Join the most popular community of UK swingers now
Login
smokerjim
Over 90 days ago
Bi-curious Male, 50
0 miles · Kent

Forum

Just to smack this into left field for a mo, I want to say that I can't keep it up with a prophylactic on and a willing woman waiting :shock: :shock: redface - going bareback with smoking muff ( the wife ) or anyone else we both trust is no problem, but when it is time to cover Mr Lover, he goes on strike! mad :x As a swinger, I find that to be a real irritation :x - and why I only seem to socialise with you here and in RL!!!!
No it is simply their way of stressing the importance of discretion. For example, swingers come from all walks of life.....but what do you think would happen to a teacher, if it was made public that they were a swinger?
If you like, look upon those words in the ads as the people saying "Please be discreet, because you could really fuck up our lives ( particularly work ), for no reasonable purpose."
Don't take it personally mate, but just because you have an enlightened view of the world ( and sexual relatioships, and their place within it ) does not mean the rest of the world shares your view ( Exhibit A, The News of The World, on any Sunday of your choosing )
Quote by goodtimez
Lucy I wa talking to a fellow countryman of yours and he said I had to ask you about the "square Sausage" he says the scots live on this delacasy is this right?
I'm not kidding he was vety passionate about this and said hed rather have it than having Haggis!! dunno
Not long now I can hear the bagpipes warming up lol
Mr goodtimez

You can find it in the freezer cabinets of some ( if not all ) Tescos - least I can in my little local one here in Kent
If you see it advertised via SH let a mod know ( use the "Report this ad" link on the ad ) and it will get removed. Mods do the best they can, and they need members help in spotting some things, but there will always be people out there that will want to abuse SH's free to use philosophy.
Quote by flapjackboy
Yep, all those photos that you see in the SH album have been digitally edited by secret government forces. None of this is real. The matricks has you.

Who has logged in as Flappy? He would not make this mistake.
Shhhh, it's a glitch in the matrix. :mrgreen:
OMFG - they've hacked in and re-written it. Instead of 40 drops tomorrow, now I'll get 80....and the M25 will be solid all day (hmmm, that last bit doesn't need a re-write though )
Quote by Jags
It's a different pic to the one the other week - and the other end of a different bloke. SAME colour T-shirt, probably not the same one but I can't be sure.
OK.. I'm having a GREAT time. You know who the first bloke was.. who is THIS one??
:P :P

No I don't.....I been doing 15 hr days in my new job - it's only cos I left the overtime alone tonight to try and catch up on sleep missed over the weekend that I am in tonight ( it was a nice idea at least )
I do know it aint me, 'cos I never had the pleasure of seeing ( or even talking to you )
Quote by Jags
Got my hair cut today.. flowing locks no more, Lochaber no more!!
It'll grow again - unlike Lochaber.
:cry: :cry:

Why is everyone speaking in Code ???
CODE??? what code? I see no code!
rolleyes
Oh dear, someone else too deeply immersed into the Matrix ( actually, let's not take the hi-jack down that particular road...... banghead )
Quote by Jags
READ YOUR PMs!!
wave :wave:
:rose:

When did you change your av! Is that the Jags? Or a picture taken by the real Jags ( a Saturday night battle scarred mobile brick out-house, that keeps Scottish breweries in the black? :twisted: lol )
It's ME - snogging another site member :wave: snog-buddy in the middle of the night in sunny France!
:happy: :happy:
Oh aye, right, but the photo is not too clear, so I guess I was right with my original description then ( can't be the hair framed by a pink top IMO ) :twisted: :twisted: :twisted: :twisted: :lol:
Quote by Sexysteph
READ YOUR PMs!!
wave :wave:
:rose:

When did you change your av! Is that the Jags? Or a picture taken by the real Jags ( a Saturday night battle scarred mobile brick out-house, that keeps Scottish breweries in the black? :twisted: lol )
SJ you missed the even better one biggrin Jags has lovely hair according to Dawn wink
:doh: :doh: :doh: :doh: :doh: :doh:
Quote by Jags
READ YOUR PMs!!
wave :wave:
:rose:

