellent to see you both again, and Lee don't forget Mrs Sir Lee ( Kaz :smitten: ) but remember to keep your eyes on the LMU forum for notice of this munch to turn up there!

6 Aug 2005

Quote by Sarah
good idea.
Need any help???
(I must be mad to offer )

If there was enough interest I was probably going to ask, sorry beg, for help from some experienced munch orgs. such as your good self. Thank you Sarah kiss

kiss

So far it is looking as though I will have to check dates, venues, etc wink

wink

6 Aug 2005

I thought of this last night - but I want to get some opinions on this. Who would like to attend a Kent Munch? Has one been done before? Is someone else thinking of one? This is not a sign up for one ( hence it is in the cafe ), but would people be intrested in one next year ( March or April time ) probably somewhere in Maidstone. I have not looked into it too deeply, but I think I might have a venue that is suitable. But what I want to know is, is this a good idea - and would you go?

6 Aug 2005

You're only sick about it 'cos I nipped through that loophole before you shut it :lol2: :lol2: :lol2:
( Quick, Happy Cats, and Meat - she hasn't shut it yet, if you're quick you can get away from her punishment shagging! This is your last chance!!! Hurry boys bolt

bolt

:bolt: :bolt: )_
Sorry, Naughty Wigan Couple, what was that? Me? No, no, why would I be aiding and abetting in the escape of Happy Cats and Meat? I'm totally innocent, me.

innocent

:whistling:

6 Aug 2005

Quote by Naughty Wigan Couple
I agree, that Meat is a cheeky so and so, give him what for!

Totally agree Happy Cats, but have you realised you are next in line for a good seeing to! :twisted:
Lets be vaguely adult about this and arrange it properly - why not do the punishment shaggings in alphabetical order?
I'm just going to e-mail Mark to change my nick to "Zzzzz the sleepy bastard" :lol2: bolt

bolt

6 Aug 2005

Quote by Naughty Wigan Couple
Why do we have wait in turn to get him? Wouldnt it be more fun if we all got him at the same time?
And just in case your feesling left out SmokerJim, I am sure we can also get you as well :twisted:

I'm sure you ladies can work something out between you, and thanks for offering to bring me along - it's always nice to have an independent ajudicator, just standing by to make sure you don't all go too far ( like a UN peacekeeper, and just as useful ) just let me know when it is, and I'll bring my blue helemt! innocent

innocent

:whistling: :whistling:
bolt

bolt

6 Aug 2005

Quote by LisaMarie
well I have to agree with sarah, its awful that you all think we are only
good for doing the dishes.
I thought you guys werent sexist..
though you were too good to be true.
men :) :)
lisamarie

You're not from Wigan though are you? I belive it is only about Ladies from Wigan - and even then no one on this site! ( I think I've covered myself - I'm safe! )
BTW Can all the ladies decide who gets Meat first? Those of a Wigan persuasion or Debbiewebs and Smoking Muff? Or any future punishers he decides to create!!!! ( now I've finished my smokescreen no-one is going to attack me)
bolt

bolt