When did you change your av! Is that the Jags? Or a picture taken by the real Jags ( a Saturday night battle scarred mobile brick out-house, that keeps Scottish breweries in the black? :twisted: lol )
Quote by tattyxpx
You know me... I'm open to suggestions SJ, suggest away...I've never been a big Christmas lover, but for the kids' sake i go through the motions...and this year I just thought i might do something different... but just don't know what though.... going abroad is out the window rolleyes travelling very far is out the question cause I only have a couple of days and want to enjoy myself for once lol

I'll have a word with she who must be ignored....endured....sorry, I mean obeyed of course, :twisted: redface and see if she has a scooby.
Quote by tattyxpx
aye up folks... it's approaching that time of year yet again... rolleyes
slightly alternative Christmas dunno
... so if you think an alternative Christmas kinda Christmas is something you might fancy, either add your comments to here... or PM , with some suggestions etc.....

Just how "alternative" are you thinking of? :twisted: :twisted: :twisted: lol
Quote by vodkatonic
thanks again helen
great night
has smoker jim been seen since he was last seen heading into the club with tatty??????????? :shock:

nope dont fink so rolleyes
Should we send out a search party or trust the scotish blood in 'em to make it to thier respective homes safe and sound at some stage over the next week or so ?? :shock:
oi tatty get out from under that kilt ya cant hide there hun lol
H'excuse me Madam ( Hey Tatty - I ken whit ye saed boot da' Queen's Anglish shite! ) the closest I get to Scottish blood comes in 1/2 pint metal containers, marked..."Mc Ewan's Export" I be English by birth and Irish by the Grace of God! I'll try to put a decent reply about the munch when I get enough sleep to think of what happened, but don't wait up!
pmsl :roll: woops if anyone is gona make a twat of themselves it's me ffs redface
didnt recognise ya in Rios with hair and ya clothes off now i go and insult ya surprisedops:
i am so so sorry please feel free to administer a little light punnishment when we nxt meet
No insult taken - but I will try not to take you up on your offer of administering punishment ( I would only be putting too many naughty ideas in my head - :twisted: :idea: - and I ain't telling you which one!!! )
Quote by vodkatonic
thanks again helen
great night
has smoker jim been seen since he was last seen heading into the club with tatty??????????? :shock:

nope dont fink so rolleyes
Should we send out a search party or trust the scotish blood in 'em to make it to thier respective homes safe and sound at some stage over the next week or so ?? :shock:
oi tatty get out from under that kilt ya cant hide there hun lol
H'excuse me Madam ( Hey Tatty - I ken whit ye saed boot da' Queen's Anglish shite! ) the closest I get to Scottish blood comes in 1/2 pint metal containers, marked..."Mc Ewan's Export" I be English by birth and Irish by the Grace of God! I'll try to put a decent reply about the munch when I get enough sleep to think of what happened, but don't wait up!
if anybody fancies taking a piccie of me at the London mini much this Saturday for the calander, please do - just let me know if there is something you want me to wear for the pic.
Quote by Happy Cats
Hi Lucy
Sorry, but we are going to have to drop out.
:cry:

copy cats! mad lol
Hello Lucy, sorry to do this so late, but I am afraid that myself and smoking muff will not be able to come to the Scottish munch. Sorry if we have messed you around, but we won't be able to afford it - and the journey from down here will be murder for us. Hope to see you again soon though, and hope it goes well. kiss
Helen, and everyone else there, I am sorry to say that smoking muff wil not be able to attend - but if you will have me on there my own, then I am still coming.
Well after day one I can say, I have leapt like a salmon compelled to reach it's spawning ground....out of the frying pan into the fire - but even though it is a harder job and a stupid move ( on the face of it )in a lot of respects, I have enjoyed myself a lot - and so far, I will have to put up with a lot less crap than before ( and less wages :huh: ), but so far I am happy :thumbup:
BTW, thank you to everyone ( once again ) for all your support worship
Quote by BiWelshMinx
So are we going to get back on topic and have the first masterclass??? Cos I am really really shit and need to learn something soon before my palms get all hairy and women stop speak to me again. :upset: :upset: :upset: :upset:
Infact... can someone just tell me what todo with this big floppy thing between my legs... it has me all confused... sometimes it pee's white wee wee

/me takes EnglishChristo her (less than ample) bosom,"there there honey..it's ok really."
:P
Minx x x
Coulda fooled me there Minx kiss
Quote by kazswallows
Brilliant new on your new job SJ

So whats your excuse for being a miserable sod now lol :lol: :lol:

In answer to your question, I would like to refer you to Oscar Wilde, viz, "Bigamy is having one wife too many. Monogamy is exactly the same."
Quote by cheekychimp
:kissmyarse:

oo ya great serprise that! rolleyes :roll:
sorry im just toooooo boring. shall i take my 42d's
My Nanna used to mention 42d...think it bought 20 Park Drive....... :P
Nanna still going strong at 93..! Bless the old girl...xxx
CheekyChimp..... cool
2 guineas for 20 salmons? What a rip off! Someone was taking liberties with your nan, mate!!
This is a formal notification, to whom may actually give a toss, that I start a new job on Monday. I left it this long to say so, because from my pay rise thread, they found out I post here ( hence it has since been deleted ). And I want to take this opportunity to say....I don't know what to fugging say, cos I am a bit pissed drinkies - but I think I want to make clear, that even with my pay rise, I still hated the job, so don't be wage slaves, and I thank everyone for their support in the past ( not least smoking muff, with putting up with a moody bastard husband ) and to use the initials of the company....Shit Happens - Why Me? wink
Quote by JudyTV
I have asked this question before....................where exactly is this London place? wink
Judy

According to Mark and Lard ( when they was on Radio 1 ) Manchester was the Capital of England ( and where they broadcasted from, naturally ) and London was that nice nice, quaint village you might visit, if you were touring with The Shire Horses / The Mighty Horse / any other of their bands!
Ergo, your confusion is uderstandable, but totally unwarrented! Why move away from the capital, Judy?
Quote by Debbiewebs
well i ahve just done it tonight.....and i am not telling you

was that the face you were pulling at the time debs :P lol
naaaaa it was more like this

Was it the pukka drugs bust? Or just a spit roast? Did you go the whole hog and try to be airtight? :rascal:
ooo Jim me baby! see you have not changed wink :rascal:
You have not answered the question - or is it " You might think that....but I couldn't possibly comment! "
now Jim you do not want me to let all are little secretes out do you rolleyes :lol: :wink:
You mean you aint going to tell?...Ok, I'll let you back out with you dignity! :wink:
Quote by Debbiewebs
well i ahve just done it tonight.....and i am not telling you

was that the face you were pulling at the time debs :P lol
naaaaa it was more like this

Was it the pukka drugs bust? Or just a spit roast? Did you go the whole hog and try to be airtight? :rascal:
ooo Jim me baby! see you have not changed wink :rascal:
You have not answered the question - or is it " You might think that....but I couldn't possibly comment! "
L.A. Confidential - I think most will agree is a fugging awesome film....the book has actually been followed quite closely by the screenwriters, just with a couple of hundred extra pages that are mostly background ( but still bloody riviting )
A Bridge Too Far ( Dickie Attenborough, film & Cornelius Ryan ) the film is good, but I prefer the book, because it also offers a more human scale ( for example the SS soldiers congratulating some captured Paras for their fighting - saying it was as good an anything they saw in Stalingrad - and a corporal replying "It was only our first time of streetfighting....but don't worry, we'll do much better next time, mate!"
Quote by Debbiewebs
well i ahve just done it tonight.....and i am not telling you

was that the face you were pulling at the time debs :P lol
naaaaa it was more like this

Was it the pukka drugs bust? Or just a spit roast? Did you go the whole hog and try to be airtight? :rascal:
Quote by Happy Cats
Hi marcuso, can myself and Mrs HC have an invite please?

Sure can mate.....see you next Saturday
:thumbup: Thanks!
Damn....to late to stop Mr Bleedin' 'appy from turning up - I'll have to borrow some of smoking muff's anti-depressants sad
Quote by Debbiewebs
Now this is what I call a not one but two pairs of great tits!!!!

That is the Parus Major of course!

now come on Jim babes :shock: ............tell me the truth .............did you really ...............when you sew my tits in real life think they looked like that :eeek:
Of course not, Debs - but as everyone was talking about great tits, I thought I would offer up the ornithological version! You can't get a better pair of great tits than something that is called nothing else!